The Cockney Canuck - 160. Chapter 160 The Pastor and the Easter Bunny

“Robbie has decided to attend the Easter service tomorrow.”

I was as surprised as everyone else when Don made this announcement as we sat down to dinner. He had a smug grin as he piled his plate with mashed potatoes and talked to Sue as if I weren’t there. As always, she was the last to arrive, taking her place at the opposite end of the table from her husband while looking at me for an explanation.

“Well, if that’s what you want, dear. I have no objections. Is there a reason for this?”

I glanced at Don expecting him to elaborate, but he hadn’t said a word to me since returning home, and now he wouldn’t even look in my direction.

“Yeah, I don’t want to be grounded,” I said, and Sue’s eyes turned back to her husband.

“He lost his temper this morning,” said Don. “Swearing and shouting at me in front of the pastor because I asked him not to fool around on the boat. It’s not acceptable behaviour. He has to learn that, so I’ve grounded him for two weeks.”

Sue looked troubled as she switched back to me for confirmation. “I see. Is this true?”

Don made it sound worse than it was, but I didn’t want to give him a reason to go back on the deal, so I nodded and stared at my plate.

“Kinda.”

Don scoffed at my half-hearted admission, while Sue looked disappointed.

“You didn’t mention this to me, dear.”

“I was gonna tell you, but you two have been arguing all afternoon.”

I was exaggerating; it was more of a disagreement. Sue wasn’t happy after Don tried to defend the pastor’s actions on the lake, seemingly showing little concern that two of his kids were in danger. He accused Sue of overreacting and stirring up trouble for the church by lodging a complaint with the coast guard.

“So, what has this got to do with you going to church, Robbie?”

“Well, the pastor said ….”

I was interrupted by Don’s gruff voice talking over me with impunity.

“Grounding him obviously isn’t working. So, the pastor suggested we give him the option of attending the church service instead. You never know; he may even learn something.”

“The pastor?” asked Sue.

“Yes. He called me at work.”

Sue glared at her husband, and the rest of us followed suit. My siblings and I were sitting between them, eagerly watching their heated conversation like fans at a tennis match.

“Since when has the pastor had a say in how our children are disciplined?”

“He was only trying to be helpful, dear. I thought it was a good idea. Nothing else seems to be working.”

“You should have talked to me first.”

“Fine. If you prefer him to be grounded for two weeks, I’m happy to go back to that, but it’s not working.”

‘No!’

I stopped chewing to stare at Sue. She was wrecking our agreement and threatening my social life.

“Two weeks is way too harsh,” said Sue.

“The boy was out of control,” said Don. “I’ve tried to reason with him, but he won’t listen.”

“So, you think making him attend church will solve the problem?”

“The pastor told me his behaviour improved when he started mixing with the kids from the congregation. He believes they can be a positive influence on him. Maybe even help to curb his temper.”

I looked at my hand to make sure I wasn’t invisible, then raised my arm to get someone’s attention. Finally, Sue acknowledged my presence.

“Yes, dear.”

“Isn’t it rude to talk about someone when they can hear you?”

Nicola smirked from across the table, and Daniel nudged my arm, but I had a point, and Sue duly apologised.

Don was less accommodating. “No, it isn’t rude, Robbie. Shouting and swearing at me in the street is rude.” His attempt to draw me into another argument was foiled by Sue, who jumped in quickly before I could say anything.

“Don. Please, this isn’t helping.”

“The boy must learn to respect his elders. We can’t make special allowances for him anymore. We already agreed on that.”

I was on the brink of leaving my dinner and storming off in a huff—a reaction that would have guaranteed me two weeks indoors—but Amy saved me. Her silent but goofy impression of her dad as he talked made me smirk, and I had to cover my mouth to avoid spraying the table with peas.

Unfortunately, my reaction alerted Don to her tomfoolery, and poor Amy was grounded for the remainder of the weekend.

“Now you’re being silly,” said Sue.

It was the first time my little sister had been grounded, but it was a futile punishment considering her limited social calendar. She looked defiantly at Don before crossing her eyes and poking her tongue at me.

We may have had different parents, but Amy and I were remarkably alike in many ways. Our personalities were similar, and there were times when I could read her mind. We shared the same sense of humour, a knack for getting under people’s skin, and a rebellious streak that was certain to get her into trouble in years to come.

I was still confused and looked to Sue for a decision. “So, can I go to church or not?”

“If you’ve agreed to this arrangement, then I guess it won’t hurt,” said Sue. “Maybe I should go too.”

Don looked surprised. “Well, of course. You’re always welcome.”

“Would you prefer it if I was there with you, dear?”

I smiled at Sue and nodded enthusiastically, while Don seemed unable to decide if this was good news or not.

“Why don’t we all go,” he said, rubbing his hands together and looking expectantly around the table at his children.

Nicola, Daniel, and Amy shook their heads in unison and began reeling off excuses.

“I’m studying with friends tomorrow,” said Nicola. “You wouldn’t want me to fail my exams, would you?”

“I promised to help Doug’s dad,” said Daniel. “It’s too late to let him down now.”

“I’m grounded,” said Amy. “Remember?”

I had to look away to stop myself from laughing. She was probably the only one telling the truth, but it didn’t save her. If Nicola and Daniel were going out, Amy would have to come with us, and her fate was sealed.

