The Cockney Canuck - 63. Chapter 63 The Show

I cheered enthusiastically as the curtain fell at the end of the final number, and again as the cast were led out for an encore by their teachers. It was a full house in the auditorium, with an appreciative and lively audience made up of friends, family, teachers, and students.

Don had driven Daniel and I back to the school that evening, where we met Rory to watch the end of term musical. As a member of the school board of governors, Don was expected to be present for these occasions, even though none of his children was involved, and after the show, he made his way to the front to talk to the principal.

“Great,” said Daniel, slumping back down in his seat. “Now he’s gonna spend the next hour talking to Andrews.” I was on my feet scanning the crowd; my hands still stinging from my exaggerated applause, but I had my own reasons for staying put, and as the hall began to empty, I waited anxiously for Nathan to emerge from the dressing room.

“Your friend’s really good,” said Rory, who stood next to me looking almost edible. His lightly-tanned rosy face had been a magnet for my eyes all evening, and I turned my head towards him, glad of another opportunity to stare into those bashful eyes.

“I told you he was good, didn’t I? He’ll be out in a minute.” I already told Nathan I was going with Rory and he said that he would see us after the show. I got the impression that my boyfriend was keen to meet my blond-haired buddy, but Rory didn’t look overly comfortable with the prospect of being introduced to one of the stars of the show.

I had already noticed and discreetly waved to Nathan’s parents before Daniel stood up and tugged at my sleeve. “Hey, there’s somebody I want you to meet,” he said, leading the way along the rows of plastic chairs. I shrugged at Rory and reluctantly followed until I noticed who he was taking me to see. The moment that I recognised her, I panicked, but it was too late to back away, as she turned to face us with her usual friendly smile. “This is Nathan’s sister.”

She must have seen my look of horror, as I stared certain discovery in the face for the first time. I was sure that it was over; I would never have been able to explain knowing her to Daniel. She smiled at me and I gave her a wide-eyed look, which she didn’t need to work out. I should have known better; she was already reading from the same page.

“Hi,” she said, “you must be Robbie?”

“Yes,” I replied, barely louder than a whisper, and letting out a huge sigh of relief. She gave me a reassuring glance as she reeled off a few pleasantries, none of which required much thought or participation on my part. Nathan was a good actor, but his sister’s performance was beyond reproach, as she pretended to meet me for the first time and then politely made an excuse to leave before I could bungle her good work.

“Maybe I’ll see you again sometime,” she said, and then when Daniel looked away she smiled and winked at me. I was grateful for her quick thinking and willing participation in what was becoming an increasingly confusing web of deceit, but I was far from happy with the situation and a long way out of my comfort zone.

“She seems quite nice,” I said after she had walked away to rejoin her parents, who were talking to Nathan’s drama teacher. I would have to thank Karen for her skilful diplomacy the next time that I saw her.

“Yeah, his sister’s really cool,” said Daniel, “she’s done me a lot of favours.”

‘Me too’.

I was wondering what favours she had done for Daniel when the man of the moment made his appearance. I saw him leaving the dressing room on the other side of the auditorium, and watched him make his way through the thinning crowd to talk to, and hug his parents and sister.

Daniel waved over to his friend as we joined a nervous looking Rory in front of the stage close to where Don was still in animated conversation with the principal and a rather subdued looking Miss Pringle. I gave her my most ridiculous smile when she looked over, and she pursed her lips.

“She looks sexy tonight,” I said to Rory, “don’t you think?”

“About as sexy as Godzilla,” he replied.

“I dunno,” I said, “I think Godzilla was more attractive.”

“And had a nicer personality,” said Daniel.

“Yeah, you’ve got less chance of getting your head bitten off with Godzilla,” added Rory.

“She definitely doesn’t like me,” I said.

“Your gonna have fun tomorrow then,” said Daniel, “because dad’s invited her to dinner too.”

“FUCK OFF!” I said a little too loudly. Don, the principle, and Miss Pringle, all overheard my faux-pas and turned their heads towards me as I smiled apologetically and then pushed Daniel into the stage. “You just got me in trouble.”

“Ha, you got yourself in trouble, dickhead,” he said. “All you have to do is not swear. You should see how many dollars this guy has put in the swear-box at home, Rory.”

