The Cockney Canuck - 106. Chapter 106 Thanksgiving

Precisely one week, one day, and fourteen hours after walking out of Nathan’s life, I received a surprise phone call from his sister Karen. She wanted to know if I was still coming to their house for Thanksgiving on Monday, but really it was an excuse to get the low down on what was going on.

“I don’t think Nathan would appreciate me turning up for dinner tomorrow.”

“He hasn’t talked to me, so I wouldn’t know,” she said. “But he hasn’t been himself lately. He’s been very down and miserable. I don’t know what you guys are arguing about, but for goodness sake, work it out, will you?”

I didn’t know what to say. She made it sound like it was just a tiff, a lover’s quarrel, which could be sorted out over lunch.

“I don’t think we can work it out, Karen.”

“Nonsense. You guys were made for one another. It’ll be such a pity if you waste it.” Only a few weeks ago I would have been saying the same thing, and there was a big part of me that wanted to believe her, but she obviously wasn’t speaking on Nathan’s behalf. He probably didn’t even know she was calling me.

When I asked if he was there, I was relieved to discover he was out shopping for clothes. “I can ask him to call you when he gets back.” She sounded hopeful but must have known she was wasting her breath.

“No, it’s best if you don’t.”

“But if he wanted to call, you would talk to him, wouldn’t you? I mean, you wouldn’t hang up on him or anything?”

“NO! I would never do that.” My enthusiastic response surprised even me, and to Karen, it was a reason to be optimistic. She made no secret of the fact that she wanted to see us back together and would do whatever she could to achieve it.

“You don’t mind if I tell him we talked,” she said.

“No, I suppose not, as long as he doesn’t think I called you.”

She tutted her disapproval. “You're as stubborn as he is. You belong together, don’t forget that.”

I wasn’t sure what to think of our conversation, but it was nice to talk to her, and I made sure I saved her number. I would try to keep in touch with his family. I didn’t want to lose contact with them just because Nathan was being an asshole.

*     *     *

“Are you gonna help me or not?” Daniel was already loaded up like a pack mule and waiting for me to lift my end of a fold-up table from another generation. We were in the shed. A dark, damp, and foul-smelling storage hut at the end of the decking, where no one willfully ventured. It was the most inhospitable of places but a veritable hive of unusual if mostly dilapidated gadgets.

I picked up an ancient, rusty, vice-like object, and aimed it at him like a gun. “What’s this, some kind of torture instrument?”

“It’s an apple peeler.”

“What does it do?”

“It’s a warning device. You turn the handle, and it makes a noise like a siren.”

When I tried, it only made an annoying squeaky sound. “You're pulling my leg?”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s an apple peeler.”

“I knew that.”

“No, you didn’t, now let’s go before dad starts moaning.”

I wasn’t bothered by Don’s moaning; I was already under house arrest, there wasn’t much more he could do to me. I ignored Daniels protests and looked around the cramped space. I had never been in there before and for a good reason. It was where they kept the lawnmower, weed wacker, and similar back-breaking, gardening tools which I avoided like the plague. It was too cluttered and dirty for me to want to spend much time in there, but before we left, something grabbed my attention. High up on the top shelf was an old, red, rotary dial telephone. Daniel rolled his eyes as I stood on a toolbox to reach it.

“Look, it’s the Batphone.”

When I lifted the receiver to speak to Bruce Wayne, I noticed a pack of cigarettes tucked behind it. They were new and looked entirely out of place surrounded by rusty tools and cobwebs. The only people in the house who smoked were Nicola—very occasionally and only other peoples—and Alex, but the stuff he smoked wasn’t sold in packets. Neither of them had any reason to hide cigarettes in the shed, but apparently, someone in the family did.

I asked Daniel if they were his, but I think I would have noticed if he was a secret smoker. He wasn’t interested in my discovery, so I shoved them in my pocket and helped carry the table indoors, where Don was overseeing last-minute preparations for what looked like a banquet.

“Put the table in the corner, please boys and I’ll get Nicola to clean it up. We’re gonna need some more of those fold-up chairs.”

“Then you can get changed,” added Sue.

I looked down at my t-shirt, which was clean on that morning. “But I’m already dressed.”

“Put a shirt on dear. I want you looking nice.”

I thought I looked okay as I was.

