The Cockney Canuck - 83. Chapter 83 Institutionalised

“Geez, what’s up with you, kid, you know that I wouldn’t leave you?”

Alex was sitting on the edge of the sofa bed talking to a very sombre looking Luke. All that crying had proved thirsty work and he guzzled down a cup of milk before wiping his tear-stained face with his arm and smiling weakly at his older sibling.

We had been trying for over an hour to squeeze that smile from him without success but Luke’s hysterics ceased the moment he saw Alex and now he looked ready for the land of Nod.

I was expecting Alex to be annoyed at having to leave Jenny’s place so early, but surprisingly he didn’t seem too disappointed.

“Thanks for coming back,” I said. “I really couldn’t control him.”

“I told you he can be a bit of a handful,” he said, but Luke had been a bit more than just a handful, even for the experienced Sue. “I guess you found out the hard way.”

It was a remarkable transformation, less than ten minutes earlier the kid was inconsolable and I was certain that they could have heard him at the end of the block. There didn’t seem to be any reason for his behaviour either; he wasn’t ill and he had been fine earlier in the evening even after Alex had gone out.

It was disturbing and a bit of a wake-up call for me. Babysitting wasn’t as easy as I thought, although Luke was obviously not your average run-of-the-mill kid either. He had issues that he needed help with and as determined as Alex was to keep him from the social services, it was clear to everyone that night that they needed to be involved.

I heard Don and Sue discussing it when I popped upstairs to get my friend a drink. They were hardly model parents themselves, yet they were suddenly talking as if they were experts in child phycology.

Sue stopped me on my way out of the kitchen. “Robbie, how often is their father at home?”

I wasn’t expecting to be questioned and it put me on the spot.

“It’s important that the authorities know what’s going on there,” said Don. “So Luke can get the help he deserves.” His tone was measured and reassuring and it was probably the nicest that he had talked to me in a month, but I wasn’t prepared to betray my friend. I was certain that the social workers could sort it out without the efforts of my interfering guardians and his condescending approach made me want to throw up.

“Alex was telling the truth,” I said and left it at that. They probably knew that I was covering for him but what did they expect.

When I got to the basement, Luke was already asleep and the drama over. Alex stroked his brother’s hair a couple of times and then joined me on the couch.

“You can go back to Jenny’s now if you want?”

“Like that’s not gonna happen, dude unless your uncle lets me borrow his car.”

“No chance, but you can get a taxi, I’ll pay, I don’t mind.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re rich. You got your own bank account and shit.”

“Yeah, and shit. But seriously I don’t mind…you know I feel a bit guilty for ruining your evening.”

“Bullshit!”

“Honestly.”

“Bullshit! You’re not concerned about me having a good time, you just want me to keep Jenny quiet so your boyfriend doesn’t find out that we played ball together.”

It was an interesting analogy and he was absolutely right of course, but I didn’t want to admit it.

“No.”

“Liar. Has your dad got any beer?”

“He’s not my dad and he’ll know if one goes missing.”

“How about if two go missing?” He laughed but I wasn’t amused. “I was only kidding.” He aimed a punch at my arm; it was only a soft blow but I was able to grab his wrist before he made contact and push it away.

“You’re not quick enough,” I said sneering at him, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to leave it at that and I jumped up as he reached for me.

“You're asking for it, dude.”

“Don’t, you’ll wake up Luke.”

“He won't wake up now and anyway, what’s he doing out here, I thought that he was gonna have your bed tonight.”

“Well, it got kinda late so there wasn’t much point anymore and it’s probably best that he sleeps with you, in case he wakes up in the night. Besides, I snore and it would probably keep you awake.” I smiled at him and bit my lip.

“You snore?”

“Uh huh, very loudly.”

He laughed. “That’s cool dude. It’s not like I wanna have to share a bed with a queer guy anyhow.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You’d probably wanna jump me in the night or something?”

“Probably.”

“And the way I’m feeling right now, I would probably let you.”

