The Cockney Canuck - 146. Chapter 146 Super Sexy

I had never given much thought to what I wanted to do with my life after leaving school. I just assumed it would become obvious as I got older. The only serious hobby I ever had as a boy was swimming, but I lacked the determination and ability to succeed. I was never going to follow in my mom’s footsteps and match her achievements in the pool. So, I shunned her efforts to get me involved in competition and concentrated instead on passing my lifesaver exams. It meant a lot to me back then, but now I viewed it as a waste of time. Despite living so close to the lake, I rarely swam in open water and had never been called upon to save a life.

I suppose the intent was there, and I liked to believe I had a penchant for helping people. This was certainly true when it came to Nathan, and I felt the same way when I looked after Alex and visited young Jamie. It felt like I was doing something important that made a real difference, and their appreciation was clear to see.

For the first time, I understood what motivated Nurse Alice when she cared for my dying mom and Lorna, who held me in her arms when I was in shock following my accident. Those memories remained crystal clear even when everything else seemed blurred.

So, on Thursday, when Mrs Reigor asked the class to fill out a careers form, I didn’t have to think too hard. The answer had been staring me in the face for years. I thought about Alice, Lorna, and Sue. Then in the blank box next to preferred occupation, I scribbled, nurse.

Completing that section wasn’t mandatory, and most students chose to leave that box blank. Later, the school careers advisor would contact me to discuss the options available, but I knew it was attainable. I wasn’t expecting to get a job as a brain surgeon or a nuclear scientist. Nursing presented a realistic challenge that was within my capabilities, and I had Sue to guide me. It seemed like such an obvious choice; I wondered why I hadn’t thought about it sooner.

Rory looked surprised when I told him as we filed out of class for lunch. “Are you serious?”

“Of course, guys are nurses too, and I’ve been taking care of Nathan, you know.”

He raised his eyebrows at me. “I bet you have. How is he anyway? Is he coming back to school?”

“Probably not until he’s fully healed. He still has a way to go yet.”

“You should know, nurse.” Rory laughed as I pushed him through the double doors and into the noisy cafeteria.

“Very funny, Rory. I told you that in confidence, remember, and don’t tell anyone I’m back with Nathan either.”

“I won't, but Conner already knows. He still hates you, by the way.”

I expected as much. “Well, tell him I asked about him.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I know that, but tell him I did.” My friend looked confused as we joined the line-up for food. “Geez! Okay, how is Conner, Rory?”

“He’s okay.”

“Well, tell him I asked about him. Twice.”

“It won't make any difference; he’s still gonna hate you.”

“Whatever. That’s his problem. It’s not like he knew me for that long.”

“It’s because of Nathan. He thinks he’s a loser and can’t understand why you would want to be with him.”

It was impossible to explain, and I didn’t think I needed to. Conner had no reason to feel aggrieved.

“I don’t know why he’s moaning. He’s got a lot going for him. He just needs to learn how to treat people better in a relationship, that’s all. Anyway, he’s only seventeen; it’s not like I wrecked his life.”

When I finished my rant, Rory gave me the sweetest smile and gently nudged my shoulder. “I suppose you're right.”

“Of course, I’m right. I’m always right. Even when I’m wrong, I’m right.”

He rolled his eyes then stepped away from me as I tried to put my arm around him.

One could easily be overwhelmed by the love that poured from this boy, but lately, I had noticed a distinct change in Rory’s behaviour. He was more reserved than usual, and I was convinced it was because of me. Maybe the gossip was finally starting to get to him. Guilty by association with a well-known gay boy.

I never wanted it to be that way, but my initial plans to fly under the radar at Stephenson had proved a total disaster. My accident on the stairs and resulting coma made news throughout the school, and my subsequent attachment to Nathan only compounded my notoriety. I suspected every student, member of staff, and most of the parents now knew I was gay, even if I didn’t fit their perspective of what a gay kid should look like.

Rory had remained loyal throughout, but sadly my friendship came at a price. It was the constant peer pressure that drove a wedge between Daniel and Nathan, and I hoped the same thing wasn’t about to happen with Rory. It was his spontaneous hugs and boyish enthusiasm that got me through the day, but to some, this behaviour was unacceptable, especially if the recipient was gay. As Nathan said, the haters always win in the end.

That day, however, something else was bugging my friend.

“Is Nathan doing drugs?”

“Is that what Conner told you?”

Rory nodded as we reached the food counter, then pulled a face at what looked like meatloaf. “He said he saw him doing stuff at Ginny’s party.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to Rory. He was my best friend, and he never lied to me. I owed him the same respect, and Nathan didn’t seem particularly ashamed of what he did, so I tried to be tactful.