‘No one said I had to dress up. Don’t tell me I have to wear a fucking tie as well’.

If that was the case, then I was well and truly screwed. I had three ties, but they were all at Nathan’s house, left there after one of our more adventurous games in the summer. I stifled a giggle as I recalled our botched and ultimately farcical attempt at role-playing while inspecting my wrists. Any incriminating marks had long since disappeared, but I needed him to return my ties before he used them on someone else, if he hadn’t already.

‘On second thoughts, he can keep them’!

Thanksgiving was a new experience for me. It wasn’t observed in England, with no real equivalent either. I didn’t quite get what it was all about or what we were supposed to be celebrating.

“It’s a family thing,” said Alex, but he didn’t know much either. He and his brother had even less experience of family etiquette than I did, and neither of us was looking forward to a houseful of extended family.

He was in my room to help me choose a shirt and stayed for the show as I stripped to my waist, flaunting my pale body in front of his hungry eyes. I enjoyed him watching me even if he had seen it all before.

It was more than six-weeks since Nathan had last wrapped his silky lips around my dick and as I struggled through the withdrawal process, I seemed to be in a perpetual state of arousal. Masturbating at every given opportunity helped, and that week, I may well have set a new personal best, with regular hot baths in the evenings and a shower every morning. It wasn’t the same though. I missed my boyfriend’s lingering blow jobs, silky smooth touch, and the warm snugness of his insides.

*     *     *

The kitchen was in full swing. Like a television cook show. Sue described it as organised chaos, but it played havoc with my sense of order and I quickly backed away after showing her my new, more formal, button-up shirt.

They were expecting Twenty guests for dinner, half of them children and mostly teenagers. Don didn’t have any relatives, so they were all from Sues half of the family, like her sister, brother-in-law, and their two kids, who I had met before. She also had a younger brother who was rarely mentioned, and I had never seen. He had just remarried and was bringing along his new wife, and her two teenage children from a previous marriage.

The first to arrive though were Sues rather odd parents, Deaf and Dementia. I tried my best to avoid them, but my gradual progress towards the stairs was spotted, and I was called back into the kitchen to receive further instructions.

“It won’t hurt you to talk to them for a while,” said Sue.

“Why?” I didn’t see much point. Only one of them would remember me, and the other wouldn’t understand a word I was saying.

“It’s not just them, Robbie. Everyone will be here, and I don’t want you hiding in the basement all day. They’re your family now, and they want to get to know you.”

I didn’t agree, her family had been lukewarm at best to my sudden appearance in the Taylor household, and I found their constant questions invasive and condescending.

“What do you want me to talk about?”

“The normal stuff. I’m sure you know how to talk to people. Just be friendly; they’ve hardly seen anything of you.”

“Do you want me to tell them I’ve been suspended from school for fighting and just broke up with my boyfriend?”

Sue stared hard into my eyes. She knew what I was doing. “No, dear. There are some things they won't want to know, and they wouldn’t understand. So it’s best they don’t find out.” She smiled at me, but I wasn’t able to do the same or even acknowledge her statement, which I found insulting and hurtful.

“You're ashamed of me. Is that it?”

Sue’s face turned red. “Not today, Robbie. Don’t push me today.” I could see Nicola watching us from across the kitchen, willing me not to take it further, as I stood grim-faced in front of her mom.

“I won't lie for you,” I said. “I’m not a freak; there’s nothing wrong with me.”

“I didn’t call you a freak. They wouldn’t understand, that’s all. It wouldn’t achieve anything.” Our heated conversation hadn’t gone unnoticed. Don stood large in the doorway ready to assert his authority as the dominant male. His presence was a clear threat and his expression, a warning for me to back off.

I was proving to be his worst nightmare, continuously causing him problems, and exceeding all expectations of a troubled teenager. I had already been grounded more times than Concorde, but it no longer bothered me. Proof of how ineffective a punishment it was, for someone without a social life.

Our argument frittered out when Nicola called her mom away to help with whatever she was cooking, allowing me the opportunity to escape. As I turned towards the basement though, Don blocked my path and pulled me aside.

“We’ve put a lot of work into making it nice for everyone today,” he said. “Please don’t ruin it.”

I listened without making eye contact but offered no guarantee. “Can I go now?”

“You can stay and talk to the guests.”