“There’s a lot of money in there,” I admitted which amused Rory, who like Daniel, hardly ever used foul language, even when he was annoyed. It was a target that I had set myself many times since joining the family but found it difficult to maintain, particularly with Nicola hounding me. Just hearing her name made me want to swear, and the same went for Miss Pringle, who much to my relief, I discovered wasn’t coming to dinner after all. Daniel was forced to admit his joke when I grabbed his arm and held it behind his back. He was pleading with me to let him go, but laughing at the same time, which encouraged me to push for more concessions.

“I’ll do anything,” he said.

“Okay, then promise me that you’re gonna clean your half of the room when we get home.”

“Anything but that, ah stoppit…you’re hurting me,” he said as I pushed his arm a little further up his back. “Okay, I’ll do it, I’ll do it.” When I let him go, though, he went back on his word, lashed out at me and wheeled away, dodging my attempt to grab his arm.

“Boys…come on!” said Don firmly. “Calm down please.” His comments were accompanied by a stern look from Miss Pringle, but a faint smile from Mr Andrews. Daniel waited until Don turned his back on us, before attempting a quick hit and run attack, but this time I was able to grab a fistful of his t-shirt as he backed off, laughing at me.

“He thinks he’s tough,” said Daniel, “but I can beat him at wrestling.”

“No you can’t,” I said, lunging at him and grabbing his wrist. As he tried to break free, I let him go and he stumbled backwards into the first row of chairs. Rory and I laughed but Nathan’s arrival on the scene was enough to distract the adult’s attention from our mischief. Mr Andrews congratulated my boyfriend and even Don looked happy for him, as he patted him on the back and sent him over to us.

“Leave my friend alone you,” said Nathan, narrowing his eyes at me. “Or you’ll have me to answer to me.” He playfully punched me on the arm and smiled at me, holding eye contact for way too long in front of Rory and Daniel.

“You were fantastic,” I said, and Daniel agreed, slapping his buddy on the back.

“Thanks,” said Nathan, before turning his attention to my friend. “Hi Rory, thanks for coming tonight. Did you like the show?”

I was expecting Rory to be a little shy, but Nathan’s familiar approach seemed to take him by surprise, and he flinched as my boyfriend reached out to rest his hand on his shoulder. Nathan did that a lot when he talked to people, but usually only to close friends, so Rory it seemed had been elevated into this bracket on the basis of being a friend of mine. I smiled, but my blond-haired buddy was clearly feeling a little uncomfortable in the spotlight, as he stuttered his appreciation.

“Do you like dancing?” asked Nathan.

“Not really,” said Rory.

“Have you ever tried acting?”

“No…I don’t think I….”

“Pity,” said Nathan, “you have the face to be a star.”

‘What the fuck’?

I could see poor Rory squirming, but Daniel gave me a knowing smile and I suddenly felt the need to help out. “He’s more into sports, aren’t you Rory?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, soccer right, that’s cool?” Rory nodded, before glancing towards me. I passed on his worried look to Nathan, who smiled and backed off, but his knowledge of Rory was obviously un-nerving for a boy who spent most of his school life deliberately flying under the radar. “I’ve watched a few games, but it doesn’t excite me,” added Nathan.

“Liar,” said Daniel, “you always get excited looking at guys running around in shorts.” He had a good point, but he didn't need to watch television for that. Even in the evening and in an air-conditioned building, just about every boy and most of the parents were kitted out in knee-length board shorts, including the four of us.

“Don’t blow my cover Daniel,” said Nathan.

“That’s the only thing you’re gonna get blown,” Daniel retorted.

‘Not if I have anything to do with it’!

Daniel and I laughed at his naughty little quip, earning us a disapproving but very comical look from our thespian friend, who grabbed the opportunity to play camp and rolled his eyes theatrically. “Boys please,” he said, “don’t listen to them Rory…but if you do, whatever they say about me, is absolutely true, sweetie.”

I remembered Nathan using the same line on me when Daniel introduced us in the same hall, nearly six months ago. Poor Rory looked completely overwhelmed by our over-excited, adrenaline filled, friend, and had long since retreated back into his shell.

If they had been competing for the crown of gorgeous looks, then it would have been a closely fought contest.

Daniel, although oblivious to cute boys, was keen to talk to his best friend, so I grabbed the opportunity and Rory’s arm to lead him away.

