The Cockney Canuck - 163. Chapter 163 Mayday

So much for Rory’s no-touching rule; my hands were all over my best friend that night and in places where they had never been before, but not how I would have liked.

I was kept awake by a dangerous combination of Alex’s drugs and Rory’s inability to stay still. He constantly fidgeted—invading my space with flailing arms and legs, making it impossible to avoid physical contact, and playing havoc with my libido. My mind was too active to sleep, but Rory was out for the count and didn’t stir, even as I doggedly defended my territory and crudely manhandled him back to his side of the bed.

The feel of his warm skin against mine only made things worse, adding to a growing problem that wasn’t going away. I was hot and frustrated, and my head was filled with sex. I grabbed his butt by mistake, and later as I clambered over him to get to the bathroom, my hand accidentally brushed against the front of his boxers. To my surprise, I wasn’t the only one popping a boner, and the faint smile on his face as he slept suggested a dream I wanted to be involved in; maybe I already was.

That thought alone was enough to keep me from peeing. Perhaps Nathan was right to be cautious of Rory, and suddenly his jealousy seemed almost prophetic. I wondered what my boyfriend would think if he could see me now, pacing Rory’s bathroom with an erection that was threatening to rip a hole in his borrowed boxers.

It was a problem that needed fixing before I went back to bed and seriously embarrassed myself, so I locked the door, switched the light on and made myself comfortable. I never imagined myself jerking off in my best friend’s bathroom, but as far as I was concerned, it was entirely justified within the context of saving my relationship. I may have been thinking of Rory, but I was only doing it for Nathan, and neither boy would ever find out. My reward was swift and plentiful, and I crept back to bed feeling much better than when I left, but sleep still eluded me.

It was only after Rory got up and I had the bed to myself that I finally drifted off, and then I didn’t wake up until eleven. Rory was dressed and playing on his Xbox in the living room when I called him from the bedroom to ask if I could borrow some clothes.

“You can come out,” he said. “There’s no one else here. I told my mom you were sick, and she let me take the day off to stay with you. So, no school today.”

Sue would not have been so lenient, but there was an element of truth in his statement. A lack of sleep and too much weed and alcohol had left me tired and hungover. I sat in Rory’s kitchen, wearing only his boxers and holding my head while he poured me a glass of orange juice and fetched me a Tylenol.

“I think I’m dying. I feel terrible.”

“Well, don’t expect me to feel sorry for you. It’s all self-inflicted. You should stay away from Alex and his friends; he’s never gonna change.”

“Did you know he sells drugs?”

Rory sat down opposite me and folded his arms on the table, looking very serious and unlike my usual happy-go-lucky friend.

“He’s been selling stuff for as long as I can remember. His brother was the same. I don’t like Alex. I know what he did to you, and I will always hate him for it.”

They were strong words from a boy who had no enemies and seemed to get along with everyone. There was no doubting Rory’s loyalty towards me, but there were things he didn’t know, and I didn’t need him to fight my battles.

“I don’t think about that anymore. He’s the one who has to live with it, not me, and I know he feels shitty because of it. I forgive him, though. I mean, you have to, or it just drags you down and ruins your life. Jo taught me that. Funny thing is, she’s also counselling Alex.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to bring you down, but maybe last night will teach you a lesson. You don’t need drugs and alcohol to have a good time. All you need is me!”

It was another bold statement from my blonde friend, but not entirely true. Rory ticked all my boxes except for one.

‘If only it were that easy.’

“Come on,” he said. “I’ll find you something to wear. I’ve already put your clothes in the washing machine.”

“What would I do without you?”

“You’re my friend, and friends are important, even if Nathan doesn’t think so.”

“That bothered you, didn’t it? I wouldn’t worry too much about what Nathan said. He didn’t say it to be nasty.”

“Maybe he thinks I’m trying to steal his boyfriend.” Rory gave me a saucy wink as he walked away. Flirting wasn’t a trait normally associated with my unobtrusive friend, but lately, he had become quite adept at it.

I was aching and still tired as I followed him back to the bedroom and sat on his bed, barely able to stay awake.

