The Cockney Canuck - 100. Chapter 100 Labour Day

Monday was Labour Day—the national holiday for workers in Canada and the US—but for millions of school kids across the continent, it usually signalled the end of the summer break. I wasn’t looking forward to returning to school, but with less than a day to go before being thrown to the lions, I was anxious to get it over with and back into some kind of routine.

It had been a long and difficult summer spent mostly at home. Now, it felt as if I was starting over again, and in some ways, I was. I would have a different name for a start, which was bound to create some confusion with the staff. For the students, however, the focus would undoubtedly be split between the injury which nearly killed me and my recent coming out. According to my friends, my relationship with the most blatantly gay boy in town was now common knowledge. If I wanted to make a statement, then having Nathan on my arm was sure to do it.

I got a lot of advice from my new family, and Sue was particularly outspoken, focusing predictably on my safety.

“I don’t want to see you back at the hospital, dear. I couldn’t go through that again. If anyone threatens you, you're to tell the teacher or Mr Andrews, understand? Don’t get into any arguments and certainly not any fights.”

“I’m not gonna get into any fights.”

“I’d like to believe you, Robbie. But I know what you're like. You're easily provoked.”

“No, I’m not!” My animated reaction, though, only cemented her case, and I was forced into an embarrassing climb down. “Only sometimes,” I said. “But the only fight I had was with Alex, who was my friend.”

She stood next to the kitchen table with her arms folded, watching me squirm as I ate my breakfast.

“If I were you, I would keep Nathan at arms-length for a while to avoid antagonising anyone. It wouldn’t hurt you to keep a low profile.”

‘It wouldn’t hurt you to mind your own business’.

“I’m gay; I haven’t got leprosy or anything.”

“I’m not saying you have to hide, but you don’t have to flaunt it either.”

‘Flaunt it’?

I pulled a face and shook my head, wondering what she meant. “I’m not gonna walk around holding hands with him if that’s what you think. But I’m not gonna avoid him either. The school’s full of straight couples groping each other. People are just gonna have to get used to seeing us together.”

“You were always following him around anyway,” said Nicola. She was sitting opposite me, itching to get involved. “I’m surprised no one guessed ages ago.”

“I was not following him around.”

“Yes, you were,” said Daniel. He looked as if he had just woken up as he grabbed a breakfast bowl, and slumped into the seat next to me.

“When?”

“Lots of times. Sitting with Nathan and Ginny at lunch and stuff. You were always talking to him. Can you pass me the cereal?” I hadn’t realised our little rendezvous were so noticeable or interesting to others, and it irritated me. I nearly threw the box of cereal at him.

“We were talking. So what! It’s not like I was humping him in the cafeteria!”

Sue had heard enough. “Robbie. I don’t want to hear you talking like that.” Then she pointed a finger at Nicola to stop her from smirking before rounding on Daniel. “Go downstairs and put a shirt on, please? I’m sure no one wants to look at you half-naked all day.”

“Robbie might,” said Nicola. I’m sure it was meant as a joke, and there was even an element of truth in it, but I didn’t think it was funny, and neither did Sue.

My knee-jerk response was limited to two sharp words as I scrapped back my chair and stormed off. It was perhaps a little theatrical but a trademark reaction and something they had come to expect from me. My outburst would later cost me a dollar in the swear jar and give Nathan something to laugh about later. He always called me a drama queen, and others started to agree.

While Sue lectured Nicola, I marched downstairs, slammed the bedroom door, and jumped into my unmade bed. It was still warm; Tom must have only just got up and I could hear the shower running next door as I buried my face in his pillow and breathed in a familiar scent.

I missed the comfort of my own bed, and the makeshift sleeping arrangements meant I was also missing out on my usual amount of sleep. I managed to claw back two hours that morning before dragging my weary body out of Tom’s bed to sit next to a dejected-looking Alex on the couch. He was watching an old black-and-white movie, but his mind was somewhere else.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“You're dressed.”

