18 Weeks of Twoey - 92. Week Fourteen Monday, December 1, 2014: Just Not Convinced

Vixere!

- Cicero

***

I dreamt of fishes again, but this time Burch was there. Can anyone explain to me why Burch is in one of my dreams? I mean, the fucker is dead! In a toilet, like he deserved. I don’t think there were any fish in that toilet. But in this very, very weird dream he’s talking to me – gently. Right away you know this was a bullshit dream. Burch never talked to me in any way but with scorn.

Back to my dream. So he’s talking to the fish, but he’s also talking to me. I know he was talking to me because he used my name. He said something like, “David, the little fish is happy.” So why is he telling me this fish is happy? When he said it, all the other fish vanished, except for one. I can’t remember anything else from the dream. Maybe I should start writing them down, in case they are little pieces of some story. Although, I can’t imagine why Burch and fishes would ever be of any concern to me.

Tommy showered me again before he went to school. The poor kid has got to be getting sick of having to do it. I’m getting sick of these casts too. This shitty plaster has begun to really piss me off! Ugh! One more week in a cast. I can't wait for next week when I have that special boot and then can go back to school. I spent most of the day trying to catch up on missed schoolwork. Alex promised to go to all my teachers today, getting as much stuff as she could. So I spent some time trying to read ahead to get a leg up, if you’ll pardon the expression.

I did manage to spend some time in meditation because I have this funny feeling about Twoey. Nothing came of it, except to make me more relaxed. I suppose I need a more focused problem for meditation to help. This is one of those times I don’t want that to happen, because it would mean something bad was happening to Twoey. I still love him, you know.

While I was at peace, I did think about the Coulton deal thing. That led me to do some Googling. No matter what those guys told me, aggravated assault resulting in serious bodily injury is a class B felony. So is kidnapping, resulting in serious injury. There is a range of sentencing left up to the judge, depending on circumstances. But the range is 5 to 25 years in prison!

I knew whatever I decided would not be the end-all of what the judge determined, but suppose it did sway him to go in the direction of my decision? Coulton and the other kid are probably about 17 years old. If I say don’t accept the deal and it goes to trial, according to the prosecutors, they could get over 20 years! They would be over 37 when they got out, if they got out. I mean, Burch got killed and they were supposed to be watching him! What could happen to Coulton over that 20 years when nobody would be paying attention? I could be sentencing him to death. Could I do that?

If I say accept the deal and they get the least sentence for aggravated assault, it could be as little as 5 years. They would be 22 and I would be only 20. Would I feel safe with them out and about? That’s really a shitty choice. Death or a virtual slap on the hand and a chance for them to do it all over again.

I was sweating bullets for quite a while. Finally, I came to a decision. I am going to voice no opinion. I’ll let the State decide how to do its job. However they decide to proceed, I won’t be responsible. Maybe they’ll get seven years. I suppose it’s the kind of compromise a judge would do. I’d be 22 and out of this place. To be honest, I don’t want to even think about that circus anymore. I told Aunt Sarah to tell Dad my verdict when he calls. She’s a good ally. I think she agreed with me. No more hate.

After school, Sam stopped in to see me, before Alex got here. Gary has swim practice and Nels is always tied up with Lauri. Anyway, I took the opportunity to mention this funny feeling I had about Erik and Twoey. I told Sam I couldn't put my finger on it. I asked him to pay attention to them when he was with them. Sam's good at spotting stuff like that. He knows in a minute when I've got a problem. Maybe he'll notice something.

I also asked him how life was like as Deena’s boyfriend. He got all smiley and said they hit it off so well. He never thought he would find a girl so perfect for him. I guess he’s been in contact with Lisa from Syracuse. According to Sam, she’s beside herself with excitement. She wants to meet Deena. Sam’s working on the logistics for a visit.

Just before he left, he put his hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you, David. You're a real friend.”

I looked at him blankly. What was he thanking me for? He read my look, then whispered in my ear.

“I know exactly how you maneuvered to get us together – thanks for that.” And he left.

Sam's too fucking smart!

Oh yeah, how could I even forget? There was one last unbelievably weird thing this afternoon and it involved my best friend.

Gary stopped in on his way home from practice. Deciding it would be good to update him on the whole legal thing, I first explained about Burch being dead. He didn’t even seem surprised. It was like he already knew. I thought those prosecutor guys were keeping it quiet. I guess not. It must have leaked out somehow.

Next, I explained about the choices I had to make concerning Coulton and that other kid. When I told him what I had decided, he just shrugged.

“It won’t matter anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

Gary stood there, looking at me for a short while. I could tell he was considering something in his head, then he made a decision. I can read Gary so well.

He dug around in his backpack for a minute and pulled out an envelope. He opened it and removed a 3X5 card, handing it to me.

“This came in the mail Saturday. It’s from Uncle John.”

I looked at the card. It contained one word. I turned it over. Blank. I turned it back and studied the strange word.

VIXERE

“What the hell does this mean, Gary?”

“You’re smart. Look it up.”

He smiled, turned and left.

Before I could do it, Alex arrived. I guess she had a meeting after school. But my girlfriend really came through, delivering the homework assignments from every one of my classes. We worked on Adv. Prep together a little but it was soon time for supper. After that, we did some homework downstairs in the living room. At least by doing it there, we weren’t distracted by making out all the time. She can sure be focused when she wants to.

