Odyssey - 64. Chapter 64

August 30, 1798

Aboard Dove

Winkler stood on the forecastle of the brig, watching as the water sprayed away from her bow as it sank into the sea. Dove was a courier brig, with a minimal crew. She only carried ten guns, and they were 12-pound carronades. It was just enough to frighten off a would-be pirate or privateer. It was a brisk night for the end of August, but Winkler was enjoying the fresh air up on deck. He had grown to appreciate Granger’s ships, where they tried hard to keep the bilges clean. Captain Clement of the Dove evidently did not share Granger’s concerns about cleanliness.

They’d been treated quite well, he and Jacobs, and had been given a cabin to share that was normally reserved for much more distinguished passengers. Winkler suspected that the instructions St. Vincent had sent over may have had something to do with that. The officers and men of Dove had largely left him and Jacobs alone, and that was just fine with Winkler. He enjoyed the man and his casual company, the way they could just sit together and talk of much, or talk of nothing.

Winkler knew he was grinning and chided himself for being an idiot. He was quite smitten with Jacobs, and it was all he could do not to make an idiot out of himself around the man. Winkler was an expert with a needle and thread, and with repairing clothes, something he’d had to learn working for Granger. Jacobs’ trousers had split a seam right in the groin, and he’d tried to sew them up himself, but Winkler had taken over and mended them for him, trying not to think at the bulge that must have caused the trousers to tear. When Jacobs had gone to attend to something else, Winkler had pulled the trousers to his nose, inhaling Jacobs’ scent, his masculine aroma, a smell that had fueled his masturbation fantasies ever since. Jacobs had his own special skill, in that he was quite good with carpentry, and with carving. He made Winkler a wooden box that could only be opened a certain way, one that he could put personal items in. He said it was his way of thanking Winkler for sewing up his pants, and his other articles of clothing, but Winkler thought he was quite sweet to do that.

And so, throughout their travels, they’d made little presents for each other. Jacobs had carved things for Winkler, and had even done a relatively good likeness of Granger so they could recall what he looked like. Winkler made Jacobs clothing, picking up various pieces of fabric where he could, and sewing it together in his spare time. He’d made Jacobs a very handsome tunic, and Jacobs had been so happy, he’d picked Winkler up and given him a big hug. The intimacy between them seemed to upset him, though, so he’d put Winkler down and been a little more aloof, but only for a bit. Winkler tried not to let things like that bother him, but he found that with Jacobs, it was difficult.

Winkler thought about the one previous relationship he’d had, his relationship with Jeffers. Winkler was the kind of man who when he was with someone, when he was committed to that person, he was wholly and completely committed. The only way Winkler would probably cheat on a partner is if someone else raped him. He truly was a loyal man. Jeffers was a different sort altogether. Jeffers viewed sex as something to be done as often as possible, and whenever the opportunity presented itself. In Jeffers’ mind, Winkler fancied, the only real advantage to having a partner was that it led to a regular supply of sex. It certainly didn’t preclude Jeffers from having sex with other people, Winkler thought with a scowl.

He didn’t trust his judgment with men, having been hurt so badly by Jeffers. He didn’t know if all men were like Jeffers, or if he was unique. He’d watched Granger with his lovers, and watched Granger endure the pain they’d caused, but Granger was in a class of his own. Granger was so handsome, and so charming, that he was truly irresistible. Winkler made himself blush as he thought of the times he’d sniffed Granger’s pants as well. His musky aroma was heavenly. But as desirable as Granger was, Winkler was not really attracted to him in that way. Their relationship was different, and in some ways deeper, than the relationship lovers had. It was built on mutual trust, on love, and on devotion. It was the most important relationship to Winkler.

So after watching Granger with his romantic trials and tribulations, and having experienced his own with Jeffers, Winkler was reluctant to allow another man into his life. He’d kept up his shields, and he’d kept largely to himself, but then Jacobs had shown up, and had knocked them down, one at a time. Winkler felt vulnerable and scared, but he also felt excited and alive. Only Jacobs had shown nothing in the way of romantic feelings toward him, at least as far as Winkler could see. He didn’t see the special gifts that Jacobs made as having meaning in that way.