“So. It’s just the four of us then,” said Don. “I’ll get the pastor to save us seats at the front. He’ll be pleased to see you, dear.”

“I doubt it,” said Sue.

I kept my head down, but Don looked worried as he ploughed his way through a mountain of pork and mashed potato before swapping the dinner table for his favourite armchair and falling asleep.

*     *     *

‘If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.’ That was one of my mom’s favourite sayings, so the next day, I decided to take a leaf out of her book and wear my suit to church. It was an opportunity for me to dress up and re-visit my English school days.

The two years I spent at an English comprehensive taught me how to do one thing really well. I could tie a necktie in my sleep, and it always looked perfect.

“Well, what do you think?”

I stood next to Daniel’s bed and waited for him to lift his head. My brother was sprawled face down on top of his sheets in just a pair of Calvin Kleins, but he was only pretending to be asleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked me up and down.

“You’re overdressed.”

“No, I’m not.” I turned to look at myself in the mirror. “I used to have to dress like this for school every day in England.”

Daniel turned on his side and sneered at me. “You mean you had to wear a tie every day?”

“Yep, a shirt and tie, trousers, shoes, and a blazer. If it was hot, we could remove our blazers and wear short sleeves, but we had to keep our ties on until we got home. School policy.”

“That’s weird.”

“It seems weird to me too now, but at the time, it was perfectly normal.”

Daniel sat up on his bed, suddenly looking wide awake. “Do you still miss England?”

“Sometimes, I suppose, but mostly I don’t really think about it anymore.”

“Will you go back there when you’re eighteen?”

It was a question I used to ask myself all the time, but now not so much. I guess it was a no-brainer with Nathan, Rory, and all my family in Canada. Even Tom seemed like a distant memory. We hadn’t talked in weeks.

“Maybe for a holiday, but my life is here now.”

“I’m glad. I wouldn’t want you to go back.”

“Ah, that’s so sweet. You do love me, after all.”

“Whatever.” He fell back onto his bed, hugging his pillow. “Now, will you please go and let me get back to sleep?”

Despite our constant rivalry, Daniel could be very profound at times. I appreciated his vote of confidence, but he didn’t sound particularly tired. I suspected foul play and the devil in me took over. I left the room and counted to thirty before throwing open the door and marching back in. My brother jumped, released his dick, and rolled onto his side to face the wall before pulling his underwear up to cover his bare butt.

“I’m gonna tell Hannah what you were doing!”

“Fuck off!” He was fuming as he scrambled to his feet with his still erect penis tenting the front of his briefs like a wigwam. “I fucking hate you!”

“Make up your mind. I thought you loved me.”

“You can fuck off back to England!”

I laughed and then ran when he grabbed a hockey puck from his shelf and threw it at me. It hit the back of the door as I slammed it shut and hid behind the sofa in the family room.

I could still hear him cursing me from the bedroom, but it soon went quiet, so I guess my interruption didn’t disturb his concentration for very long. As I left, I knocked on the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

“I know what you’re up to!”

“Fuck off!”

Daniel rarely swore, so he must have been super pissed off and probably wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day, but what did he expect? Finding time alone in that room lately was rare, so it was obvious what he would do the moment I left.

‘At least he doesn’t have to go to church.’

While my brother was playing with his dick, Amy was busy searching the house for Easter eggs. She looked cute in a peach-coloured dress and gave me a quick twirl when we met on the landing.

“You look beautiful, Amy.”

“So do you,” she said and laughed before running downstairs to ransack the family room.

“Don’t go into our room, Amy. There are no Easter eggs in there, and Daniel’s asleep.”

She wasn’t allowed in our bedroom unless specifically invited, but under the circumstances, I thought it was prudent to remind her of the rules. I had this disturbing image of her walking in to find Daniel sucking his dick, and judging by what I just saw; he could probably do it.

“You look very smart,” said Sue as I entered the kitchen and hugged her. She was also dressed to impress, with a two-tone blue outfit and a white wide-brimmed hat that I snatched from her head. “Was that Daniel I heard swearing?”

“Yep, he won’t leave me alone. You should ground him.”

“You were probably bugging him,” said Sue.

I tried to look offended before posing for Nicola in Sue’s hat. “I like this.”

My sister laughed and took my picture. “You’re so gay.”

“I know.”

“You can borrow it if you want,” teased Sue, “but not today. I don’t think it’ll go down well with the congregation, do you?”

“Probably not,” I said, looking in the mirror and pouting. “But you never know. I might be able to lure one of the church boys into the washroom for a quick frolic.”

Sue slapped my arm. “That’s not funny, dear.”

“Who said I was joking.” Nicola thought it was amusing. Don, not so much. He gave me a disapproving look when he marched into the kitchen and caught me posing in Sue’s hat. “What? I was only having a laugh. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a hat like this.”

“Sometimes I wonder,” said Don.

“It’s the wrong colour for a start. Maybe in blue to match my tie.” I flashed Don a smile, then went outside to answer a call from Nathan.

It was unusual for my boyfriend to be up that early on a Sunday, but we had argued the night before after I told him I was going to Don’s church, and he called to apologise.

“I’m sorry I shouted at you last night.”