“Can I have a quick word mate?”

He seemed relieved by my intervention and gladly retreated a few paces with me to talk, while I frantically tried to think of something to tell him that was important enough to warrant me dragging him away. He waited and watched me expectantly, but my mind went blank. I was finding it difficult to think past his cute little lips and I stared at him helplessly until it became embarrassing.

“What’s wrong?” said Rory.

“Nothing…err, I wanted to…to talk about…the sleepover…you know, if you still wanna do it with me, that is?”

‘Shit, those were totally the wrong words. That sounded really bad’.

“I mean, if you want me to sleepover…you know, watch the football.”

He was giggling at my hopeless display but looked more at ease now that we were alone, and I could almost see the confidence returning to his face as it quickly lit up. “It’s okay, I know what you meant,” he said. “How about next weekend then. I’ll arrange it, with my folks.”

“Yeah,” I said. "Good. Oh and take no notice of Nathan. He can get a little excitable at times. He gets a little…you know.”

“Gay,” said Rory.

“Yeah…he gets a little gay sometimes."

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I like him, he’s funny.”

“He’s very funny. So you err…you like him?”

‘Help me out here Rory please’.

He looked as if he hadn’t a clue what I was talking about, but I wasn’t prepared to believe what appeared to be a resolute display of denial from a boy who was determined to remain in the closet. I spoke from experience of course, but it was looking ever more likely that Rory would win this battle of wits and force me to show my hand.

Most of the people had now filed out of the auditorium leaving small groups of stragglers and when I glanced over my shoulder, Nathan deep in conversation with Daniel and a girl who I didn’t recognise. They were too far away to overhear, so I decided to put us both out of our misery and clear the air. It was a sudden need, to tell the truth to my best friend, and a gut feeling that my honesty would pay off. I took a deep breath as Rory watched anxiously.

“Rory, I have something to tell you.”

I paused, but before I could continue, his eyes left mine to look behind me and I was startled by a hand on my shoulder.

“Well, you’d better be quick about it because we’re about to leave.”

“Don!”

“Robbie!” he replied jokingly as he stood beside me waiting for me to say my piece. As much as I would love to have seen the look on his face, I wasn’t prepared yet to reveal my sexuality in front of my replacement father, no matter how good a mood he was in.

“It was kinda private,” I said, but the moment had gone as Daniel and Nathan converged on us. “It doesn’t matter Rory; it can wait until tomorrow.” I had already agreed to go to his house during the day, before playing happy families for the school principle and his wife in the evening.

Rory gave me a lingering sideways glance that I couldn’t read, but it definitely made me feel uncomfortable and I wondered if he had seen enough now to work it out for himself. If the penny had finally dropped, then I doubted if he would say anything until I hit him with the truth and finished what I had started, but now there could be no going back.

“Rory, you’re welcome to hang out with us at lunch if you want,” said Nathan as my well-mannered friend said his polite goodbyes. I threw a look at Daniel and he rolled his eyes. “Any friend of Robbie’s is a friend of mine.”

The last thing that I wanted was Rory sitting at Nathan’s table every day. Two pretty gay boys feeding off each other’s beauty. If that happened, then I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before I was pushed aside for leaner meat. I was beginning to rue my decision to introduce them in the first place. My attempt to un-complicate my life had only made things worse and provided me with more worrying material that was sure to keep me awake at night.

Only a few days earlier Nathan had told me on the phone that he loved me, and I could tell that he really meant it, but that evening he was definitely flirting with Rory and it bothered me. It was a stomach-churning worry that I couldn’t suppress, and it would re-surface whenever I saw Nathan with another boy. Maybe it was a sign of my insecurity; another fault in my flawed personality, or maybe it was just collateral damage that comes from dating a boy so obviously out of my league. Despite Nathan’s constant reassurance, I knew that with him as a boyfriend, I would always be boxing above my weight and there was nothing that I could ever do about it.

I walked Rory to the side entrance and promised him that I would be at his house by noon the next day, to catch the highlights of England’s second game of the World Cup. Soccer wasn’t high on my list of priorities at the time, but it would provide a welcome distraction from my growing list of worries.

