Popular Post Cane23 Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 45 minutes ago, chris191070 said: Well today's story is not gonna be a quick read, it is 31,683 words long. Yes, but there is lot of historical data, some of them half accurate (Röhm almost presented as victim of homophobia is inaccurate and I dare to say insulting for real LGBT victims of the Third Reich). For such a delicate historical topic author takes too much artistic license (Jews didn't know in 1933 the evil that is coming, let alone building shelters; Himler personally signing documents for some farmers in Poland is ridicules etc.). I don't know what to think of this story...it could have been GA 'The Diary of Anne Frank' but it is not! I would very much like to hear what others have to say! 6 1 3
Popular Post Mikiesboy Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 I'm not sure what to say. It feels off to me so far. The author put a lot of work into this, but I'm not sure how much is factually correct. Others will know, I'm sure. The opening dialogue feels off to me; people don't actually talk to each other that way. Also, I wonder if 30,000 words is too long for this contest. There are a lot of stories, which is great, but this long? If all 14 or whatever there are were this length, we'd be here for months. Just my opinion. I think a max of 15,000 is enough. 4 7
Popular Post kbois Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 I think this is the only story I may not be able to finish. It's obvious the author put a lot of time and effort into it, but it's too long and detailed with trivial things like measurements. The conversations feel too formal, like @Mikiesboy said.... no one talks like that in real life. I'm too far removed from high school to remember much WWII history, but I would hope that anyone would do the proper research to ensure they have the details right. 2 6
Popular Post Cane23 Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 2 hours ago, Mikiesboy said: The opening dialogue feels off to me; people don't actually talk to each other that way. 1 hour ago, kbois said: The conversations feel too formal, like @Mikiesboy said.... no one talks like that in real life. Yes, the opening dialogue sounds like a script for documentary film at History channel. 2 2 3
Talo Segura Posted August 7, 2024 Posted August 7, 2024 33 minutes ago, Cane23 said: the opening dialogue sounds like a script for documentary film at History channel. Doesn't that indicate it's historically correct? Listen to the recording https://boingboing.net/2019/11/26/754127.html 1930s at the chemist shop, it sounds nothing like people would talk today. 1 3
Popular Post Cane23 Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 10 minutes ago, Talo Segura said: Doesn't that indicate it's historically correct? Listen to the recording https://boingboing.net/2019/11/26/754127.html 1930s at the chemist shop, it sounds nothing like people would talk today. No, it looks like staged discussion between student and a teacher. 2 6
Popular Post Alexmugs Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 19 minutes ago, Talo Segura said: Doesn't that indicate it's historically correct? Listen to the recording https://boingboing.net/2019/11/26/754127.html 1930s at the chemist shop, it sounds nothing like people would talk today. Did you read the story? If you did you would know what the previous commenters were referring to. I managed (barely) to get through the whole thing. Conversations were entirely unrealistic. Example: "I’m glad you are aware of what is happening. Although life has been trying since the German Empire lost The Great War (WW I) in 1918, it’s been getting progressively worse since Hitler became Chancellor of Germany at the end of January 1933. The whispers have been growing louder at my Shul concerning both his ambition and political philosophy.” This sounds like a bad tv show. If one has lived through an event then they know the dates or at the very least are aware of the time frame. Do you talk to your friends like that? "On the 25th of July, Homer and I traveled to the ice cream parlor to partake of a scoop of vanilla ice cream perched on a sugar cone." I think not. Its not a natural form of speech. 2 6 1
Popular Post Mikiesboy Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 5 minutes ago, Alexmugs said: Did you read the story? If you did you would know what the previous commenters were referring to. I managed (barely) to get through the whole thing. Conversations were entirely unrealistic. Example: "I’m glad you are aware of what is happening. Although life has been trying since the German Empire lost The Great War (WW I) in 1918, it’s been getting progressively worse since Hitler became Chancellor of Germany at the end of January 1933. The whispers have been growing louder at my Shul concerning both his ambition and political philosophy.” This sounds like a bad tv show. If one has lived through an event then they know the dates or at the very least are aware of the time frame. Do you talk to your friends like that? "On the 25th of July, Homer and I traveled to the ice cream parlor to partake of a scoop of vanilla ice cream perched on a sugar cone." I think not. Its not a natural form of speech. I looked at the link and copied this: The Sound Archive posted a 1930s-era recording of a conversation in a British pharmacy. The received-pronunciation chatter isn't quite reality–it was recorded to teach English as a foreign language–but it's a stark and amusing insight into English as she was spoke. So, not actually how people spoke. It's scripted. 2 6