“And I’m sorry I called you a drama queen.”

“But I am, and I know I’m selfish for wanting you here all the time, but I miss sleeping with you. My bed’s lonely without you in it.”

He sounded like he was still half-asleep with that slightly croaky morning voice that was so cute.

“That’s sweet. I can come and see you this afternoon.”

“That’s the other reason why I called. Ginny invited us to her house this afternoon for an Easter party. She’s got some adult easter eggs.”

I had never been to an Easter party before and had no idea what an adult Easter egg was, but it sounded like fun, and if it was anything like her New Year’s Eve party, then it was bound to be a riot.

“Okay, I’m up for it.”

“You will be. You can come straight from the church if you like; bring your toy boy with you.”

“He’s not my toy boy, and I’m not going to turn up to Ginny’s wearing a suit.”

“Why not? I’m going as the Easter bunny.”

“No way.”

“I’ll send you a picture when I get dressed if you send me one of you in your sexy suit.”

“Are you still in bed?”

“Yes, and I’m naked.”

“Don’t say that, Nathan!” I had to be careful. I was wearing thin dress pants with a shirt that had to be tucked in. Even the slightest erection would show, and walking into church with a raging hard-on was not an option.

“Wait. Don’t you wanna know what I’m doing?”

“No!”

“I’m humping my pillow and thinking of you.”

“Fuck you, Nathan. You just made me hard.”

“Yes, please.”

“Stoppit!”

“I can’t.”

I squeezed my legs together and pressed the phone against my ear, mesmerised by the sound of Nathan’s rapid breathing. First my brother and now my boyfriend. Everyone was wanking except me.

Sue was signalling from the kitchen to tell me we had to leave. “I have to go now. Save it for later. Nathan. Hello.”

I was about to end the call when his dreamy voice whispered in my ear. “It’s too late. Sorry.”

*     *     *

The only other time I could remember going into a church was for my mom’s funeral, and memories of that horrible day came flooding back to me as I sat, trance-like, in the back of Don’s car. It probably didn’t even cross his mind, but Sue was more in tune with my emotions. She must have known the reason for my sudden sombreness, and as we walked through the main doors, she grabbed my hand just like she did back then and held it until we passed through the foyer.

Any stubborn doubts that may have lingered in the darkest depths of my mind about Sue’s role in my life must surely have been washed away by this simple and intuitive act of love. She looked nothing like my original mother, and their personalities were completely different. Yet, the two women were now indelibly morphed into one—a seamless transition so gradual; I hadn’t even noticed.

The church was relatively modern and nowhere near as grandiose as the one in London. The inside was well-lit and carpeted, with chairs instead of pews and a stage with a podium instead of an altar.

It was already busy, and as we stood at the back of the hall waiting for the bottleneck to ease, Sue studied my face and thumbed away a solitary tear from under my eye.

“Are you okay, dear?”

I smiled at my mother and suddenly realised why she had offered to come with me. I thought it was just to give the pastor a bollocking.

He was nowhere to be seen, but we didn’t need introductions because Don knew everyone. I recognised some of his friends from his Saturday night dinner parties and others from the yacht club. It was a familiar pattern. The same faces in different places.

For Don, it was a rare opportunity to show off some of his family to those outside his close circle and prove that all was well at home. There must have been doubts when news began circulating that one of his kids was gay. Now he could use my presence as proof that I was cured and willing to conform. It was good publicity for him, and he made the most of it as he put his hand on my shoulder and guided me down the aisle, stopping to say hello to everyone we passed. It was Don at his best—popular, jovial, and loud, but with very little substance.

Amy was bored already. She managed to escape from her mom and was swinging from my arm when Don called me over to say hello to the police chief, who crushed my hand in an overzealous shake. Even out of uniform, he was recognisable with a distinctive goatee beard and a shiny bald head that looked like it had been polished.

“Glad to see you in church, young man. Keeping out of trouble, I hope.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“He’s been learning how to sail,” said Don. “We finally found something he’s good at.”

“So, how come we’re blessed with your presence today.”

“Oh, err, because it’s better than being grounded for two weeks.”

The chief laughed. “That sounds like it must be the truth. At least you’re honest. And I have to say, looking very smart. Well done, Don. I’m impressed.”

‘Don?’

“It hasn’t been easy. This one’s taken years off my life.”

Not enough years, as far as I was concerned.

“Kids are a problem these days,” said the chief, “especially teenagers. Probably half the youths in Cobourg are using drugs, and crime is through the roof.”

Don shook his head in dismay, but it sounded like the chief was exaggerating. I hadn’t seen much evidence of crime in Cobourg, and I didn’t know anyone who used drugs other than Alex, Nathan, Ginny, Nicola, Mr Lube, and occasionally me.

“I’d like to see them introduce some kind of a curfew,” said Don. “To keep teenagers off the street at night and stop the gangs.”

I laughed. “What gangs? Cobourg’s full of old people and dogs!”

“Don’t be fooled,” said the chief. “Crime is rising everywhere, and it will get a lot worse. That’s why I’m pushing for more funding.”

The penny dropped. I knew what the chief was doing. Scare tactics to get more money.

“Well, you have my support,” said Don. “Your officers are doing a fine job. I don’t know what we’d do without the Cobourg Police Service.”