“Sue helped me.”

I shuddered at the thought.

“Where is everyone?”

“Out!”

“Out?”

“What's wrong? Can't you hear me?"

I sat back and stared at the television, annoyed by his attitude. He didn’t need to shout or be rude to me. After all, I was the one who was looking after him. I wondered where they had gone but didn’t dare ask him any more questions. When I stood up to leave, he grabbed my arm.

“I’m sorry, okay. I’m just feeling a bit rough, that’s all.” He tilted his head to look at me, and I gave him a half-smile. I didn’t mind. I knew it wasn’t me he was angry at.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

That made him laugh. “You're such a jerk sometimes. I can look after myself, you know. Stop mothering me. Between you and your mom, you're driving me crazy.”

“She’s not my mom, and I just wanna help, that’s all. So where have they gone?”

“Daniel and Tom have taken Luke and Amy to the beach. Your sister and aunt are upstairs.”

“She’s not my aunt either.”

He looked confused but my mind was on the beach. They would be there all day and I was tempted to join them but thought better of it. There would be too many kids from school; people I didn’t want to bump into before tomorrow. I was also concerned for Alex. I had left him on his own for two days in a row and was looking forward to spending the day with him.

He looked down, and it was easy to see why. While my life seemed to be going so well, he was heading in the opposite direction at breakneck speed. He needed luck, something to go right for him that would cheer him up and give him confidence.

“I don’t mind if you wanna go to the beach. You don’t have to sit with me.”

“But I don’t wanna leave you alone.” I was genuine, but my approach was too soft for Alex.

“Don’t be such a girl. I don’t need you to keep me company.” To add weight to his argument, he put his good arm around my neck and put me in a headlock. “I can still beat you up, even with one hand.” I didn’t struggle, though, and he must have known I could easily break free if I wanted.

I was frightened of hurting him, but that wasn’t the only reason why I allowed him to push my face into his chest. I was enjoying our brief physical contact and liked being under his control, even if he was a little smelly.

It was an attraction I still couldn’t understand, but Sue spoilt my fun when she paid an impromptu visit to the basement to see if he was okay. “Alex, can you let Robbie go, please?”

He pushed me away and gave me a light slap on the head. “You are so gay.”

I took it as a compliment and screwed up my nose. “You need a wash, Alex.”

With his upper body still heavily bandaged and his arm in plaster, there were certain things that he couldn’t do. He wasn’t allowed to take a shower, but he could sit in the bath as long as he kept his bandages dry and someone was there to help him.

It was a problem that needed to be addressed, so after lunch, at Sue’s request, I took him to the upstairs bathroom, locked the door, and started to undress him.

“Your mom’s a control freak.”

“She’s not my mom,” I said as I lifted his t-shirt.

“But she is a control freak.”

“Yes. Now raise your arm so I can take this off.” He did as I instructed, and I held onto his fingertips to guide his plaster cast through the hole. Then, I flipped his shirt over his head and onto the floor.

“She doesn’t leave me alone. Wants to know where I am and what I’m doing all the time.” I knew exactly how he felt; it was a carbon copy of what I had gone through.

“It won’t be long. Only another couple of weeks.”

“I don’t think I can last that long.” He watched with a sly smile as I pulled down his zipper and tugged at his jeans until they rested just above his knees. “You're getting good at this.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

I knelt in front of him—ignoring the pronounced lump in his briefs—and pushed his jeans down to his ankles. Then, while resting his good hand on my shoulder for balance, he stepped out of his pant legs while I peeled off his socks. It was becoming a well-practised routine for us, but this time, we were going all the way.

When I got to my feet, I gave him a quick wolf whistle and looked him up and down.

“Not bad. I’d probably give you an eight.”

“Out of ten?”

“No, out of a hundred.” It was a joke. Even bandaged and bruised, Alex had a body most girls and quite a few boys, including me, would drool over, and he knew it.

