The Cockney Canuck - 150. Chapter 150 Smile and Think of England

It took only a few days for news of Stephanie’s pregnancy to surface in the corridors of Stephenson High School, accompanied by the usual game of guess the father. In the absence of a regular boyfriend, Mitch—the mouthy bigot who tried to fight me in the cafeteria—seemed to be most people’s prime suspect, and judging by his confident swagger around the school, I got the feeling he rather enjoyed the notoriety that came with this accusation.

In an apparent attempt to save my blushes, Stephanie had decided not to volunteer the name of the real father, and those who already knew were asked to keep it a secret. While I appreciated her efforts to keep me out of the equation, I got the feeling it wasn’t done entirely for my benefit. Having a bun in the oven was bad enough for her, but it probably would have been even more embarrassing if people discovered the boy responsible was her best friend’s gay brother. As Nicola was quick to point out, Stephanie would have preferred it to be anyone rather than me, and I suspected this much was true.

Perhaps I should have viewed this as good news. I was, after all, quite happy to let Mitch take the blame for my transgressions, but being an embarrassment to Stephanie didn’t sit well with me. I mentioned this to Nicola after she ambushed me at my locker on Thursday to take me to a secret meeting at an undisclosed location.

“You're being paranoid,” said my sister as she held onto my arm and led me through the busy corridor at breakneck speed. “She’s not embarrassed by you; she just doesn’t want anyone to see you talking to her.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I was struggling to keep up as Nicola punched a hole through the lunchtime crowds. We were heading away from the cafeteria to the gymnasium and against the flow of traffic, but it didn’t slow her down. She was on a mission, and those with any sense quickly stood aside. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Somewhere private where you two can talk alone.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna talk to her.”

My sister tightened her grip on my arm and gave me a look that told me I had no choice. “You should be grateful. She’s only doing this for you.”

‘Of course, she is. It’s always for me.’

By the time we reached the gymnasium, the corridor was almost empty. I jerked my arm free and reluctantly followed her up the staircase. “Don’t you think this is a little over the top? Why can’t she just call me?”

“She wanted to talk to you in person. Now hurry up!”

The top floor was the quietest part of the school, with only a couple of classrooms, an art studio and the library. I assumed we were going to the latter when I saw Stephanie waiting for us at the top of the stairs. She smiled at me but looked pensive as she glanced along the empty corridor before walking past the library and into the adjacent girl’s washroom.

I turned to Nicola and shrugged. “I guess she had to go.” Then I noticed Stephanie holding the door open and signalling for me to join her. “You're having a laugh. There’s no way I’m going in there.”

“What are you waiting for?” said Nicola, shoving me towards the entrance. “I’ll make sure no one comes in.”

“This is a bad idea,” I said, but I was talking to the back of the door as it swung shut.

“Don’t worry; no one comes up here at lunchtime.” They were the first words Stephanie had spoken to me since leaving our house almost a week ago, although our paths rarely crossed outside of the cafeteria. I turned around, looking past her at the unfamiliar surroundings. The girl’s washroom was bright, well-kept, and spacious.

“This is much cleaner than the boy’s room, and it smells a lot better too.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Boys are disgusting.”

“Only some,” I was quick to point out. “Most of us are quite hygienic. You’re probably hanging around with the wrong types. Like your boyfriend, Mitch, for example.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Well, maybe you should tell him that because I think he’s getting confused.”

Stephanie folded her arms and stared at me with a critical smile. “You're not jealous of him, are you?”

I sneered at her and shook my head in disgust. “Jealous. Do me a favour. Why would I be jealous of that tosser? I just can’t understand why anyone would wanna be friends with him.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you who I hang around with. Anyway, he’s not that bad; he just happens to hate you, that’s all.”

“Have you told him?”

“About you? God no. He would probably want to kill you if he ever found out.”

“That’s reassuring. Have you any more good news for me?” I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess, and I had dark rings around my eyes.