Rather than go back into the school, I decided to wait in the car park for Don and Daniel. After my lucky escape earlier with his sister, I didn’t fancy running the gauntlet of bumping into his parents, but also, perhaps for the first time since we met, I was a little annoyed at my boyfriend. I knew that he was pumped up from his performance and I made an allowance for that, but I still didn’t like the way that he talked to Rory or the way that he looked at him. Even Daniel had noticed, it was so obvious, and if it was meant to be a joke, then it was difficult for me to see who was supposed to be laughing. I certainly wasn’t amused and I would have preferred it if Rory had been a little more pissed off by it, rather than tell me that he didn’t mind. That only made things worse.

‘I’m too young to be handling this kinda shit. I’m only fifteen, not old enough to drink, vote, or go to work. I can’t even get on a plane without being escorted to the bloody gate. Don and Sue treat me like a kid and I probably still am. I shouldn’t have these problems, they’re adult problems. I should be out skateboarding with Daniel, not worrying about relationships and all that shit. This is all happening too soon. It’s Tom’s fault! No, it’s my fault…it’s probably Nathan’s fault. It’s my mom’s fault for dying. That’s when it all went wrong’.

I was leaning against the door of Don’s SUV in the middle of the floodlit car park that was now almost empty. Don, determined as ever to be the last to leave, had probably found someone else that he needed to talk to, prolonging the agony for Daniel and me.

I was wondering if Nathan was looking for me and keeping his own family waiting when I noticed them walking from the main entrance. His mom dad and sister walked briskly towards their silver Mercedes parked close to the school.

‘They must have got here early to get that parking spot, but where’s Nathan’?

My boyfriend wasn’t with his family as their car sped across the car park and I couldn’t understand why they would leave him behind. I started to worry, but it was perhaps a sign of my increasing paranoia that the most plausible explanation didn’t register until I saw him walking out of the exit with Don and Daniel.

“There he is,” said Daniel as they walked towards me. “We were waiting for you.” He sounded a little annoyed, but Nathan had a huge smile on his face.

“Are we giving you a ride home?” I asked as they joined me for the walk back to the car. It seemed to be a pointless exercise, considering his parents had only just left themselves.

“Nathan’s staying over tonight,” said Daniel, and I turned my head quickly towards my boyfriend who dropped his smile and stared into my eyes. There was way too much in that look for me to decipher and my mind was now in a real mess. When we reached the car, I saw Don nudge Daniel. “Oh yeah…if you don’t mind, that is?”

“Err…no, of course not.”

“I didn’t think so,” said Daniel, staring hard at me, and I had to quickly take stock of a conversation that was going way too fast for my liking.

‘What did he mean by that’?

As soon as the doors were unlocked, I jumped in the back and sat in the middle, expecting the two boys to sit either side of me, but they chose the two middle seats in front of me instead, and I sat alone. It made sense, I suppose, it would have looked odd if Nathan had sat with me, and there was no need for the three of us to squeeze in the back with two seats going begging.

I wanted to believe that this was a well thought out plan of Nathan’s to spend the night at our house, but I got the impression that he really was coming to see Daniel, rather than me. It made the whole situation even more bizarre as I sat watching the two boys in front talking a completely different language.

I had to remind myself that these boys were good friends and that their friendship went back a lot further than my fairly recent romantic interlude. However, before that night I hadn’t seen them together in weeks, during which time my relationship with Nathan had progressed at lightning speed. Nathan was now my boyfriend and that was no longer open for debate. Exactly one week before we had taken a serious step forward, which I was sure would have knocked Daniel for six, had he known.

I was quiet on the way home, refusing Nathan’s polite attempts to involve me in their conversation, but I listened intently to everything they said. Daniel always seemed to get livelier when he was in Nathan’s company; as if he was able to feed off his friend’s exuberance. It was noticeable to me, as I watched them interact, and I wondered if I was equally as transparent. If there was ever a competition about being laid back, then Daniel could win it in his sleep, and he was rarely, if ever that excited when he was with Doug or Billy. I was certain that Nathan’s personality would bring out the best in anyone, and with all due respect to Doug and Billy, they didn’t exactly offer up much in the way of competition. However, it was impossible to deny that Daniel was a completely different person when in the company of his life-long friend, and it suited him.

* * * * *

When we arrived home, Daniel took Nathan downstairs to set up the sofa bed, while Don pulled me aside for a quiet chat.

