The Cockney Canuck - 136. Chapter 136 Double Dating

My mouth was a little sore the next morning when I brushed my teeth, but at least I was able to sit down in some degree of comfort for breakfast. It was a luxury not always afforded to me at Conner’s house and a step in the right direction. I got the feeling that whatever sexual act I performed with him would likely involve some amount of pain, and like a fool, I was willing to accept it. It seemed almost unavoidable.

While I discussed the holiday soccer results with Rory, my boyfriend busied himself in the kitchen with a blender. He said he was making me a smoothie, which would cleanse my insides of all the harmful toxins I ingested at the party. I was more concerned about the stuff I swallowed during the night, and the drink he put in front of me was disturbingly similar in colour and texture.

I stared at it for a while before cautiously dipping my finger and dabbing it on the tip of my tongue. “What is it?”

“Drink it; it’s good for you,” said Conner, and he gave me a reassuring grin as he hovered next to my chair, waiting for my verdict.

“Do I have to swallow it?”

“Well, what else would you do with it, stupid?”

“I usually spit that stuff into the sink.”

Rory stopped munching on his toast to pull a face at me. “You're disgusting.”

“It’s better for you than beer,” said Conner, and I had to admit his smoothie was a lot tastier than it looked. Although unlike beer, I didn’t feel any immediate benefits.

“That’s the most I’ve ever swallowed,” I said, leaning into Rory and burping.

He cringed and pushed me away. “I don’t wanna know what you get up to.”

“Actually, Rory has already tried a couple of my smoothies,” said Conner, and I snapped my head around to stare at my golden-haired friend.

“Kept that quiet. Didn’t you? Not that I’m surprised.” I winked at Rory as he rolled his eyes and turned crimson.

“At least he’s keeping it in the family,” said Rebecca. She had only just arrived at the table, and I found it amusing that she was able to pick up on the joke, while Conner still seemed oblivious. Humour often flew right under his radar.

It was the only bright spot of an otherwise drab and overcast morning dominated by thoughts of Alex. I was concerned about his phone call during the night, and so was Conner. He waited until I was upstairs, gathering my belongings before closing the door behind us and demanding some answers.

“I wanna know what’s going on, Robbie. If you're in trouble, you need to tell me.”

“I’m not in trouble. It’s just a friend. It’s no big deal.”

“Some guy calls you in the middle of the night and asks you for two thousand dollars, and you think it’s not a big deal? I’m scared something bad will happen.”

“It sounds worse than it is.” I smiled and put my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. He smelled nice. Nice enough for me not to want to let go. “Honestly. I’ll be okay.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what it’s about?”

“Because I can’t. Not at the moment.”

He pushed me away and began pacing the floor like a caged lion. I didn’t expect him to understand, but I couldn’t tell him either. I didn’t have time to explain everything, and there were things I didn’t want him to know.

The lack of a credible explanation led him to draw his own conclusions.

“Are you taking drugs?”

“What are you talking about? Of course not. Why are you even asking me that?”

“Because your friends do.”

“Who?”

“Ginny, Nathan, and most of the people at that party.”

I shook my head and laughed. “You're crazy.”

“How can you deny it. You could smell it all over the house. Ginny even offered me some. But I’m not talking about weed. I mean, other drugs.”

“Nathan doesn’t do drugs, I know that for certain, and I didn’t know any of the other people there. Even Ginny didn’t know most of them.”

He scoffed. “Maybe in your eyes, Nathan can do no wrong, but I’m not stupid. I don’t like your friends, Robbie. They’re losers, and they’ll drag you down if you keep hanging out with them.”

I was seething. I might have known this would be about Nathan. He was basing his opinion on a handful of people who were friends of Ginny’s stepbrother. Most of them weren’t even invited to the party. I didn’t expect Conner to be best buddies with my ex, but they were serious accusations.

“You're wrong. I’ve never known Nathan to use drugs. He doesn’t even drink beer—usually.”

“Well, he did that night, or are you gonna deny that too?” Conner studied my face and sat down beside me on the bed. “I know you're trying to protect him, but I’m serious. I know what I saw, and I don’t want you being involved.”

“So, what are you saying; I can’t see my friends anymore?”

“Of course not. What about Rory? He’s your friend, isn’t he? He’s a nice guy.”

“Because he’s dating your sister, you mean?”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Rory’s cool, but Nathan and his friends will get you into trouble. I know it.”