I swallowed hard and put my finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet but I was surprised that he should feel so horny so soon after returning from Jenny’s house.

“I thought that you would have had your fun tonight with Jenny,” I said.

“We didn’t have enough time for that dude, you interrupted me, remember!”

“What? You have to go back then.” I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up off the couch. “Go back and do…whatever it is she wants you to do.”

“Get off me, you creep,” he said pushing me away.

‘This isn’t good’.

“But what if she decides to….?” I was interrupted by Daniel coming downstairs. He had been watching TV in the living room while I was struggling to pacify Luke. He said goodnight to us and closed the bedroom door behind him.

Alex was laughing quietly to himself as I sat down in the armchair frowning. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I got it under control.”

“You could’ve fooled me.” I pointed to his crotch and just about the biggest tent that I had ever seen. There was no way that Alex could ever conceal an erection but I wanted to know why he had it in the first place.

He was referring of course, to Jenny but he refused to elaborate and I had to assume that his jovial mood was evidence that his mission had been successful. I doubted that he would be that happy if Jenny was still thinking of outing him. He had too much to lose.

The problem though was unlikely to go away. Whatever Alex had done to secure her silence, unless he was able to brainwash her, would probably only be a temporary fix. I was sure that pretty soon she would up her demands, he would lose his temper and our cute little selfie would be on the home page of the student website.

Nicola was right; I would have to tell him. As much as I wanted to leave it to Alex and just forget all about it, I couldn’t. Nathan was too precious for me to risk losing him over something that I could put right beforehand.

Alex seemed to be getting the message too and the flagpole at the front of his jeans was lowered without my help. I did my best not to encourage him and unlike previous occasions, I resisted the urge to flirt, but I couldn’t resist hanging around just that little bit longer than necessary while he stripped down to his boxer shorts. He knew it too but it didn’t stop him.

* * * * *

The next morning, I woke up with the curly pirate's wig on my head and the sound of kid’s laughter. Amy and Luke had put aside their differences and joined forces once more to terrorise anyone who still happened to be asleep come eight o’clock.

Their combined noise as they ran around the family room, was too much for me to sleep through but it didn’t seem to affect the more experienced Alex or Daniel who were both out for the count in different rooms. There were other similarities that I noticed. Alex seemingly could give Daniel a run for his money in the show some skin stakes. He was lying on his front almost sideways across the sofa bed with his arm hanging over the side and the sheet barely covering one leg.

Amy had seen enough of Daniel over the years to be fairly comfortable with the male form but the puritan in me was a little troubled by his nearly naked sleeping habits. It was a shame to cover such shameless eye-candy with a plain white sheet so I quickly dispatched the kids upstairs with the promise of breakfast and kept him to myself.

‘I’m pretty sure that virtual cheating is allowed’.

Alex was fit and well-built for a kid, with nice abs and shapely legs with firm calf muscles. He was well worth a second glance or a third and fourth even, but I had lost count when Nicola trudged downstairs, cradling a mug of coffee, and looking somewhat bedraggled following a night out with her boyfriend.

She was still in her nightdress and obviously wasn’t expecting to come across a nearly naked Alex asleep on the sofa bed.

“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth with her hand in exaggerated shock, but I noticed that she didn’t look away. Quite the opposite in fact and I started to get a little defensive when I saw her blatantly checking him out. A little jealous even, as if she was trying to steal my boyfriend. It was an odd and completely unexpected reaction from me that I couldn’t explain. “Who needs coffee,” she said and I had to agree, he was a lot more effective at waking you up than caffeine.

She walked past him and came over to sit next to me on the couch with a questioning look and raised eyebrows. I knew her well enough now to know what that look meant and what she was thinking.

“Oh no!” I said vehemently shaking my head. “I didn’t…I mean, I slept in my bed.”

“You slept with Luke?”

“What? No, don’t be daft, Luke was with Alex.”

“I don’t care,” she exclaimed but that wasn’t the answer that I was hoping for and it was a lie because I knew that she cared a lot.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I whispered and she glared at me. “Not again.”