“I can understand if you feel a little uneasy about Nathan staying the night,” he said. “Daniel should have asked you first, on your own.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, but I did. I think I grasped it pretty well; I just wanted to hear him say it.

“Well, you know; Nathan can be a little…err…a little garish at times.”

“Garish?” I really didn’t have a clue what that word meant.

“Yes, garish. Ostentatious…um…camp, if you like,” he said, and I had to let out a little giggle at his poor handling of a situation that only he saw as a potential problem. I had no idea why he was under the impression that Nathan’s presence in the house would somehow bother me, but it was reassuring to know that he still had no idea what was really going on.

“It’s okay, I’m not worried about Nathan being gay if that’s what you mean? I’m cool with that; it doesn’t bother me at all.”

Don smiled and patted me on the shoulder. “Good,” he said, “but I had to ask because most normal boys would feel a little uncomfortable.”

‘I’m not like most normal boys’.

“Nathan’s harmless honey,” said Sue, who came over and put her arm around me. “He’s been Daniel’s friend for so long, he’s practically part of the family.”

‘Nathan, harmless’?

“Yeah, I know they’re really close,” I said, shaking her arm off. “And I like Nathan too…he’s funny and talented. He was so good tonight Sue, wasn’t he Don? You should’ve seen him.”

“They were all good,” said Don, refusing to single Nathan out for any special praise.

We were interrupted by the sound of banging from the basement; I knew straight away what it was, but Don and Sue looked puzzled. “It’s the sofa bed,” I said, “it’s broken. It keeps getting jammed.”

With the help of a club hammer, the boys had succeeded where I had failed the week before, and when I joined them in the family room, the bed was unfolded. Nathan—still high on adrenaline—chatted incessantly and busied himself with sheets and blankets, while Daniel stood in front of the TV searching Netflix.

“We’re gonna stay up all night and watch horror movies,” said Nathan, and I was sure he was including me in that statement. He turned to wink at me and blow me a kiss. I was longing for some alone time with my boyfriend, if only to talk, but I expected those opportunities to be few and far between, so I resigned myself to an evening of subtle glances and innuendos. Nothing new in that; we had been playing those games since the day we met, but now that the bar had been raised in our relationship, keeping my libido in check was going to be a little more challenging than before.

I decided, therefore, that loose-fitting shorts would be problematic, so I opted for an early pit-stop in the bedroom to change into my nightclothes. I chose a pair of tight fitting briefs under the old swimming shorts that I often wore in bed, with a white vest that was totally unnecessary in twenty-six degrees. Daniel, as usual, had no hang-ups about showing some skin and had already removed everything bar his boxer shorts, before grabbing the duvet off his bed and claiming the couch. It left me with the armchair, but I wasn’t bothered, I had no intention of going to sleep anytime soon, especially after watching Nathan, take a leaf out of Daniel’s book, and strip down to a skimpy pair of briefs, before climbing between his sheets.

“You can sit on the bed if you want, Robbie?” said Nathan. “It’s more comfortable.” It was a tempting offer, but way too dangerous.

“I think Nathan wants to sleep with you,” said Daniel.

“You can join us if you want,” said Nathan.

“Go screw yourself,” said Daniel.

“I can’t do that,” said Nathan, “but you could probably do it if you tried.”

I laughed with Nathan as Daniel turned on me. “What are you laughing at?”

“You’re the one who was bragging about the size of your dick remember?”

Daniel was blushing. “Shutup; you guys are only jealous.”

“You’re right Daniel, I am jealous,” said Nathan, “I would love to have your penis.”

I rolled up laughing and even Daniel was finding it difficult not to chuckle as he stared at his boisterous friend. It was late and we were loud, which meant that it was only a matter of time before someone came downstairs, but I didn’t expect to see Nicola. I was also surprised to see her in a dress and wearing makeup. She looked almost like a woman, but I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not.

“I can hear you guys from my room,” she said, although I doubted if that was true. “Why is it whenever boys get together, they talk about the size of their dicks?”

“Only most of the time,” said Nathan.

“You’re welcome to join in if you want,” I said. I couldn’t help it, it just seemed to roll off my tongue, but as the boys laughed, I prepared myself for the inevitable backlash.