“He has used them, but nothing serious.” I waited for a reaction, which didn’t happen. Instead, Rory smiled at the woman behind the counter and ordered the lasagna. I decided to follow airline pilot protocols and chose the meatloaf. “At least one of us should survive.”

The woman frowned as she handed me a plate of something that vaguely resembled the stuff Sue cooked but almost certainly tasted like cardboard.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” asked Rory.

“Not as much as the lasagna.”

“No, I mean the drugs.”

I knew what he meant. “Oh, I see. Well, he’s not taking them anymore. He doesn’t need to; he’s got me. I’m like a drug to him, only much more addictive. You should try me some time.”

“I’m good, thanks. I don’t wanna end up in rehab.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear,” I said. “Nathan hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Rory wasn’t entirely convinced by my attempt to make light of what he considered a serious problem. He waited until we were seated and on our own before voicing his concerns.

“Drugs are bad, Robbie. You know that. Nathan’s stupid if he’s doing that shit.”

“I agree with you, but I told you, it’s not a problem anymore.” As I chewed on the meatloaf, he was staring into my eyes and making me nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just …. It doesn’t matter.”

I washed down my food with a mouthful of chocolate milk. “What is it, Rory? Something’s obviously bugging you.”

“Forget it.”

“No, I won't forget it. If you have something to say, then say it.”

“Conner thinks you're taking them too. He says that’s why you went back to Nathan.”

I was right. I wondered how long it would take for Conner to jump to that conclusion. I stabbed the meatloaf with my fork, but I wasn’t angry at Rory.

“Is that what you think?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“It matters to me, Rory, because you're my best friend, and I want you to believe me. I haven’t been taking drugs, okay? Conner’s just saying that because I left him for Nathan. But it isn’t true. I’ll even take a test if you want. Geez, how many more fucking tests do I need to take?”

Rory dipped his head and played with his lasagna. “You don’t have to take a test, I believe you. I was just worried, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, Rory. I’m not mad at you. It’s cool that you were worried.”

He went back to his meal, then stopped chewing and cocked his head at me. “What other tests have you had to take?”

“Tests? Oh yeah. Nathan made me go for one; that’s why I went to the doctor’s yesterday. You know, one of those tests.” I cupped my hand over his ear and lowered my voice. “He won't let me shag him otherwise.”

Rory pulled a face. “Oh! One of those tests. I don’t blame him, though.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s not what I meant. I think it’s right for people to get tested for things like that when they change partners. Good for him.”

“Nathan isn’t totally irresponsible. I know he’s used drugs, and he arranged to meet a lunatic at a motel for sex, but that’s not him. He doesn’t usually do that kind of thing. He’s not the type to sleep around. He always made me wear a condom whenever we, you know.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“Not Conner.”

Rory had a piece of lasagna hanging from his mouth that he spat out as he turned his head towards me. “Really? I guess that explains the need for a test.”

“Exactly. So, now you know everything about my sex-life.”

“I won't tell anyone,” he said and smirked. For once, he looked a mess. His usually kissable lips were covered in pasta sauce, and there was a blob of it on his chin. “Am I really your best friend?”

“Yes,” I said. “Now stop acting all gay and wipe that stuff off your face.”

Rory chuckled. “Yeah, right. Like I’m the gay one around here.”

I laughed with him, but he would have been the bookies favourite, for sure.

“You don’t know what you're missing, Rory.”

“Actually, I do,” he said with a bashful smile. “Rebecca likes to try different things.”

I was about to shovel a forkful of veggies into my mouth but stopped halfway to consider what he said. I was shocked as I lowered my fork and stared at his glowing face.

“You’ve been banging her in the backside, haven’t you?”

I was way too loud, and a couple of kids from the surrounding tables turned to look at us as I tried not to laugh.

‘It must run in the family.’

Rory’s dimpled cheeks weren’t far off the colour of the flag that hung from the ceiling behind him. I could have toasted marshmallows in front of them.

“Do you mind keeping your voice down?”

I regarded it as an admission of guilt and leaned back in my chair, satisfied that I wasn’t the only boy in my class with a penchant for a tight spot. But Rory of all people.

‘What has that girl done to my innocent friend.’

It was a remarkable transformation from choirboy to potential porn star in a matter of weeks and at the hands of Conner’s sister. I wondered what else she had been teaching him.