“I wondered where you had gone,” Jacobs said, jarring Winkler from his thoughts.

“The air below is foul, so I opted to pay for fresh air by putting up with cold temperatures,” Winkler said.

“You’re right about that,” Jacobs said. “You made a good trade.” He stood behind Winkler and grabbed the shrouds with his hands, and planted his feet wide apart to handle the motion of the ship, the effect making him spread-eagled. He used his arms to pull himself forward ever so slowly until he was touching Winkler’s back, but then it seemed like he was touching it too much, so he backed away. Only then Winkler’s back touched his chest again. Winkler must have moved back into him. Taking a huge chance, Jacobs moved forward again, so now he leaning into Winkler. He held his breath until he felt Winkler lean back into him.

Winkler tilted his head back and around so he could look at Jacobs. “You’re very warm,” he said with a cheeky smile.

“And you’re very soft,” Jacobs said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Winkler asked, pretending to be all outraged.

“It means that you’re not one hard muscle, like most men,” Jacobs said. “I like you like this.”

“I like you too,” Winkler said, then got nervous, as if afraid that he’d said too much.

“Good,” Jacobs said, to reassure him. They stood there looking ahead, with Winkler leaning back into Jacobs’ strong body, so his chest was pressing against Winkler’s back. “So what do you think you’ll do when you get back to England?” Jacobs asked.

“I’ll hire a passage for us to London and we’ll deliver these letters to Lady Granger,” Winkler said, thinking of his mission.

“I mean after that.”

Winkler shrugged. “I am happy in His Lordship’s service, so I expect that is where I will remain.” He swallowed hard, realizing for the first time that Jacobs may not feel the same way, and that he may have different plans. “What about you?”

“Before I met His Lordship, I would have said that I’d sail around until I got enough money to maybe buy a farm and settle down. Maybe find someone to share my life with.” He meant a wife, Winkler thought, and fought back the tears of disappointment that threatened to emerge.

“What about now?” Winkler asked.

“Now, I’m happy as I am. As long as His Lordship has a place for me, I plan to stay with him. No one’s ever done for me what he has. I’m surprised he didn’t shoot me in Valdivia when I wouldn’t sign on, but instead, he explained things to me, helped me understand that you can’t carry grudges. He keeps giving me chances to prove myself, to do better, and he encourages me when I do. Hell, I’m used to being told I’m dumb as a board and clumsy as an ox. His Lordship is always there to tell me what I’m good at.”

“He’s helped you find confidence,” Winkler summarized. He leaned back into Jacobs more, letting himself fall into this man, and for this man. He was about to stop himself, and to pull away, when Jacobs gave out a sigh of contentment to show Winkler that he was glad he was so close. So Winkler savored the moment.

“He has,” Jacobs agreed.

“Did I ever tell you how I came to be in His Lordship’s service?” Winkler asked. He doubted that he had; he rarely shared that story with people.

“I don’t believe you did.”

“I was a ship’s boy aboard the Barracuda when Lord Granger was a midshipman. It’s funny to think about what he was like back then, so full of wonder and confusion at being aboard a ship. But he learned fast.”

“I can well imagine,” Jacobs said. He personally thought Granger was brilliant.

“We were in action with a French frigate, and I took some splinters in my leg. The doctor on board Barracuda was a corrupt old hack, and was starving us down on the orlop. I was so hungry; I didn’t know what to do. So I crawled back up to my mess, to see if they’d share their food with me.”

“What an asshole,” Jacobs said angrily, referring to the doctor.

“Aye,” Winkler agreed. “The men thought it would be fun to tease me, so they were tossing pieces of bread at me on the deck.”

“These were your shipmates?” Jacobs asked, really outraged.

“They were just having some fun, and I knew that when they were done, they’d take care of me,” Winkler said. Some of them would have taken care of him in different ways, but Winkler had studiously avoided becoming a ship’s boy whore. “Only Lord Granger didn’t think it was funny at all. He found us and scared the living piss out of those boys. They were expecting to be crafting their own cat.”