“Have you found the guy who attacked Nathan yet?”

I thought it was a legitimate question to ask. If they were doing such a good job, then why hadn’t they managed to catch a guy who had left his fingerprints, blood, and DNA? He was even captured on film leaving the motel. This guy wasn’t even trying to cover his tracks.

Don thought I was being rude, but the chief took it in his stride with a long-winded and confusing reply.

“It’s okay; the kid has a right to ask. This was a particularly violent offence, which could easily have been avoided. I’m glad your friend has recovered, and I hear he’s back at school now, but what he did was stupid. By agreeing to meet a stranger at a motel, you’re asking for trouble. He’s lucky to be alive.”

It was generally accepted, even by Nathan, that it was a stupid thing to do, but the chief made it sound like it was all his fault. If you meet a stranger at a motel, you should expect them to try to kill you. Despite insisting I had a right to ask, he failed to answer my question, so I assumed Nathan’s attacker was still at large and moved on to my next question.

“Don’t forget someone tried to kill me too.”

“Don’t be silly,” said Don, “it was probably just an accident.”

“It wasn’t an accident. Someone pushed me. I almost died; you know!”

I was starting to irritate the chief by reminding him of his failures, so Don promptly removed me from the conversation.

“I need to talk privately with the chief about something; why don’t you take Amy to our seats?”

He gave me a gentle shove, but my sister was already tugging on my sleeve.

“I can see Matthew,” she squealed as she held my hand and dragged me to the front, where he was standing by the stage.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you showed up. You look nice,” he said. “In a suit, I mean. It makes you look much better.”

“Better is good. I wouldn’t wanna be worse,” I laughed, but it was an awkward conversation. I preferred it when we were trading insults.

Matthew was blushing. “Do you think your parents will mind if you sit with me? Well, not just me. My friends are here too.” He pointed to the back of the church, opposite the entrance. “You already know some of them from the sailing lesson, but the others would like to meet you. Yesterday was crazy, eh?”

He was very talkative. The boy in front of me was nothing like the sour-faced little brat who refused to smile or speak to me when he visited our house, and I wondered if it was even the same person.

“You haven’t got a shy twin brother by any chance?”

“Not a twin, but I have plenty of brothers and sisters. They’re all around us. We’re like one big family. I’m sure you’re gonna like it. Can you stay for a while after the service?”

“I don’t think so, Matthew. I got things to do.”

“That’s too bad. We usually stay behind and clear up while the adults talk. We have a lot of fun.”

“It sounds riveting; maybe next time.”

Matthew’s face lit up. “So, you’re gonna come every week?”

“No, Matthew. I was just being polite. There probably won’t be a next time. Let’s go see your friends.”

“I wanna come too,” said Amy, and there was no way she was going to let go of my hand, so we went to ask Sue.

“As long as you don’t misbehave,” she said.

“She won’t; I won’t let her outta my sight, I promise.”

“I was talking about you, Robbie.”

Amy thought it was funny, and she was still laughing as we followed Matthew to the back of the hall, where, nestled in the corner, was a small section of seats occupied by about a dozen kids.

“This is where the cool people sit,” said Matthew as he ushered us into the last row behind Jon and Hannah. The others waved at us while Hannah swapped places with the boy in front of me and leaned over the back of the seat to talk. I apologised for swearing at her on the boat.

“It’s okay. It was a difficult day for everyone. How are you feeling?”

“I got a few bruises on my side where I fell against the door, but I’m okay. What about you?”

She lifted her arm to show me her heavily bandaged wrist. “It’s just a sprain. It must have happened when I fell over.”

“I could hardly walk this morning,” said Matthew, as he rolled up his pant leg to show us the bruises on his shin.

They looked nasty, but Amy wasn’t impressed.

“My brother has a bigger one than that. Show them, Robbie!” She tugged on my shirt as Hannah and her friend burst into a fit of giggles.

“She means a bruise,” I said, feeling the need to clarify.

“Well, obviously,” said Hannah. “What else would she be talking about?” There were more naughty giggles with her friend, prompting some hard stares from a few disgruntled members of the congregation. I could see Sue glaring at me from the front row as the pastor took to the stage, and the crowd fell silent. I wondered if these church girls were as virtuous as he claimed.

The pastor welcomed everyone with a short prayer, then the organist began playing, and everyone stood up to sing.

I had no intention of straining my vocal cords for a song that had no melody, but Matthew insisted on sharing his hymnbook. He leaned against my shoulder and sang in my ear while holding the book in front of us and pointing at the words with his finger like a karaoke machine.

The pastor’s Easter Day sermon unsurprisingly focussed on Christ and the resurrection, but I found it difficult to concentrate. He wrapped up by scaring the congregation with stories of impending doom and telling us to prepare for a wave of crime fueled by illicit drugs and immorality.

“This is not the time to be complacent. There are people in this town whose sole mission is to corrupt our youth and turn them against God. They hide behind rainbows and pretend to be victims while luring your sons and daughters into a life of decadence. I’m afraid there’s no safe place for our children anymore.”

He was a convincing orator. There must have been over a hundred people crammed into that church, and most of them were locked into his sermon. Amy was one of the exceptions. She was restless and needed to pee, so I skipped the final hymns to take her to the washroom.