*     *     *

I was still thinking about Rory’s confession after school as I sat in our usual room, waiting for Jo to show up. It was unlike her to be late, but there were times when it just wasn’t possible for her to keep to a schedule. Appointments often overran their allotted time, and occasionally she would have to rearrange because of an emergency. I could tell it was going to be one of those days when she arrived with her phone pressed against her ear. She waved at me and dropped her bag on the desk before going outside to finish a heated conversation. By that time, the school corridors were empty, and I could just about hear her voice along with the metronome-like clicking of her heeled boots as she paced the tiled floor.

Jo sounded stressed, and I soon realised why. From what I could hear, one of her patients had attempted suicide earlier that day. A teenage girl in a care facility after Jo had removed her from her family. I knew she wouldn’t have done that without good reason, but it served as a stark reminder of her job's difficult nature.

People’s lives often depended on her decisions and assessments. In this case, a young girl who had probably been abused in some way had decided to end her life. I felt sorry for her and Jo, who would probably blame herself, even if there was little that she could have done to prevent it.

I could never claim to understand how that girl felt because in my case, even though the intent was there, I didn’t go through with it, and I’m not sure if I was desperate enough even to try. Did that make me a fake? Jo didn’t think so, and neither did Walter or Mr Andrews, but I never felt truly deserving of the special attention or considered myself a serious risk like Ginny. She needed all the help she could get; although it was possible, she thought the same about me.

When Jo returned, she did her best to disguise her pained expression behind a false smile entirely for my benefit.

“Sorry I’m late, kid. I’ve had a rough day.” She pulled a bottle of water from her bag and took a long drink, followed by a couple of deep breaths to compose herself. “How’s your day been?”

“It’s been okay,” I spoke tentatively as Jo somehow put her emotions to one side to focus on my problems. They were probably minuscule in comparison to what that poor girl was going through. I wanted to ask Jo about her, but I wasn’t supposed to be listening to her phone call, and she would never discuss a case with me.

“Well, your day is about to get a little better. I have some news for you. The cops have dropped the charges against your friend, Nathan. Or at least the ones that matter. He’ll still be charged with possession but not supply.”

My face must have lit up with the news. “How do you know? Who told you?”

“I have my contacts.” She put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back into my chair. “I never expected you to be so excited over an ex-boyfriend.” Her eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms. “Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

Jo never failed to amaze me. There were times when I was sure she could read my mind. Or maybe she just knew me so well. Better even than Nathan.

“Yeah, we’re back together,” I admitted. “I was gonna tell you, but everything happened so fast.”

“I kinda guessed that would happen.”

“How?”

“Because you haven’t stopped talking about him. It’s not normal to be so infatuated with an ex-boyfriend. I’m glad you guys managed to work it out. It was a big part of your problem, wasn’t it?”

I nodded. “I always knew we should be together. He makes me laugh. Well, I think I make him laugh too. I mean, we share the same humour and like the same movies and stuff. He loves all the old English comedies like the Carry-on movies.”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

“Exactly! No one has over here, but I grew up watching those films, and Nathan’s the only person I’ve met in Canada who knows what I’m talking about. Plus, he’s hot too. I mean, he’s cute, but he’s super sexy with it. I really like doing, you know, stuff with him. He makes me feel horny, just thinking about him.”

Jo put her hand up to stop me. “Okay, time out. Geez, and to think, only a few weeks ago, you were worried about getting it up. I guess that’s not an issue anymore.”

I could see her looking at the bulge in my jeans, and I quickly dropped my hands to cover it.

“Oops.” My cheeks were on fire as I offered her an embarrassed smile, but Jo found it amusing.

“It’s okay, kid. I know how they work; just keep your hands on the desk where I can see them.”

I giggled. It was a conversation I could only have with Jo.

“Oh, and I had to dump Conner.”

“It happens. You're only kids.”

“Try telling him that.”

She laughed. “So, he got dumped—big deal. I’m sure he’ll get over it. But I’m not here to discuss Conner. I wanna know what effect Nathan will have on your home life.”

“They don’t know yet.”

“And how do you think Don will react when he finds out?”

He was always her main concern, and she never allowed me to forget it. Jo had yet to meet Don, but she knew enough about him to be worried about my safety. Despite his size and short fuse, I wasn’t convinced that he hated me enough to want to hurt me, but Jo never left anything to chance. She was meticulous in her planning, and we had already spent a lot of time going over every possible scenario.

That day, our session lasted no more than half-an-hour. It wasn’t enough time for me, and there were things I forgot to tell her, like the strange man in the car outside Nathan’s house. It would have to wait now until next week, but soon that too would be gone. The more I improved, the less I would see of her. It was inevitable.