“You just don’t like him.”

“Is that such a big deal for you; the guy’s your ex-boyfriend, why would you want to be friends with him anyway? I stopped talking to Derrick because you didn’t like it, why can’t you do the same for me?”

I could understand why Conner didn’t want me hanging around with an ex-boyfriend, especially someone as provocative as Nathan, but there were other things to consider.

“Nathan is my brother’s best friend and almost part of the family. It’s not gonna be possible for me to avoid him. He comes around my house and even stays over sometimes.” I was laying it on thick—Don had put an end to his sleepovers ages ago—but I needed Conner to understand that I wasn’t going to be able to shut Nathan out of my life. “I go to school with him too, don’t forget.”

That was something else that irritated Conner. He hated that we went to different schools while I considered it a blessing. I got enough funny looks and comments as it was, without Conner continually touching me. As flamboyant as Nathan was, when we were dating, we rarely had any physical contact in school. Not while it was open anyway.

“So, this guy who wants you to give him money, does Nathan know him?”

“Yes, but it’s nothing to do with him.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe me, but if it makes you feel any better, I’ve decided not to give him the money. I wanna help him, but I think he needs real help, not just money.”

The relief on Conner’s face was noticeable. He let out a deep breath and put his arm around me. “I’m glad. I don’t want to see you get mixed up in stuff like that. You’ve been in a bad mood ever since that guy called, so I know it’s been worrying you.”

He was right, talking to Alex brought back painful memories that I was trying hard to put behind me. My mind wouldn’t allow me to forget his dark side. I kept replaying the incident that led to him running away, making the drive home sullen and emotionally draining. Despite repeated attempts by Conner to cheer me up, I spent most of the journey staring out the window, as the white landscape whizzed past in a muddled blur.

When we reached my house, Conner asked me if he could stay, like it was suddenly his job to protect me. It was a ridiculous suggestion considering we had to go to different schools in the morning, and his mom wouldn’t allow it. His concern, though, was real, and I quite liked it. For the first time, it felt like I meant more to him than just a convenient place to dump his seed. It was enough to bring a genuine smile to my face.

I gave Conner a gentle but meaningful kiss goodbye, before promising to call him that evening. Until then, I decided to keep my phone switched off.

The house was quiet. Don and Sue were out visiting friends for the day, leaving Nicola in charge. She was in the living room watching a movie with Amy, while Daniel was in the basement shouting at the Raptors. They were losing, so he left the game to join me in the bedroom, hovering around while I emptied my bag and sorted my clothes for the morning.

“Is something bothering you, Daniel?”

“No. Well, kinda. I just wanted to know what you think of Ratana?”

“About who?”

“Ratana. The girl I was with at the party.”

“Oh, her?” I was amused by his nervousness. “What do you mean?”

“You know. Do you think she’s nice? I mean, I understand you're not into girls, but you dated Fran, so I thought….”

“She’s hot,” I interrupted.

“You think so?” He was excited by my response, and I wondered how my approval could possibly mean so much to him. After all, I was hardly an expert, but from what I could remember, she was pretty and had a decent figure.

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter what I think. Do you like her?”

“I like her a lot,” he said before scrambling across the room to sit on his hands on my bed. He was bouncing up and down and acting like a little kid who had just revealed his first crush. I wasn’t in the mood for that kind of chat, but he looked so cute—in a kid brother kind of way—and it was impossible not to get carried away by his enthusiasm.

“So, are you gonna see her again?” It was a silly question to ask, but one I knew he wanted to answer.

“Yeah, next weekend.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, I was wondering if you had any plans for Saturday?”

“Why?”

“Would you go on a date with us?”

I stopped emptying my bag and smiled at him. “You want me to go on a date with you?” I tried not to laugh. “Is there something you need to tell me?” I put my hand on his thigh, and he promptly pushed it away.

“Stop it. That’s not what I meant.”

“You don’t have to explain. I know you like me.” I grabbed his arm, but he managed to scramble away to the other side of the room, laughing as I gave chase. “Don’t fight it, Daniel. I knew all along you were gay.”

“No, I’m not. Stay away from me!” He stood on his bed, swirling his pillow menacingly above his head. I couldn’t remember the last time we had a play fight, but it was probably long overdue.