“What are we doing today?”

“Whatever you want. We can watch a movie, or if you want to see some comedy, I recorded the Arsenal game at the weekend.” He laughed as he picked a t-shirt from his drawer and threw it at me. “You can wear this if you want.”

“Yuk! No, thanks.”

We were almost the same height and build, so I knew I wouldn’t have a problem fitting into his clothes, but there was no way I was wearing a Man United top. I chucked it back at him with advice on where he should put it.

“How about Cold Play? They’re from your neck of the woods, aren’t they?”

He handed me a t-shirt with a picture of the band across the front. I never listened to their music, but the shirt fitted me perfectly, and, like everything else, it smelled of Rory. His scent seemed to have a calming effect on me, and his bed still looked warm and inviting, so while my friend searched his wardrobe, I crawled back under the sheets and closed my eyes.

“Are you still tired? Didn’t you sleep at all last night?”

I hugged his pillow. “No. Thanks to you. You move around a lot, don’t you?”

“Sorry, but I’m not used to having someone else in my bed.”

“What about Rebecca?”

“She never stayed here; we only slept together at the farm. You’re the first person to sleep in this bed other than me.”

I felt honoured. “I’m glad I was your first, Rory. That’s really special.”

“Thanks; it was special for me, too, even though I slept through the whole thing.”

I was glad he did. “So, you don’t remember me molesting you in the night?”

He smiled and treated it as a joke. “No, I guess you got away with that one.”

I stretched and rolled onto my side. “It was in self-defence. You were all over me. I was awake all night trying to keep you away.”

“Now I know you’re lying,” he chuckled, but it was true. I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I let it go, happy to know that he wasn’t awake when I had my hand on his butt.

“I hope this won’t affect our friendship, Rory.”

He laughed and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me. “I’m sure we can put it behind us, just don’t go around telling people we slept together.”

“But technically, we did.”

“I know, but it sounds bad. If you must mention it, just say we shared a bed.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No. Friends can share a bed, but they can’t sleep together. That’s too gay. You need to remember that rule when you tell Nathan?”

“Oh, I won’t be telling Nathan anything. He doesn’t need to know about this.”

My friend turned and shook his head. “That’s a bad idea. He’ll find out; then he’ll think we were ….”

“What?” I sat up and put my hand on his shoulder. “Say it, Rory.”

“You know what I mean.” He brushed my hand away and smiled sheepishly at me.

“Say it!”

He sighed. “Alright, he’ll think we were fooling around.”

I moved closer and stared into his eyes. “Say it properly.”

“He’ll think we were having sex.” He smiled and rolled his eyes as I clutched my heart and swooned, falling back onto the bed.

“I love it when you say stuff like that. Say it again with feeling.”

“Fuck you!”

“Not that much feeling, Rory. But you’re right, that’s exactly what he’ll think, and he’s insanely jealous. That’s why he must never find out.”

“But we didn’t do anything.”

“Not yet!” I rolled onto my stomach and kicked him in the small of his back. “You can have me if you want.”

Rory laughed and walked out. “I’m good, thanks.”

I was joking, of course, and he knew it. Flirting with him was fun and a little naughty, but it wasn’t cheating, and I had no intention of taking it any further. I already had a boyfriend, who I loved and wasn’t looking to replace, even with someone as mouth-wateringly delectable as Rory.

That’s what I kept telling myself, but it was a dangerous game that relied heavily on the assumption that he wouldn’t surrender to my playful advances, and sometimes that was far from certain. Whether or not I would have been able to resist had he decided to call my bluff was open for debate, but whenever we were alone, it always felt like something could happen, and I still wasn’t convinced he was straight. It added an element of danger that I craved and enough sexual energy to power a small city.

While Rory returned to his Xbox, I sank into his cosy bed and tried to stay awake, at least until Nathan rang. School lunch started at eleven thirty, and he called me from the cafeteria at a quarter to twelve.

He wanted to know why I wasn’t in school, so I told him the truth, leaving out only the bits I knew would alarm him, like everything that had happened the night before.

“It’s nothing to worry about. I was feeling a little sick this morning, that’s all.”

