The Cockney Canuck - 42. Chapter 42 Birthday Boy

After getting home from school on Tuesday, Sue led me upstairs to Nicola’s room where I stood next to her and waited, head bowed for the door to open.

“Robbie has got something to say to you,” she said, to a very smug looking Nicola who stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “Haven’t you dear?” She prodded me in the ribs and I glanced up briefly, trying to avoid any eye contact with the girl who had quickly become my sworn enemy.

“Oh…err…yeah,” I said, “I’m sorry for telling you to FUCK OFF!”

I actually think that Nicola found it quite funny, but Sue’s face quickly turned red with anger, as she pushed me back towards the stairs.

“Okay,” she said, “that’s it, go back to your room and stay there until I say you can come out. I’ve had about enough of your smart remarks.”

“I said I was sorry, didn’t I?” I protested, but as I skipped down the stairs to the basement I had a wry smile on my face.

‘She asked for that one’.

Once inside my room I slammed the door shut behind me and sat on the bed.

‘Great, now not only am I grounded, but I’m stuck in the bedroom. I need to be careful, or I’ll end up in the bloody broom cupboard’.

Frustrated and bored, but confident that I was unlikely to be disturbed, I undressed, Daniel style, down to my briefs, before lying face down on the bed. Maybe it was the thrill that I got from pushing my luck, or maybe it was simply because I hadn’t managed to jerk off for a few days, but whatever the reason, I was suddenly feeling decidedly horny. I rocked my groin gently up and down on the bed and then pulled down the front of my underwear so that I could free up my rapidly growing todger.

It was the first week of May and after a cold spell, it was starting to get a lot warmer. Nice enough weather for Daniel to flaunt his freedom in front of me by joining Doug and Billy at the local skateboard park. It was an activity that I had never had the opportunity to try, but had always wanted to and for all the wrong reasons. As far as I was concerned, there was no better place to feast my eyes on some prime teenage eye candy, than the local skateboarding ramps. Boy skaters were fit, hot and sexy, even if they were all straight and with the personality of a dead fish. It was a sweeping statement, I know, but I was always willing to be proved wrong.

I would have to wait now, at least until next week, for the opportunity to make a fool of myself on a skateboard and I laughed at the thought, as I prepared myself for the task in hand. The only material that I would need for this job, was available in abundance, as I pictured the sweet, angelic, but always slightly naughty looking face that belonged to the boy of my dreams.

It was a risk, because it was still quite early and I knew that everyone except Daniel was indoors. With no lock on the door and my bed positioned so that it was usually the first thing that you saw when it opened, it had danger written all over it. It was the fear of getting caught however, that seemed to pump the adrenaline inside of me and raise the level of excitement to a higher level, as I turned onto my back and settled into an all too familiar rhythm.

Then the phone rang!

I ignored it at first, hoping that whoever it was, would hang up, but as it diverted to voice mail, I struggled to continue. My train of thought had been interrupted and I was curious to find out who had called, so without moving, I managed to reach out and retrieve my cell, just as it started to ring again.

I looked at the screen and panicked. Nathan. I had been meaning to call him to let him know that I wasn’t going to be able to go to his birthday party, but each time I got up enough courage to call, I had chickened out at the last minute. I cursed his timing, but knew that I couldn’t put it off any longer, so I answered, trying hard to steady my breathing.

“Hey Robbie, I just left a message on your answerphone, what’s up dude?”

“Oh sorry mate, I left my phone downstairs,” I said.

“You sound outta breath,” he said, laughing and it made me smile too, as I let go of my dick and pulled my briefs up to cover myself. “Did you run downstairs?”

“Yeah something like that,” I said. “Actually, I was just thinking about you.” I had a naughty smile on my face that somehow, I was sure he could read.

“Really? Tell me more.”

“Well, I was just thinking that I should call you, that’s all,” I said.

“I guess I beat you to it then.”

“You can beat me anytime,” I mumbled quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t hear.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh okay, well guess what?”

“What?”

“I saw you today, but you didn’t see me.”

“Oh, when was that?” I was intrigued.

“Some cute boy was throwing his balls at you and you were trying to catch them,” he said.

“That sounds like me, I was playing baseball right?”

