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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
18 Weeks of Twoey - 44. Week Seven Tuesday, October 14, 2014: Confidence
“You seem to be sorta ignoring Erik lately.”
“He’s not my favorite person right now.”
“What happened?”
“He pushed me and got into my space.”
“He pushed you?”
“Yeah, but not hard. He slowly pushed me back into the gym wall pad and then got in my face.”
“It’s about Twoey, isn’t it.”
“Well, yeah. He thought I was holding out on information. Why? What does Twoey have to do with it?”
“Jesus David, you sure are dumb. He’s jealous! Don’t you see how moody he’s been with Twoey in the hospital and nobody being able to visit? Except, of course, YOU.”
“I thought it was cuz of Danny. And what do you mean jealous?”
“Well Erik and Twoey were getting sort of close, before the ...y’know.”
“They were?”
“OMG ...forget it. We’re home.”
Coming in from the run, I was thinking about what Gary could have meant when I saw my Dad, awake and pouring a cup of coffee. I quietly beckoned him to follow me up to my room. When we got there I shut the door. As I began stripping off clothes for my shower, I said, “Dad, you have to do me a huge favor and call Dr. Keating for an appointment. Only don't tell mother. I'm begging you.” I gave him the card.
“Oh David, I don't like to go behind your mother's back on things. And you know how rigid she is about this topic.”
I stood there naked before my father and lowered my head. “Please Dad, keep the card and think it over. I love you Dad. If you love me and want me to stick around, you'll find a way.” Then I left to take my shower. I hope I didn't overplay it, but there is more than a touch of truth.
I finished the shower with a new plan, a new resolve coursing through my body. I've had enough of this little grudge between me and my birth-giver! I'm going to be adult about it and be totally in control of myself where she and the pig-fucker intersect with my life. I've seen enough thoroughly awesome stuff over the last two weeks, making their view of reality absurd and childish. Starting today, I am Mr. Confident.
I also decided I would finally become a good boyfriend to Kathy. I would stop this silly game I was playing in my mind and would be Mr. Confident with her too. Maybe it’s me forcing her back into Cal’s clutches. Today begins a better me!
I wore black skinny jeans and a two-year-old black shirt from the back of my drawer which, for some reason, I hadn't dumped. It fit really perfectly, like a second skin! (I wonder if I have more of them in there ...at least until I gain my weight back.) Only Tommy and his mother were at the breakfast table as I strode in and filled my bowl with lots of cereal and mixed in fresh fruit until it was heaping. I added the honey and milk, pouring a big glass for me too.
I began eating. Tommy asked, “How’s Twoey? You saw him Sunday. What did you guys talk about?”
“He’s improving, I guess. He looks like crap and can't speak yet. When he gets home in a couple of weeks, I’m going to be there after school to help him catch up with his classes. I’ll be staying into early evening and eating supper there, so no one has to worry about me here.” I thought I would help her out on shopping quantities, although I haven’t been much of a factor so far ...hehe.
She began to speak.
“I'm not sure you should be spending any time at all with that boy. The women at church think he was the reason for the shooting in the first place.” I guess the big military cover-up was somehow blown.
OMFG ...I was instantly furious!
[fuck!] ...Anger...
[control!] ...Simmer...
[take control!] ...simmer...
[OK, you got this! - Be Mr. Confident!] ...Then, calmly ...I spoke to her for the first time in two weeks.
“So let me get this straight. Enos Johnson’s harem is proposing that a 15 year old boy is responsible for a gun-toting, drunken, control freak murdering his own son? Is that what they’re suggesting? I’m having trouble following their perverted logic.”
I took a bite and chewed it down before continuing.
“You know, Danny and Twoey were both part of our gang. It could as easily have been me there with Danny instead of Twoey. Would you consider it my fault then? Would you be sacrificing your own son on the altar of Enos Johnson?”
“Well David, I think you should be careful who you choose to be friends with.”
“Well, you know what? I'm thinking the very same thing! You really should.”
I slowly finished eating my entire breakfast, grabbed my backpack and kissed her on the cheek before I left. Maybe Tommy can explain to her what I had really said. I think the cow's too stupid to get it.
I actually ditched my first period English class and went to the cafeteria. I hope you don't hold it against me. I was beyond furious! I had to talk to someone, and there was only one person available.
I called Grampa. I wasn’t worried he’d be asleep cuz he gets up at like 5 every morning.
He joked with me a little, wondering why I hadn’t been asking for any dollars lately. I explained the mother of a friend was feeding me, and she was a good cook. He laughed and said he better send her some bucks.
I quickly got right down to it. I explained she was also the school psychologist and had recommended Dr. Keating because I’ve been depressed and had some anger issues. I told him what Dad said this morning and I didn’t know what to do.
Grampa was quiet for a while and then told me to call him whenever I needed to talk about stuff. He said he loved me unconditionally. If it ever started getting too much, call him and he would fly me to NYC to take a break from that woman, as he put it.
After ending the call, I felt a little better. At least I had two adults in my corner now, Ginny and Grampa. I chilled for the rest of the period. As I was about to leave for second period, I received a text from my father.
My father can text??? I never knew that!
He wrote < Thursday 3:15 Dr Keating >
I really do love my father. He surprises me more each day! OK, three adults in my corner!
Now I was pumped!
