timmy's poetry - 63. Goodbye Daddy

10 hours ago, AC Benus said:

You were brave to see him. I'm sorry your hopes for change proved unrealistic. You are right to feel he's forged his own chain link by link. hugs 

I went in with my eyes open. There were no surprises. I said goodbye to him, and I'm done.  Like you say, AC  you reap what you sow.  thank you for your love, and friendship .. that's all i need.. xoxo

11 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

I’m sorry he couldn’t give you what he should have. I’m so very proud of you tim. You showed integrity and compassion with your visit. I hope this now brings you peace and closure. He cant hurt you anymore. Much love xoxo

No, he can't hurt me. I see reflections of myself in the people around me, i'm doing okay i think. With friends like you, jp, i don't need more. love you too xoxo

10 hours ago, Reader1810 said:

You know my thoughts about this...  

i do, and thank you. xoxo

10 hours ago, MacGreg said:

you know my thoughts about this, too. Now, at least, you won't have 17 (and counting) years of unreconciled emotions.

 

you were brave today, my boy. It took guts, and I'm proud of you.

thank You, Sir.  part of the reason i won't is because of what you shared with me, Sir. i didn't do it for him, i knew i needed to live with myself, so i did what i thought was best for me in the long run. 

Thank you very much, Sir, for everything. 

10 hours ago, BHopper2 said:

A very good poem, tim. Lots of emotion in this.

Thank you, A. Yeah there is a lot of emotion... xo

10 hours ago, mogwhy said:

 very proud of you. you faced the past, with courage and did what you needed for you to live. that takes guts and not everyone can do it

i've been doing that since i was 15 .. you have a choice: live or die.. i made mine a long time ago. 

9 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

How difficult a thing you did. It took incredible guts; I am in awe of you. This poem says so much about the man you are, and the abject soulless person who turned you out. 

Thanks Parker.  It really isn't bravery ... my decsion was purely selfish. I had a question to answer: What do you need to do, so you can live with yourself?  That's what i did. I didn't hold out much hope that he'd changed. 

And Parker, i know somethings you've been through recently...all of them take courage my friend. xo

7 hours ago, deville said:

A powerful and empowering work.

Thank you, my final words on the matter I think. Appreciate you reading!

7 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

When you said I want to go, now, today. I wanted to say no, to protect you-he's hurt you so much, taken so much. I didn't want to give that s.o.b. another second of your time, or mine. But a man sometimes has to do what he feels is right. I'm proud of how you handled it. Before and after. xo

Thank you, Michael.  i needed You with me, in more ways than one. thank You xoxo

It’s been said. You did what you needed to do for you. And how empowering to take that step.. 

He’s still accountable,  but all that rests with him.

I hope it’s freeing for you.. *hugs*

5 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

It’s been said. You did what you needed to do for you. And how empowering to take that step.. 

He’s still accountable,  but all that rests with him.

I hope it’s freeing for you.. *hugs*

Thanks Def xo.  The door feels closed and locked behind me. I do feel lighter, free. 

I'm proud of you. You gave him his chance it's on him now. You can step away knowing you did your part. I hope now you're able to move beyond this and be tim. Namasté little brother.

1 minute ago, dughlas said:

I'm proud of you. You gave him his chance it's on him now. You can step away knowing you did your part. I hope now you're able to move beyond this and be tim. Namasté little brother.

Thank you, dugh. You're right. Currently i feel almost an euphoric mania ... i'm sure i'll come down from that, but right now i feel good, like i've done the right thing. I don't see that changing.   

"You built your own hell, brick by stinking brick" I do not know why this line stands out to me. While you are here in a world of friends, feelings, thoughts, hopes, life and love - he has shut himself out of that, has raised walls around him to shut himself in, in a world of loneliness, bitter,  without happiness. Be happy to be outside. It seems he won't share the smallest possible space, not even mutual understanding. So - from this very, very far away - I am sure he won't regret what you could have been to him, only perhaps what he wanted you to be. You have given that man a last chance at being your father. Peace be with you. I feel deeply honoured to read your goodbye. And moved.

*hugs*

38 minutes ago, mayday said:

"You built your own hell, brick by stinking brick" I do not know why this line stands out to me. While you are here in a world of friends, feelings, thoughts, hopes, life and love - he has shut himself out of that, has raised walls around him to shut himself in, in a world of loneliness, bitter,  without happiness. Be happy to be outside. It seems he won't share the smallest possible space, not even mutual understanding. So - from this very, very far away - I am sure he won't regret what you could have been to him, only perhaps what he wanted you to be. You have given that man a last chance at being your father. Peace be with you. I feel deeply honoured to read your goodbye. And moved.

Thank you. I feel like i've done what i need to, so yes, i feel peace with myself. Thank you for taking the time to comment, i'm very touched.

tim