‘Where did they come from?’

“That’s why we should try to keep this quiet for as long as possible.” She put her hand on my shoulder and looked concerned as she spoke to my reflection. “You haven’t told anyone, have you?”

“No.”

“Good. So far, only our families know. Has my brother said anything?”

“David? No, why?”

“He didn’t react too well when he found out. I thought I should warn you.”

I was surprised to hear that, but it explained why he hadn’t been very talkative lately. If David knew, it seemed likely his girlfriend, Fran, did too, and I wondered how truthful Stephanie had been.

“You spoke to my mom,” I said before correcting myself. “I mean Sue.”

Stephanie smiled. “She is your mom, Robbie. You’re allowed to call her that.”

“No, she’s not.” My reply was automatic, but my argument was beginning to wear thin, and I no longer had the conviction to make it sound believable. Sue behaved like she was my mom, and it felt like she was, but there was still a part of me that felt bad whenever I slipped up, and that word passed my lips. It was happening a lot lately. “That’s not why we’re here, though, is it? I know you told Sue about that night, and She said I should thank you.”

“I’m not a total bitch, you know. I’m not gonna blame you when it wasn’t your fault. You just did what any other boy would have done under the circumstances. That’s what I told your mom. I like you, Robbie, and I was certain you swung both ways. So, when Nicola passed out, I thought we could have some fun. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and you looked like. Well, you looked like you were up for it.” She glanced down at my crotch and smirked. “You know what I mean.”

I sighed. “It was the Viagra Nicola gave me. I’m not usually like that.”

“I know, but it would’ve been a shame to waste it on Nathan’s video.”

“What?”

“I caught you jerking off, remember. Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone, but it was kinda hot at the time. Girls get horny too, you know.”

“You got what you wanted then, but you must be regretting it now.”

Stephanie reached for my hand, forcing me to look up from the floor. “I don’t regret having sex with you, Robbie, even though I could tell you wasn’t totally into it. I just regret not using protection.”

I returned her smile. “I was that bad then, huh?”

“It’s okay, I won’t tell.”

I appreciated her honesty, but she could have told me this anytime. It didn’t warrant being dragged into the girl’s washroom.

“Is that it? Can I go now?”

“No, I wanted you to know that I’ve ….”

When she stopped in mid-sentence, I thought she was searching for the right words, but she looked worried, and I soon understood why.

The sound of a toilet flushing made me jump and turn expectantly towards the line of stalls. I glanced worriedly at Stephanie before the door at the far end opened, and a young girl with red hair walked towards the sinks where we stood. I recognised her immediately from my homeroom and smiled nervously as she washed her hands and glanced suspiciously at me.

“Hey, Malissa. How’s it going?”

“It’s Clarissa,” she corrected me smartly. “And you’re in the girl’s washroom.”

“I know that.”

She finished drying her hands and looked disapprovingly over her shoulder at Stephanie. “The boy’s is next door.”

I dashed to the door and held it open for her to leave. “Thanks, I’ll bear that in mind for next time. See you in class, I guess.”

Clarissa was a quiet girl and not particularly known for her sense of humour, but she looked like she was smiling to herself as she passed a shocked-looking Nicola in the corridor.

“Where did she come …?”

I shrugged my shoulders at my sister and shut the door in her face.

“Nice one Stephanie.”

“How was I to know she was in there. Do you think she’s gonna tell anyone?”

“Unless she falls down the stairs, bangs her head and goes into a coma, but what are the chances of something like that happening in this school?”

“Didn’t that happen to you?”

I narrowed my eyes at Stephanie, but I couldn’t be bothered to explain my sarcasm. “You're right; it’s very common.”

“Maybe you should ask her not to say anything.”

“Yeah, that usually works; why didn’t I think of that?”

“Well, it’s worth a try. Be nice to her; maybe she’ll feel sorry for you.”

I had a better idea.