Popular Post kbois Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 4 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said: I looked at the link and copied this: The Sound Archive posted a 1930s-era recording of a conversation in a British pharmacy. The received-pronunciation chatter isn't quite reality–it was recorded to teach English as a foreign language–but it's a stark and amusing insight into English as she was spoke. So, not actually how people spoke. It's scripted. Jesus... people need to do their homework. 8
Popular Post Alexmugs Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 6 minutes ago, kbois said: Jesus... people need to do their homework. Or watch Mythbusters. 8
Popular Post Gary L Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 “Different horses for different courses” is an old race horsing saw. In the SA competition we certainly have v different stories for vastly different genres. With regard to this last story, I’m not sure how to place it. It’s obviously an historical “account” set in the first person and yet it comes across as a cold description rather than an emotional (ie with characters with feelings) account which is what many of us, perhaps most of us, would expect. Kudos to the author for their achievement in writing this 30,000+ story. But it is not for everyone. I think I know who might be the author but we shall see. 6
Popular Post BendtedWreath Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 Assuming this was the last story posted (or am I getting ahead of myself) does that mean that tomorrow we get the list? 3 2 3
Popular Post W_L Posted August 7, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 7, 2024 (edited) As I said, I do appreciate the work that went into Dangerous Activities secret author as a fellow author with a lot of historical background. The difficulty with writing history is you need to know your point of reference and be able to expand on it. We have two authors in the current listing with historical fiction: Dangerous Activities is set in the interwar year-WWII with a lot of research, but it doesn't feel like there's enough characterization or humanity within it. The history is told like a documentary from BBC or PBS rather than lived. The reader's issue with Dangerous Activities appears to be that it's too detailed and biased towards imperfect facts (or lack of context) about history. Off the Rails is set at the end of the 19th century, the main narrator is a young queer teen, who is describing how he found his lover. The history in Off the Rails is more subtle like the mention of Pullman cars, water stops, and 19th-century culture and views (including some very racist attitudes, which were not malicious, just ingrained beliefs. Remember this was an era when Eugenics and race theory were starting to be accepted science). The issue with Off the Rails to some readers was the sudden twist that it became a fantasy story with 19th-century personalities. Historical fiction is hard to craft. Edited August 7, 2024 by W_L 5 2
Popular Post Mark Arbour Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 6 hours ago, W_L said: Historical fiction is hard to craft. Ya think? 😂 1 9
Popular Post Darryl62 Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 15 minutes ago, Mark Arbour said: Ya think? 😂 I do wonder if you, Dearest Gentle Author ( yes you @Mark Arbour) are one of those secret authors but trialling a different story... 3 1 3
Popular Post Gary L Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 4 minutes ago, Darryl62 said: I do wonder if you, Dearest Gentle Author ( yes you @Mark Arbour) are one of those secret authors but trialling a different story... A truly wonderful greeting for the historical writer on GA site…. 6 1
Popular Post Gary L Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 6 hours ago, W_L said: As I said, I do appreciate the work that went into Dangerous Activities secret author as a fellow author with a lot of historical background. The difficulty with writing history is you need to know your point of reference and be able to expand on it. We have two authors in the current listing with historical fiction: Dangerous Activities is set in the interwar year-WWII with a lot of research, but it doesn't feel like there's enough characterization or humanity within it. The history is told like a documentary from BBC or PBS rather than lived. The reader's issue with Dangerous Activities appears to be that it's too detailed and biased towards imperfect facts (or lack of context) about history. Off the Rails is set at the end of the 19th century, the main narrator is a young queer teen, who is describing how he found his lover. The history in Off the Rails is more subtle like the mention of Pullman cars, water stops, and 19th-century culture and views (including some very racist attitudes, which were not malicious, just ingrained beliefs. Remember this was an era when Eugenics and race theory were starting to be accepted science). The issue with Off the Rails to some readers was the sudden twist that it became a fantasy story with 19th-century personalities. Historical fiction is hard to craft. I agree 100% with @W_L’s balanced and insightful comments. As a (still) non-writing member I try to give always positive feedback or write nothing at all. The range of talent here is v wide. Some with decades of experience, others not so. But when I finally start writing I’m avoiding the historical stuff like the plague - @Mark Arbour has that market sown up …… 🤗🤗🤗 6