As I circled the bed, he grunted and put all his weight behind a sideways swipe, but it was easy to avoid. I ducked, and he spun around like a discus thrower, bouncing off the bed and landing on his backside. I collapsed onto his bed, laughing.

“It’s not funny. I hurt my leg.” He was curled on the floor with his back to me feigning injury, but I wasn’t fooled by his pretence and could see him smiling. The only thing hurt was his pride, so I decided to leave him where he was and go back to sorting my clothes.

I should have known it was a trap. As I stepped around him, he reached out and grabbed my ankle, forcing me to drag him across the hardwood floor on his back. When I managed to shake him off, he scrambled to his feet and chased me around the room. I hurdled my bed but slipped on the rug, pulling Daniel down with me.

I was face down on the floor with my brother on top of me. We were both out of breath and laughing, but we couldn’t have been in a more compromising position.

“You’re a fast mover, Daniel. We’ve only just started dating.”

When he realised what I meant, he jumped up like a jack-in-a-box. “Fuck you,” he said, and we both fell about laughing at his choice of words.

“So, this is what you guys get up to when your parents are out.” Nathan’s schoolteacher voice was easy to recognise, even if I couldn’t see him with the bed in the way. “I know you're there, Robbie. I can hear you laughing.”

I raised my head above the bed to smile at my ex-boyfriend. “Where the fuck did you come from?”

Nathan stood in the doorway, wearing a red and white hoodie and a saucy grin. “Is that any way to talk to your ex-lover?”

I had to think about it. I didn’t realise there were protocols.

“You're late,” said Daniel.

“Yeah, I wanted to make sure your happy-go-lucky father wasn’t here.” Nathan winked at me as Daniel held out his hand to help me to my feet. “What were you playing; is it too late to join in?”

“No,” I said. “Feel free. Daniel was just trying to shag me.”

“Good for you, Daniel.”

“In your dreams.” My brother nudged me in the back as he walked around me. “He wanted to molest me.”

Nathan threw back his hood and flicked the hair from his eyes. “Don’t waste your time, Robbie. I’ve been trying for years.”

“That’s true,” said Daniel. He smiled at his friend and wiggled his ass at him as he crossed the room. “Too bad, you can’t have this.”

I was surprised by Daniel’s flirtatious comment.

Nathan laughed and turned to me. “He wants me really. He’s just playing hard to get. Maybe he could give you a few tips.”

My ex-boyfriend was in fine form and looking quite excited.

“We’re going to Ginny’s house,” said Daniel. “Nathan’s moving in with her.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just gonna keep her company for a couple of weeks while her stepbrother’s away working.”

Daniel winked at me. “Parties every night.”

Nathan slapped his friend on the hand. “Don’t tell him that. We’ll never get rid of him. Sorry, Robbie. I’m not allowed to throw any parties, but I’m having a poker night on Saturday if you're interested.”

“Did you say poker night?”

“Don’t be fooled,” said Daniel. “Nathan’s pretty good at poker.”

I smiled at my ex-boyfriend. “Yeah, I found that out the hard way.”

I wondered if he was serious and if he wanted to play by the same rules. His suggestive expression said yes, and the sexual energy between us was intense. Daniel must have noticed it, and he called for a time out.

“Robbie can’t do this Saturday because he’s going out with me on a double date.”

“You seriously want me to go with you?”

“Yeah. It’ll probably be a little weird, but I’m nervous about going on my own.”

It was that moment of pure honesty from Daniel that sealed the deal. I didn’t think many fifteen-year-old boys would admit they were nervous about taking a girl on a date. Most of the boys in school were brim-full of bravado and wildly exaggerated their limited love lives, but Daniel played by his own rules.

“I’ll ask Conner, but it sounds cool to me, and I don’t mind if it’s weird.”

“Robbie loves weird,” said Nathan. “The weirder, the better for him.”

“You never complained,” I said.

“Of course not. Why would I complain?” He winked at me. “Double dating, eh. Sounds naughty. You didn’t invite me.”

“But you're single,” said Daniel.

“Technically, yes. But I can still get a date.”

“Who?” I said, nearly jumping down his throat. “Is it anyone we know?”

“Ryan. You remember. The boy from the party.”

‘Son-of-a-bitch’!

Of course, I remembered. The boy’s face was etched into my brain. “Vaguely,” I said.

“I remember him,” said Daniel. “So are you guys….?”

Nathan must have felt my eyes burning holes in him.