“You’re at Rory’s house, aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

“Daniel told me, and neither of you went to school today; it’s not rocket science, Robbie. What happened?”

I figured the truth was marginally better than allowing him to jump to the wrong conclusions, so I confessed.

“We bumped into Alex after the game, and he gave me a couple of beers. I couldn’t go home because Sue would have noticed I had been drinking, and I didn’t want to get grounded and not be able to see you tonight.”

“So, you stayed at Rory’s house and skipped school just for me?”

“Something like that.”

“Bullshit! What else did you do for me last night?”

“Nothing.”

“Exactly! Why didn’t you call me? You could have stayed at my house."

“I can’t remember.”

“You can’t remember what?”

“Most things. I didn’t even know I was staying with Rory until we got here.”

“How convenient. I suppose you can’t remember what you were doing with him all night either! No wonder you didn’t go to school. I hope he was worth it!”

“Now you’re being silly. You know I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“How would you even know if you can’t remember?”

“I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered something like that, but he’s not even gay.”

“I don’t believe that for a minute. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“That’s rubbish. Listen to me.” I lowered my voice and talked slowly. “I love you, Nathan, and you’re the only boy I’m interested in.”

My boyfriend was a sucker for those words and must have realised his accusations were unfounded.

“I’m sorry, I believe you. I don’t know what’s got into me lately.”

“Me!”

“Stoppit. You know what I mean. I know Rory’s your friend, but sometimes I get jealous.”

“I’m not gonna cheat on you, Nathan. You’re the only dick I wanna suck and the only asshole I wanna fuck.”

“Thanks, that’s very reassuring. I think.”

“I thought you’d like that.”

“I’ll try not to be so jealous in future.”

“Don’t try too hard. I quite like you being jealous. It turns me on.” I smiled as I waited for his response.

“Really? Are you turned on now, Robbie?”

“Oh, yeah. You wouldn’t believe how hard I am.”

I was lying. After standing at attention for hours, my penis was lifeless. I had to reach below the sheets and into Rory’s boxers to revive it.

“Show me. Send me a picture.”

“No, you’re at school.”

“I won’t show it to anyone else. I’ll go outside. Please.”

“Absolutely not; you’re underage. I could get arrested for sending images like that to a minor.”

“Only until next week. What are we doing for my birthday?”

I jumped in panic as I tried to remember what day. “Don’t worry; I got something special planned.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

“Then I’ll have to interrogate you. Meet me after school at my house, if you can remember.”

“Don’t worry; I won’t.”

*     *     *

I managed to claw back another hour of precious sleep before I felt my friend’s weight next to me on the bed and opened my eyes to find him much closer than I expected. Those big blue eyes were looking right at me, searching my soul and daring me to kiss him. I watched his lips as he spoke and wondered if he would ever allow me the pleasure, just once.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“I was asking what you wanted for lunch.”

“Lunch?”

“It’s what we eat in the middle of the day, remember? Today you’re going to have the pleasure of my fabulous cooking. You must be hungry.”

I didn’t realise how hungry I was until he mentioned it, and then the need for sustenance took precedence over everything else. He offered to make hamburgers, and in return, after one more sniff of his sheets, I agreed to vacate his bed.

For a guy with English parents, Rory was a surprisingly good cook. Hamburgers weren’t the finest cuisine in the world, but at least they were homemade from minced steak, and he put me to work cutting slices of cheese, tomatoes, and pickles.

Rory loaned me a pair of sweatpants while my clothes were in the drier, and we sat on his living room floor, stuffing our faces and watching TV until it was time for me to face the music.

Sue usually got home from the hospital at two-thirty, about half an hour before our bus arrived. I wanted to tell her I wasn’t at school before she learned from Nicola, but she already knew and didn’t believe me when I said I was ill.

“What was wrong with you?”

“I was sick.”

“Then you should have come home rather than go to a friend’s house. You could have made them sick too. Did you see Alex after the game?”

“We talked for a while.”

“Well, perhaps you caught it from him because he didn’t go to school today either.” I wondered how she knew this as the questions arrived thick and fast. “What happened to Matthew?”