Popular Post W_L Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 (edited) 1 hour ago, Mark Arbour said: Ya think? 😂 And you do it well @Mark Arbour Side note on History writing: Spoiler In my view, the late-16th century for Of Pride and Power is a lot easier to write historical fantasy/science fantasy with than 18th century Peace of Amiens for historical fiction that you have done extremely well on. My era was a huge turning point for gender, government, religion, and warfare, no matter which direction my story goes, there will be paths to go down. For me as someone who doesn't write a lot of historical fiction though I am well-versed in historical facts, it's better to have a minecraft like setting. As someone who has written more historical fiction and knowledge, you write with more focus interests. I learned a lot from reading your stories and probably will do pure historical fiction at some point, but I am swimming in the shallower end of the pool for now. Dangerous Activities isn't a bad story despite its length and detail, it's just lacking some human perspective, which is what historical fiction needs (His + story = history, you need perspective for history to be told). 40 minutes ago, Gary L said: I agree 100% with @W_L’s balanced and insightful comments. As a (still) non-writing member I try to give always positive feedback or write nothing at all. The range of talent here is v wide. Some with decades of experience, others not so. But when I finally start writing I’m avoiding the historical stuff like the plague - @Mark Arbour has that market sown up …… 🤗🤗🤗 Very true, Mark dominates a lot of historical fiction categories. Mark dominates historical dramas on GA along with a few subcategories of historical fiction. The only area I carved a niche was oriental history as not many GA authors have knowledge on those areas; even then, I still do it with historical fantasy. Don't be threatened by established writers, take your time to identify the stories you like and if you eventually do write, seek a story that calls you. Edited August 8, 2024 by W_L 1 6
Popular Post Talo Segura Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 I read the dialogue, the opening of Dangerous Activities, I think the author put in a lot of effort and I wanted to show that in the 1930s people didn't talk like today. But okay, it reads like a dry history book and really difficult to get into. History can be written well as Mark Arbour, the doyen of the genre, says. James Keogh also wrote a good book Basically WL sums it all up including Off The Rails which was only historical fiction until it warped into fantasy. 3 3
Popular Post Mark Arbour Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 1 hour ago, Darryl62 said: I do wonder if you, Dearest Gentle Author ( yes you @Mark Arbour) are one of those secret authors but trialling a different story... I am writing 2 separate series and publishing a chapter a week to avoid getting lynched by my readers, and you think I have time to jot out thousands of more words? 8
Popular Post CassieQ Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 I'm sad to say that I haven't checked out most of the longer stories...I just don't have time. I liked most of the short to moderate ones though. 7 1
Popular Post Thirdly Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 (edited) 1 hour ago, CassieQ said: I'm sad to say that I haven't checked out most of the longer stories...I just don't have time. I liked most of the short to moderate ones though. Yeah I lost track not because I wanted to, but because moving happened. I think we both survived our respective moves, @CassieQ! Edited August 8, 2024 by Thirdly 6
Mancunian Posted August 8, 2024 Posted August 8, 2024 I finished reading the latest SA story, Dangerous Activities, left a comment and review and now it has been permanently removed! I must confess that I am left wondering why. I know from reading the comments not all were flattering but as authors we have to accept that. Is there a reason for its removal? I am curious to know why. 4 1
Site Administrator Popular Post Cia Posted August 8, 2024 Author Site Administrator Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 Did you guess the Secret Author was... 😮me? That's right, me, Cia... I've been doing all the posting. That's just a HUGE shocker, huh?! 😋😆 There are far more authors behind our Secret Author, and I have a list of those and the stories for you to guess, just as promised! We'll also have a poll next week for you to vote on your favorite story. Keep an eye on the topic & blogs for more contest & winner announcements. *The author has declined to continue participating further with Dangerous Activities. Please respect that decision. These Stories & Authors have been shuffled with Random.org so don't think you can figure out a system or hidden link or connection or hint I may have given. Goooood luuuuuck!! Stories: Off the Rails The Fascinator Murders Alltopia Hide and Seek Sparkling Water Ceramic Dreams Behind the Walls Hiding in Plain Sight Take me to Your Leader Nox or Not? For Ever Young Christmas in Glacier Bay Yacht Club Authors: Ieshwar W_L Jason Rimbaud Lee Wilson astone2292 drsawzall Thirdly kbois Cassie Q Mark Arbour Quokka Mancunian Mikiesboy 8
Popular Post Mancunian Posted August 8, 2024 Popular Post Posted August 8, 2024 6 minutes ago, Cia said: *The author has declined to continue participating further with Dangerous Activities. Please respect that decision. I think it is a shame as the story has its merits and did find it an enjoyable read, but I do accept and respect the author's right to make their own decisions. 6
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