“If I didn’t have a broken arm, I would’ve hit you for that.”

“If you didn’t have a broken arm, I wouldn’t be in here undressing you.” He thought about it, then gave me another warm smile.

“I’m not so sure,” he said and giggled as his eyes followed mine to what was now a sizable tent in his underpants. It left little to the imagination and looked almost painful for him. If there was ever an animal that needed to be set free, it was this one, but for me, being trapped in the same room was likely to be a risky exercise.

I had no idea where this was going to lead, but turning back wasn’t an option. Somehow I was going to get him clean.

“Do you wanna take care of those, or do you want me to do the honours?” I pointed at his briefs while trying to ignore the growing problem inside.

“You can do it. I know you want to.”

‘How did I know he was going to say that’?

It was difficult to maintain a clear head in such a steamy atmosphere, but I tried to keep it as professional as possible as I pulled them over his dick and down to his ankles.

The moment the beast was released, it sprang upwards, slapping proudly against his stomach, and stayed there. It wasn’t the first time I had seen him in a full state of arousal, but he looked bigger than what I remembered, and it was no longer possible to ignore it.

There was a lot of sexual energy in that bathroom. It was thick enough to cut with a knife, and it wasn’t just limited to Alex. My plans for keeping it business-like were being tested to breaking point, and my own boner was beginning to cause me problems, restricting my movement. I was worried that he noticed and saw it as a green light to make a move on me. I wasn’t convinced I would be able to resist.

“I can’t help it,” he said. “It’s been happening to me all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” But we were both blushing, and I wasn’t sure where to look. “Maybe you should’ve sorted it out first.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe you should’ve jerked off or something.” It seemed so obvious, and I wondered why he hadn’t put the time he had spent on his own that morning to better use.

“Really? Why thank you, professor, for your expert advice. In case you haven’t noticed, I can’t reach down there at the moment.”

“What about your other hand?”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“That’s what I just said.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t do it with my left hand.”

“Have you even tried?”

“Of course, I’ve fucking tried, dickhead. I’ve been trying every day.”

I scratched my chin and eyed him suspiciously. It sounded like a trap.

When I glanced down. It seemed to be looking right at me. Like a dog begging for attention. I resisted the urge to stroke him and backed away. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but he had manipulated me in the past to satisfy his sexual urges, and I didn’t want to be used like that again.

“I’ve always been able to do it with either hand,” I said.

“Well, hats off to you, dude. I’m very happy for you, but obviously, I can’t.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m not lying to you.”

It was, admittedly, an unenviable position for a sixteen-year-old boy to be in. He was probably used to doing it every day. I would have been unbearable to live with had it been me, but it wasn’t going to kill him. I was sure he would get over it.

“Is this why you’ve been spending so much time in the bathroom lately?” I grinned at him, but he wasn’t amused.

“Are you gonna help me or not?”

I stared at him, wide-eyed. “I’m not jerking you off.”

“I’m not asking you to do that, shit for brains. You're supposed to be helping me into the bath, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” I laughed at my own stupidity before contemplating the task ahead. All the time, my eyes kept coming back to that thing between his legs. It didn’t look as if it was going to ease off anytime soon, and contact seemed inevitable.

‘What was Sue thinking?'

It was times like these when I was convinced she had lost her marbles. She must have known how difficult it would be, and Alex made sure it didn’t go without incident.

He wasn’t concerned about being naked in front of me; I guess he didn’t have much of a choice if he wanted my help, but he seemed almost too comfortable at times. It reminded me of Nathan, and I suppose they were the same in that respect. It was quite possibly the only similarity in their personalities. They were confident with how they looked, even though they were completely different. Oh, and they were both gay. I was absolutely convinced.

After lowering him into the shallow water by his armpits, I slipped and nearly fell in the bath with him. It set the tone and quickly descended into a farce. We managed to keep his plaster cast and bandages somewhat dry, but I was soaked.