“Yeah,” he said, “and I was watching you from my English class.”

“Really? I hope you were impressed.”

“Well you weren’t very good at it, but you looked kinda cute in the uniform.’

“Charming,” I said, “but I bet you say that to all the boys.”

“Yes,” he said, “I do, but you’re the only one who doesn’t run away.”

“Yeah right, I don’t believe that. There must be plenty of boys out there who fancy you rotten.”

“Well they need to step up to the plate, dear boy,” he said in a very plausible English accent.

“Very good,” I said, “and you managed to get a baseball reference in there too.”

“Yeah, I’m practicing my jokes for the party.” We laughed and then there was an awkward moment as I took a deep breath and prepared myself to break the news to him.

“Nathan, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it dude, is something wrong?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, “I’ve got a problem and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a couple of days.”

‘Just tell him, for fuck’s sake’.

“What?”

“I can’t come,” I said, almost in a whisper.

“You can’t what?”

“I said, I can’t come.”

“Oh…err…really?” There was a long pause, as I waited for his response. “I…err…don’t know if you’re telling the right person here Robbie, maybe you should talk to your doctor about it.”

“Sorry?”

“I don’t know what to say dude, I mean I’ve never had that problem,” he said and he was deadly serious.

“Wait…no, that’s not…oh my God!”

“Have you tried a hot bath, that usually works?” he said and I was blushing so hard that I could barely talk.

“Nathan. Bloody hell mate, I didn’t mean that I couldn’t…well you know. I’ve never had any trouble doing that,” I said.

“Oh,” he said, “good for you, but I don’t get it.”

“Shit. I don’t believe that you really thought I was telling you that…oh whatever. The problem is, I can’t come to your birthday party,” I said, “I’m really, really sorry.”

“You can’t, why?”

“I’ve been grounded,” I said, “I got into trouble on Saturday and I’m not allowed out for the rest of the week.”

“What happened, was it at the game?”

“No…no it was after that, on Saturday night, I was drinking and they found out.”

“Drinking, you mean alcohol?”

“Yeah beer and I guess I got a little drunk.”

“You did, how many did you have?”

“I dunno, five or six, they were strong though and I’ve never drunk that many before.” I could hear him giggling, which had to be a good thing, it lightened the mood a little and made me feel more at ease. I had no idea how he would react to this story, but I wasn’t expecting him to find it funny. I didn’t even know what his views on drinking were or if my antics would change his perception of me.

“I’ve never been drunk before,” he said, “I don’t really like beer.”

‘Does that mean he doesn’t approve? He probably thinks I’m an idiot or a loser’.

“Well you’re really not missing much,” I said, “I was sick all day on Sunday and even yesterday, I still felt really bad.” It was an exaggeration, but I felt that I needed to try to show some kind of remorse.

“Oh you poor thing,” he said, “you might have had alcohol poisoning.” At first I thought that he was being sarcastic and my heart sank at the thought of being ridiculed by the person who I would have gone to any length to try to impress.

‘Did he mean that, is he really sorry that I was sick’?

“That’s exactly what I had, apparently that’s what a hangover is, alcohol poisoning and I had it pretty bad. That’s why I couldn’t call you…well that and the fact that I just didn’t want to have to tell you that I messed up…again.” If I were expecting him to reassure me that I hadn’t messed up, then it didn’t happen and there was an uneasy silence as he obviously put together the pieces of the puzzle in his mind. There were some important bits still missing, which I would have been happy to leave out, but I could understand his curiosity and his next question was about as obvious as they get.

“So where were you, did you guys go someplace after the game, was you at Rory’s house?”

“No…I went over to Fran’s house,” I said, “we went over there to talk. I needed to tell her about me…I mean tell her everything.”

“Oh I see,” he said and he made no attempt to hide his disappointment.

“The good thing is, she believes me know,” I said, “it’s over between us, we’re just friends now, honestly.”