“I’d keep quiet if I were you,” she said, “I’ve seen your wiener, remember?” She laughed and held up her thumb and forefinger to indicate a size of no more than a couple of inches. “Be careful Nathan, he has a habit of walking around without any clothes on.”

“I was in my bedroom,” I said.

“He can walk around naked all he wants,” said Nathan, “it doesn’t bother me.”

“You’d be disappointed,” she said, “I’m surprised he can even find it to pee.”

“Don’t listen to her,” I said, but I don’t know why I felt the need to justify my penis to a boy who had been choking on it only a few days earlier.

Daniel had the least to lose and was clearly enjoying my discomfort.

“Don’t laugh, I’ve seen your penis as well,” said Nicola.

“I bet you’ve seen quite a few,” said Nathan to Nicola. “Just saying like.” He had an evil looking smirk across his face, which was as funny as his remark, and Daniel and I both burst into laughter.

I was expecting Nathan to receive a barrage of abuse; Nicola was never shy of laying into him and had an arsenal of predictable gay slurs at her disposal. However, not only did she refuse to take the bait, but she surprised us all by joining in and actually laughing at herself, which made the whole thing totally unfunny, and caused us to stop and stare at her.

“Too many to count Nathan,” she said walking to the stairs, “have fun boys, and you too Robbie.”

“Funny.”

‘Who sold her a sense of humour’?

Nicola laughed to herself as she climbed the stairs and then stopped halfway. “Oh Nathan,” she said, “I heard that you knocked them dead tonight at the show, congrats babe.”

I looked at Nathan as he mumbled a hesitant thank you. It was clear that even he was at a loss for words as the three of us sat looking at one another, bamboozled by her unexpected praise.

“What happened to the real Nicola?” I asked.

“Yeah, we got off way too lightly,” said Daniel.

“I think it’s a trap,” said Nathan, “she’ll probably try to kill us tonight in our sleep. I think we should stick together, just in case…you know in the same bed.” It sounded like a good idea to me and Nathan was quick to read my mind. “You can be in the middle Robbie.”

“I suppose you want us to hold each other’s dicks as well,” said Daniel and he threw a cushion at his friend.

“I don’t mind If you think it’ll help,” said Nathan, but Daniel ignored him.

“She’s going out with her new boyfriend tonight,” he said, as he threw another cushion at our guest. “That’s why she’s so happy.”

“I only need one of these,” said Nathan, throwing one back at Daniel. “Unless you were planning on joining me during the night?”

“Why would I wanna do that?” asked Daniel.

“I dunno…to have some fun maybe, people do that sometimes you know?”

“Gay people,” said Daniel.

“No, I’m pretty sure that straight guys have fun too,” said Nathan, “probably not as much, though.” I nearly burst out laughing at Nathan’s banter, but I was brought back into line by Daniel’s next statement.

“You’re asking the wrong guy,” he said, looking over at me. “Try Robbie, he swings both ways.” It was about as subtle as a ton of bricks, and whether he meant it or not, his innuendo wasn’t lost on either of us. Nathan gave me an inquisitive look when Daniel turned away, and I shrugged my shoulders in response. I decided that I would need to have a little talk to Daniel when we were next alone before it got out of hand if it wasn’t already.

* * * * *

After demolishing a plate of sandwiches and potato chips, we were left alone for the rest of the evening, and as it was Friday, Sue’s only instructions were not to stay up all night and not to make too much noise. In my book, that meant to do whatever you want, as long as you don’t wake us up, and being two floors apart we would have to be quite loud to do that. Had we been alone, Nathan and I would have been rubbing our hands together at such an opportunity, along with every other body part. Daniel’s presence, however, was sure to keep us apart as we sat in the dark through two rather bland, and not very scary, horror movies. I wasn’t usually a fan of those films but in this case, there was a certain comic value to both features, which Nathan and I exploited to the full, annoying Daniel in the process.

It wasn’t done on purpose, but my brother-to-be had become increasingly irritated by our persistent clowning, and when the credits rolled on the second flick, I suddenly found myself in control of the entertainment, as Daniel handed me the remote and announced that he was off to bed.

“You guys can watch whatever you want,” he said as he dragged himself and his duvet into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He looked beat, and moments earlier I had been close to drifting off myself, but not anymore.