It was an excuse for me to escape a service hijacked by thoughts of my mom. I needed to clear my head and was leaning against the wall in the foyer when Matthew came to look for me.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m waiting for Amy.”

"You’re very protective. I’m sure Amy can find her own way back. It’s safe in here.”

“You heard what the pastor said. There’s no safe place for our children anymore. But I guess I am protective. Having a little sister is still new to me. I joined the family late, so I’m making up for lost time.”

Matthew looked impressed. I don’t think he expected me to be so candid.

“That’s a nice thing to say.”

“I have my moments. It sounds daft, but I enjoy being her big brother. It makes me feel proud. It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, it’s not stupid at all. It’s good that you’re close to your family. I noticed it yesterday, with your brother. I know you were worried about him.”

I laughed. “Daniel and I fight like cats and dogs, but I still love him, and he said something really cool this morning, which meant a lot.”

My emotions must have gotten the better of me. It was unlike me to talk so openly about my feelings to someone I hardly knew.

“Are you sure you’re not religious?”

“Do you need to go to church to love your family?”

I was surprised that Matthew had to think about it. “I suppose not, but we’re always told how bad and corrupt everyone else is.”

“And you believe that?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t talk to many people outside of the church.”

“I know; you’re not allowed. Maybe that’s the reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“They don’t want you to know there are good people outside your religion because they don’t want you to leave.”

Matthew frowned. “It’s not like that at all. They’re trying to protect us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said, but he looked like he was having doubts. “Is your sister okay in there?”

I figured Amy was wasting time so she didn’t have to go back inside the hall. But the service was nearly over, so I decided to go and get her.

“Wait here; I’ll be right back.”

“You can’t go in there!”

It was too late. I found Amy standing in a puddle playing with a sink full of water.

“Oh shit! Not good, Amy.”

I made her jump. “You’re not supposed to come in here. I was just washing my hands.”

“And the floor, too, by the look of it.” I moved her away from the sink and pulled the plug.

“Boys aren’t allowed in the girl’s washroom.”

“You won’t be either if they find out about this.”

I stood her in front of the hand dryer until the singing stopped in the hall, then pushed her out of the door with seconds to spare. When the congregation began spilling into the foyer, we were standing by the front doors as far away as possible from the washrooms, but her dress was still soaking wet.

“What happened?” said Matthew.

“There was an accident. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“What do you mean, an accident?”

“Shush, no one will know. If anyone asks, just play dumb.”

“That’s easy for you.”

When I looked back at Matthew, he was smiling. “That’s funny.”

“I have my moments.”

Within minutes the foyer was packed with chatty adults and bored kids, and I seemed to be the main attraction. I did my best to smile and look interested, but I hated small talk and was itching to get home.

“Are you gonna come next week?” asked Matthew.

I spotted Sue over his shoulder and winced when Amy ran to see her in wet clothes.

“I might have to.”

As Sue looked at me for an explanation, I got a pat on the shoulder and some unwanted advice from the police chief.

“You did yourself a big favour by coming here today, Robbie. Keep it up, and you’ll prove a lot of people wrong around here, including me.” He glanced at Matthew. “And I’m glad to see you’re making better friends now. Matthew’s a good kid. Just make sure you get yourself a haircut before next week.”

I glared at the chief as he walked away, then combed my unruly hair with my fingers.

Matthew giggled. “Don’t worry; he’s just jealous because he hasn’t got any. I think you’ve got nice hair.”

I stopped to stare at him. “Do you fancy me?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I’m not blushing.”

I was only having fun, but Matthew wasn’t comfortable when there were people around him. He was constantly worried about being overheard even when he wasn’t saying anything that could be construed as bad, which was all the time. He was noticeably different when we were alone, like in the cabin yesterday or the foyer earlier. They were the only times he seemed to relax.

After two days of storms, it was nice to see the sun shining when they opened the doors, and the people gradually began filing past the pastor. He stood in the doorway, shaking hands, and lapping up compliments with a humble gratitude that was almost painful to watch.

“I have to clear up the hall,” said Matthew. “Are you sure you don’t wanna help?”

I was positive, but I joined him anyway and followed him down the aisle towards the stage.

“I suppose I could help while my parents are talking. What do we have to do?”

“They use the hall for other things in the week, so all these chairs have to be stacked and moved to the side.”

I stopped and looked around. The hall was covered in chairs. “How many are there?”

Matthew laughed. “Don’t worry; Jon and Murray will be here in a minute when they finish helping the girls in the kitchen.”

“How come the kids have to do all the work?”

“We don’t have to, but they expect us to volunteer. It saves on hiring cleaners and stuff.”

It sounded like child labour to me, but after an hour-and-a-half of boredom, I saw it as an opportunity for some mischief.

I joined Matthew on the stage to help him fold the tables, but I had my eye on the podium, and when his back was turned, I grabbed the mike.

“Hey, Matthew, have you ever farted into a microphone?” My voice was amplified, and he panicked as I held the mike to my backside, but he managed to pull the plug before I could produce any wind.

“You mustn’t do that!”

“Why not? I’m only having a laugh.”

“They won’t think it’s funny. We’ll get into trouble.”

I was laughing as he snatched the mike and put it away. I wondered if he ever had any fun.

