The Cockney Canuck

Hej Dodger, I'm sorry if my latest review made you feel like you're not doing things right with the story. On the contrary I wouldn't read and review if I didn't like your story in spite of how much your main character frustrates me. The last part of my review was meant to convey my understanding that Robbie is an insecure teen with lots of issues, and we shouldn't expect him to act rationally - and being love makes it worse of course. So I think you're doing very well on your story line, but I still want to shake some sense into Robbie, hence the ranting. It's sort of a backwards compliment showing that you push my buttons most effectively, usually the signs of a good author.
As for my ranting at the other characters, I assumed you meant to portray Nicola and the others in a way which would piss Robbie off or at least make him react in various ways. As I want Robbie to be happy I get upset on his behalf when other people treat him badly. Nathan's dad might think he was funny, but I thought it was a cruel joke to play. I think Robbie was surprisingly forgiving and he was even able to laugh and joke back. Cool, but it doesn't make me like the dentist. Again that doesn't mean I don't like the story, it just gives me great opportunities to rant. Something I rather like to do...
But if you prefer to be without, I can certainly stop reviewing, although I won't stop reading. Or just mention the stuff I like in the story.

Uh... Very problematic??  Judgy much?   LOL... You know, anyone who has been through the kinds of trauma Robbie has been through... well... he's doing pretty good... and look, ma, no counseling.   Has he got himself into some scrapes? Sure. But the fact that he doesn't enjoy hurting people, the fact that he genuinely appreciates people for who they are... (Ok, maybe he's a little ga ga over Nathan... but I've been married for over a decade and I'm still a little ga ga over my guy...) all point to a Robbie who, (unless I miss my guess...) is truly a good guy who is stronger, and more capable than he, or his author knows yet...   and who knows... maybe there's a good bit of that intellect and strength in this guy named Dodger who writes about him... (I'd bet there is... and I'd bet that Dodger's got a real task-master of an inner-critic too... LOL...   )  My suggestion, be gentle with your characters, and be gentle with yourself--you'll be amazed at what you all will create together...   (Yes, I smile like this in real life too!  )  

+100 on what davey said.  Robbie will grow up and, hopefully, conquer his demons.  If I read the future right for him, he will grow into a fine man who travels the world and maybe even has a side hobby of writing about his youth as a gay teen who is coming to terme with the hand delt him by the fates.  Just my guess, but I am going to keep reading to find out......

Sue: “That wasn’t funny Robbie.”

No, no it wasn’t.  Those were his second thoughts that he denied having.  I’m really disappointed that Robbie didn’t seek out his options and learn what his rights were. There needed to be conditions before this proceeded.  They weren’t even discussed.  He has real problems and is adamant that Don isn’t his father?  Well the time to discuss and resolve that was before he told the judge everything is just peachy and let’s go ahead with this adoption thing.  

Also, the pool thing?  Yeah fuck that.  Not funny.  If that were me I’d have literally no problem walking out of “my” party. I’m probably just a stick in the mud though.

On 3/9/2018 at 7:17 PM, spikey582 said:

Sue: “That wasn’t funny Robbie.”

 

No, no it wasn’t.  Those were his second thoughts that he denied having.  I’m really disappointed that Robbie didn’t seek out his options and learn what his rights were. There needed to be conditions before this proceeded.  They weren’t even discussed.  He has real problems and is adamant that Don isn’t his father?  Well the time to discuss and resolve that was before he told the judge everything is just peachy and let’s go ahead with this adoption thing.  

 

Also, the pool thing?  Yeah fuck that.  Not funny.  If that were me I’d have literally no problem walking out of “my” party. I’m probably just a stick in the mud though.

On 3/9/2018 at 8:06 PM, BlindAmbition said:

I  agree with both of these things. Robbie struggled from beginning. Should have had counseling after the death of his mum. Most certainly after attack. I don’t think he realizes just how serious the situation is. He just gave them legal control. Knowing that Sue and Don do for themselves.

I agree with both of you but what you have to remember is that Robbie is of British descent, as is Don his uncle/dad which brings into play the 'good old British reserve' and 'stiff upper lip'. It's been a way of life here in the UK for so long it's ingrained in all of us. Just because Don now lives in Canada don't mean that he has 100% embraced the Canadian attitude to life, I've seen that among many ex-pats when I've visited friends in Vancouver.

All that aside it's a good story with lot's of fun, drama and emotion, all of which have their place in life and the story.  

The story could carry on more, but then the line has to be drawn somewhere. Maybe a follow-up could be good but it's necessary.

This is an amazing story. Took me a while, but I am finally finished it. Great job, Dodger. It's only been 2 years since I was just like Robbie. Dealing with a lot of things that was totally not under my control. I see so many things that makes him so similar to me.

Now that I have finished the last chapter, in a very big way, I am glad that he and Nathan are no more. Since he knows about Alex, I don't see that relationship going anywhere. Just my observation, but he is striking out at people (just like I did) because he feels all alone. He wants what the Taylor family is offering, but he can't deal with Don's acceptance. 

I can't wait until the next chapter is posted up. It's really a crying shame that Rory is not available. Although I am not convinced that Rory is as straight as he wants people to think he is.  But I am rather disappointed in what Robbie did to the cousin. To me, that was just so wrong in so many ways.  He needs to have a bit more self-control all the way around. Hopefully in the future the counseling can help him cross that bridge.

So not so sure where to go from here, been brilliant; but sorta getting depressing  

I read the story up until this point.

Writing is good (some grammar and ? errors) but the plot is seemingly going nowhere. Problem after problem for Robbie, and if something seems resolved, it probably isn't. Then add more problems. Story hints at the end of each chapter don't happen, or happen several chapters later. No consistencey here.

Should have been broken up into smaller parts, its a very very long story.

I’ve just the latest chp and I think it is the author’s gift that he can get inside his character’s head.  I heard myself telling Robbie not to stay with Alex, the reader knows it will end in tears, and yet I feel drawn, yet again, into the latest saga.  

Dodger says it’s a kind of soap opera. Perhaps but it is a bloody well-written one. 
 

keep it up, Dodger and a huge thanks. 🤗🤗

Wow, we have reached one million words. Congratulations 🎊