“He didn’t have them flogged?”

“No,” Winkler said. “He helped me down to the gunroom and made them give me a plate of food, and then the entire gunroom divided up their dinner so there was enough food for all the boys down on the orlop. Then Lord Granger went and told the First Lieutenant what happened, and the next thing you know, the Captain himself came to visit me in the gunroom.”

Jacobs whistled at that. Captains didn’t usually cavort in the gunroom. “That’s unusual.”

“It is. When we made port, I got off the ship and was robbed. I was there in Portsmouth, with no money, with nothing. I couldn’t barely walk, my leg hurt so bad. I was only eleven years old. All I could do was beg to try and get enough money to eat,” Winkler said. Remembering the hopelessness of those times upset him so he was almost sobbing. Jacobs let go of the shroud with his right hand and wrapped that arm around Winkler, pulling him closer.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly into Winkler’s ear. “What happened then?”

“I was standing there, despondent, when this old beggar came up and started arguing with me, telling me that I was on his corner. Well, I wasn’t taking that from him, so I argued back, and we was going back and forth until I heard a familiar voice. It was Lord Granger. He said ‘Winkler! What are you doing here?’” Jacobs chuckled at Winkler’s imitation of Granger’s voice. “I told him what happened to me, and he simply said ‘come on, you’re with me’, and then he made me sit in the carriage with him and Lieutenant Travers so I didn’t get cold. It was December.”

“I’ll bet December is cold in England,” Jacobs said with dread.

“It is,” Winkler agreed. “He took me to London, and got a doctor, a real doctor, to fix my leg. And when he went back to sea, he took me with him. I’ve been with him ever since. That was in 1791, so almost seven years now.”

“No wonder you are so devoted to him. I would never want to take you away from him,” Jacobs said, a stream of consciousness that he regretted immediately. Winkler turned his head and looked back at him, confused. “So you don’t want to settle down, to find someone to love?” Jacobs asked, trying to cover up his major slip.

“I didn’t say that,” Winkler said. “I just said that I planned to stay with His Lordship.” Jacobs seemed to realize that he still had his right arm around Winkler’s chest, hugging him, and he made to let go, but Winkler stopped him. “I like it like this, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Jacobs said, and he was grinning. “So this person you’re looking to fall in love with, what would that person be like?”

“I didn’t say I was looking for someone to fall in love with,” Winkler said.

“You’re not?” Jacobs asked.

“I didn’t say that either,” Winkler teased.

“Well which is it?” Jacobs asked, and actually sounded a little frustrated.

“I want to be with someone who loves me, and truly cares about me. That person has to be loyal, and devoted. I’ll not tolerate a man who goes out whoring about,” Winkler said, and only when he finished his sentence did he realize how badly he’d screwed up.

“A man?” Jacobs asked. Winkler made to run away, to flee, but Jacobs held him tightly. “Settle down. It’s a good thing.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Winkler objected, truly horrified. He wanted so badly to escape, to flee down to the bowels of this ship and hide, even though the stench would be horrible, and there would be rats chewing at his shoes.

“I was hoping it was,” Jacobs said. He moved his hand slightly so it was over Winkler’s left nipple and flicked it gently through the material of his tunic, getting a giggle from Winkler.

“So tell me about this person who you want to find,” Winkler said.

“I already found him,” Jacobs said. “He’s cute, a little short, and kind of scrawny even, but what he lacks for strength on the outside, he more than makes up for it on the inside. He does little things to show me that he cares about me, like sewing up my clothes and making me new ones, and I get the feeling that he kind of likes me, even if he won’t admit it.”

Winkler gripped Jacobs’ right arm tightly, hugging it to himself. “I already met my man too.”

“Oh yeah?” Jacobs teased. “What’s he like?”

“He’s tall and handsome, and even when he’s been working all day, he still smells good,” Winkler said. “And he does little things to show me that he cares, only he works with wood, and carves things or crafts things for me. He’s as strong on the outside as he is on the inside, and when he’s near me, he makes me feel safe, and loved.”