“He went home after the game.”

“How long did you stay?”

“Not long; why?”

“Because there was trouble at the school last night. Some of the kids decided to stay behind and use the facilities for a party. I don’t suppose you know anything about it.”

“No, it’s news to me.” I used my finger to draw an imaginary line across my throat and put the phone on loudspeaker, so Rory could listen. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, Robbie. I was hoping you could tell me.”

“How would I know? It must have happened after we left.”

“And what time was that, dear?”

Rory was mouthing ten, but I ignored him. “I don’t know about seven, I guess. I wasn’t feeling well. How do you know all this?”

“Mr Andrews called me this morning; you should have told me you weren’t going to school.”

“I didn’t wake up until eleven, and then I felt too rough to do anything. I had to go back to bed. I’ve been sleeping all day.”

Rory shook his head. I may have exaggerated a little, but it was based on the truth, and I had no choice. I would have been grounded for a month if Sue had found out what really happened.

There was a long silence, and I prepared myself for the worst. I was certain she was going to tell me I had been caught on camera or Miss Pringle had seen me pissing behind the bleachers with a can of beer in my hand.

“Perhaps you really are ill then. I think you should come home now so I can keep an eye on you; make sure it’s nothing serious.”

“But I feel better now. I’m supposed to see Nathan.”

“Not if you're ill, dear. You don’t want to give it to him, do you?”

I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing. That’s exactly what I wanted to do.

‘Why else would I be going there?’

Rory thought it was funny too, but Sue wiped the smiles from our faces when she told me to be home in an hour.

‘Nathan’s gonna be pissed off, for sure.’

“You should call him,” said Rory, “while I get your clothes from the drier.”

Nathan was on the bus when he answered. “Hello sexy, are you still hot and hard?” A comment like that on the school bus was bound to get a reaction, especially on a Friday afternoon, which was probably why he said it so loudly. I could hear the other kids giving him stick, but he was toying with them, and I had to laugh when I heard him telling everyone off. “Sorry, Robbie, my bus is filled with virgins and homophobes.” It sounded chaotic, but that’s the way he liked it. “They’re jealous because I’m getting laid.”

‘Not tonight, you’re not.’

I waited until he got off the bus, and I could hear it pulling away before repeating what Sue told me.

“Great. You could be in trouble if they find out you were involved. You must have been wrecked. What were you doing with Alex that made you lose your memory?”

“I can’t remember.”

“Try.”

“We were smoking weed and drinking, that’s all.”

“You didn’t mention the weed earlier, but it makes much more sense. What else did you do?”

“Nothing else.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure. What do you think I was doing.”

“Never mind, it’s not important.”

I wasn’t planning to question him so soon about Alex’s allegations, but it seemed like the perfect opportunity, and I felt it was important to get everything out in the open while I had the chance.

“Are you talking about the other drugs he sells? Like the little white pills that you buy from him.”

“Is that what he told you?”

“Is it true?”

“Occasionally, yes.”

“Occasionally? How often is occasionally? Once a week? Once a Month?”

“When I feel like it. You’re not my mom; I don’t need to answer to you!”

“But you told me you didn’t do that stuff anymore. You lied to me.”

“And you never lie, I suppose. You’re a hypocrite. It’s okay for you to have fun. You can’t even remember what you were doing last night!”

“But I only had a few puffs of a joint and a couple of beers.”

“You’re not as innocent as you pretend. I know you’ve taken stuff in the past because Alex told me. I have to go now. I’m about to walk into my house, and I don’t want my family to hear me arguing about drugs. You can call me later if you can remember!”

‘Fuck!’

I put the phone down and stood in front of Rory’s living room window. I could see his reflection behind me before I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Was that a lover’s quarrel?”

“I dunno, maybe. It was our first fight since we got back together.”

“Well, it’s good to get it out of the way, I suppose.”

“Did you hear what it was about?”

“It was kinda difficult not to.”

“Do you think I’m a hypocrite?”

“Yes, you know my views on drugs. You can’t complain about him using them if you do the same thing.”