“Fine!” I huffed and began walking back to the kitchen, but he stopped me with a hand to my shoulder.

“Robbie, this attitude of yours, has to stop. I spoke to Mr Andrews this morning, and we think it’ll be a good idea to arrange for some professional counselling.”

“A psychiatrist you mean. You think I’m nuts?”

“No, Robbie. We don’t think your nuts, but there are issues that need to be sorted out, and Friday was an example.”

“I don’t believe you, I stood up for myself, and now you want to send me to a mental asylum.”

He shook his head and walked away. “I can’t talk to you. You won't listen.”

“We’ll discuss this later, dear,” said Sue and I frowned at her.

‘She’s in on it too; it’s a conspiracy. They want to lock me up’.

I turned on Nicola who looked amused. “It’s not funny.”

“Locking you up in an asylum, really? Don’t you think you're exaggerating a little? Speaking to a counsellor would be a good thing,” she said.

“We’re concerned about you,” said Sue. “Your moods are getting worse and more frequent. Sometimes I’m frightened to talk to you because I don’t know how you're gonna react.”

“I’ve had a bad couple of weeks, that’s all. Everything’s going wrong.”

“Well, maybe by talking to someone unconnected with the family we can get to the bottom of these problems.”

“He’s the problem,” I said pointing to the living room where Don was talking to Sue’s parents. “He’s never accepted me and he won’t. He treats me different from everyone else, and you let him. You're always sticking up for him and making excuses.”

“That isn’t true, dear, and you know it.”

“IT IS TRUE.”

“Robbie, I’m trying to help you, but I won’t put up with you shouting at me all the time. You're gonna do what we tell you to do, and today you are going to spend SOME TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY!”

“Okay. Blimey, you don’t have to shout.”

*     *     *

I was beginning to see our battles as part of an ongoing war. I was the underdog or revolutionary, employing guerrilla-like tactics to disrupt the ruling dictatorship. In a head to head battle, I couldn’t possibly win, but maybe I could defeat them over time, with a war of attrition and the help of sympathetic underground resistance.

Lately, there were signs that Don had stepped up his campaign, probably fuelled by the news of my split with his arch-enemy, Nathan. He never liked him and would have viewed this as a significant victory. Now there was a good chance Don wouldn’t have to see him again. It was unlikely my ex-boyfriend would want to visit when I was there, even if he remained friends with Daniel, which I hoped he would.

Don’s overall position hadn’t changed since the day he found out. What had seemed at first like small concessions, were soon withdrawn the moment anyone showed up at the door. If we were on our own, or with immediate family, he was generally quite pleasant. My sexuality didn’t seem to bother him too much then. The bigger the audience, however, the less tolerant he became and the more he would try to cover it up. This was when he was at his most dangerous, fearful of being undermined in front of his friends and extended family by a subordinate from within his own ranks. He became unpredictable and prone to overreact to what he deemed impertinent behaviour.

Unsurprisingly, that day I felt as if I was choking under the constant weight of expectation. His eyes were on me the whole time, and he was never far away, eavesdropping on my already uncomfortable conversations. I wondered what these people must have thought of me, after making it perfectly clear that I was only talking to them under duress. There could be no mistaking my body language or my often quite rude expressions of boredom.

They put up with me because they had to, but I gave them no reason to like me, and I couldn’t blame them for being wary of someone they viewed as hostile.

After a while, it got so bad, I felt physically sick, but when I tried to retreat to the safety of the basement, I was ordered back upstairs by a determined Sue.

Later, I watched from the sidelines as her sister handed out small gifts to Nicola, Daniel, and Amy then apologised to Sue for forgetting about me. It didn’t matter, I didn’t want her tacky gift anyway.

‘She can shove it where the sun don’t shine’.

When it was finally time to eat, I had lost my appetite, and my first Thanksgiving dinner was destined for the garbage until Alex came to the rescue.

“It’s a shame to see good food go to waste,” he said before helping himself to my turkey and potato. We were sitting with the rest of the under-eighteens in the basement while the adults sat upstairs downing bottles of beer and wine.

“You can relax now,” said Nicola as she squeezed between us on the couch. “They’ll leave you alone.”

I didn’t really care at that point. I had already decided I wasn’t going back upstairs, not for anyone.

“Thanksgiving stinks,” I said. “It’s the worst day I’ve had over here. Next year, I’ll make sure I’m somewhere else.”