Before math began, I went back to Kathy's seat and noticed she was scanning my body from head to toe. I'll hafta remember this shirt for special occasions. Anyway, I bent over and kissed her hard. I even slipped my tongue into her mouth and started making out right there in class. Finally I heard Mr. Elcher call my name, telling me to get to my seat. He glowered at me all the way there! Kathy's gonna know she's my girlfriend from now on! So there!
Terri blushed and smiled at me, then whispered, “I'd kill to have Ron do that to me in class.” I suppressed a giggle and winked at her.
The nurse was disappointed I only gained one pound. I thought it was fine, after all, I am on my way up. Also, Ginny's cooking is gonna fatten me up, so I'm not worried at all.
Apparently there's one kind of news that travels fast in school because my kiss was the first topic of conversation at the lunch table. Jeez, it's only been one period! Gary and Nels were all over me with praise and congratulations while Sam only gave me a strange look. Matty kept trying to change the conversation. Erik was more in my corner, but seemed sad. I don’t like him anymore, but I can feel empathy. Somehow I think Erik is gonna be sad for quite a while, and I know it's because of Danny, not Twoey. I wonder if they ever did stuff together? Erik doesn't seem gay, but he and Danny had been pretty close. Maybe only just as good friends ...I don't know ...it's too confusing ...but the fucking asshole bastard is hurting.
In social I could not believe the bullshit Burch was lecturing at us today. It was what they teach fourth graders about the founding of the country. Plain oversimplified stuff, ignoring the real issues of slavery and the treatment of Native Americans. Like that stuff never happened. I made sure to roll my eyes every time he looked at me. I should have been practicing my crazy looks, like I promised to do ...hehe.
I’m so happy I have Biggy to talk with every sixth period. I can be completely at ease with him. He’s not into the gang’s politics nor is he interested in my private life at all. We work out, spot for each other and he makes recommendations for my training. We never stop talking though. I even gave him a little advice today. He was complaining about his sex life, or lack of it. I know he strikes out with the cheerleaders all the time, probably because he tries so hard with them. They’re all like hyenas who can sense a weakness.
“Look Biggy, I think you should drop the cheerleader hunt and look around your classes for a shy girl. Try to be nice to her, but don’t come on so strong. Like ask for her help with a homework question or something. Once you’ve broken the ice, always say hello, every day. Ask her a question once in a while. Say her shirt goes nice with her eyes. Just little things, every couple of days. Don’t overdo it. If she seems happy when you talk to her, then expand. Take her to Timmy’s after school. See what she’s into. You know, take an interest. Pretty soon you’ll have a girlfriend.”
I hope he can drop the hungry lustful aura about him. Biggy’s a pretty nice guy under all that shit. I wonder where he got the idea being an annoying stalker was the way to get a girlfriend?
Cyrnn must have made a long weekend out of it, cuz he wasn’t in today. The sub wasn’t PhysEd, so some kids had pick-up games of basketball while others sat around and talked. Matty and I did a little of each. He asked me if I had any classes with Martin from XCountry. I told him only bio. It was a strange question cuz he never followed up with anything. I kept waiting for him to ask something else, but he never did. I didn’t realize he even knew Martin.
Coach Basuba worked with only me for half an hour today, trying to improve my pacing, and moved me to the second phase. I had to update him on my morning run times. He seemed pleased but urged me to run more! He told me to run before supper! Jeez, how many hours does he think there are in a day?? I was so wrapped up in the thought of an extra run, I forgot to tell him I’d be missing practice Thursday. I better remember to tell him tomorrow!
I completely skipped supper at home, using the time for homework and (sigh) another run. I showered again and it was time to leave for Twoey's house.
Ginny taught me how to make Mac 'n Cheese from scratch! It's really not very difficult at all, and certainly tastes way, way better than the cardboard tasting stuff in boxes. She was pleased when I told her my Dad made an appointment with Dr. Keating for Thursday after school. In fact, she was really happy! In fact, Give-David-a-big-hug-and-squeeze happy. It’s such a new feeling for me ...adults liking me.
Later, on the phone, Kathy was gushing. I guess the kiss made an impression on her too. She said she can't wait for Saturday. I guess somehow we must have plans for Saturday.
Twoey
I've been thinking. Crap ...what else can I do in this place. Usually when Mom says she's worried about someone, psychologically, it means she's worried they'll off themselves.
Now I can't possibly believe it about David. He’s not depressed. He found me in the floating place. He saved my life ...I'm sure. He fixed my head pains. It’s not the behavior of someone hopeless, is it? He's looking forward to me coming home, to tutoring me and learning to cook! Plus I love him and he loves me!
When she came in today she said last night he completely broke down in her arms and cried for an hour. She wouldn't tell me exactly what the cause was. She said,“Not Yet.” But she did say she urged him to see a shrink.
Apparently she had recommended him to do it before, but David’s mother won't let him.
I wrote: “Before? Before when?”
Then: “When did you see David before?”
She only said, “Not Yet.”
It seems there's a whole world of shit going on around me I have no fucking idea about!! What's all this not yet crap? When is yet? I know better than to ask her when she's in this professional mode. It gives me one more thing to worry about. She thinks my love, my soul mate is gonna off himself? It's a good thing the blood pressure thingy wasn't on me right then!
I was literally trembling, so decided to take a walk down the hall.
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