“But what he’s taking is much worse.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you could see the state you were in last night. You were funny, but it wasn’t good. I was worried about you.”

“I made a mistake, that’s all. I didn’t know how strong that stuff was. By the time I realised, it was too late.”

“You’re right; it’s generally too late once they’re in your system. Do you know how many kids die every week from making that mistake? You don’t need drugs to be funny, Robbie. People like you the way you are. If something happened to you, it would hurt a lot of people. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Come on, Rory. Give me a break. It was only a bit of weed. Nothing’s gonna happen to me.”

“It’s still a drug and it’s illegal for a reason. I’m sorry for moaning at you, but I’d be a pretty shitty friend if I didn’t.”

I rested my head on Rory’s shoulder and put my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry too. You’re right to be annoyed, and you’re definitely not a shitty friend. You came to look for me last night. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t turned up.”

He chuckled. “It’s not like I had far to go.”

“I know, but you still did it. Most people probably wouldn’t have bothered, even people I’m close to. It means a lot to me. I want you to know that.”

Rory squeezed me. “Hey, it was worth it. I enjoyed having you here all to myself. I don’t get to do that too often anymore.”

“You will, I promise. You can have me in a couple of weeks for the cup final, remember.”

“Of course. I won’t let you forget. You can sleep over the night before if you want.” He looked hopeful before checking his enthusiasm. “That’s if Nathan doesn’t mind.”

“Shit! I almost forgot his birthday. It’s next week sometime, and he’s gonna be sixteen.” I frantically scrolled through the calendar on my phone before breathing again. “It’s not until next Friday. I got a week to think of a surprise. Any ideas?”

“Rehab?”

I was surprised by his sarcasm. “Nathan’s not that bad.”

“Well, whatever you decide to do, don’t invite Alex.”

Rory handed me my clothes, and I changed in his living room while he cleared up, but I refused to return his boxer shorts.

“Whenever I sleep with someone new, I usually steal their underwear as a trophy; I hope you don’t mind.”

“Wow, where do you keep them all?”

“That’s not funny, Rory. You hurt my feelings.”

“Well, at least you won’t have to sleep with me when you stay for the cup final. I can bring the mattress in from the spare room.”

I wasn’t too disappointed. Sleeping with Rory didn’t meet expectations, and I was no closer to figuring him out. He was an intelligent kid, but when it came to his sexuality, he was forever contradicting himself, saying one thing and then doing the complete opposite while keeping me in a perpetual state of confusion.

*     *     *

Sue had a face like thunder when she came into my bedroom to talk to me later that evening. She had been tetchy since I arrived home, and everyone knew why.

“How are you feeling now?”

I turned away from my computer and smiled weakly. “Much better, thanks.”

“I talked to Mr Andrews, and he seems to think they were mostly older boys who caused the problems last night, and they weren’t connected with the school.”

I wondered why she would bother telling me this if she didn’t believe I was involved.

“Okay.”

“It’s not okay, Robbie because it’s not true, and we both know that.”

“We do?”

“Mr Andrews knows who was involved; there are cameras, you know.”

My heart missed a beat, and I was lost for words as Sue regained the initiative and put me firmly on my backside. Lying to her was a bad idea.

“But you said that he said that ….”

“He’s in a difficult position. If he takes action, he would have to expel his star pitcher. I hear Alex is quite good.”

“That’s an understatement, but expelling him would be harsh.”

“Vandalising school property is a serious offence, Robbie. Not to mention the drugs and alcohol. Alex is on probation. He hasn’t got any more chances.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Yes, I’m sure you do, but I’m not worried about Alex. I’m more concerned about his accomplices. There’s no excuse for that kind of behaviour. It’s irresponsible and plain stupid. Whoever those boys were, they should consider themselves extremely fortunate they weren’t caught and make sure they never get involved in anything like that again. What do you think?”

“Err, I think so too.”

“Apparently, the cameras weren’t working last night. Some kind of technical issue.”

I nodded in agreement. “They’re new. I think they’re having teething problems.”

“Well, never mind about that. If you’re sick, you’ll need to stay indoors this weekend and not see anyone. You should be okay to return to school on Monday, but until then, you’re not to leave the house, understand?”

