Egaran Stars - 59. Reinard- Noreen's Help

Reinard slid out of the chair as the door opened, his tail tucking around his body defensively. He had been here a lot already, but this place always made him feel like he was walking into a battle, preparing to fight for his sanity. The fox wondered if that was a normal response to having your life examined.

A tigress stepped out of the room, eyes blotchy, and Reinard wondered what she had told them. Probably nothing good. It made him a little more determined to keep his secrets, though that was slowly proving more difficult than he could have imagined. No wonder his segal never let him go anywhere; the universe was determined to see him found.

He stepped into the room cautiously, finding Noreen adjusting the plant on the table. More Nepáta. At this point, Reinard didn’t know which was doing more work keeping him from dying, the plant or the Xanar. Then again, he hadn’t had those urges since he and Galen had fucked. At least, not as strongly. It was a bitter relief, and just thinking about it made Reinard wonder why he had stopped. It would have solved so many of his problems.

“Ah, good afternoon. Are you my appointment for two?” Noreen smiled down at him.

“Yeah. I’ve been here all week, why…?”

“Reinard? I should have known,” Noreen smiled as the door closed. “Please, have a seat.”

Glancing up at the Xanar warily, the fox pulled himself onto a couch, making sure he stayed away from the edges. He didn’t think Noreen would have trapped them, but then, it didn’t hurt to be cautious.

“Before we begin, I would like to mention that I keep up regularly with Alliance news.”

His entire body went into a fight or flight response, Reinard launching himself toward the door, only to be blocked by the Xanar.

“Please Reinard. You are a patient of mine. Do you have so little trust in me that you believe I would give you up? Your safety is of the utmost concern here,” Noreen said, making sure their hands stayed far away from the Faro. “After all the work we’ve done to help you… well, it wouldn’t make much sense for me to throw that away. Now please, have a seat.”

Gekkering in a mixture of fear and unease, the fox backed away, watching the Xanar as he made his way back onto the couch.

“That’s better,” Noreen smiled. “So, Reinard Artego, I would like to ask, how are you doing? I know there aren’t many who keep up with Faro news, but to have your segal’s death so publicly broadcast must have terrified you.”

Reinard nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. The Nepáta worked its magic, his body relaxing just slightly as he inhaled.

“It shouldn’t have followed me here. What do Egarans care of my clan? Why would they flash his picture for everyone to see?”

“I noticed they didn’t have a picture of you. Was that intentional?”

The fox nodded again, his eyes closing.

“There are no pictures of me,” he said quietly. “There never have been.”

“Does that upset you?”

“It makes me feel like no one would remember me, no one would care when I’m gone. And it’s too late now, I’ve lost my pattern.”

“No Reinard. What I see is a dye. Your pattern, your identity is still there, just hidden under a mask. It will fade one day. Hopefully when your people no longer remember what your clan did. Though I will admit that may take a while. In my experience, Faro have exceptional memories.”

“But what did my clan do? Why are we so bad that we have to be killed off?” the fox demanded.

“From what I recall, your clan was responsible for an Imperial plot to take over your home system. Once it was uncovered, the Alliance cracked down hard for a period, hastening your people’s admittance to the interstellar government. There are likely those who still bear you ill will toward things you yourself had no control over.”

“I finally found a place to be happy, a place where I’m loved. And now they’re going to come and take it away from me,” Reinard shuddered. “It’s what always happens. Why would I think I could be happy with Galen? All I’ve done is killed him too.”

“Nonsense. Why would they travel a hundred lightyears to ruin your life? You are of no concern any more; for all they know, an Egaro finished the job for them. Besides, the report claimed that you didn’t survive the blast that killed your segal. Why would they think otherwise?”

His head was starting to hurt, Reinard squeezing his eyes shut against the memories of the explosion. Metal flying, burning pain flooding through him as Faro screamed and ran...

“Reinard, I want you to look at me,” Noreen said.

The Faro’s eyes snapped open, scanning the room almost frantically before settling onto the Xanar.

“You are safe here. There is nothing that will hurt you in this office,” Noreen continued. “Do you have your inhaler?”

The Faro nodded shakily, reaching into his robes. He pulled out the small object, staring at it uncertainly.

“It is okay to accept the help Reinard. I want you to take a breath of your medicine, and then tell me what you were thinking of.”

“Do I have to?” he nearly whimpered.

“You never have to do anything. But if you do not confront the memories, they will continue to haunt you,” Noreen said quietly.

Reinard pushed the bottle into his nose, spraying it, and almost instantly the high struck. He sighed quietly, leaning back into the couch. Closing his eyes again, the Faro was startled by Noreen again.

“No, do not close your eyes. I know it is hard, but for now, the visual stimuli given by your mind will be difficult to see.”

Nodding uncertainly, the fox began explaining what had happened that day, slowly, falteringly, his voice cracking at several points until at last he was done.