Alex stopped chewing and cocked his head around Nicola. “Are you kidding? This is the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had. Usually, it’s just me, Luke, and Brad. Last year my old man was arrested for being drunk outside the town hall. When the let him out, he came home and threw up everywhere.”

Nicola and I both pulled a face and then watched him demolish the rest of my meal. He could eat more than Daniel, and I put together, and never seemed to put on any weight.

*     *     *

When it started to get dark the noise from the kitchen became more prominent. The adults were getting a little tipsy and kids beginning to tire. Except, of course, for Luke. Alex had put a lot of effort into controlling his troublesome brother and prevent him from terrorising the guests. He had been good all day, but the usual tantrums accompanied efforts to get him to bed. Alex always seemed to be the only one he would listen to although his methods were a little unconventional. My friend’s reward was an evening off and he decided to spend it with his girlfriend. I didn’t blame him for wanting to get out of the house for a while, but I was narked that he preferred Jenny’s company to my own. I suppose a houseful of strangers was enough to tip the balance in her favour as well as a few other considerations.

Sue was under the impression that Alex was taking Jenny to the beach but I knew better.

‘Who goes to the beach in October’?

“You could’ve gone with him if you weren’t grounded,” said Don, inadvertently surrendering one of the family’s closely guarded secrets.

It was more than likely he would take her back to his house where they would have the place to themselves. I tried not to think about it, but graphic images of them entwined in increasingly depraved acts of sexual gratification, kept popping into my head. I found it repulsive. He could have done all those things with me.

I was daydreaming when I noticed everyone watching me. Sue’s brother-in-law was waiting for an answer to a question I hadn’t heard, but my hesitancy played nicely into Sue’s hands.

“He’s been grounded because he had a spot of trouble at school, didn’t you dear?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing serious, I hope.” Sue’s sister sounded concerned but looked eager to get the lowdown. She had a better chance of being crowned Miss World than hearing the truth from my adopted parents, and that definitely wasn’t going to happen.

“He got into a little altercation, nothing serious,” said Don. He beamed a smile as he watched me fidgeting in the spotlight, then quickly changed the subject. The Danger was averted, and he could relax until the next alcohol-induced verbal clanger.

“I was told you didn’t eat your dinner,” said Sue.

“I wasn’t hungry.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just, today made me nervous.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t realise it was that difficult for you.” She tried putting her arm around me, but I pushed it away. “There’s plenty of food left, I’ll make up a dinner for you and put it aside. You’ll probably feel hungry later, and you can’t miss out on your first Thanksgiving dinner.” She sounded almost human for a minute like she really cared. I wasn’t being fooled anymore. She was happy because I was under control and hadn’t disrupted their precious day.

I was getting to know how it worked. Now they would be all loving and offer me rewards for conforming. I knew what they were doing, I just couldn’t stop them.

*     *     *

Sue’s younger brother’s wife’s eldest son was called Tommy, but he looked more like a Humphrey or a Hubert. He was well dressed, private-schooled, and talked with an air of confidence. In England, he would have been labelled a toff, but in the supposedly classless Canadian society, he was simply well-off.

I talked to him because he looked like he was the closest boy to my own age and because he had been watching me for most of the afternoon. Up until then, like the rest of my new cousins, I had either completely blanked him or stared harshly at him until he looked away, but it didn’t stop him.

He was also a new addition to the family and related only through his mother’s recent marriage to Sue’s brother. It was the first time he and his sister had met any of our family, and I got the feeling he wasn’t entirely happy to be spending the day with strangers.

His mother had been less than gracious when Don introduced us earlier, looking disdainfully down her pointed nose at me. I wanted to tell her to fuck off, and I might have done if Don hadn’t had his hand on my shoulder.

“You don’t have to like everyone you meet, Robbie,” he said afterwards. “It’s called diplomacy.”

“It’s called lying,” I said.

“Well, like it or not, she’s part of the family now, which means we have to make an effort to be civil to her, even if we don’t want to.” I knew how it worked, but I had no intention of following his hypocritical doctrine.

Tommy was sitting on his own in the upstairs living room, looking thoroughly fed up, when I sat down at the other end of the couch to say hello. It was a bold manoeuvre which wasn’t appreciated. He glanced scornfully at me for a second or two before returning to the game on his phone.