“You're fucking hopeless, dude,” he said as I slipped again on the wet tiles. There was almost as much water on the floor as there was in the bath, and Alex was the perpetrator. Much to his amusement, I was drenched so I peeled off my socks and t-shirt.

“You're not thinking of getting in here with me, are you?”

“No, I’m not getting in the bath with you.”

“Why not,” he said, giggling like a little schoolboy. “I don’t mind.” That was obvious, judging by the firmness of his tool. It was poking out of the bubbles like a periscope.

“There’s not enough room, not with the Loch Ness Monster in there.” He laughed, but no doubt, he would have thought of somewhere to put it, and I shook my head, trying to get rid of the image.

“What’s wrong, Robbie? You're all red. Here, cool off.” He giggled and threw a wet flannel in my face. I noticed he could still do some things with his left hand.

“Stop making a mess.”

“Why, it’s funny? You're wetter than I am, dude.” Just to make sure, he splashed me some more with his foot.

“I’m gonna have to clean this up, you know.”

“So! As long as it’s not me that has to do it.” He laughed as he splashed me again.

It was nice to see Alex having some fun at last, even if it was at my expense. I hadn’t seen him laugh like that in a while, and it was contagious. It was better than going to the beach.

I knelt at the side of the bath, soaped up the flannel and put it in his good hand.

“There you go.”

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

I giggled. “Err, wash Alex. You don’t expect me to do that for you as well, do you?”

He stopped laughing to return my stare. I guess he did. “I don’t wanna get my bandages wet.”

He was playing me at my own game and winning. “I don’t believe you.” I snatched back the flannel before thrusting it between his legs. “May as well start here then.” I went straight for his balls, giving them a quick once-over before saying hello to an old friend.

“Go easy, dude,” he said as I wrapped the flannel around it.

“I’m sure there aren’t many friends who would do this for you.” I let go of his dick to delicately soap his chest up to bandages.

“You're right, dude. I wouldn’t let anyone else. You're my only real friend.” It was a nice thing to say, and the way he said it almost made me choke. His words were sincere and loaded with emotion. I stopped washing to look at him and smile.

“Thanks, Alex. That was really cool.”

“Dude, you're dripping water on my bandages.”

I was staring at him. “Huh. Oh, sorry.” I dropped the offending flannel and smiled. It landed back on his dick, covering it like a shroud and we both laughed.

“You’re gonna have to pick that up now.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and grinned expectantly.

“You are so gay, Alex.” He didn’t deny it.

I grabbed the flannel with his dick in the middle and squeezed it hard. “Are you happy now? Because that’s all you're getting.”

“I thought you were my friend.” He laughed when he said it, but I knew him well enough to know he was being serious.

“Friends don’t usually do that kinda thing for each other.”

He turned it into a joke, as usual. He was still not quite comfortable enough with me to show me all his cards. I had seen enough, though, to know for certain which team he was playing for. It was an issue that would have to be addressed if he was going to find any happiness in his life, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

The hour-and-a-half spent in the bathroom with Alex that day was probably the closest I had ever come to a sexual encounter without actually doing anything. He made me feel guilty, but what was I supposed to do? Maybe I should have helped him, no one would have known, but it would probably have led to something else, and that wouldn’t have been fair on him or me.

I managed to hide my own excitement beneath a baggy but soaking wet pair of shorts. It was all I was wearing when Alex—clean, dry, and fully dressed—headed downstairs, leaving me to clean up the mess before Nicola saw it. I was on my hands and knees mopping the floor with my T-shirt when she knocked on the door.

“Robbie, are you in there?”

“No!”

“Well, can I come in?”

“You’ll have to wait; I’m busy.”

“I just wanted to say sorry,” she said, and I stopped wringing out my shirt in the bath to repeat her words in my head.

‘Say sorry’?