“Nah, it’s not worth it. Let her talk; I don’t care about Mitch or anyone else. I can think of worse things to be accused of than getting you pregnant. If anything, it’ll make me more popular. Unless, of course, it bothers you. I wouldn’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“You're Nicola’s brother; of course, I’m gonna be embarrassed. And you’re gay. Everyone will think I just used you for sex.”

“That doesn’t make much sense, but I suppose you did.”

“I know I did, but I don’t want them to know that.”

“Who’s them?”

“Everybody!”

I stared into her watery eyes, looking for a glimmer of sanity, but all I could see was a desperate and frightened girl whose world seemed to be collapsing around her. Listening to Nicola made me believe that Stephanie was in control and handling it quite well when clearly the opposite was true.

I felt bad. Even after she admitted it was her fault, absolving me of all blame, I was still overwhelmed with guilt for my role in this debacle. Sue was right; I could have said no. Nathan would have. Without my co-operation, it couldn’t have happened, and I wouldn’t be stuck in the girl’s washroom with someone who sounded like she was losing her marbles.

“I was gonna leave school, but I’m determined to get my diploma; I’ve worked too hard to quit.” Like Nicola, Stephanie was in her final year of high school with only four months left until graduation. She stood in front of the mirror, wiping away tears with her hand and making me feel worse. “I’ll be six months pregnant when I graduate. I’m gonna look terrible.”

I snatched a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and handed them to her as her voice cracked, and she began sobbing.

“Stephanie, please don’t cry. I’m sure things will work out.” She needed comforting, but I wasn’t sure if I was the right person, so I reached for the door to call Nicola, only to be dragged back by my t-shirt.

“Don’t go!”

“It’s okay, relax.” I put my hands on Stephanie’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Maybe we should go outside for some fresh air.” I held her loosely, but she ignored my attempt to keep her away and moved closer until she was able to put her arms around my waist.

“No, I can’t go out like this. I need a hug.”

I rubbed her back as she held me tight and cried into my shoulder. Her scent brought back memories of our night together, along with her bosoms that were squished against my chest. Her hair was in my mouth, and I had to push it off of my face to breathe. It was difficult to imagine a more compromising position.

I was caught between a feeling of genuine compassion and an instinctive desire for self-preservation. Even Mr Andrews would not have been able to save me if I was found in the girl’s washroom in the arms of a female student, especially if she happened to be pregnant with my baby.

“Stephanie. I have to go. We can talk later. Anywhere but here. Sue’s gonna kill me if I get expelled on top of everything else that’s happened.”

“I’m sorry. You must hate me. I ruined your life.”

'Not yet, but almost.'

I never thought I would be so pleased to hear Nicola’s voice when she threw open the door and yelled at me.

“What are you doing?”

“She’s upset, Nicola.”

“I can see that. What did you say to her?”

“I didn’t say anything. I don’t even know why I had to be here.”

Stephanie had stopped crying and regained enough composure to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry.” She let go of me and gingerly stepped away, sniffing and wiping her face. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Nicola rolled her eyes. “Him, probably.”

I straightened my t-shirt and felt a damp patch on my shoulder where she had been crying. “Here, let me,” said Stephanie, but I pushed her hand away when she tried to wipe my shirt with the screwed up and equally damp tissues I gave to her earlier. “It’s not that bad, really.”

“Leave it. I don’t mind. What was it you wanted to tell me?”

“Oh, I thought you should know; I’ve decided not to put the baby up for adoption.”

Nicola squealed with excitement, but my face told a different story.

“Why?”

“I thought you’d be happy. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Your dad. He came to my house yesterday to talk to my parents.”

“He did what? You mean Don went to your house?” I turned to Nicola, but she looked equally puzzled.

“I didn’t know,” said my sister. “It’s news to me.”

“Yeah, I was surprised to see him too,” said Stephanie. “I thought you guys knew about it.”

I was gobsmacked. “What did he say?”