“I’m Robbie.”

“I know,” he replied, but his eyes never left his screen. I was expecting him to be a little more receptive, but I didn’t want to look pushy, so I sat and watched TV for a few minutes. My presence may have put him off, and I heard the tell-tale flat tone that signalled the end of the game followed by a disgruntled groan as he dropped his new iPhone in his lap.

He glanced at me once again, and I smiled, but he made no attempt to converse or be friendly. I was about to give him up as a lost cause when he reached over to shake my hand.

“My names Tommy.” It was unusual for a kid, but I didn’t mind the physical contact. His hand was warm and delicate, unlike his face which was a little odd like his mother. It would have been generous of me to call him cute, but he had a certain sex appeal, and I was convinced he was gay.

‘Why else was he staring at me’?

He was taller than me, even when we were sitting and had a pale complexion with shiny jet black hair that just about covered his ears.

With six weeks of enforced abstinence under my belt, I was finding it difficult to conceal my interest in this strange-looking boy. I thought his pointed chin made him look dignified, and the small gap between his front teeth was boyishly cute. I had neither the time or inclination for small talk, so I took a deep breath and went straight for the jugular.

“Are you gay?”

He nearly jumped out of his seat but laughed as he spoke. “Am I what?”

“I asked if you were gay.” My expression was deadpan. “Do you like guys?”

“I know what it means.” He stared at me with a mocking smile which I didn’t like, but he hadn’t answered my question.

“Well, are you?”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“I asked you first,” I said, meeting his eyes until he was forced to look away.

“What made you think that?” He kept a thin smile as he taunted me, which only convinced me more.

“You look gay?”

He laughed again. “I do? No one’s ever said that to me before. So do you like me is that it? Are you one of them?”

‘One of them’?

He must have noticed my face drop. I was wrong about him being shy and probably wrong about him being gay.

“Didn’t you know?” I said.

“No, I’ve never met you before, why would I know that?”

“You knew my name.”

“So, what’s that got to do with it?” Look, you’ve only just met me, and you're asking me if I’m gay. Don’t you think that’s a little forward? I thought the English were supposed to be reserved.”

“You’ve been watching me since you got here.” My voice was calm, but I was wrong-footed by his unexpected rebuke.

“Ha, why would I wanna look at you. Did you think I was interested in you, is that it?”

I was hurt but held on to my temper, focusing on the TV. “No, that’s not what I thought.”

“Well, I’m sorry to ruin your day, but I’m not gay.” He ended the conversation by picking up his phone and going back to his game, leaving me feeling awkward and embarrassed.

I waited a while before mumbling. “Don’t worry you haven’t ruined my day.”

He paused and turned his head towards me with a puzzled expression, perhaps wondering why I was still there. I wasn’t really sure myself.

“Why don’t you try your luck with someone else,” he said. “And stop bugging me.”

“Have you got a girlfriend?”

He huffed and shook his head; looking surprised, but there was a hint of a smile there as well. “You're persistent aren’t you.”

“I just wanted to know.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t believe you.”

“Oh my God. You are such an asshole. How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone? I’m really not gay, okay?”

I nodded and started playing with my watch, but I refused to budge and surprisingly neither did he. From the corner of my eye, I could see him glancing at me every so often, and the standoff continued.

“I bet you’ve never had a girlfriend, have you?” I said quietly.

“I’ve had plenty.”

“Yeah, right.” I smiled sarcastically at him before acknowledging Sue’s parents as the walked past us to sit on the other side of the room.

Tommy didn’t even look at them. “How many girlfriends have you had then, queer boy,” he said.

“I’ve had one, which is probably one more than you. How does that feel?”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone.”

“Why can’t you admit you're gay?” I whispered.

“Because I’m not.”

“But you're curious.”

“No,”

“That’s a lie. All boys are curious. Do you have any friends?”

“I have plenty of friends.”

I took my time waiting until no one could hear me before my next question.

“Have you ever jerked off with them?”

“No!”

“Jerked off thinking about them then?”

“You're not very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. You can tell me. I won't say anything.”

He stood up and tried to walk away.

“Wait a minute,” I said and grabbed his wrist to pull him back. “Can I ask you something?”

“Haven’t you asked enough questions?”