“I’m grounded?”

“No, you’re sick.”

“Grounded.”

“Sick!”

“Does this mean I can’t go to church on Sunday?”

Sue stopped halfway up the stairs and thought about it. “I think you should be okay with that, dear. You can’t go back on your promise.”

*     *     *

Sunday was Mayday and the third consecutive day of blue skies and warm weather. It seemed like I was the only kid in town not in shorts as I sat in the passenger seat of Don’s car, ogling a boy as he crossed the road in front of us. He was younger than me, too young to be lusting after, but he was still cute and had nice legs. He noticed me watching him and stared back. He must have known where I was going from how I was dressed. The churchgoers were easy targets for the local kids, and there were two more sitting on the waist-high concrete wall that surrounded the parking lot. They laughed at me as I got out of the car in my suit, so I gave them a wanking sign and told them to fuck off.

Church kids weren’t supposed to react like that, and the pastor wasn’t pleased.

“You must learn to ignore them and turn the other cheek,” he said as he greeted us at the entrance. “They’re jealous of you because their lives are empty and meaningless, whereas you have God.”

I was pretty sure they weren’t jealous of me, and I wasn’t going to turn the other cheek either. They were younger than me and needed to be put in their place.

Don didn’t share the pastor’s confidence. He hadn’t spoken a word to me since we left home. “You’re wasting your time, pastor. He won’t listen to anyone. I’ve given up trying to reason with him.”

I ignored him as I scanned the crowd looking for Matthew and an excuse to escape. He was at the front handing out magazines, but my view was soon blocked by Hannah’s freckled face. She looked pristine in a white frilly dress with blue sequins that matched her eyes.

“Hey, Robbie. I heard what happened last week with your parents. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m sorry for you,” she said. “I know how difficult it is when a parent goes off the rails. I hope they manage to work things out.”

“I don’t.” I frowned and looked over her shoulder towards Matthew, trying to get his attention.

“I know you don’t mean that. I’m sure your mom’s a good person; she’s just lost her way.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my mom. He’s the problem.” I nodded towards Don and lowered my voice. “Whatever he’s been saying to people here probably isn’t true.”

“She’s turned her back on God.”

“No, she hasn’t. Just because she doesn’t attend your church doesn’t mean ….”

I was interrupted by Don. “Are you going to sit with Hannah?”

“I suppose.” I would have preferred to sit in a pit of rattlesnakes than next to him.

“I have to stay behind for a church meeting, so I won’t be going straight home. You’ll have to make your own way back.”

It was more good news, and I was already thinking about visiting Nathan when Hannah ruined my plans.

“That’s okay; we can give him a ride home. My dad won’t mind.”

Her enthusiasm brought a smile to Don’s face for the first time that day. He must have realised how uncomfortable it made me feel to have Hannah fussing over me and behaving like we were married. I was sure that was their goal.

He saved a stern expression for me along with the usual advice, which I would ignore.

“Stay out of trouble, and don’t embarrass me.”

‘Arsehole!’

Despite all his efforts to get me to go to church, I got the impression he didn’t want me there that day. He couldn’t wait to ditch me with Hannah, who grabbed my hand and led me in the opposite direction.

“We can sit with my family.”

“I thought we were going to sit at the back with Matthew?”

“Forget about Matthew. You can say hello to him after the service.”

When I finally made eye contact with the pastor’s son, he gave me a discreet smile but looked unconcerned that I wasn’t joining him at the back with the other kids. It was odd behaviour considering we were supposed to be friends, but nothing surprised me anymore with these people.

The service was long and boring, and I was kept awake only by Hanah’s repeated attempts to hold hands and behave like we were a couple. We sat in the second row, where I was trapped between my wannabe girlfriend and her father, while the pastor delivered an uninspiring sermon that focussed rather aptly on the importance of marriage.

It made me realise how subservient the women were to their male counterparts in this religion, and I could see how this philosophy appealed to Don. He always saw himself as the head of the family, but he lacked the moral authority to pull it off, and Sue wasn’t as willing to play along as most of the other obedient wives.