Stephanie must have realised she had been duped and immediately clammed up. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important. You should go now before someone catches you in here.”

Nicola agreed, pushing me out the door in much the same way as she pushed me in. “I’ll talk to you later when we get home.”

I had a feeling Don wouldn’t be able to resist the opportunity to cause problems. My mind, like my t-shirt, was a mess, and I spent the rest of my lunch wandering around the school, trying to avoid anyone I knew.

*     *     *

I ducked as Jo’s clipboard hit the clock behind me, knocking it off the wall.

“Is this the same girl you slept with before Christmas, Nicola’s friend?”

“Yes, there was only one.”

“Do you think she’s telling the truth? I mean, are you sure you’re the father?”

“I suppose.”

“I suppose isn’t good enough. You’ll need to insist on a test. Geez, what is it with you?”

“It wasn’t my idea. I told you; she led me on. She even admits it.”

Jo popped another piece of gum in her mouth and paced the room, stopping to pick up her clipboard but ignoring the broken clock.

“I’m not angry because you had sex with your sister’s friend. I’m angry because you didn’t use protection. This wouldn’t have happened if you had bothered to wear a condom. You do know how to put one of those things on, don’t you?”

“Of course, I know. I’m not stupid.”

“I wonder sometimes.”

“Thanks.” I slumped in the chair and stared into space. “I thought you were supposed to be helping me, not making me feel worse.”

“I am helping you, but you have to meet me halfway. You can’t give Don ammunition like that; he’ll use it to destroy you. There’s no way he’s ever gonna believe you’re gay now. I’m not even sure if I do. But whatever happens, you’re not ready to be a father.”

She picked up her bag and placed it on the table to look inside. Jo carried a lot of stuff wherever she went. Most of it she didn’t need, like an empty water bottle, batteries, and a set of screwdrivers. They were all placed on the table until she found what she was looking for—a diary which she quickly thumbed through.

“What are you doing?”

She looked up from the small book and tossed it back into her bag. “It was almost twelve weeks ago. I take it she’s not having an abortion.” I shook my head. “Adoption?” When I didn’t reply, she kicked the wall. “You're kidding me. She’s only eighteen; why would she want a kid?”

“I don’t know, but Don went to talk to her parents last night, and Stephanie seems to think I’m okay with it.”

“No offence, Robbie, but you’re not planning to marry her, so it doesn’t really matter if you’re okay with it or not. She’s the one who’ll be stuck with a kid.”

“She told me she’s made up her mind.”

“If that’s the case, then there’s not a great deal you can do about it, but it’ll put you under a lot of pressure. She’s your sister’s friend; you’re likely to see a lot of the baby. How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does she want you to play an active role?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Good, because that’s a big responsibility for someone who is usually so irresponsible.” She ruffled my hair. “I’m only kidding, but I’d like to know what Don said to her. This is like a gift to him; I bet he can’t believe his luck.”

*     *     *

I needed to talk to Sue and explain how her husband had sabotaged her attempt to persuade Stephanie to put her baby up for adoption, but by the time Jo dropped me home, Nicola had beaten me to it. I suspected Sue was less than enthralled by the news that her meddling husband had potentially secured her a grandchild, and she looked unwell when I passed her on the stairs.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, dear. I’ve got a headache, and I’m feeling tired. I’m going to lie down for a while.”

Those words sent a chill up my spine. I remembered my mom complaining of headaches and tiredness before she was diagnosed. It was the start of her illness, although she didn’t know it at the time.

There were periods of my life that I wanted desperately to forget, and this was one of them. I would have paid good money to have those memories surgically removed if it were possible, but I knew they would live with me forever, returning to haunt me whenever anything triggered them.

I had invested so much into Sue I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her. Losing two moms would have destroyed me, but I guess no one could be that unlucky. After a troubled night spent worrying about her, she was back to normal in the morning, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to her about Stephanie.