I was a different person now, and it was mostly down to Jo. She helped me answer a lot of questions. I no longer hated my real dad or blamed him for his absence in my life, and I was able to reset my relationship with Sue. But the person she helped me to understand the most was me. Without Jo, I doubt if I would have had the courage or confidence to leave Conner and take such a huge risk with Nathan.

It felt as if I had developed a unique connection with this woman, unlike anything I had experienced in the past. She knew every intimate detail about me, and I trusted her implicitly. It was this umbilical-like bond that I was so terrified of severing, but I knew my time with Jo was limited. There were other kids out there who needed her more than me, like the girl who tried to take her life earlier that day. So far, I was one of Jo’s numerous successes and considered myself lucky, but as we parted company that afternoon, she warned me against complacency.

“Be careful, kid and remember what I told you.”

“I will.” I smiled at her and closed the car door. It was impossible to forget. I was more prepared than I had ever been in my life, although I didn’t share her concerns. Things were going well.

Not even Don could dampen my spirits. He was watching me from the front of the house, and we exchanged polite nods as I joined him on the porch, but he couldn’t resist a quick dig at Jo.

“Still wasting your time with that quack, I see. Has she helped you at all?”

I stopped at the front door. “Yes, she’s helped me a lot.”

“Are you sure? I haven’t noticed much improvement. You don’t look any happier to me.” He stood before me immaculately dressed in a new suit and tie and reeking of aftershave.

“I’m a lot happier.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Maybe you can let your face know it occasionally.” His smile looked false, and he sounded insincere as he pushed open the door and followed me inside. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

I watched him stroll towards his study as I kicked off my shoes, then followed my nose to the kitchen. Sue was stirring a saucepan of something spicy. I peaked over her shoulder and surprised her with a quick hug.

“Thank you, dear. I didn’t hear you come in. How was school?”

“Okay, I guess. Is that a curry you're making?”

“Yes, do you like curry?”

“Of course, I’m from England, remember.”

Sue had an expression that she used whenever she didn’t quite understand, and it made me laugh as she told me to wash my hands and take some plates over to the table.

“Daniel’s out, but Stephanie’s here and Don’s already eaten.”

That meant five plates, but only Amy was seated at the table. Behind my little sister was a large suitcase which I eyeballed suspiciously as I laid out the dishes and sat down next to her. We chatted about her school, and she showed me a colouring book Stephanie had bought for her.

I could hear Stephanie and Nicola talking in the living room before joining us at the dinner table. I still felt uneasy whenever I saw my sister’s friend, and I smiled nervously at her as she sat down opposite.

It was her first visit to the house in a while, and I got the feeling all was not well between her and Nicola. I wondered if my sister had confronted her over our one-night-stand before Christmas. I was sure Stephanie would want to forget about it, but her recent odd behaviour suggested otherwise.

On Tuesday, after blatantly avoiding her at school, she left a message with her brother asking me to call her. David looked as puzzled as I was when he handed me a note with his sister’s cell phone number before our English class, but I deliberately left it in my locker.

She must have wondered why I didn’t call, and she looked as if she wanted to say something but didn’t want Nicola to overhear.

To ease the tension, I pointed to the suitcase. “Are you moving in?”

Nicola glared at us. She still believed something was going on with Stephanie and me, and there was nothing I could say to change her mind.

“That’s not my suitcase,” said Stephanie.

“It’s dad’s,” said Amy, and I nearly jumped for joy at the implications.

“Really, when is he moving out?”

They laughed, but I was joking. I knew I wouldn’t be that lucky.

“He’s going away for a few days,” said Sue. She looked happier than usual as she carried in a tray full of food and offered an explanation for her husband’s trip that no one seemed interested in hearing. Something about a presentation for an important new client, but I had my own news, which was sure to get a reaction, especially from Sue.

“I’ve decided I wanna be a nurse when I leave school.”

Nicola laughed, but Sue, as expected, jumped to my defence. “Leave him alone. Men are nurses too. Good for you, Robbie.”

“Why?” asked Nicola.

“Because I think I’d be good at it.”

“Nursing isn’t an easy job,” said Sue. “But it can be very rewarding. If you're serious, then I’ll help you.”

I knew it would make her happy, and I was rewarded with an extra-large portion of my favourite food.

Sue was a good cook when she was allowed to be, and I enjoyed her curry. It wasn’t the same as the Indian take-aways my mom used to bring home in England, but it made a nice change from her usual, somewhat limited cuisine. Don was to blame for that too. His stomach ulcer prevented him from eating anything spicy and imposed a bland diet on everyone else.