“Fucking, you mean? Of course not.”

Daniel chuckled. “That’s not what I was gonna say, but I don’t mind if you wanna bring him.”

‘I do.’

“It’s okay,” said Nathan. “I don’t think Ryan would feel comfortable. He’s timid. We’re not even properly dating. He’s not my boyfriend or anything.” He put a lot of emphasis on that last sentence and seemed to aim it directly at me.

I was relieved to hear it but also felt guilty. It was unrealistic to expect Nathan to be single forever, just because I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else touching him. Now that he had temporarily left home, I was sure it wouldn’t be long before someone was sharing his bed.

‘I wonder if Ryan’s any good at poker’.

The thought of it made me feel queasy, but I was sure I was doing the right thing by sticking with Conner.

*     *     *

Monday was cold, grey, and overcast, but inside the school, it was warm and colourful. Most of the students seemed to be wearing the new clothes they got for Christmas, competing against each other like some kind of fashion show. Surprisingly, Nathan was quite low key. It made me laugh like he was forever bucking the trend. He smiled at me from across the cafeteria, but there was no communication between us, and I tried to keep my distance.

Surprisingly I didn’t hear from Alex either, but he did leave a few messages on my phone on Sunday. In one of them, he reiterated his supposed innocence over the missing swear box money, assuming it was the reason why I was ignoring him. But he still wouldn’t reveal the name of the person he thought was responsible. He was dangling that information like a carrot on a stick, hoping I would agree to meet up.

I wanted to believe it wasn’t him, but I didn’t have any other logical suspects. No one else in the house needed the money that bad. There were other more direct ways for Nicola or Daniel to get their hands on cash, like merely asking their dad for it. Amy wasn’t interested in money, and Luke was never alone in the kitchen long enough.

The following day, I briefed Jo on my predicament. It was our first session after the holidays and a welcome reunion with my unconventional mentor. It was a relief for me to be able to talk to someone about Alex, and I trusted her implicitly. She had become such a part of me that I never even considered keeping it from her.

Jo looked up from her clipboard and reached into her pocket for another stick of gum.

“You did the right thing by switching off your phone,” she said. “But, you should never have told him he could have the money.”

“I wanted to help him. He called in the middle of the night. Conner thought he was trying to blackmail me.”

“I understand. And you're right he does need help.” Jo paused to smile at me. “So, things are going okay with Conner then?”

I looked suspiciously at her. “What do you mean?”

“I just wondered why you were with him in the middle of the night.” She left her eyes on me as she crossed the room, and I poked my tongue at her. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Jo’s response was exactly as I expected. She was pleased to hear Alex had surfaced and was calling me, but deeply suspicious of his motives.

“Were you aware he was using drugs?”

“No, and I don’t know for sure that he is.”

“If he’s selling them, it’s a good bet he’s using them too. I think we have to assume he is, in which case the drugs Don found in the house probably belonged to Alex. Do you think he was going to use the two grand to buy drugs?”

“Probably.”

“Either that or pay off a drug debt. If you supply the cash and he gets busted, you're also implicated, because you're the one putting up the money. You get that, right?” My blank expression said no, so she pulled up a chair and sat beside me. “If he wanted, he could say he was buying them for you. There’s no way the cops are gonna believe you gave him two grand to get some groceries. No one would be that charitable. Mother Teresa wouldn’t do that.”

“She’s dead.”

“What?”

“Mother Teresa. She died a few years ago. I know because we been learning about her in….”

Jo’s expression told me to stop. “I don’t care. I just don’t wanna have to get you outta jail, kid. So smarten up.”

“What do I do? I can’t ignore him forever.”

“We have to tell the cops. Maybe they can trace his location from the number on your phone. I’m worried about his brother. They need help.”

“I don’t want him to go to jail because of me.”

“It won't be because of you.”

“It will. He trusts me.”

“Do you think he’s using hard drugs?”

“How do I know? Maybe.”

“It’s a pretty safe bet. So if you don’t do anything and he dies. How will you feel then? Will you still feel you betrayed him?”

“I guess not.”

“Don’t put yourself in that position, Robbie. If something happens and you know there was a chance you could have prevented it. That’s the worst feeling ever. You never get that shit outta your head.”

It sounded like she was speaking from experience, and I could detect a touch of emotion in her voice. I wondered how many cases played on her conscience. She didn’t deserve that kind of burden.