*     *     *

I arrived at Nathan’s house on Friday afternoon just as Ginny was getting ready to leave. His rapid recovery and improving moods had persuaded his parents to ease their restrictions on visitors, and she was no longer seen as a threat. Nathan had insisted all along that Ginny wasn’t the one who had supplied him with drugs, although he had so far refused to say where he got them. I got the feeling his family were just happy to see him smiling again. They seemed content not to rock the boat while heaping praise on me for supposedly saving their son.

The return of Ginny’s familiar face seemed to do him good and made life easier for his overworked sister, although Karen still had to help with more private matters when I wasn’t available.

Naturally, I was the preferred option for anything bathroom related, and it was a responsibility I took seriously and worked hard to normalise. It was usually my first job, and I waited while he kissed Ginny goodbye before dutifully following him to the upstairs bathroom.

“How’s life treating you?” Nathan was in good spirits as I fumbled with his button and zipper before pushing his pants and underwear to his ankles.

“Stephanie wants to keep the baby.”

He looked unconcerned as he stood before me in a pale-blue striped hoodie that didn’t quite cover his dangling bits. “I thought she would. It’s a mother thing.” He sat on the toilet and gazed up at me from under his long fringe as it fell across his face. A quick flick of his head pushed it to one side, but it needed cutting, and it was soon back covering his eyes. “I know it’s important to you, but can we not talk about Stephanie tonight? I’d rather talk about us.” He smiled sweetly before dropping his head to concentrate on more urgent matters.

My boyfriend looked almost childlike, hunched forward with his pants puddled around his ankles and his knees pressed together. His plaster casts rested on the top of his thighs and between them, pointing directly at me, the reddish-purple head of his circumcised penis. It wasn’t how I was used to seeing him—flaccid and concertinaed to no more than a couple of inches—and when he caught me staring, he frowned, but it was just a game. Nathan enjoyed me looking at him even during odd moments like these when sex was not the reason for his nakedness.

It was a bizarre situation that went way beyond the usual boundaries of dating, and it probably should have been more embarrassing than it was. Yet somehow, sharing those hitherto private moments seemed to bring us even closer together. My actions were, of course, born entirely out of necessity and love, rather than some weird fetish, but normal couples didn’t do this kind of thing, and I saw it as an advantage. There was no longer any part of his anatomy and no bodily function that I wasn’t now intimately familiar with to a point where it felt like he was almost a part of me.

I sat on the side of the bath and twiddled my thumbs like an expectant father. Never mind Stephanie, it looked to me like Nathan was the one giving birth, and I stifled a laugh when I thought about what Daniel said.

‘Nathan’s having a phantom pregnancy.’

“Stop laughing at me. I don’t know why you have to watch. You can wait outside, you know.”

“It’s okay. I’ve got nothing better to do.”

My boyfriend looked curiously at me. “You got nothing better to do than watch me taking a shit? And I thought I was weird.”

We both laughed, but I guess he had a point. I was spending a disproportionate amount of time in lavatories. Maybe I was weird, but I had every reason to believe my day was about to get better, and I considered his bowel movements a good sign. I used to do the same thing whenever I stayed the night at Conner’s house. A little preparation was necessary to avoid anything unpleasant later in the evening, and Nathan was always on the ball when it came to personal hygiene. In the past, he would spend a lot of time making sure he was ready for sex and clean where it mattered. I learnt from him and did the same thing for Conner. I thought it was necessary, especially with him going in unwrapped, but my efforts were never appreciated.

My boyfriend’s call of nature was proving somewhat problematic. We had been in there for a while, but there was little I could do to help other than some verbal encouragement which wasn’t appreciated. Then a final concentrated effort was followed by a red face and an awkward smile.

“I’ve finished,” he proclaimed triumphantly as he stood up for me to clean him.

“Blimey! No wonder you had problems.”

“Don’t look; it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s impossible not to look,” I said. “Everyone looks. I think we might have to call a plumber for this one, though. How did that even fit inside you?”