Jacobs leaned down and nuzzled Winkler’s neck, kissing him behind his ear, eliciting a soft moan in response. “I’m thinking we could risk the smell and go back to our cabin, and you can show me the scar from your wound.”

Winkler turned around and looked Jacobs in the eye. “As long as you don’t mind seeing me naked.”

“I’d see you naked all the time if I had my way,” Jacobs said. They separated physically and adjusted their erections in case they ran into someone, then scurried back to their cabin. Jacobs took one of their blankets and laid it on the deck.

“What’s that for?” Winkler asked.

Jacobs pulled Winkler to him forcefully and kissed him. It was awkward at first, as they both tried to figure out how the other one kissed, and then to match their movements, but they worked it out quickly enough. “Because I’m going to make love to you, and I’ve wanted this for so long, I may get a little carried away. A cot makes a lot of noise, but if we’re on the deck, it will be quieter.”

Winkler was crazed with lust. He pulled off his tunic and his shirt, then dropped his trousers, kicking them off, so he was standing naked in front of this man he had fallen hopelessly in love with. “Do I look alright?” Winkler asked self-consciously.

Jacobs chuckled. “You are so beautiful,” he said, and kissed Winkler again, only this time it was even better. He pulled Winkler to him and let his hands slide down his smooth back to his cute little ass. God, he had a cute ass. So small, with two spongy little cheeks, just enough to act as a shock absorber when he was being fucked really hard. Winkler moaned into his mouth, then backed away and put his hands on his hips, insisting that Jacobs undress too.

Jacobs reached out and grabbed Winkler’s hard cock, which was a good size, probably about six inches long and pretty thick. It looked even bigger on such a small guy. Jacobs pulled off his clothes until he was standing there naked as well. His torso bulged with muscles, and the hair on his chest and abdomen announced to any who saw it that he was all man. His legs were just as big, like tree trunks, while his dick stood out, hard and erect, begging for attention. Winkler smiled and reached forward to stroke it, marveling at how perfect it was. It was as long as his, maybe even a little longer, but it was thin, probably no thicker than two fingers, maybe one and a half. “It’s not real big,” Jacobs said self-consciously.

“It is perfect,” Winkler said. He dropped to his knees and inhaled it, bobbing up and down on Jacobs’ long thin cock, taking it deep, so deep that he choked. Winkler did that, because he could tell Jacobs liked that, and because when he did that, he got to bury his nose in Jacobs’ groin, and inhale his scent. This time it wasn’t some second-hand sniff from his trousers; this was the genuine article, the real aroma that wafted up from his big testicles.

“Careful,” Jacobs said, “you’ll bring me off.” Winkler said nothing, but increased his efforts, as his plan was to do just that. Jacobs let out a muffled moan and began to shoot his load into Winkler’s mouth. Winkler made sure that some of Jacobs’ cum stayed near his mouth, so he could taste it, but he let the rest of it blast down his throat. “Holy shit,” Jacobs said, and collapsed onto his cot.

“You liked that?” Winkler asked, being cocky.

“I liked that a lot,” Jacobs said. “Come here.”

Winkler climbed into the cot with Jacobs and snuggled up to his hairy chest, and even though he was incredibly horny, he was content to be right where he was. Jacobs was so warm he was like a furnace, radiating enough heat to make Winkler feel warm, truly warm. “That was fun.”

Jacobs chuckled. “More for me than for you.”

“No,” Winkler said. “I enjoyed it just as much as you. Believe me.”

“That’s good to know,” Jacobs said. “There was another man in your life.”

“What do you mean?” Winkler asked.

“You loved someone else before you loved me.”

“I don’t recall saying that I love you,” Winkler said, shooting Jacobs his cute grin.

Jacobs said nothing, but just nodded. Such a masculine gesture. “Well, maybe you didn’t say it, but I think you do. But just so there’s no confusion, I’m telling you, here and now, Joshua Winkler, that I love you.”

Winker stared at him and blinked, the blink causing a tear to fall down his cheek. “And I love you, Caleb Jacobs,” he swore.