I agreed and showed her the number on my phone. “They’ll want to talk to you, so expect a call from them. Meanwhile, if he contacts you again, call me straight away. Unless it’s the middle of the night.”

That was going to be my next question.

“Conner thinks that Nathan’s using drugs too. He said he saw something at the party, but he wouldn’t say anything else.”

“Okay, so what do you think. You know Nathan better than most.”

“I don’t think so. I would have noticed, right?”

“Robbie, sometimes you surprise me with your acumen, but other times you're as dumb as fuck. Don’t take that personally, sweetheart.”

"I won't.”

As she packed up her stuff, I went into my phone. I needed to find out what acumen meant. I thought it was a spice.

*     *     *

On Saturday, Conner agreed to stay at my house again so we could go on a double date with Daniel and his girlfriend, whose name I could never remember. She was a nice girl, though, quite intelligent and talkative. She was from Thailand and had only been in Canada for five years.

We went to a pizza restaurant in town, followed by an obligatory walk around the mostly deserted and frozen harbour. There wasn’t much else to do on a winter night in Cobourg, but I preferred it when there were no people around.

It meant we could hold hands without people looking like we were aliens, and it was kind of strange watching Daniel doing the same thing with his girlfriend. I wasn’t used to seeing my brother behaving intimately with someone and felt it necessary to look away when he kissed her by the children’s playground.

Conner laughed as I held him back to give Daniel some extra space in which to work.

“You're funny,” he said. “You pretend not to care about Daniel, but really you do.”

“I don’t pretend not to care.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I think it’s cute that you love him.”

I scoffed like any other teenage boy would when accused of loving their brother.

“We’ve only officially been brothers for six months.”

“Yeah, I know, and that’s probably the reason you're so close.”

I didn’t quite get Conner’s logic, but when I thought about it. I definitely cared about Daniel, like I did Nicola and Amy. Even Sue, to some extent. A year after joining the family. Don was the only one who failed to make the grade, despite his recent attempts to be nice to me.

That night just like at the party, Ratana’s brother showed up to ferry her home. I got the impression her parents were quite strict, which didn’t bode all that well for Daniel’s virginity, but he seemed happy with his progress.

When we got home, Daniel jumped in the shower, and I went straight to bed, leaving Conner to chat in the kitchen with Sue. I was guessing my brother had something to take care of before bed, because he was in there for ages, before walking into the room in his boxer shorts. But instead of going to bed, he sat on the end of mine, making me sit up.

I stared at him in the dark. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m cool.”

I scratched my head. “Are you sure?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Is there something wrong with your bed?”

“No, why?”

“Because you're not in it.”

He laughed. “I know, I’m not tired.”

I shook my head and rested it back on my pillow. “I love you, Daniel. But do you mind being not tired somewhere else?”

He giggled as he walked across the room. “You love me, really?”

“The family version.”

“I get it,” he said. “I guess I love you too then. Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“You only guess?”

He didn’t answer, so I turned onto my side, thinking the conversation was over. I was falling asleep when he called my name.

“What do you want?”

“You love Nathan, don’t you?” I looked across the room at his outline. He was sitting up in bed, but it was too dark to see his face. “And I don’t mean the family version.”

“Maybe. But I don’t understand why.” I think my honesty surprised us both. “You won’t tell him I said that.”

“No, but maybe you should.”

“What do you think he’ll say?”

“I don’t know. Conner’s a nice guy, but ….”

“But what?”

“But you guys are always fighting. I bet you argue when you're doing it.” He laughed, but it was true. We did. “Anyhow, whatever you do, if it’s with Nathan, just make sure dad doesn’t find out.”

I thought about it until I fell asleep. My dreams that night were muddled and disturbing. My ex-boyfriend seemed to feature in all of them, but nothing made any sense.

Then I was awake again. Woken by the sound of Daniel’s agitated voice from across the room. It was still dark, and I struggled to work out what day it was.

“What’s going on?”

My brother switched on the light and paced the room, talking to someone on his phone. My clock said six-thirty.

‘What the fuck; it’s Sunday’!

I climbed out of bed and threw on a t-shirt. It was unusually cold, and when I looked through the blinds, it was snowing quite heavy.

Daniel had finished talking and was staring at me, his eyes quickly filling with tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nathan’s in the hospital. He’s been beaten up pretty bad!”