“Whatever!” She was infuriating when she was in one of these moods and then to top it off she grabbed the remote and switched channels to watch some reality show.

“Give it back!” I made a lunge to grab it from her but she slapped my hand and held it in the air out of my reach. “I was watching the football.”

“Soccer is so gay,” she said before giving me a meek almost apologetic smile. “Sorry, no offence.” Then she tossed the remote back to me. “Go on then, crybaby!”

When I switched it back Liverpool had equalised against Chelsea; neither were my team but I was annoyed that I missed the goal.

There was a time when an incident such as this would have boiled over to a serious confrontation but our rather tame exchange was still enough to wake our guest from his slumber.

“Geez can’t you guys keep it down?” he said. It was, perhaps, the wrong question to ask, I had been struggling with that problem all morning. Nicola, of course, had no such worries and we both watched him with interest as he ran to the bathroom in his boxer shorts.

I scowled at her. “Leave him alone,” I whispered through clenched teeth.

“What? I was only looking; I mean he’s…he’s kinda well built for his age.” She tilted her head and smiled bashfully at me. “I can see why you like him.”

“Shush! Be quiet, will you…I wish I hadn’t said anything now.”

“Don’t be such a jerk, I was just pointing out…”

“I know what you were pointing out…but please drop it.”

“He’s cute though…only saying.”

“You’re not his type.”

“Don’t get all jealous, I’m not trying to steal your man.”

“Stoppit, he’s not my man, okay?”

“I can’t figure out what he saw in you though.”

“SHUSH! Don’t let him hear you say that or he’ll go crazy and try to beat me up.”

“Ha, that would be funny.”

“For you maybe!”

We were interrupted by Alex running the short distance from the bathroom back to the sofa bed where he wrapped the sheet around his waist like a towel and gathered up his clothes. “Oops, sorry about that,” he said but I knew that he had done it on purpose.

“It’s okay Alex,” I replied.

“I was talking to your sister, shmuck. Oh, and I like your cute pyjamas,” he said teasing me.

Nicola laughed an elbowed me in the ribs. “See, even your friends think you're a jerk.”

“Ouch, that hurt.” I pushed her arm away spilling some of her coffee and she retaliated with a swift punch to my thigh which impressed Alex.

“Nice punch Nicola,” said Alex. “Do you guys ever stop bickering?”

“Oh, this is us being nice to each other,” she said and I nodded in agreement.

“I don’t wanna be here when you start fighting then,” he said and dragged his t-shirt over his head, signalling the end of our free show.

Nicola left to go back upstairs and I went to the bedroom to change out of my cute pyjamas.

I was expecting Daniel to be still in bed asleep, but he was standing in front of his wardrobe naked. It wasn’t unusual but this time it felt awkward and I shut the door quickly and looked away; my bed, the desk, the window, anywhere except him. It was stupid of me and I knew it, but I didn’t want him to see me looking at him, not even for a second. It was unnecessary and I must have looked a total jerk as I frantically searched my drawer until he donned a pair of boxer shorts.

I was actually shaking a little as I stepped out of my pyjamas and pulled on a pair of briefs in record time, but there was no reason for me to feel nervous.

If anything, I think that Daniel found my antics quite amusing as he waited courteously by the door while I finished dressing before opening it. He always did that—although I had never asked him to—because the door faced my bed and it was the first thing that people saw when they opened it.

‘Things were a lot easier before I came out’.

* * * * *

“Robbie, is everything okay?” It was always good to hear Nathan’s voice but this time he sounded a little anxious and I could guess why.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I didn’t call yesterday. It’s been a little hectic over here.”

“Oh, that’s okay; I understand, so what are you doing today stranger?” The last couple of words rolled seductively off his tongue and I headed to the garden to escape prying eyes. He sounded hopeful and eager or maybe it was just my oversensitive loins craving for his touch after a period of forced abstinence. Perving on Alex that morning hadn’t helped and he was still indoors. Sue, like the good Samaritan that she was, had insisted that he and Luke stay for dinner.