Jacobs’ cock was recovering from that amazing blow job, and growing as it did. He thrust his hips up a bit, rubbing it against Winkler’s skin. “I think it’s time for me to make love to you, and that means we’re going to get on that blanket.”

Winkler swallowed hard. He was so turned on; it was miracle he didn’t just ejaculate on the spot. He loved being with a man who would take charge in bed, who would be forceful and powerful, but also loving and kind. He’d experienced the first three with Jeffers, but never the last two. Jacobs read him like a book, and pushed him onto the blanket, face down. “I should have gotten some sort of lubricant,” Winkler said, thinking of Granger’s lanolin.

“Won’t need it,” Jacobs said, as he ran his hands across Winkler’s cute little ass. He kneaded the soft spongy cheeks, moving his face closer and closer to Winkler’s cute little hole. His pucker was winking at Jacobs, almost making him giggle. Winkler felt Jacobs’ nose replace his fingers, as he used the tip of it to gently flit up and down Winkler’s crack, poking it playfully at Winkler’s hole. Winkler thanked God he’d taken time tonight to really clean himself off well.

Then Winkler felt something absolutely heavenly. He let out a soft moan as Jacobs’ tongue replaced the tip of his nose, and began to work its way up and down Winkler’s crack. When he got to Winkler’s hole, he took his time, rimming the edge, and then probed deeper, leaving copious amounts of saliva in his wake. Winkler was Jell-O, lying there on the blanket, squirming in ecstasy, wanting this to go on forever because it felt so good, but also wanting it to end so he could get fucked.

Jacobs finally pulled up and spit on his hand, then rubbed that on his dick, doing that enough times to get himself pretty slick, then, he draped his body over Winkler’s, letting Winkler feel himself being smashed to the deck by all of Jacobs’ weight, so Winkler would know he was about to be taken by a strong and dominant man.

Using one hand to lift his body up, Jacobs used the other to line his dick up with Winkler’s hole. Gently he thrust in, pausing to spit on his hand and rub more on his dick and Winkler’s ass for lubricant. Winkler sighed and moaned as he felt Jacobs enter him, and slide in so easily. Winkler had never been able to take Jeffers’ massive cock without copious amounts of lube, but here he was, handling Jacobs just fine, with merely saliva for lubricant.

Jacobs began to thrust into Winkler slowly, even as he nuzzled Winkler’s neck. “You feel so good,” Jacobs cooed. “I’ve been dreaming about this, about making love to you, ever since I met you. It’s even better than the dream. So much better.”

Winkler moaned, almost too loudly, and then got himself back under control after remembering where they were. Jacobs pulled out of him, flipped him over onto his back, pushed his legs back roughly, and drove his cock back into Winkler. He bent Winkler almost double so he could kiss him, even as he began to really pound him.

Winkler didn’t just lie there, he couldn’t just lie there, his body responded on its own, undulating back into Jacobs as urgently as Jacobs thrust into him, matching his moves, and his desire. Winkler had never given himself to another man like this, so fully and so completely, and he felt all of his controls dissipating as he did.

Only Jacobs felt it too, felt them merging physically, felt them totally uniting. He planted his mouth firmly over Winkler’s to stifle Winkler’s screams and moans, and hoped it would be enough, even though at that point in time they were both too keyed up to care all that much. Winkler felt his body responding, and wrapped his arms around Jacobs’ back, urging him on and holding him at the same time, and then, without stroking his dick at all, he came, erupting all over his own chest, and Jacobs’.

Jacobs clamped down on Winkler’s mouth and let him scream into his throat, nursing him through what had to be an earth-moving orgasm, and then he had his own. As amazing as the blow job that Winkler had given him had been, this was just that much better. He felt his cock expand and then explode, blasting his wad deep into Winkler’s bowels. Jacobs thought to himself as he came that there was no better feeling in the world than having sex with someone you loved, and who loved you back.

They separated slowly, and then got worried that they’d made too much noise, so they quickly cleaned up their cabin and put their clothes back on. That initial paranoia faded quickly enough, and in no time, they were back in the same cot, holding each other, kissing each other, and talking to each other.