“Stoppit. Don’t be rude.” He admonished me with a glare that soon softened to a naughty smile. “Anyway, you’d be surprised what I can fit inside me. Maybe later, I’ll introduce you to Buffy.”

“Buffy?”

“Don’t panic; it’s just a toy,” he giggled.

“Well, if it’s anything like the size of the Richard the third you just left behind, then I’m not sure I wanna meet him, thank you.”

He laughed as he turned his back on me and penguin walked to the washbasin. “Richard the third? I’ve missed your stupid cockney slang.” Then he turned to wink at me. “Now, how do you want me?”

I chuckled. “Usual position, darling. Bend over and think of England.”

In the past, the sight of my boyfriend’s bare backside protruding invitingly towards me as he kissed the countertop meant only one thing. Before I started caring for him, that little brown pucker’s only purpose was to accommodate my manhood, but despite an aching in my loins and an almost desperate need to experience those joys again, this was neither the time nor the place.

It was over half a year since my rubber-coated dick last parted Nathan’s gorgeous round cheeks in search of the promised land. That was on my sixteenth birthday, which we celebrated at the now infamous Palm Springs Motel. However, since that day—if you discounted Stephanie—the only sex I had was playing host to Conner’s virulent tool.

While it wasn’t entirely unrewarding, it was an uncomfortable and often painful experience that helped me realise I wasn’t cut out to be a permanent bottom boy. Nathan was different. He was a natural receiver and a willing recipient of everything I had to offer, but a desire to please also made him a very capable lover. Unfortunately, that’s where Conner went wrong. It was his stubborn refusal to switch roles that made him such a literal pain in the ass and ultimately sealed his fate.

When I finished cleaning Nathan, I knelt and planted a gentle kiss on each of his supple cheeks before a quick slap from my hand made him howl and sent him bolt upright. My dick was leaking love juice at an alarming rate, but I was pleased to discover my boyfriend had the same problem. His dinkle no longer dangled, and I had trouble zipping him up.

“I think you enjoyed that, you dirty sod.”

He gave me a dreamy look and smiled. “I had a hot boy fingering my ass; why wouldn’t I enjoy it? You nearly had a lot more mess to clean up than you bargained for.”

I stroked his sides and kissed his lips, then pushed back his hair and stared at his face. Six weeks after his attack and all that remained was a small scar above his left eye. Maybe it was the lack of makeup, but he looked better that day than I had ever seen him before.

“Do you really think I’m hot?” I asked.

“You know I do. I wouldn’t offer to share my bed with someone who wasn’t.”

We were close enough to rub noses, and I could feel his hot breath on my face as my fingers rested on his flushed cheek.

“I want you so badly,” I whispered, and for a moment, it looked as if he was going to cry.

“You can have me. I’m all yours. Every bit of me. We just have to wait a little longer, that’s all.”

I could afford to be patient. Earlier during a phone call to Nathan’s mom, Sue left me speechless by not only allowing me to visit my boyfriend for the evening but agreeing to his spontaneous request for a sleepover. It was an unexpected bonus, and I was sure she had taken leave of her senses as I bolted downstairs to fill an overnight bag before she changed back into the woman I knew.

Sue may have been swayed by the fact that Nathan’s parents would be home, but she didn’t bother to ask about our sleeping arrangements, and I got the feeling she didn’t want to know. I probably gave the game away when I hugged her on the way out and told her she was the best mom ever. No sixteen-year-old gets that excited about an innocent sleepover, and I could tell Sue wasn’t entirely comfortable with the situation. She was, however, prepared to compromise and after the problems with Stephanie, Nathan probably seemed like a safe option. At least he couldn’t get pregnant, although I was a little concerned about Buffy.

“You can put your bag in our bedroom,” said Nathan as he led me through the cluttered kitchen where his mom was talking on the phone.

“Our bedroom?” I waved to Liz and giggled at his terminology. In the past, it was always his room.