“Are you a virgin?” He pulled his arm away furiously as I laughed and jumped up to block his path. “Well?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“That means yes,” I said.

“It means, it’s none of your business.” He tried pushing past me to get to the stairs but I moved across to stand in his way.

“Only a virgin would say that.”

He huffed. “Why don’t you find someone else to hit on?”

“There isn’t anyone else.”

“You're crazy, but it was nice meeting you—cousin.” He left me at the top of the stairs taking them two at a time and passing Daniel halfway.

“He’s a strange kid?” I said.

“I think he’s just shy.”

“No, he’s not. He’s an asshole.”

Daniel laughed before waving across the kitchen to his mom.

“I’m going now,” he said, and then turned to me. “Oh, err, I probably should tell you. I’m going to Nathan’s house.”

My stomach tightened as soon as he mentioned my ex-boyfriend’s name.

“Why?”

“Err, because he’s my friend.”

“I know that, but you don’t normally go there.”

“No, because he’s usually with you.” It was perfectly logical, but I still didn’t like it. “I’m not gonna stop being his friend just because you broke up.”

“I don’t expect you to. In fact, it’s good that you're still friends.”

“Well, his family will all be there tonight, so we won’t get much chance to play any games.”

I tensed up at the word games, even though I realised he was talking videos. As hard as I tried not to let it bother me, it did. I wasn't happy that he was going to see Nathan’s family while I had to stay indoors with my closeted cousin.

I followed Daniel into the front garden to get some fresh air.

“Do you want me to pass on a message?” I thought about it and shook my head.

‘Yeah, tell him to go fuck himself’.

I was convinced this was one of Nathan’s little games. He had deliberately invited Daniel to his house to wind me up. Make me jealous even.

‘Well, it hasn’t worked, asshole’!

I kicked one of the perennials in frustration, creating a shower of leaves, then looked up to see Tommy standing in the doorway. He was laughing at my mini tantrum.

“Haven’t you got anything better to do than watch me?”

“No,” he said.

“Really? So you do like me after all.”

“I didn’t say that.”

I walked up to him, edging as close as I dared, expecting him to back away but he stood his ground, looking me nervously in the eye.

“If you wanna have some fun, I don’t mind,” I said and smiled.

“What kind of fun?” he said.

“I think you know what I mean.” When he didn’t answer, I casually walked around him into the house, leaving him on the doorstep seemingly frozen by temptation. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

It was a game which I was enjoying playing for the first time. I must have picked up a few tricks from Nathan, but Tommy made it too easy for me and I almost felt sorry for him in the end. Whether he was gay or not, didn’t really matter, he was definitely tempted, and it boosted my confidence on a day when it had all but disappeared.

Without anywhere to go to be alone, there was little chance of us doing anything even if he did decide to play and I knew that all along. I was only teasing him; were no plans to take it any further, because I didn’t expect him to say yes.

I didn’t expect him to have a car at his disposal either, or a driver’s licence.

*     *     *

His mom had a brand new Chevy Malibu. It was big and roomy, with leather upholstery and real wood finishes. The seats were comfortable, but Tommy’s driving was perilously substandard.

“Are you sure you can drive?”

“Yes, I have my licence, don’t worry. My mom lets me drive all the time. I have to drive them home tonight because they’re drinking.”

Hampered by nerves, it still took him several attempts to pull out of a parking space big enough for a bus.

I directed him to the nearest shopping plaza, which was a five-minute drive away and he parked at the back, one of only three cars in a parking lot designed to for maybe a hundred. Any other day it would have been busy.

He switched off the engine and turned to face me in the semi-darkness with his hands still gripping the wheel.

“You're new to this too aren’t you?” he said quietly.

“Yeah. I’ve never done it in a car before.”

“How many guys have you? You know.”

“You’ll be the fourth.”

“If you don’t want to, we can go back. I won't say anything.”

“I don’t mind,” I said. “I want to, but you’ll have to do the honours.” I pointed at his crotch and smiled.

“Right,” he said, but he looked hesitant almost as though he wasn’t expecting to have to reveal himself. He took a deep breath and then fumbled nervously with his belt and zipper.

When his dick came into view, I giggled, and he frowned at me, but I wasn’t laughing at his penis. There was nothing wrong with that, other than being a little limp. It was the ridiculous situation, which I found amusing.