I knew what Nathan was getting at, but I had bad news for him. “They won’t allow me out of the house on my own yet. Not until the doctors say it’s okay.” He tried to hide his disappointment from me but I heard him sigh and even over the phone I could see his face drop. “I’m sorry, really I am.”

“It’s not your fault, I just miss you. I can come over to see you if you want?” There was nothing that I wanted more than to see him but I didn’t want him to see Alex there too.

‘How can I explain that’?

I needed to talk to Nathan first and to do that I needed to be on my own with him, face to face. It was unlikely to happen anytime soon and if it did, then we probably wouldn’t want to waste our time talking. I was in a full-blown panic trying to think of an answer that didn’t sound as if I was pushing him away. “Robbie, are you still there?”

“Sorry, yes, but you can’t come over today; we have visitors and it’s gonna be awkward.” I hated myself for not being more honest with him but I didn’t have a choice.

“That’s okay,” he said, but he sounded dejected and hurt, which angered me.

‘What is happening to me; why is everything so difficult’?

“Nathan, baby, I’m so sorry. I want to see you believe me. Don’t think bad of me please.” I could hear him giggling. “Do you still love me?”

“Of course I still love you; there’ll be other times.”

“I suppose.”

“Of course there will, they can’t keep you locked up forever. My parents are okay with you staying over for a weekend. When you get out.”

He made it sound as if I were in prison and that was how it felt to me, even though I had never been inside a prison.

“Maybe I’ll get out early for good behaviour? I have to go back to the hospital on Thursday so I guess I’ll know more then, but I feel okay.”

“It must be driving you crazy having to stay indoors all the time?”

“Not anymore; I’m used to it now. In fact, I’m not looking forward to going out on my own. It’s a bit daunting. I think I’ve become institutionalised.”

“Robbie, I think that you have to be locked up for quite a time to become institutionalised, but hey, I can see where you're coming from.”

“You can?”

“No! But I can imagine it.”

I was lost. It seemed to happen fairly frequently with us; we would talk ourselves into circles where nothing made any sense or I would listen to him rambling on about something completely random just for the sake of hearing his voice.

“I wish that you were here with me,” I said.

“No, it would be better if you were here with me. I’ve been lying here thinking of all the things that we can do when we’re on our own.” His voice was low and seductive but frustratingly out of reach.

“I like it, tell me more,” I said and sat down on the grass. “Wait, what do you mean lying there, where are you?”

“In my room…in bed,” he said. “And guess what I’m wearing?”

“A gorilla outfit?”

It made him laugh. “No, not quite; I’m naked.”

“SHUTTUP! Really?”

“Uh huh. And do you know what I’m doing?”

“Err, a crossword?”

“No, I’m touching myself.”

‘How did I know he was gonna say that’.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“In the garden.”

“And what are you wearing?”

“Well, I’m not out here naked if that’s what you mean?”

“Come on, I’m serious. What are you wearing?”

I huffed. “If you must know, I’m wearing a grey t-shirt with a picture of a frog on the front.”

“Oh, I love frogs.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know.”

“What else?”

“Err, a pair of jeans.”

“Which ones?”

“The Levi’s.”

“Oh, they’re such a good fit on you.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said as I began to get into it. “They’re nice and tight around the butt.” I giggled when I heard him moan and I slapped my thigh. “I mean really, really, really tight.”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “What else.”

“Let me see, err, a woolly Union Jack bobble hat with a pair of ski goggles.”

“Love it,” he said, “you look so sexy in those things.”

“Are you serious? Okay, a pair of those really short ankle socks.”

“Hmm, what colour?”

“Pink!”

“Nice…keep it going.”

“And some scuba diving flippers.”

“Rubber?”

“Of course. Oh and a pair of...fluorescent speedos.”

“Oh, speedos!” he gasped.

“Extra snug!” He didn’t reply but I could hear him breathing and I laughed.

“Nathan, Nathan!”