He turned to face me at the bottom of the stairs. “Unless you prefer to sleep in the basement.”

“I wanna sleep with the sexiest boy in the world,” I said as I leaned in to kiss him and graze his lips with my tongue.

“Don’t we all, sweetie. But I gotta put up with you,” he giggled and took off, running upstairs with me in close pursuit. We were both handicapped. Nathan with his arms in plaster and me with my overnight bag, which I threw onto his bed as I chased him into the bedroom and kicked the door closed.

He stood with his back to the window, waiting for me to pounce, but I was suddenly distracted. I scratched my head and looked around, puzzled by the tidy appearance of his room.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just I never realised you had carpet. Where have all your clothes gone?”

“Very funny. They’re in my wardrobe. I cleaned up. I know how much my mess bugs you, and I want you to feel at home.”

“Wow, you did all that for me? It must have taken days.”

“Well, not exactly. I got my sister to do it, but it was my idea. From now on, whenever you stay here, this is our room, just like it would be if we were living together.”

“That’s so cool.” I grabbed his waist and pulled him towards me, but he squirmed in my tight embrace, and my kiss missed his mouth.

“I know, right.” He sounded excited then looked at me coyly. “You don’t think I’m being too forward, do you?”

“Too forward? Don’t be daft. I love you, Nathan. Who knows, maybe someday we can live together for real. Permanently.”

“Permanently?” He gasped when I squeezed him. “Oh my God, Robbie; I’m only fifteen.”

“I don’t mean now, silly. In the future.”

“You really wanna live with me?”

“Well, maybe when we’re older, if we’re still together, that is. Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing at you. Well, I am, but in a nice way. I suppose if you wanted to buy us a place to live, I wouldn’t say no.”

“I could probably afford to buy a house.”

“I prefer an apartment.”

“In the middle of nowhere.”

“I like the city.”

“As long as it’s just the two of us.”

“And Buffy.”

I laughed and pushed him back until we fell onto his bed with me on top. “We can work out the details another time. They’re not important.” I kissed his neck and began lifting his hoodie.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you undressed.”

“It’s not even six o’clock.”

“We don’t have to go to sleep straight away.”

“Oh my God, we can’t do it now!” he said. “Not with my parents downstairs.”

“We can be quiet.”

He smiled and kissed my nose. “No, you can’t, and I definitely won’t be able to. We still have to be discreet, you know. My parents aren’t that open-minded. They won’t allow you to stay if they think we’re up here having sex all the time.”

“What else would we be doing?” I kissed the middle of his chest, then dragged my tongue across his skin to tease his nipple. His body went rigid beneath me, and he gasped as I pushed my hardness against his stomach before rolling off him and sitting upright. “You told me you wanted to have sex.”

Nathan was still on his back, staring at the ceiling and panting; he looked flushed when he lifted his head.

“I do, and I have a plan. We just have to wait until the morning. They’re going out early to visit their friends. Then we’ll have the place to ourselves. It’ll be better that way.”

It sounded like a long time to wait at the end of a week of self-imposed abstinence. “I’ve been saving myself for you like you said.”

“I know, baby.” He knelt on the bed behind me, draped his plastered arms around my neck and covered my cheek in wet kisses. “Oh my God, you’re so cute when you’re horny. I promise you won’t be disappointed.” I had no reason to doubt him. Nathan had never disappointed me in the past, and there was something different about him now that made him even more appealing.

*     *     *

I was looking forward to sleeping with my boyfriend again, even if we had to behave ourselves until the morning, but first I had to endure an evening with his family. Thankfully they didn’t ask about Stephanie, but the conversation was still awkward, and I found it difficult to relax. Trying to behave like I wasn’t a lovestruck, hormonal teenage dirtbag, whose sole purpose in life was to shag their son proved nearly impossible.