“Do you wanna do a selfie with me?” Matthew didn’t have much choice as I put my arm around his shoulders and held my phone at arm's length. “Say cheese.”

He didn’t smile, but it was good enough to send to Nathan.

“Who did you send it to?”

“My boyfriend. That’s okay, isn’t it? He likes to know who I’m with, and he’s never seen you before.”

“He’s the guy who got beat up at the motel, isn’t he?”

“Who told you that?”

“I overheard people talking. Is it true?”

“Yeah, it’s the same guy. He’s better now, though. Why did you ask?”

“No reason. I saw him downtown; he was with a strange girl.”

I laughed and reached for my phone as Nathan returned my text with his own selfie. “That was probably his friend, Ginny.”

“He’s very, um, noticeable, isn’t he? I mean, he dresses kinda weird.”

“Not that weird.” Then I looked at the Easter Bunny on my phone. “Well, maybe a bit.”

Matthew wasn’t sure what to make of my boyfriend’s selfie. He lived in a world that viewed people like Nathan as symbols of a decadent society and enemies of the church.

“He wasn’t wearing a bunny suit when I saw him,” said Matthew.

“He’s going to a party. He doesn’t always dress like the fucking Easter Bunny, you plonker!”

“You shouldn’t swear in church.”

“No one can hear me.”

“God can hear you.”

I could tell he believed it, and I wondered what it felt like to have that much faith. I wanted to think my mom was out there somewhere to guide me and help me make the right decisions because that was how I coped. To believe she wasn’t there at all was unacceptable, even though deep down, I suspected that was the case.

It was easy to feel sorry for myself, and sometimes it felt like she was right beside me, demanding my attention. While Matthew dismantled the podium, I sat on the edge of the stage with my feet dangling over the front.

“I don’t think God would listen to me because I don’t believe in him.”

“God listens to everyone, even you. All you have to do is pray. Haven’t you ever prayed before?”

“No, but sometimes I talk to my mom. When I have to tell her stuff or I need help. You think that’s stupid, don’t you?”

I looked up at Matthew as he sat beside me and shuffled along until our arms touched. “It’s not stupid; it’s called grief. I’m sorry; I keep forgetting that Sue isn’t your real mom.”

“So do I sometimes. I suppose she is now, at least according to the law. But my original mom is still here, and I think about her every day.” I placed my hand on my heart as I choked a little. “This is the first time I’ve been inside a church since the funeral.”

Matthew took a deep breath. “Now I understand why you’re upset. You should have told me earlier. Was that the reason why you had to leave the service?”

“No. I was bored.” I jumped down from the stage and started stacking the chairs. “Do you want me to help you or not?”

Matthew shook his head and followed me. “You’re allowed to grieve, Robbie. It’s not a sign of weakness.”

I stacked six chairs and leaned against them, out of breath. “It’s been over a year-and-a-half.”

“That’s not a long time.”

I glanced at my watch. “I’ll feel better when I get out of here. What are they doing in there?”

“Talking and drinking coffee. It’s usually the same people who hang around at the end. Your dad’s one of them. Sometimes they’re here for hours.”

“I hope not. I wanted to go somewhere.”

“With your boyfriend?”

I wondered if it was that obvious. “I’m supposed to meet him at a friend’s house for an Easter party.”

Matthew giggled. “Are you gonna dress up in a bunny suit too?”

“Don’t be cheeky. It’s not a fancy dress party. Just a bit of fun. You could come with me, but you probably would disapprove.”

“I wouldn’t be allowed anyway.”

I felt sorry for him. He didn’t have many friends his age and never left the protective bubble of the church.

“I don’t think I could live under those rules.”

We stacked another two rows before he stopped me with a suggestion.

“I can go out places with friends, you know. It’s not like I’m a prisoner or anything. My dad wouldn’t let me go to a party, but we could meet up sometime. If you want to, that is.”

‘Meet up?’

“You mean like hang out together?”

When I asked Matthew to be my friend, it was more of a gesture than an invitation. I didn’t think we would ever hang out like real friends because we had almost nothing in common. Yet as stupefyingly crazy as it seemed, I was enjoying his company, and meeting up suddenly sounded like a good idea. Not long ago, I would have had myself committed for thinking that way.

“It’s okay,” said Matthew. “I understand if you don’t want to.”

“Of course, I want to. That’ll be cool.”

Matthew couldn’t hide his excitement. The kid was easily pleased, but there were conditions.

“As long as it’s just the two of us, and I’ll have to get my dad’s permission first.”

“Just the two of us. Wait a minute. This isn’t a date, is it?”

He looked horrified and backed away from me. “No! Definitely not!”

I chuckled. “I’m only joking. Don’t run away; I’m not gonna eat you. Yet.”

Matthew had a multi-layered personality that made it difficult to get to know him. When Jon and Murray arrived to help clear the hall, he reverted to the quiet church boy, and when the pastor was there, he changed again. This time into the silent, nervous boy I originally knew. His dad belittled him at every opportunity calling him weedy, stupid, and overly shy, but none of that was true. I learned a lot about him that morning, and he was starting to trust me, but not enough to tell me more about Mr Symmonds, and whenever I dared to breach the subject, I came up against a brick wall.