“What?”

“Please tell me that you didn’t just jerk off.”

“I didn’t just jerk off,” he said in a low breathless voice.

“You did, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

* * * * *

Alex and Luke stayed until seven by which time my friend looked ready to leave. He had been on his best behaviour and seemed a little bewildered by all the attention.

“It was cool of you to invite me over, man, but I find it difficult to relax here, you know. Your house is too tidy.” It made me laugh, any house that didn’t have the front door kicked in would probably have been too tidy for Alex. His house definitely looked a little more worn in than ours, but I was sure that he preferred it that way.

“You know you can come over whenever you want,” I said. “If things get a little too much or if you're lonely. I can always throw some garbage around the place to make you feel more at home.”

He laughed but not at my joke. “You know what’s funny? Hearing you say garbage in an English accent. But I think that my brother will definitely wanna come back. to see his new friend.”

In the few hours that they were together, Luke and Amy formed a formidable partnership that scared the hell out of me and forced Daniel into hiding. Luke was particularly hyperactive, bordering on uncontrollable and I was somewhat relieved to see him leave.

Don surprised me when he offered to drive them home but I cringed when I found out that Sue was going too. I knew why and so did Alex, but I laughed when he called me later to tell me that his old man was indoors and sober when Sue walked them to the door. I apologised on behalf of my nosey guardians but Alex had reason to be optimistic.

“I had a talk with my dad when I got home and he’s promised me that he’s gonna turn things around. Things are gonna be different from now on,” said Alex. “I told him that the social workers will take us away from him if he doesn’t get his act together. I laid it on the line to him Robbie, because I can’t keep on doing all this. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I can’t control Luke; you saw today how crazy he can be. Sometimes it’s all too much for me man.”

I didn’t know what to say. Alex should never have been put in that position in the first place.

“I hope you're right,” I said but I wasn’t able to share my friend’s optimism.

“If he can stay sober then there’s a party that I’ve been invited to, do you wanna go?”

“A party?”

“Yeah, it’s when a group of people get together, hang out and play music and shit.”

“I know what a party is Alex, but I don’t know if I’d be allowed to go.”

“Well, if you can get out then you should come along, I guarantee you’ll have fun. You can even bring Nathan if you want, I’m still waiting to meet him.”

“Alex, you do realise that you're inviting two gay guys, do you really wanna do that?”

“Why not, dude, if people don’t like it then they can leave?”

It was cool of Alex to invite me and it was a very tempting offer but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to be going to a party with him, even if I was allowed to go, which was unlikely anyway.

* * * * *

On Thursday, I was back at the Northumberland Hills Hospital, only this time as an outpatient and it was more of an interview than a physical examination. Sue spent the last day of her holiday back at the place where she worked and she sat quietly in the corner as the doctor asked me a few questions before pronouncing me fit to resume everyday tasks without supervision.

“Does this mean that I can go out on my own?” I was addressing the doctor but looking at Sue.

“I would keep away from any physical sports for a while,” he said but that was his only recommendation. I could live with that; the only physical sport that interested me was a little-naked wrestling with Nathan. I waited until we left his office before going to work on Sue.

“Can I go to Nathan’s house then, this weekend?” She must have known that was coming because she had her answer already prepared but wasn’t what I was expecting.

“As long as his parents don’t object.”

“You mean I can? His mom and dad don’t mind.”

She frowned at me. “Don’t look so surprised; I’ve said all along that you could go out when you're better.”

I was wary; it seemed too good to be true.

“You really don’t mind?”

“No dear, as long as his parents are there and you behave yourself.”

‘Behave myself; what’s that supposed to mean’?

If it meant having to keep my clothes on, then I had no intention of behaving myself. However, I wasn’t sure what deal she had struck with Nathan’s parents, so I decided not to get my hopes up too soon. I grumbled a reply and tried not to look too excited.

“How long am I allowed to stay for?”

“That depends; how long do you want to stay?”

‘Forever’!

“A week?”