I looked across the darkened room to where Nathan sat upright on his makeshift bed, his face bathed in the light from the television screen. He also seemed wide-awake, as he stared back at me in awkward silence. It was an unexpected twist, which opened the door to possibilities that only moments before had seemed impossible.

Neither of us said a word, perhaps unwilling to believe our luck and unsure of how to respond to what was an unlikely turn of events. I had not even considered the possibility of finding myself alone with Nathan that evening and had no plan up my sleeve to fall back on. I even thought at first that it may have been a trap, and I was almost expecting Daniel to come bounding out of the bedroom, in an attempt to satisfy his curiosity and catch us fooling around. It was clearly another attack of paranoia, but after his comments that evening, it seemed entirely plausible that my brother-elect had at least some incline about my attraction to his best friend. Exactly how much he knew or thought he knew, was unclear, and becoming less important by the second, with the realisation that Daniel had indeed gone to bed.

I stood up and aimed the remote control at the television. “What do you wanna watch then?” I asked quietly.

“You getting undressed,” replied Nathan, skipping my question to answer the one that I probably should have asked but didn’t.

I spun around; looking towards the bedroom door, anxious to see that it was still shut. Daniel never had problems drifting off, but even if he had gone straight to bed, it seemed unlikely that he was already asleep.

I was searching for the inevitable hiccup. Something obvious that I hadn’t considered, which would spoil the party and prevent me from hooking up with my boyfriend. It was too good to be true, and I wasn’t willing to believe that it could be that easy.

“Are you serious?” I whispered turning to my boyfriend, but there was nothing in his naughty expression that told me he was joking, and my groyne was quick to respond, making a mockery of the fortress that I had built in my shorts.

“Don’t you want to?” he asked, but I was ready to concede, as he threw off his sheet and crawled on his hands and knees to the foot of his bed, like a giant underfed cat. He didn’t need an answer; he must have realised that he was already preaching to the converted, and I quickly hatched an obvious plan.

“I was thinking of taking a shower,” I said, as he walked over to the now vacant couch to sit behind me.

“You look like you need one,” he said.

“I do,” I said, “I really stink.”

“What you need is a hot bath.”

“Oh, yes, that’s exactly what I need…you know to help me…relax.”

“Chill-out.”

“Unwind.”

“Discharge.”

“Yeah,” I said, “plenty of that.”

“I can help.”

“I was hoping…but we only have a shower down here.”

“I know,” he said, “but it’s quite big.”

“So is our shower,” I said, “but we should wait a while…you know, to be sure.” I pointed towards the bedroom, but he knew what I meant.

It was nearly two o’clock, but we still had lots of time and now plenty of incentive to stay awake, so turned my attention back to Netflix and ‘The Trailer Park Boys’. It was one of the few Canadian-made shows that I found funny, and something that we weren’t usually allowed to watch. Don and Sue, hated the series because of the foul language and constant references to alcohol, drugs, and sex, which were the things that I found funny.

Nathan cringed at my choice, which he clearly had no intention of watching, and as I clicked on play, I could feel his foot against the back of my leg, slowly moving its way up to my backside. I closed my eyes as he began moving it in circles across my cheeks, massaging me through multiple layers. He knew how to turn me on and when he lowered his foot to push between my legs and rub under my crotch, I dropped the remote control catapulting the batteries across the hardwood floor.

‘Shit’!

If it had woken Daniel, then there was no reason for him to get up and after waiting a few anxious seconds for my panic to subside, I turned to focus on the cute boy sitting behind me. He was a sight to behold, wearing only a pair of white briefs, which did little to hide the rising beast beneath, which reached up to his navel. He could see me staring in the dim light and smiled alluringly as if daring me to move closer and claim a prize that was reserved for my pleasure only.

“I think you broke it,” he said pointing to the pieces of plastic on the floor. His eyes looked even bigger and brighter than usual. They were powerful weapons that he used to good effect, holding me captive as he lifted his foot again and pressed it against the growing bulge in the front of my shorts.

“It was your fault,” I said, taking in sharp breaths as he traced the outline of my erection with his toe, and giggled at how easily he was able to control me with a simple touch.

It would have been impossible to explain our actions to Daniel, had he come walking out of the bedroom, and Nathan, aware of the danger, and conscious of taking it a little too far, was quick to call a time out.