“I believe you Robbie,” he said, but he didn’t sound too happy about it. There was another uneasy silence and I think that we were both waiting for the other one to say something. I had apologized all I could, there was very little more that I could do without sounding desperate, which of course I was. The mere thought that he may be disappointed or think badly of me, would have been worse than any punishment that could have been handed out by adopted parents. Worst of all though were the dark thoughts that lingered deep in the back of mind that I couldn’t supress. The nightmare scenario where he would decide that in the end, I probably wasn’t worth all the hassle and call it a day. Having been so close to the ultimate prize, only to fall at the last hurdle, through nothing more than my own stupidity, would have been utterly devastating and impossible for me to accept. The stakes for me had never been higher and the fear of losing never more terrifying, but it was impossible for me to know how he was thinking.

“So are you gonna come out now?” his voice was slow and quiet, but he sounded concerned and a little apprehensive.

“No, I don’t think I can do that yet,” I said.

“And Fran isn’t gonna say anything?”

“I don’t think so,” I said, “well actually, I’m pretty sure she won’t.”

“How did you pull that one off?”

“I kinda managed to talk her into it,” I said. There was also the little matter of some nude modelling, but there was no way that I was ever going to allow him to find out about that.

“Over a few drinks, you mean.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“I think that you’re doing the right thing by not coming out,” he said and it took me a little by surprise.

“You do?”

“It would be difficult for you in that house, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

“I think you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

“Maybe we can meet up and go out someplace, when I’m allowed out again?”

‘Did I just ask him out on a date, is that what he’ll think’?

“Yeah sure, they’ll be plenty of other times, I have a birthday every year you know.”

‘What did he mean by that’?

“I wasn’t planning on waiting until next year,” I said.

“Neither was I dude.” There was another long silence. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you feel bad okay? It would have been fun if you could’ve made it, but it’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

‘It feels like it to me’.

“Well, I’m just sorry, okay?”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing to me dude. I like you, but it’s not as if I can’t have fun if you’re not there. You’re not my boyfriend. We’re cool…really.”

“Okay, look I gotta go now. We’ll talk later.” I wasn’t sure what I was saying at that point, I just wanted to get off the phone and end the conversation as quickly as possible. It was those four words that he spoke at the end that devastated me; hitting me like a ton of bricks. ‘You’re not my boyfriend’. I kept repeating them over and over in my head as I paced my room like a caged lion. It was perfectly true of course, we were no more than friends.

‘Actually, he’s not even my friend, he’s Daniel’s friend. His best friend. They grew up together, like Tom and me. I’ve only known him for a few months. I’ve never been to his house or spent any time alone with him, other than the bloody bus stop. Maybe I’ve been making too much of this and looking for something that isn’t there or worse still, was there, but isn’t anymore’?

My stomach churned and I actually began to feel physically sick as I attempted to replay our conversation and dissect it as if trying to break the enigma code. It was those fateful four words though, that kept coming back to me, haunting me for the rest of the evening and well into the night as I struggled for some sleep.

It had been a bad day at the office; the only bright spot being the first part of Nathan’s call, when we had laughed and flirted with each other.

‘I can’t believe that he thought I was asking for his advice on wanking. That was so embarrassing. And what was that he said about a hot bath, was he serious? Maybe I should try that. I haven’t had a bath in years’.

We were getting good at that, developing our own kind of rapport, but that was before I ruined everything as usual. His tone had been decidedly different afterwards. The spark, which had always been there whenever we talked, had suddenly vanished, replaced with obvious disappointment and bland words that offered no real encouragement.

* * * * *

On Thursday morning I woke, showered and dressed before Daniel had so much as lifted an eyelid. I was sitting at my desk when he stumbled past me, still half asleep and obviously confused about why I was ready so early.

It was Nathan’s birthday and even though I would be missing his party later that day, I wanted to be the first of his friends to contact him. I had no idea what time he usually got out of bed and if he was anything like me then he probably wouldn’t be in the mood for talking so early, so I decided that a simple text message would be the best option.

‘Happy Birthday mate; see you in school X’. I had spent most of Daniel’s shower time, deciding whether or not to add the kiss at the end of my simple message. I was worried in case anyone else saw it, but when it was nearly time to go, I pressed send anyway, hoping that my dithering hadn’t cost me the chance of first place in the list of birthday wishes. It took him less than a couple of minutes to reply and unlike me, Nathan obviously had no problem at all in giving out kisses, even if they were wrapped in a text.

New text from Nathan. ‘Thanks Robbie XX’. Two kisses from the boy of my dreams on his birthday and it was enough to send me to school that day feeling slightly better than the day before.