I was proud of my new mom for standing up to the pastor and giving him a piece of her mind, but the misogynistic followers of the church didn’t appreciate it. Judging by what Hannah told me earlier, I suspected they blamed Sue for the demise of her marriage, and Don would doubtless use it to his advantage.

Hannah’s dad was another typical alpha male, and when the service finished, he insisted I go back to their house for lunch.

“I think my mom wants me to go straight home,” I said. “I can walk; it’s not that far.”

“Don’t be silly,” said Hannah. “My dad will give you a ride home afterwards. My family want to get to know you.”

“Why?”

“Because I told them all about you.” She giggled excitedly. “You don’t have to be nervous. They won’t eat you.”

I recognised her mom from Don’s dinner party. She was short and plump with big breasts and too many kids who ran around the foyer colliding with each other and creating a mobile tripping hazard for anyone trying to leave.

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Three brothers and two sisters. I’m the eldest.”

The youngest was strapped to her mom’s chest as she joined her husband to chat with the pastor. I quickly did the math. Six kids in fifteen years.

“Don’t your parents have a television.”

Hannah didn’t get my joke, and she wasn’t the best conversationalist either, but she followed me loyally wherever I went.

To give her the slip, I told her I needed to pee. Then when I turned the corner, I walked past the washrooms and back into the hall where Matthew was stacking the chairs. He looked surprised to see me marching towards him, and he knew why I was angry.

“I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

“What’s up? Did I piss you off or something?”

“No, it’s not your fault. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“What is it then?”

“I can’t talk right now. You should go. Please, we can talk another time.”

I shook my head. “I don’t fucking believe you. I agreed to come here today so you could go to the baseball game, and you won’t even look at me.”

“You don’t understand. I wanna be your friend but not now. You’re going to get me into trouble.”

I was angry, but Matthew looked scared. He was nothing like the talkative boy who came to the baseball game in the week, and I felt sorry for him. I could almost feel his pain.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Can I call you later?”

“No, I’ll call you. Please, you have to go now.”

“Mr Taylor, what a surprise!”

I was startled by the unmistakable voice of Mr Symmonds bellowing from the door behind me, and suddenly everything made sense. Matthew closed his eyes and whispered under his breath.

“I told you.”

My friend looked defeated and broken, and I felt terrible as I turned to face my nemesis.

“You’re the last person I expected to see in the house of the lord. Have you decided to repent?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so. You’re not the type to feel shame or remorse, are you?”

He sounded angry, insulting me from the get-go. I didn’t want to antagonise him any further or get Matthew into any more trouble, so I didn’t answer. But he was a difficult man to ignore, standing almost as tall as the doorframe and blocking my exit.

“I need to go; people are waiting for me.”

He glared at me with dark beady eyes and then glanced towards Matthew, who had returned to his duties stacking the chairs.

“When I heard you had been attending church, I asked myself why would someone like you want to waste your time in the house of God. But I think you’ve just answered that question for me. I didn’t realise you two were friends. I would never have guessed; you have nothing in common.”

Matthew stopped work to interrupt from across the hall. “We’re not friends.”

Symmonds stared at the boy contemptuously, then turned to me with a smarmy smile.

“Did you hear that, Robbie? Matthew doesn’t want to be your friend, which is just as well because we wouldn’t want him associating with sinners, would we?”

“I have to go.” I tried to walk around him, but he grabbed my arm.

“We need to talk first.”

“Can you let go of my arm?”

I tried to pull away from him, but his grip tightened as he dragged me outside into the narrow corridor and pushed me against the wall.

“What has Matthew been saying to you?”

“Nothing. I’m not his friend.”

“I don’t believe you. He knows he isn’t supposed to talk to people like you.”

“Why?”

“You know why. Matthew is doing okay; he doesn’t need you poisoning his mind with ungodly temptations. You’re not to have any contact with him again, understand?” He released his grip and smiled when a man walked past us from the washroom. “Remember what I said. You won’t get any more chances. Keep away from Matthew, or I’ll tell Don about you and Tinkerbell.”