Then with his pants and underwear at his knees, he sat back in his seat, nervously staring at the roof, while he waited for me to keep my end of the bargain. I had promised him the best experience ever, a hundred times better than jerking off, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to live up to my own exaggerated billing.

I shouldn’t have worried. A few tugs with my hand straightened him out, and the rest was simple. His dick was a bit smaller than Nathans but smooth and easy to manage with minimal scent. He was clean and well kept. Even his pubes looked as if they had been trimmed. They lightly covered a sizeable wrinkled sack which I was almost able to reach with my chin as he squirmed in his seat.

My performance may have been dull compared to my ex-boyfriend’s slick routine, but I was still able to make short work of my inexperienced cousin.

It wasn’t long before his breathing reached a crescendo and I glanced up to see his eyes roll back in his head. He tensed up, bucking his hips and nearly choking me as his body twitched and shook. He shot three or four healthy streams, coating the back of my throat in a particularly pungent yoghurt before finally melting into his seat completely spent.

I opened my door to spit out his seed, before wiping my mouth with my sleeve and sitting back in my seat to casually check my phone. There was a text from Alex who wanted to know where I was, but I didn’t reply.

It was a while before Tommy was able to catch his breath and recover sufficiently to tuck himself away. He wouldn’t look at me, and neither of us said a word until he parked outside my house.

“Thank you would be nice,” I said, but he flicked his eyes towards me for only a second.

“You're the one who wanted it.”

I found his response astonishing, but entirely in character, confirming beyond any doubt that he was indeed an asshole of the highest order.

‘Did I expect him to be grateful’?

That would have made him gay, so I guess there wasn’t much chance of that. Instead, he made it sound as if he was doing me a favour and maybe he was. I could understand his embarrassment, but I didn’t buy into his shame. I didn’t force him to do anything, and he didn’t agree to it because he felt sorry for me either.

I got out of the car and slammed the door shut, but as I walked up the driveway, he ran after me.

“You won't say anything.”

“Of course I will.” His eyes opened wide with fear, and he grabbed my sleeve to stop me just shy of the door. I turned my head to look into his now frightened eyes. “Are you really that scared of someone finding out?”

“Yes.”

I was in the same position, but I couldn’t remember ever being as scared as that. “No, I won’t say anything.”

“Not ever?”

“Not even in my memoirs.”

It was a promise that would prove impossible to keep.

As I walked through the door, Sue called me into the kitchen.

“Where did you go?”

“I was just out with…?” I looked at her blankly as I searched my mind for his name.

Sue wasn’t impressed and thought I was stalling. “Tommy,” she said.

“Yeah, Tommy. I was just showing him the town. His mom knew we were going out.”

She folded her arms and looked suspiciously at me. “So you drove into town?”

“Tommy did, I was just a passenger. What did I do wrong, he has a licence?”

“Did you forget you were grounded?”

“Shit! I forgot.” She didn’t believe me, of course, but it was the truth. Totally blindsided by the thought of some fun, it hadn’t even crossed my mind.”

She shook her head and then relaxed. She had been on the wine; her eyes were already glazed over.

“I won’t mention it to Don, he was proud of you today.”

“He was?”

“Yes, he thought you were well-behaved. He’s been singing your praises, so I don’t want to spoil the illusion.”

‘Illusion’?

I wasn’t sure if she expected me to be excited to hear of Don’s approval rating or grateful that she had managed to cover up for me so as not to spoil his illusion. Either way, I was reluctant to offer her even a morsel of gratitude.

I shouldn’t have been grounded in the first place and the only reason Don was happy, was because I was subservient to his wishes and kept my mouth shut. I was too scared not to! Scared enough to make me feel physically sick and to look for solace in a stranger’s penis.

As far as I was concerned, it was all my adopted parent’s fault anyway. They were the ones ultimately responsible for my bad temper and errant ways. I didn’t need a counsellor to tell me that.

“It was good of you to make friends with Tommy,” she said. “He seems like a nice boy.”

I couldn’t help smiling; I could still taste him in my mouth as she spoke.

“He’s okay, I suppose. I don’t think we’re gonna be friends, but I definitely showed him a good time.”

I watched her face drop as she contemplated what I had said before dismissing it with a fake smile. I could almost read her mind as I headed to the bathroom to rinse my mouth.