I saw him as expected at lunchtime when Daniel and I went over to join him at an already overcrowded table. I had to make do with a seat next to Ginny, but at least I managed to have some kind of contact with him on his birthday, even if it was across a table.

They were talking about a new American movie called ‘Date Night’ which was being released shortly in Canada. Apparently, it was a romantic comedy come thriller, but I had never heard of it before and Daniel quickly laughed it off as a boring chick flick. I guessed that he wasn’t up for it and seen as I was currently grounded indefinitely, it left Nathan firmly in the possessive grasp of his ever-present companion Ginny. I already knew of course that he was a regular cinema goer and Ginny it seemed was his companion for most of his nights out. I didn’t like the way that she hogged him and I was beginning to see why Daniel hated her so much, but it could have been a lot worse. The one thing that made their friendship acceptable, to me at least, was the fact that she wasn’t packing a dick between her legs, although nobody I ever spoke to could actually verify that.

* * * * *

By the time I had made it home from my extra class that afternoon, Daniel had already left to go to Nathan’s party. I walked into the kitchen to report home to Sue, before slumping into a seat at the dining table. My body language made it clear that I wasn’t happy and she knew the reason why.

“Why don’t you stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the most of having some time alone without Daniel around?” I had no idea what she meant by that statement, but I was certain that she wasn’t thinking along the same lines as I was.

“Is it okay if I have a bath tonight,” I said, “I could do with a long hot soak to relax.” I knew that such a request was never going to be a problem, so after dinner I took my towel upstairs, to see if there was any truth in Nathan’s claim. I rarely, if ever used the upstairs bathroom and it was unusual to see me on the first floor at all. That was Nicola’s domain and sure enough, I bumped into her on my way in.

“What are you doing up here?” she said as we faced each other in the hallway.

“I’m having a bath, if that’s okay with you,” I said, as I pushed past her.

“Well make sure you clean up afterwards,” she said, “there’s a spray bottle on the side, you have to….”

I cut her off by shutting the door in her face, before going about my business and nearly an hour later, emerged feeling cleaner and a lot more relaxed than when I entered. I scampered downstairs wearing Nicola’s pink fluffy bathrobe, which I had found hanging on the back of the door and I would have got away with it too, if she hadn’t of walked out of the kitchen at the same time as I passed.

“Why are you wearing my robe?” she said, clearly annoyed. “Mom, can you tell him to leave my stuff alone?”

“I’m only borrowing it for a second,” I said, “you wouldn’t want me walking around the house naked, would you?”

“Yuk, that’s gross,” she said, “make sure you put it in the laundry basket afterwards.”

‘Bloody hell, I’m not going to make it dirty. I’ve just got out of the bath for fucks sake’.

“Whatever,” I said, but she followed me downstairs into the family room, where Amy turned away from the TV to laugh at me.

“You look funny Robbie,” she said and I smiled. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I actually thought that I looked quite cute in pink.

“I hope you cleaned the bath afterwards,” said Nicola.

“Don’t worry,” I said, turning on her as I reached the bedroom. “I made sure to squirt it all over the tub when I finished, just like you said.” She looked a little confused by my statement and narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously, as I smiled and for the second time in an hour, slammed the door in her face.

* * * * *

“Did you enjoy your bath honey?” asked Sue over dinner.

“Oh yes thanks Sue,” I said, “it was really enjoyable.”

“you were in there long enough,” said Nicola.

“Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t realize that you were timing me. I’ll see if I can do it any quicker next time.” Don laughed, but Nicola just stared at me from across the table and I wondered if she had worked out my double entendres, or was I the only one with a filthy mind.

After dinner, I made a point of sticking around the kitchen and made tea for everyone, while Nicola and Sue cleared the table. Making the tea was normally Daniel’s job, but in his absence, I was anxious to show my worth to a family that was clearly beginning to wake up to my unruly antics. I wanted to prove to them that I was genuinely remorseful for my behaviour at the weekend, so that they would consider cancelling my punishment and lifting my house arrest. Other than my shambolic attempt at an apology on Tuesday, which had only served to get me into even more trouble, I had yet to formally say sorry to Nicola for swearing at her. This had been one of the conditions that I had been told I would have to meet, before being granted freedom again, but nothing more had been said about it and I wasn’t about to remind them either.