“I want you to save it for later,” he said with a hint of mischief in his voice and although I was certain that I would be able to go more than once, I knew that it made sense. We were already pushing our luck and I was a wreck, trembling with a mixture of fear and sexual excitement as I contemplated what would surely be our most daring mission yet.

“Are you ready?” I asked, “he’ll be asleep by now.” It had only been a few minutes, but I was chomping at the bit. Nathan smiled and told me to sit down for a while, but his bare skin had been causing me problems all night, and having him next to me only made it worse. The solution was simple and staring me in the face, as I slipped my hand under the waistband of his briefs to unveil something that was far too beautiful to be concealed. It was a toy that I had quickly become familiar with after hours of close inspection, and judging by the sticky mess, it was in need of some attention. It was my job to steer it to a satisfying conclusion and I was hungry to start work, as I warmed up with a quick sweep of my tongue.

The first time jitters, which had disrupted Nathan’s firing mechanism on our opening night, was no longer an issue and subsequent performances had gone without a hitch, but I wasn’t sure how long we would have in the shower before the hot water ran out. Basically, the quicker we were, the less chance we had of getting caught, so I would need to give a good account of myself, to keep our shower time to a minimum.

Although I hadn’t heard Nicola come in from her date, it was safe to assume that the whole family were at home, but with the main bathroom situated on the top floor, Daniel was our only likely threat of discovery. He wasn’t easily woken and he rarely if ever got up in the night to take a leak, so the odds were in our favour, but the noise of the shower running was a potential problem. It could be heard in our room, and in the dead of night, it would probably seem a lot louder. I was ready to gamble on the fact that even if it did wake him, he wouldn’t get out of bed because of it, and if all else failed, the door would be locked, preventing him actually walking in on us. With the shower drowning out any little noises that we made, the plan seemed water-tight and once again, everything seemed to be falling into place for us.

I was living a charmed life.

Unable to switch channels or adjust the volume, we were forced to leave ‘The Trailer Park Boys’ running as we untangled ourselves from the human knot that we had tied on the couch, to head for the shower.

“You go first,” I whispered, “I wanna check to make sure he’s asleep. Don’t lock the door.” He gave me a strange look and I knew why. I was too excited to think about what I was saying. “You know what I mean.”

He kissed me slowly on the lips before standing up, his penis drawing my eyes again as it comically stretched the front of his underwear.

‘That thing’s gonna arrive ten minutes before him’.

My visit to the bedroom was a pointless exercise; Daniel fast asleep with his duvet hanging half on the floor and clothes scattered around the bed. I was probably being over cautious as I crept out of the room; I often got up to pee and I had even got up in the night to jerk off before, without ever worrying about being quiet.

When I joined Nathan in the bathroom he was standing completely naked. “I need your clothes, boots, and your motorcycle,” he said in a pretty good Schwarzenegger accent. It made me smile, but it was a poor choice for an impersonation, he was the complete opposite to the Terminator, both in size and looks.

“You can have my clothes if you want, but I haven’t got a motorcycle.”

“Pity, I was hoping for a ride,” he said, and I got the feeling that he wasn’t joking.

The water was warmer than I would usually have it for a shower, but Nathan seemed to like it hot and steamy, so I didn’t complain as we pressed against each other under the heavy spray. We kissed and took in mouthfuls of water, playfully spitting it at each other, while our skin wrinkled and turned red from the heat.

Conscious of the time, I was keen to push things along, without it seeming too orchestrated, but my aim of a maximum thirty minutes under the shower proved an unrealistic target. We spent way too much time washing each other; taking turns to soap-up and explore even the most private of hideaways. That night I familiarised myself up-close with every square inch of his body, and he did the same with me. It was fun and incredibly sexy, but getting to know each other’s bodies better than we knew our own, dispelled any inhibitions that remained between us. I was beginning to appreciate the benefits of being completely comfortable with a person who I loved more than I thought possible, and it made the sex even better.

Standing in a hot shower, pressed naked against the boy of my dreams, was, without a doubt, the best moment of my life so far, and even at the tender age of fifteen, it was difficult to imagine anything that could possibly top it. It had been less than seven months since my mom had died, marking my lowest point and ending nearly two years of darkness. Yet now I wanted to shout at the top of my voice and celebrate my happiness, crying and laughing at the same time. Life couldn’t get any better; I was absolutely certain of it.