It seemed so unlikely.

“For earlier. It was just a joke. I didn’t mean it.”

I smiled at the closed door. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“You know when I said you like looking at Daniel. It was only a joke.” I guessed Sue had told her to apologise, but it didn’t make it any less sweet.

“Say it again?”

“You're an asshole! What are you doing in there anyway?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“I have no idea,” she said. “And come to think of it, I don’t really wanna know.”

“Why did you ask then?”

“Whatever you're doing, don’t make a mess!”

I waited for her to leave and then stood up. The bath was clean, and the floor was almost dry, but I was a mess. When I opened the door, Nicola was still there, standing with her arms folded, looking like her mother.

“What happened? You’ve wrecked my bathroom.” Technically, it wasn’t her bathroom, but it was a room with a bath, and we only had a shower downstairs.

“The floor’s a little wet, that’s all.”

“What were you doing in here?”

“I was helping Alex. He needed a bath. He hasn’t been able to wash since he got here.” She moved her head to the side to look behind me.

“I can’t see anyone.”

I tutted. “He’s gone downstairs.”

“You were having a bath with Alex?”

“No, of course not!”

“Why are you so wet then? And where are your clothes?”

“They're wet too. He soaked me. We had a water fight.” I knew what she was thinking. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Only you could lose a water fight to a guy with one hand, Robbie. He can’t wash himself, so you had to bath him. Yeah, right?” She smiled and walked away. “Does Nathan know about this arrangement?”

‘No, but I’m sure you're going to tell him’.

I didn’t know if she was joking, but as usual, I let her have the final say. It was easier that way.

*     *     *

Alex looked and smelled a lot nicer when he was clean, and I couldn’t help but admire my handiwork. I was drawn in by the fresh fragrance of the shower gel and his smooth, well-muscled chest. He kept his top off for the rest of the day, and I kept my boner. He flouted Sue’s regulations, but interestingly, she never said a word.

I suppose, unlike Daniel, his injuries allowed him special privileges. He was healing quickly and seemed a little more flexible than he was. This made me wonder if there was any truth in what he said earlier, and I spent much of the evening thinking about it.

I decided to conduct my own survey, starting with my boyfriend. He had family visiting that day and had to stay at home, but he called me after dinner. He wanted to talk about school, but I quickly turned the conversation around to wanking. I knew he was right-handed when it came to most things but I wanted to know if the same applied to certain other more recreational pastimes.

“I always use my right hand,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’m pretty useless with my left. Why are you even asking me this question?”

“No reason. I just wanted to know.”

“You're weird,” he said, and maybe he was right because when I asked Rory, he said the same. Unlike my boyfriend, though, shy Rory took a little persuasion before he eventually revealed this highly personal information, and even then, his answers were strictly confined to yes or no.

I was beginning to think it was me who was the odd one out and not Alex. Maybe I had some kind of unique hidden talent, and maybe he was telling the truth! I still had two boys at my disposal to interview before I could make a fair assessment, and I was almost certain that Tom would fall into my category. From what I could remember, he was fairly adept with both hands and after almost choking on his root beer, he was happy to confirm it and even offered to demonstrate. I think he was joking, but I didn’t take him up on his offer.

“That won’t be necessary, Tom. It’s only a survey.”

“You're a wanker,” he said, and I agreed. I was still unsure about him, though, even after all this time.

My last stop was Daniel. He was sorting his clothes out for the morning when I cornered him. He looked a little shocked by my question.

“I don’t do that kinda thing.”

“Yes, you do. I hear you. All I want to know is, are you left-handed or right?”

“It’s rude to ask someone that, Robbie. Go talk to someone else.”

“I already have.”

“Who?”

“Everyone. You're the only one who hasn’t given me an answer.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Both,” he said.

I was impressed but not surprised, placing him in the ambidextrous category with Tom and me. “I thought so. You would probably need both hands.”