“What do people do when they hang out?” asked Matthew.

“Nothing usually, but I have an idea. Do you like watching baseball?”

“I’ve only watched it on TV.”

“Well, if you wanna meet up this Thursday, it’s the first game of the new season, and my friend is pitching. I told him I would go and watch, so you’re welcome to join me. My school isn’t far from here.”

Matthew looked dubious at first, but the idea seemed to grow on him. What harm could come from a baseball game?

“I think my dad will be okay with that,” he said, and he ran up the aisle, almost colliding with Jon. “I’m gonna ask him.”

“What about the chairs? Don’t worry; I’ll finish up here.” But first, I needed to call Nathan to tell him I would be late.

“Don’t be too late, or I’m giving your chocolate penis to Camp Simon.” I scratched my head and pulled a face at the phone. That sounded so wrong.

“You bought me a chocolate penis?”

“They’re a little sweet but delicious. I’ve had two.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” I mumbled.

“I heard that. Don’t be so rude.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can, you sexy little bunny.”

“Well, you know what Rabbits are famous for, don’t you?”

The opportunity to bonk the Easter Bunny was too much to resist, so I left the chairs to search for my parents.

Sue was in the kitchen with Amy, Hannah, and the church secretary—a small frumpy woman with red hair.

“We’re just waiting for Don,” said Sue. “He’s in the pastor’s office.”

“Church business,” said the secretary.

I groaned and joined Hannah and Amy at the counter.

‘I knew we would be the last ones to leave.’

“Hi, Robbie. Your sister’s cute. She’s been helping me.”

“Hannah said I could stay over at her house one day.”

“Don’t look at me, Amy. You’ll have to ask mom.” I turned to Hannah. “You might regret that when she’s waking you up at six o’clock.”

Amy frowned. “He’s always grumpy in the mornings. And sometimes, when I’m watching TV, he runs to the bathroom in his underwear.”

The girls giggled at my embarrassment. Having a little sister had its drawbacks.

It was another ten minutes before Don arrived with a man who I recognised as the treasurer. He and his wife were regular dinner guests at our house, and he stopped to say hello to Sue before joining us at the counter.

“This is my dad,” said Hannah; “he works here too.”

“I believe we’ve already met. Robbie, isn’t it?” He looked me up and down and nodded his approval. “The last time we met, you had a disagreement with your sister and spent the rest of the evening in the basement.”

I remembered Don sending me downstairs after a shouting match with Nicola at the dinner table.

“He’s matured a bit since then,” said Don.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said, tapping his daughter on her arm. “Say goodbye to Robbie.”

Hannah smiled at placed a folded piece of paper into the breast pocket of my shirt. “Here’s my cellphone number. You can call me if you want.”

Amy covered her mouth and giggled while her dad shared a joke with Don.

When they left, Don patted me on the back. “Making friends already, I see. Hannah’s a nice girl.” He was so predictable.

“We’re going to get married one day. Can we go now?”

“As soon as the pastor gets here.”

“I’ll wait in the car then.” I held out my hand for the keys and left, stopping in the hall to say goodbye to Matthew and look at a text from Nathan. It was a picture of the Easter Bunny sucking on a chocolate penis which I assumed was mine.

“There you are,” said the pastor. He made me jump and quickly pocket my phone. “We haven’t had a chance to talk today, but I wanted to thank you before you left.”

“What for?”

“For keeping your word and showing up today. And for making such a good impression. Everyone has been asking who this smartly-dressed and polite young man was joining our congregation. Even Don was proud of you.”

“I doubt it.”

“Well, maybe not proud, but you surprised him. I had to talk him into this, you know. He was less than enthusiastic at first, but I had faith in you. I knew I would be able to turn you around, and you didn’t let me down.” It was rich, even from the pastor, but I knew there had to be another reason for this conversation other than to prove how conceited he was, and I was right. “Matthew has asked me if he can go with you to watch a baseball game next week.”

“Can he go?”

“I don’t have a problem, providing he’s not exposed to any bad influences. You know what I mean.”

“Don’t worry, pastor. I won’t expose Matthew to anything.”

He stared at me like he was unsure if I was being sarcastic. “Good. We’ll see you here next Sunday, then.”

“Next Sunday?”

“Yes, it’s just a normal Sunday service next week, so there won’t be as many people.”

I should have known the pastor would want something in return, and I wondered if this was the plan all along.

I was duped and knew it but couldn’t do anything to stop it. I likened the church to quicksand; the more resistance I put up, the faster I sank. The pastor was a lot smarter than I gave him credit.

“Did you enjoy my sermon today, Robbie?”

“Some of it.”

The pastor raised his eyebrows like he was surprised there was someone who didn’t think it was wonderful.

“Really, what bits didn’t you like? You can be honest with me, you know.”

“The bit at the end.”

“So, you don’t think it’s right that I should warn the congregation about immorality? I thought you would support me for taking a stand; after all, you’ve been a victim of this unfortunate trend.”

If the pastor had known what I was planning to do with Nathan later that day, he wouldn’t have seen me as a victim, and he probably wouldn’t have allowed me within a mile of his virgin son, but all that seemed irrelevant when I saw Sue approaching.

“Hello, pastor.”