I watched him walk away as I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. Tinkerbell was an apparent reference to Nathan. He must have known I was seeing him, although I wasn’t sure how or why he hadn’t already told Don.

‘Fucking asshole!’

I went into the washroom to splash some cold water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. It was my fault Matthew was in trouble. I felt gutted for my friend, but I could do nothing to protect him.

Ironically, the only genuine prayer I said that day was in the church washroom. I prayed Matthew would have the courage to stand up for himself and call Jo, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

I left the bathroom in a hurry and nearly walked into Hannah.

“Are you okay? You’ve been in there for ages.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You look kinda pale.”

Her concern presented me with the perfect excuse to leave.

“You’re right; I don’t feel too good.”

“We can stand outside and get some fresh air.” She linked arms with me and walked me through the foyer—past her parents, who were still talking to the pastor—to the entrance. I pushed open the door just in time to see Don’s car reversing from the parking space.

“Sonofabitch!”

The woman in the passenger seat saw me and tried to hide her face, but her identity wasn’t important.

‘Amy was right after all.’

I turned to Hannah. “Who was that woman?”

“I don’t know.”

“I thought you knew everyone in the congregation.”

“I do, but I don’t know her name.”

“Is she Don’s girlfriend? She’s pretty fucking old and ugly, don’t you think?”

“You shouldn’t swear, Robbie; it’s not nice.”

“Not nice? He’s cheating on my mom and lying to everyone. Is that nice? He said he had to stay behind for a church meeting. You heard him!”

“Robbie, calm down. You’re jumping to conclusions; I’m sure he isn’t cheating.”

“Why, because he goes to your church? You obviously don’t know him that well!”

Hannah stood back and apologised. I guess her upbringing had taught her not to argue with her potential husband.

“I’m sorry. I know it isn’t easy for you at home. You can talk to me if you want.”

“What about?”

“Anything that’s troubling you. I’m here to help you, Robbie.”

I wasn’t sure where to start, but I thought I’d try.

“Symmonds thinks I’m trying to get off with Matthew, and he’s threatened to tell Don about my boyfriend, Nathan, who I think might have a drug problem.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I know. I slept with my sister’s friend and got her pregnant, and now I’ve got a crush on Rory. You remember him from the sailing lesson. I jerked off in his bathroom when he was asleep the other day.”

Hannah looked genuinely shocked. She let go of my hand and stared at me. “That’s disgusting. Is this true?”

I nodded. “All of it.”

“You got someone pregnant?”

“Stephanie. You might have seen her in school. She’s nearly five months now and huge.”

Hannah covered her face with her hands and stepped back as if scared of meeting the same fate.

“I’ve seen her. But how did it happen?”

“You’re kidding me, right? I touched her belly button. What do you think?”

Hannah wasn’t amused. She either lacked a sense of humour, or she had managed to reach fifteen without learning anything about human reproduction.

‘I thought I was bad.’

I didn’t expect these sordid revelations to deter her, but it wasn’t my problem anymore. I was done with these people. As far as I was concerned, I kept my word, and now I was free to go.

“Sorry I can’t stay for lunch, but I should go. My mom doesn’t trust me.”

“I’m not surprised.” She giggled and followed me to the edge of the property. “We can still give you a ride.”

“Nah. I need the exercise.”

“You look fit to me.” She smiled coyly. “I saw you without your shirt on the boat, remember?”

“I used to do a lot of swimming.” I stepped over the wall and scratched my head. I needed to ask her something before I left that couldn’t wait. “Does your dad drive a bus or something?”

“No, we have two cars.”

I nodded and smiled. “Makes sense. Can you do me a favour and tell Matthew I’m sorry? It’s important to me that he knows.”

She nodded. “You’re not coming back, are you?”

Hannah looked sad. It seemed ridiculous, considering I hardly knew her.

“No, but you can see me in school. Maybe we can have lunch together one day, and I’ll introduce you to my boyfriend.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She held out her hand for me to shake, but I ignored it and surprised her with a firm kiss on the lips that made her gasp and look around in panic.

“Was that your first kiss?”

“Yes.” She blushed and tentatively licked her lips.

“They say you always remember your first kiss.”