He laughed. “I’m waking you up at six-thirty tomorrow. Don’t forget.”

After all that effort, my survey proved inconclusive. Out of six boys, including Alex, the scores were even. Three could, and three couldn’t use their wrong hand to masturbate. At least it kept my mind off school.

*     *     *

It was ten o’clock. Alex was trying to get Luke to sleep, and I was in the kitchen making myself a drink. I was looking out the window to the backyard when Don walked past on his way to bed. It was too late for him to still be up, and when he saw me, he stopped.

“You're back to school tomorrow?” I nodded “Are you nervous?”

“A little.”

“Hmmm, I would be too. I certainly don’t envy you.”

“I’ll manage.”

“I’m sure you will, Robbie.”

He let out a deep breath and shuffled closer, resting his hand on my shoulder.

“I know you think I hate you, but I don’t.” I thought it was odd to say out of the blue.

“I know that.”

“Good. Maybe one day you’ll realise that I was right.”

I was shocked into silence. It wasn’t what I expected, and I felt a familiar ache in the pit of my stomach. He patted my shoulder, smiled and turned to walk away.

“Wait!” I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but I wanted to say something. “You're not right. I know you're not.”

“It’s not the time to be discussing this.”

“You brought it up. You're still trying to punish me for this, aren’t you?”

“I’m not punishing you. I don’t need to do that. By choosing this path, you’ll have to put up with abuse and prejudice for the rest of your life. That will be punishment enough. Goodnight, Robbie.”

I watched him turn and make his way upstairs.

‘Great. He’s not punishing me for being gay, because the rest of the world is going to do that for him, whoopee’!

I switched off the kitchen lights and headed downstairs. “Arrogant bastard!”

Don’s words bugged me and put me in a bad mood. I tried to dismiss them and think of something else, but I couldn’t. He knew what he was doing. He planted little seeds of doubt in my mind whenever he could, hoping I would eventually see the light and realise my stupidity.

“What’s up with you?”

“What?”

“You look like a guy who has to get up and go to school in the morning.” Alex was already in bed, and by the look of it, so was everyone else.

“Not you as well.” I walked across the room, removing and ditching my T-shirt on the way. Can I switch off the light?” He didn’t answer, so I did it anyway before climbing into bed next to him, leaving the usual no-touch zone in the middle.

“So, who upset you?”

“I’m not upset.”

“I know you well enough now to know when you're upset. You're not that good at hiding stuff like that. You go all sulky and start biting your lip.” I rolled onto my side to confront him but found myself staring at his back. “I bet you're doing it right now.”

I sat up, trying to work out how he could see me.

Knowing he was paying attention to my habits was a nice feeling, even if his observations weren’t complimentary. It put a smile on my face. Having Alex there was the perfect antidote to Don’s hurtful comments. It was difficult to feel sorry for myself lying next to someone who had it so much worse.

Don was an asshole, but at least he didn’t beat the shit out of me, and I still had a home and a future. Alex had nothing. He had no reason to feel good about anything, and to top it all; he couldn’t even have a wank when he wanted one and had no one to do it for him.

‘Maybe I should have helped him when he was in the bath instead of making fun of him. What harm would it have done?'

“Alex, are you asleep?”

“Why?”

“I’m not tired.”

“So, what do you want me to do about it?”

“I thought you might wanna talk.”

“What about?”

“I dunno; what do you wanna talk about?”

“I don’t. I wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll try not to wake you when I get up in the morning.”

“Good.”

It was a clear night, and the moonlight allowed me to see better than usual. I stared at the back of his neck for ages, wondering what would happen if I put my arms around him.

I knew he wouldn’t push me away, but he would probably have wanted more than just a cuddle, which would have been a problem. Too much could go wrong.

I wanted to help him and make him feel better, and I knew I was able to do it.

‘Maybe I’m the only one who’s able to do it’.

But he was too hot to handle.