I was going to tell her about everything with the prosecutors and the decision I had to make, but decided she doesn’t have to get involved with all that stuff yet. I’m still not certain how much is supposed to remain secret, although Gary seemed to know about Burch. I decided to wait until she says something before we get into all that.

Before long, Dad drove her home. When he came back, we talked a little. Aunt Sarah had told him what I decided, and I think he was good with it. He seemed to be most concerned with how I would be drawn in if there were an actual trial. I guess I would have to be a witness. I never thought about that.

Maybe I did make the right decision, after all.

Randy

I left a little early this morning and ran into Alex, just leaving her house. She was surprised to see me. I’m usually a late sleeper.

“You’re up early! Something going on?”

“No, not really. I just woke up early and decided to hit the library before classes to do a little research for English. So how about you? I haven’t seen you around much.”

“Well I spend most of my time at David’s. He can’t go out except to walk a bit, so I help by keeping him company.”

“I’ll bet!”

“Now Randy, don’t get nasty! He is my boyfriend, after all.”

“Yeah …I know. How’s that working out by the way?” I really was curious.

“It’s unbelievably fantastic! He’s a wonderful kisser, even though he’s sort of bound up by those casts. I can’t wait until next week when he gets most of it off. Things just get better and more intense every day. I’m falling over the cliff!”

“I’m happy for you Alex. But be careful don’t break your head falling, if you get my meaning.”

“Don’t be jealous, Randy. It doesn’t become you.”

“Alex darling, I’m not jealous, simply concerned for my best friend.” She narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

We finished walking to school but that started me thinking about all this. It stayed with me the entire day. How could I have been so wrong about David and Twoey? The first time I saw them together I could sense the connection. Those two boys love each other. There is no other explanation. I figured he’d shut Alex right down, before she got past the crushing on him stage. But that didn’t happen. I don’t know if it was the assault or what, but the whole world twisted, right in front of my eyes!

Suddenly, Twoey is boyfriends with that older wrestler and David is boyfriends with Alex. According to Alex, it’s getting more serious every day! How could I have misread him so badly? I mean, nobody’s gaydar is perfect, but this was more than just that. This was a dynamic between David and an obviously gay Twoey. I don’t think I would have thought David was obviously gay without seeing the two of them together, but he was certainly plausibly gay. When we first met him, Alex and I had a little silent competition. I wasn’t sure what his orientation was. But the relationship between him and Twoey was the clincher – or so I thought.

I’m still not completely convinced. Call me oblivious to the obvious, but I’m still not convinced. Something doesn’t add up. I’ve spent my whole life studying people …boys in particular. I’ve never been this wrong. I’m just not convinced. I don’t know what to think.

I’m just not convinced!

Alex

I had finally finished gathering work for David. But after school, I had a debate club meeting to endure. It wasn’t until after 4:30 when I could leave and finally head to his house. The poor guy looked so bored and thankful for the work. Just lying around has to be terrible for someone as active as my sweetheart! He seemed especially happy I was able to get his math for the rest of this week. He said he’ll be back in school next Monday or Tuesday and so he’ll get all of the math caught up tomorrow! He said then he would concentrate on readings for the other subjects. I think he’s a math genius.

After I was there for about a half hour, his brother came home. He stopped for a minute at the door and his face just lit up in a huge smile, with that twinkle in his eyes.

“Hi Alex! I’m home!”

David gave him a wry little look. “I’m in here too, you know.”

“Yeah, but I see enough of you in the morning. In fact, I see all of you in the morning. I think it gives me nightmares. Hey Alex, do you want me to show you how to give him a shower? It will be good for my mental health.” He had such a devilish look on his face.

“Tommy!” David gave him a little warning.

“He makes me wear a swimsuit. I bet he’d let you wash him naked!”

At that point, Tommy had to dodge the pillow David threw at him. He's so cute. I know he likes me. But I really know he likes it, that David and I are together.

We did our homework and I stayed for dinner, then David's father took me home. Later, I received the bedtime call from my boyfriend.

I always look forward to that.

Lanni

I must be cursed. Every time I find a boy who is nice, that I can enjoy being with, he turns out to be gay. First it was Twoey, who at least was upfront with me, although he was shot in the middle of our never to be dance date. Strike one!

Next was Martin, who I caught on the rebound from some cheerleader slut who dumped him. We went on two dates before he admitted he was more gay than straight. Strike two!

Then David comes to the rescue with our Halloween spectacle. He seemed to really like me and I thought my luck had finally changed. But then he didn’t take the next logical step. I had that eerie feeling of deja vu. I was certain he was gay. In the closet, for sure, but gay. Strike three!

Now he’s going with Alex Reich. Go figure. Twoey did eventually take me to the Thanksgiving Dance, and he’s a nice guy. I like Twoey a lot, but there is no future with him. That’s for sure. Deena is with Sam most of the time and here I am, nowhere.

Am I that ugly? Well, at least Cal in my bio class doesn’t think so. He’s always flirting with me. Of course, he flirts with all the girls. At least he’s not gay. Tomorrow I think I’m going to flirt right back. Maybe he’ll make a move.

He looks like a fun guy, anyway.