“Mrs Taylor.” The pastor clasped Sue’s hands in his. “I’m so pleased you could make it today. Did you enjoy the sermon? Robbie wasn’t overly impressed, I’m afraid?”

“I hope he wasn’t being rude.”

“No,” said the pastor. “Don’t tell him off. I value Robbie’s opinion because I know it comes from his heart, even if he doesn’t quite understand the finer points of the discussion.”

I wasn’t sure if he was praising my integrity or criticising my stupidity. The pastor had a knack for making me feel good and bad about myself in the same sentence.

“I’m not going to tell him off, pastor. That would be unfair after the trauma you put him through yesterday.”

‘Oops!’

“I take it you’re referring to the sailing lesson.”

“The people of this town trust you, pastor. What you did yesterday was foolish and irresponsible. Not what I’d expect from a man in your position.” Sue spoke calmly but with a lot of emotion. I wondered how often she had repeated those words in her head over the past twenty-four hours while waiting for this opportunity. “I want you to know that I filed a complaint with the coast guard, and I won’t allow any of my children to participate in any of your sailing lessons in future.”

There was a brief silence before Don appeared, flicking his eyes between his wife and the beleaguered pastor as if unable to decide whose side to take. It’s impossible to know what was going through his mind at the time, but even I was surprised when he chose to defend the pastor while trying to steer Sue towards the door.

“We should go, dear; you’re causing a scene.”

Don probably couldn’t see the disappointment in Sue’s eyes, but even if he could, it would have been too late. She pulled her arm away from his hand and stood her ground as the red mist descended, and her voice became louder and angrier.

“I’m not causing a scene. I’m sticking up for your children—a responsibility you seem to have abandoned.”

“But it wasn’t his fault,” said Don. “He wasn’t the captain.”

The pastor raised his hand and signalled for calm.

“Bickering isn’t going to solve anything. Your wife has every right to be angry. It would be wrong for a mother not to be concerned about her children’s well-being. Yesterday’s storm caught everyone by surprise.”

Sue wasn’t buying it.

“The only one it caught by surprise was you, pastor. Yesterday, you risked the lives of eight teenagers, including my two sons, and today in your sermon, you have the cheek to tell us they’re not safe in this town. It seems to me the one place that they’re definitely not safe is on your boat!”

‘Tell him, Sue!’

I silently cheered her on, ducking and diving like a boxer, while the pastor was on the ropes and heading for the canvas.

“If you’ll allow me to explain. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of any warnings from the coast guard. That’s the responsibility of the skipper. He’s the person in charge of the boat. Even I must take my instructions from him. I can only make suggestions. But if it’s any consolation, we’ve decided not to use his services again.”

‘NO!’

“You fired Joeseph? He was the one who saved us.” I couldn’t believe the slimy git blamed everything on the skipper.

Sue looked at me. I think she knew I was telling the truth, but Don wasn’t happy with my intervention.

“It wasn’t the pastor’s fault,” he said. “If anything, we should thank him for advising the skipper to return to the harbour.”

The pastor smiled and dipped his head. “Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. It was the Lord who kept us safe, not me. And the fact that we’re all alive and well proves that he listens.”

“Amen,” said Don. “You see, dear. You were worried over nothing.”

Sue wasn’t convinced; she glared at her husband. “You think that was nothing? Every parent would be worried in that situation. What concerns me the most is that you weren’t worried!”

Bullseye! That comment hit Don right in the smacker and made me want to cheer. He stuttered incoherently as Sue grabbed my arm and dragged me behind her to the door.

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going home, dear.”

“Don’t you think we should get Amy first?”

Sue stopped in the middle of the foyer and shouted to her daughter. It deafened me and allowed Don to overtake us and throw his back against the big wooden doors to block our exit.

“Sue, wait a minute. This is silly.”

Sue took a deep breath and released her iron grip on my forearm. “I’m sorry, Robbie.”

After hearing her apology, I rubbed my arm and pulled a stricken face. “Ouch, I think you might have broken my arm, you know.”

No one was interested in my playacting, and I was ignored in favour of Amy, who ran towards her mom, demanding to know what was happening.

“I’m sorry if I’ve wrongly accused you, pastor, but you’re the one who organises these lessons. In future, you might want to hire a more experienced captain. Out of the way, Don. If the church means more to you than your children, then you should stay here. I’m sure the pastor will put you up.”

Don wisely moved out of the way and waited until we reached the car before calling after his wife.

“You won’t get very far without the keys.”

His smug smile soon faded when I took them from my pocket and dangled them in the air before tossing them to Sue.

“Don’t antagonise him, dear.”

As Sue sped out of the parking lot, I waved to say sorry to the car she almost hit. “Nice one, Mom. Give it some wheelspin. I don’t suppose you could drop me somewhere on the way.”

Amy shook her head to tell me it was a bad idea, and I suppose my little sister was right. Sue was upset, and this was probably more important than Ginny’s Easter party. It looked like Camp Simon was going to get my chocolate penis, after all.

When we stopped at the lights, Sue reached across, squeezed my hand, and smiled at me.

“You don’t have to call me mom, dear.”

“I want to.”

Thank you, Robbie. Things will be different from now on.”

She didn’t say in what way, but I assumed she meant their marriage was finally over, so I closed my eyes and said my first prayer to thank God.