“No dear.”

“Five days then?”

“Sorry.”

“Four?”

We settled on three nights and I was ready to do cartwheels but there was more good news to follow. After tracking down Lorna, she told me that Jamie had finally gone home. He had been in the hospital for nearly six weeks with an infection that came close to killing him but despite his outwardly frail appearance, he was a fighter. As tough as old boots, as my mom used to say.

I thought that it was cool that we had both pulled through from life-threatening situations and Lorna had played a big part in both cases. I hugged her as always and before I left she gave me a piece of paper with an address and phone number on it.

“Jamie wanted me to give this to you, in case you felt like visiting him at home.”

I recognised the name of the street and it wasn’t that far.

‘I will definitely do that’.

Later, on the bus home, we bumped into Fran’s friend Laura and she called me over to sit with her. She wanted to know how I was feeling after my accident and I told her that I had just been to the hospital and was almost fully recovered.

“I still have to go back there for another check-up in a couple of months and I still have some problems remembering stuff, but I’m a lot better than I was.”

“It was big news at school,” she said. “People were saying that you may have brain damage or worse. I’m glad you're better. Do they know who did it yet?”

“No, I don’t think so and I don’t really care now. It’s over and I’m okay, that’s all that matters.”

Laura smiled, she never overindulged in conversation and this was already the longest chat that we had ever had.

“I’m sorry you broke up with Fran. You know, some people were saying stuff about you.”

I snapped my head sideways and she looked away nervously.

“What kind of stuff?”

“It doesn’t matter…it’s only gossip,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Well, you can tell me anyway. I won't be annoyed…I promise.”

She still seemed a little apprehensive, although it didn’t take a lot of working out.

“There are rumours that you’re gay and that’s why that guy pushed you down the stairs…you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

“Oh, I see.” She smiled nervously at me as I considered my answer. “Who’s been saying this?”

“Is it true then?” She seemed hopeful for some kind of confirmation but I guess I just wasn’t prepared to lie anymore so I pleaded the fifth.

“You just said that I didn’t have to answer.” We both knew though that anything other than an absolute denial would add substance to the school gossip machine, but it didn’t matter that much to me anymore. I was certain that come September, everyone would know anyway and maybe that was a good thing.

An hour later, I was on Skype. “I got some news,” I said as Nathan’s image filled my computer screen.

“Is it to do with ‘Take That’, getting back together for a tour?” He said. “Because, I already know about it, and I am so going to go to that gig in Toronto.”

“No,” I said laughing. “It’s not about Take That, it’s about me.”

“You’re going on tour?” he asked.

“No, dickhead, but I’m allowed to stay at your house if you still want me to that is?”

“You better not be kidding me because you just made me jizz in my pants?”

“Really, can I see?”

“No, but I’ll save it for you.”

“Yuck, that’s gross!”

“So they finally let you out, huh? When can you be here?”

“When do you want me?”

“I want you all the time,” he said. “Can you come now?”

“I can come anytime.”

“I know; I’ve seen you, remember? But can you come over here?”

“I doubt it, Nathan, that’s quite a distance, but you could probably do it.”

He laughed. “I might need a bit of help with that one.”

“I can give you all the help that you want…but is it gonna be…I mean are we gonna be able to…you know?”

“Are we gonna be able to have sex you mean?”

“Yeah,” I said checking over my shoulder for any uninvited eavesdroppers.

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes!”

“Make up your mind.”

“Yes, I mean no. That’s the rules. You’ll have to sleep in the basement.”

“As usual. And where will you be?”

“In my room, of course.”

“Oh!”

There was a silence, but I knew that Nathan would have a plan. “Why don’t you come over on Saturday morning and we can spend the whole day together.”

It was an irresistible offer and even if we weren’t allowed to be naughty, I knew that his parents wouldn’t object to us being affectionate.

“Okay, that would be cool, I guess.”

“You don’t have to guess; it will definitely be cool because I’m gonna be here and you're gonna have fun. We’re gonna make a movie!”