“Mom could teach you how to be a nurse,” said Amy. “Then you could work with Lorna. I like Lorna.” My little sister gave me a cheeky grin and nudged my elbow.

“Who is Lorna?” asked Stephanie.

“She was the nurse who looked after me when I had my accident.”

“She’s Robbie’s girlfriend,” added Amy, and she giggled. “He has a girlfriend and a boyfriend.”

Sue reprimanded my little sister, but everyone else thought it was funny.

“Isn’t he the lucky one,” said Stephanie.

She was joking, but I still felt the need to set the record straight. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“I didn’t think so,” said Stephanie, staring at me with a look I couldn’t read. Whatever subliminal message she was attempting to convey across the dinner table was almost certainly misinterpreted by Nicola. She shook her head and scraped back her chair before marching upstairs.

Sue looked at Stephanie and then me for an explanation. “What’s wrong with her?”

We both replied with puzzled looks, shrugs, and silence.

“Maybe she’s sick,” said Amy, but Sue wasn’t buying it and narrowed her eyes at me.

“Don’t look at me. I didn’t do anything.” I shook my head as Sue began clearing the table.

“I’m not accusing you of anything, dear. You shouldn’t be so paranoid.”

‘Paranoid?’

If I was, it was Don’s fault, and Stephanie wasn’t helping either. As preposterous as it seemed, I was starting to believe that maybe she did like me in the way Nicola thought, although I couldn’t figure out why or what to do about it.

‘Or maybe this is just a game she’s playing to piss off Nicola and freak me out.’

That seemed like a more logical explanation, and if true, it was working. Stephanie enjoyed playing pranks and had a dry sense of humour. It was a little weird, even for her, but I was more comfortable with this theory than any other.

With my sister upstairs and Sue in the kitchen, Stephanie seized her opportunity.

“You’re avoiding me?” I couldn’t reply with a mouthful of rice, so I shook my head in denial. “Yes, you are. I know you got my message. I need to talk to you, Robbie. It’s important.”

“Okay, I’m here.”

“Not now.” She flicked her eyes towards Amy, who was playing with her food. My little sister didn’t seem interested, but I knew she would be listening.

“Well, I’m kinda busy this evening. I have to help clear up. Then I have homework.” I stood up with my plate, but she grabbed my arm to stop me and yanked me towards her, so I looked into her eyes.

“I’m serious, Robbie. You have my number now; call me tomorrow. We can arrange a time to meet up.”

“Will it take that long?”

She stared at me. “I hope not, but I don’t know how you're gonna react.”

I had to rule out the possibility of a prank. She was way too serious.

“Okay, I’ll call.” I looked across the table at Amy, whose eyes were glued to us, and then at Stephanie’s hand that was still gripping my arm. “Can you let go now?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just don’t forget!”

“I won't forget.” I pulled a face at her like she was crazy and spun around, narrowly avoiding a collision with Nicola. “Fuck, you scared me! What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?”

“Forget what?” said Nicola.

“I can’t tell you,” I said as I inched away from her. “But you're both crazy.”

I was saved by Sue, who called me into the kitchen and pointed at the swear box. I don’t know how she did it. She could hear me swear a million miles away.

I didn’t have any money on me, so I headed to my room, but she stopped me. “It doesn’t matter this time; you can do the dishes for me, instead. I have to drive Don to the train station.”

He had an evening flight to catch from Toronto airport and looked stressed as he joined us in the kitchen with his suitcase.

“Where are you going anyway?”

“Calgary,” he replied. “That’s if I get to the airport on time.”

I started rinsing the plates and loading them into the dishwasher. I would have done anything Sue asked rather than chance Don missing his flight. I was ready to push her out the door, but something was bothering her. As she put on her coat, she paused to stare at the girls in the dining room. Nicola and Stephanie were laughing and looked to be back on good terms.

“Has Stephanie got a boyfriend?”

It was an odd question to ask me, and I shrugged. “I dunno, why don’t you ask her?”

Don rolled his eyes. “Is it important, I have a plane to catch?” He glanced at his watch, finished his coffee, and handed me his favourite mug—a gift from Nicola with the ironic inscription ‘the world’s greatest dad’. He patted me on the shoulder and signalled to Sue that it was time to leave.

While her husband said goodbye to the girls, Sue’s eyes followed Stephanie around the room. She seemed reluctant to leave, so I asked her what was wrong.

“Don’t repeat this to anyone, Robbie. But I think Stephanie’s pregnant.”

I dropped Don’s favourite mug. It slipped straight out of my hands and smashed into a thousand pieces.