“You were with someone before,” Jacobs said, bringing them back to that topic.

Winkler looked at him dubiously, but then sighed. If he was going to make this work, he was going to have to be open and honest. “How did you know?”

“I could just tell. When we started to make love, you were really uptight, like you thought it was him. Then when you realized it was me, you got into it.”

Jacobs had picked up on Winkler’s angst over Jeffers, but that’s not why. “I was uptight when we first started because I had to get used to you. What, have you only been with sluts? You’ve got a nice cock. It’s wonderful when it’s in, but I had to adjust to it.” Jacobs grinned and blushed in the cutest way, responding to Winkler’s praise of his manhood.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Jacobs said, suddenly concerned.

“You didn’t hurt me, I just had to adjust to it,” Winkler said. “And besides, it’s been a long time since I’ve done that. Too damn long.”

“The last time was with him?” Jacobs asked.

Winkler nodded. “We were a bad match to begin with. He was Lord Granger’s coxswain.”

“Phillips?” Jacobs asked, stunned. “You don’t even like him.”

“It wasn’t Phillips; it was the coxswain before him. His name is Jeffers.”

“Why were you a bad match?”

Winkler sighed. “He was always thinking with his dick. Any chance he had to fuck someone, man or woman, he took it. Didn’t matter to him how I felt, all that mattered was that he got off. So I’d be aboard the ship and catch him in compromising positions with the odd sailor or marine, and I’d just ignore it. And I’d see him exchanging knowing glances with other men, and I’d ignore it. Only I couldn’t ignore it inside.”

“So why did you stay with him?” Jacobs asked.

“I thought that in his own way, he loved me. I told myself that he was too active for me to satisfy, and that he needed these other people to keep his dick happy. I figured that they were just fucks, but that when he was with me, we made love.”

“But it wasn’t like that?”

Winkler shook his head. “He is very well endowed. He can put some horses to shame.” Jacobs laughed at that to hide his discomfort at finding that Winkler’s former boyfriend had a huge cock. “You mentioned that I was tense at first.”

“Yes,” Jacobs said, to encourage Winkler.

“When I was with him, it took me a while to adjust, and he didn’t treat me like you did. He didn’t help me get ready like you did. So the first minute was usually very painful. After that, I was numb, and then finally it felt good,” Winkler said. A tear fell out of his eye as he thought about how unsatisfying his love life with Jeffers had been.

“I’m sorry,” Jacobs said lovingly.

“That was one benefit to him being with other people,” Winkler said bitterly. “If he’d done that before we had sex, been with someone else, he’d last long enough that I could enjoy it. If he hadn’t, he’d be finished before I was over the pain.”

“So how did it end?” Jacobs asked.

“We went ashore after Belvidera was paid off, and he went to fix up this abbey Lord Granger had inherited. It’s where His Lordship lets his sailors stay when he doesn’t have a ship. It’s five miles south of London. I was tending to His Lordship, while Jeffers was tending to a local farm girl.”

“That’s too bad,” Jacobs said sympathetically.

Winkler shrugged. “He got her pregnant, and her father demanded that they marry, so he did. He offered to fuck me once in a while, on the side. I guess that’s when the reality came through to me. That’s when I decided that if I did this again, let myself fall in love with another man; I wasn’t putting up with that shit. His dick is mine. Period.”

Jacobs laughed, and then kissed Winkler lovingly. “My dick is completely yours.”

“Good,” Winkler said. “You can have my ass.”

“It’s a beautiful ass,” Jacobs said.

Winkler thought about that, then got curious. “I never even asked you if you liked to be fucked.”

Jacobs shrugged. “Never been fucked. Might be fun. I’d try it with you.”

“You would?” Winkler asked. For some reason, he never thought a guy who was with him would want Winkler to fuck him.

“Why not. You seemed to like it.”

“I definitely like it,” Winkler said. “What about you? You have a string of lovers in your wake?”

Then Jacobs got nervous, and Winkler got nervous, which made Jacobs get even more nervous. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Winkler asked, full of dread.

“I’m married,” Jacobs said. “I’ve got a wife back in New York.”