For a treat, and I suspect, to escape the suffocatingly high levels of testosterone, his dad decided to take us out for dinner. There was a family steakhouse just outside of Cobourg that they often used. The owners were amiable, but I still cringed and wanted to hide my face when Liz introduced me as Nathan’s boyfriend. I wasn’t expecting her to divulge that information, and I was worried about how they would react. I didn’t want them spitting on my food or poisoning me, but when I mentioned this to Nathan, he laughed at my paranoia.

I was concerned over nothing. There were no discerning looks, and we weren’t treated any differently from the other patrons. No special treatment but nothing bad either. Just the same as everyone else, and that was all I wanted. It was a glimpse of how easy life could be, and it gave me hope for the future.

Whether or not Nathan would want to be a part of my future was up to him, but so far, the signs were encouraging. More than once that night, I caught him watching me with an expression that I hadn’t seen on him before. It looked like a mixture of gratitude and admiration, but neither of these was common on a boy usually so consumed with his own importance. It was as if he suddenly noticed something about me that had always been there, and now, he was wondering how he had missed it.

I spent the best part of a month trying to win his heart and regain his trust without knowing if I would ultimately succeed. It wasn’t about sex. I always knew he would surrender his body to me when the time was right, but I wanted more than just fleshly sins and something more enduring than a high school romance. I wanted him to feel the same feelings I had for him, and that night I started to believe it was true.

I could see it in his eyes when I fed him his steak, in his dreamy smile when he watched me talking, and in his fingertips as they drew lazy circles in the palm of my hand. It was unlike him to be so subdued, and at first, his family were worried, but this wasn’t the same troubled boy who had caused them so much distress a few weeks earlier.

For once, Nathan wasn’t seeking the spotlight and seemed content to sit in my shadow, eyes glued to me as he watched me interacting with his sister. He never left my side the whole time we were at the restaurant, and naturally, when he had to use the bathroom, I went with him to help. We squeezed into the only stall, and I showed off my ambidexterity by holding us both as we peed at the same time—a task more difficult than it sounds. There were no spills, but by the time we finished, we were both hard, and I had two erections to conceal for the short but farcical walk back to our table. Tomorrow morning couldn’t come quick enough.

It was three weeks to the day after I persuaded Nathan to be my boyfriend for the second time, and when I held him in my arms later that evening in the privacy of his room, he had tears of joy in his eyes. We were awake for most of the night; our naked bodies pressed together in the middle of his bed as we swapped spit and whispered our hottest fantasies beneath the sheets. It would have made sense to rest and conserve our energy, but we weren’t in the mood to be sensible and sailing too close to the edge.

Nathan’s plan to save ourselves for the morning was always going to be a tall order, and I had already come within a hair’s breadth of the mother and father of all premature ejaculations. While I somehow managed to stem the tide at the critical moment, Nathan was less successful. It was too dark to see, but there was no mistaking his high-pitched gasp and rapid panting that momentarily drown out the sound of his dad’s snoring. I held my boyfriend tight and kissed him for all he was worth, then felt his spasms and the warm splashes of his sticky essence against my skin as I repeated my love for him in his ear over and over again.

My boy was spent, and I was surprised by the volume of his deposits, which quickly spread between us and onto his sheets. He tried to apologise, but there was no need. Nathan, caught in the throes of a climax, was a thing of beauty and an experience to cherish. It made me feel special knowing I was not only the person responsible but also the sole beneficiary, and for once, I rather enjoyed him making a mess.

Under the sheets, the bleachy scent of his sensual offering proved an overpowering aphrodisiac. I smeared it across his body like sunscreen, then rolled on top before inevitably losing control and adding another glorious layer of love to our already sticky mess.

Shortly after, I opened my eyes and lifted my head from the nape of his neck. Then slowly straightened my arms, peeling my soggy skin from his. A solitary bead of sweat ran down my heated cheek and dripped onto his face, making him twitch his nose. Then he smiled and told me he loved me, and after that, nothing else mattered.