Sometime after nine, Don left to pick up Daniel while I passed the time tidying the bedroom. It wasn’t an attempt at scoring more brownie points, but a regular chore that I generally chose to do, rather than live in the disorganized mess that Daniel seemed to thrive in. We had been sharing a room for over four months, but it still felt very much like his space and I wasn’t comfortable enough with the situation to be able to expect him to change his habits because of me. I often wanted to, but somehow it still seemed wrong for me to tell him what to do in his own bedroom. It was easier therefore, for me to take the initiative and straighten the place up as best as I could, whenever he wasn’t there. I never had to get the hoover out or do any dusting, that was always Sue’s prerogative, but I would do the things that would bother me, like picking up his discarded clothes and putting them in the laundry basket. I would then go around closing his drawers, putting away coat hangers, picking up video games and cd’s and returning empty plates and cups to the kitchen. He would usually thank me afterwards, telling me that he had been meaning to do it, but I don’t think that he ever understood my motives. It wasn’t really about him; it just made me feel better.

That day it also helped to take my mind off Nathan’s party, at least until the phone rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone to call, so I was both excited and nervous to see his name flash up on the display.

“How did it go; did you have a good time?”

“Yeah dude,” he said, “it was really awesome, Don just picked up Daniel. I gave him some birthday cake for you, hope you like.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh and thanks for the card.”

“Yeah well, Daniel bought it,” I said, “I just kinda signed it, but I would’ve got you something if I could’ve got out.”

“You don’t have to get me anything dude.”

“No Nathan,” I said as serious as I could. “I do and I will, okay? I wanna make it up to you. If you’ll let me that is.”

“You need to stop apologizing dude, it’s you who missed out, remember. Daniel told me that you were upset that you couldn’t go, so I was just calling to see if you were okay.” He was right of course and I started to wonder if I was making a bit of a fool of myself, by seeing too much into this. Something that wasn’t there and maybe never had been. At the back of my mind were those four words that he had used two days before, ‘you’re not my boyfriend’.

‘Will they haunt me forever’?

“Well thanks for calling,” I said, the excitement now drained from my voice.

“I called earlier,” he said, “but you didn’t pick-up and I thought that maybe you didn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“You did? I didn’t hear it. I wouldn’t have ignored you mate, honestly.” I tried to think why I would have missed his call and then it hit me. “Oh I must have been in the bath,” I said and started giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” I said, “I was just thinking about what you said the other day. You know…about taking a hot bath.”

“Oh my God,” he said, “that was so embarrassing. I shouldn’t be telling you my naughty secrets.” He gave me a cute little laugh and I was certain that he was blushing too. “But I’m glad that you managed to keep yourself…occupied shall we say.”

“Yeah, thanks for the tip,” I said and bit my lip nervously, unsure if I should be saying stuff like that to him.

“Too much information dude,” he said, but he was still laughing.

“Did you get any cool presents?” I asked, thinking it best to change the subject.

“Yeah, I got an awesome camera from my parents,” he said, “now I can start making my own videos, maybe put them on YouTube or something.”

“That would be neat,” I said, “you should definitely be on film mate.”

‘Did that sound a little pervy’?

“I gotta go dude,” he said, “people are leaving and I gotta say goodbye.” It sounded quite busy over the phone and I thought that I heard Ginny calling him, which was probably why he had to hang up. It made me feel good though that he had taken time out from his party to give me a quick call. He didn’t need to do that and it gave me a little hope, which had been missing earlier in the evening.

I tried to remain cheerful and was looking forward to seeing Daniel and hearing about the party and about how funny Nathan was, as always. When he got in, I took a seat opposite him at the dining table and he handed me the piece of birthday cake, which Nathan had thoughtfully sent me. It was in a little cardboard box and when I opened it, there was a single burnt out candle stuck in the top, which made me smile.

‘I wonder what he wished for’?

“So who was there?” I asked, “anyone I know, other than Ginny?”

“Yeah,” he said, “a few…and guess what?” Daniel smiled mischievously at me.

“What? I asked.

“I think Nathan’s found himself a boyfriend.”