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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

18 Weeks of Twoey - 67. Week Ten Thursday, November 6, 2014: An Offer They Can’t Refuse

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This chapter contains a fleeting thought of suicide


“Sometimes it is necessary to be lonely in order to prove you are right.”

- V. Putin

***

I woke up, being gently shaken. I was in a ball, completely wrapped in my quilt, totally closed off from the fucked up world around me. I knew it was Tommy.

“Time to get up if you're gonna have some breakfast before your gang gets here. You didn't run this morning.”

“Go away!”

“Are you sick? Should I tell mother?”

Go away!!”

I felt him gently sit on the bed. His hand was on top of my quilt, resting on my back, rubbing a little. “What's the matter David?”

I squirmed up, pulling the cover off my face and yelled at my brother.

“What part of GO AWAY do you not fucking UNDERSTAND?”

He jumped off and flew out of the room glancing at me unhappily, as he shut my door. I burrowed back into my nest. I hated, really HATED to do that to Tommy, but I had to.

My head was throbbing with the knowledge it now contained. It is knowledge which will change my life from this moment forward. It is knowledge which will wreck my family too. It is knowledge no son should ever possess. And I don't even know what to do. If I ignore it, then I'll be the only one to suffer. If I don't, then everyone else will. I can't even look at anyone right now. The guilt of this is pounding into me like a sledgehammer. I can't function in any way until I work this out.

It started with the cam pic after she was screaming with the dolls. He was holding the woman, I thought to calm her down. Then he kissed her! The next picture showed a serious lip-lock. Each of the succeeding frames revealed, thrust by thrust, the stabbing to death of a family ...my family. It was a filthy porn flic.

It featured ten pictures of pig fucking!

 

RIGHT. ON. MY. BED!

 

It didn't look like their first time either! After they were done fucking, they dressed and then both looked through my drawers. He picked up the dolls and was examining them carefully while talking to her. Then they must have closed the laptop. The last time stamp was 11:14:30.

In only one hour they managed to fuck each other and my life. I went back to sleep.

Waking up a little before noon, I wandered through the house. She wasn't there. It’s a good thing. I couldn’t rule out murder. She was probably getting herself fucked on the altar. She didn't even bother to check on me, probably afraid I'd put a hex on her or something.

I went back upstairs to take a shower. Then I changed and washed my sheets. I even washed my quilt. I cleaned my room with Lysol.

 

Every fucking surface!

 

I went into the garage and got two more dolls and hanged them from my ceiling light. I even made nooses with the string.

There is this feeling of sadness permeating me. I figured I’d better meditate because I have absolutely no fucking idea what I should do next! After counting down - I can't remember how many times - I was finally at my healing place. Putin had a smug look on his face.

“My life is over.”

“No my young friend, this is not true! Your life has really just begun!”

“My family will be dissolved. My father will be crushed. They'll divorce and I'll have to live with her because the wife always gets the kids. She'll probably marry him and that'll be my new family ...24 hours a day of absolute hell. I Can't Do It. I don't WANT to kill myself, but there's no other option. I might as well get it over with now. At least if I do it now, my father and brother won't have to suffer.”

“No no no young David! You are not thinking clearly. Remember I told you investigations sometime give you answers you were not even looking for. Well, you have it. It is what we call in the business, the nuclear option. It means you will blow them to destruction if you choose to use it. And you will force them to make you choose NOT to use it. Your family will be safe.”

“I don't understand. How can not using this accomplish anything?”

“Consider what you want. You want to keep them from spying on you. You want nothing to do with that church. You want nothing to do with that pastor. You do not want them to interfere with your choice of friends. You want to break the Sunday routine. You know if it happens for you, it will shortly be true for the family members you love.”

“OK, true enough. But how does this accomplish that ...I don't understand.”

“It happens because it is much easier for your mother to grant you those wishes than it will be if you exercise the nuclear option. It's simply a matter of the easiest path. You are merely showing them the easiest path.”

“I still don't see a plan of action in what you're saying.”

“The plan of action is they must learn you know what they did. Then, they must realize the price for your silence is for them to never again interfere with you. You can do it brutally by showing them pictures of what they did, or subtly by making them realize you do know and have evidence, even if they're not sure exactly what the evidence is. I would prefer the second method because it gives you more options and forces them to guess at the full extent of your knowledge. People always guess the worst case scenario. But the choice is yours. The first is faster, the second more subtle and with maybe greater results in the future.”

“I'll need to think on this ...A LOT.”

“Good, my young friend. It is always a smart step in any plan. Do not forget your allies. They can sometimes help if you choose the more subtle approach.”

“My allies?”

“Sam.”

“Of course! ...He should have been my first thought. Thank you Vovochka!”

When I returned to full consciousness it was 1 PM. I started my computer and disabled the startup program. I won't need it for a while. Then I backed up the damning pictures to a file on the hidden hard drive. I also backed up the file to a flash drive. I then changed the initial password from the Psalm thing to one they could never guess. Finally, I printed a sign for my bedroom door.

ANYONE ENTERING THIS ROOM

WILL LIVE TO REGRET IT -

DO NOT EVEN KNOCK

I also locked my door. That should keep me isolated from the family or from any of the gang trying to visit, and will prevent any accidental disclosure.

Next, I had to do some serious plotting. I also needed to see Sam. I’ll visit him at about 7:00, right after he has supper. I figured I’d just surprise him. I hope Ginny doesn't get mad, but I can't go over there today.

Fuck! I was supposed to see Mr. Field this morning. Well, tomorrow will have to do. What's the difference if my suspension starts one day later?

I just lay on my bed, trying to think, when I drifted to sleep. I guess I didn't get a lot last night. I woke up after 5:30 and heard people moving around the house. I heard Tommy walk by my room a couple times, but thankfully no one knocked or tried to come in.

How do you come up with a way to let them know you know? Since they always function in the world of sin and punishment, I needed to somehow label their sin. What do you call it? Fornication? He's always sermonizing on forny-caters and I wondered what it was exactly. So I Googled it and discovered it is sorta what they did. I mean they aren't married to each other.

But there's another word, another big sin that has to do specifically with marriage. I could almost remember it, but I usually need to use a word to remember it, and I certainly have never used that word. I knew it sounded strange, like not what it seemed to mean, like... adultery! That was it! I wondered why it had adult in it. So I Googled and found out why. To keep the bloodline clear for inheritance purposes. Leave it to the religious nuts to worry about money stuff and adulterating a bloodline.

So Prick and Pricka broke the whichever commandment of thou shalt not commit adultery! Wow a real commandment! That's some heavy sinning for a pastor who, at least, seems to have lived up to his nickname.

Hey Vladimir! ...You were right!

It was about five to seven when I snuck out heading for Sam's house. I didn't even bring my phone since I'm gonna leave it off until tomorrow.

“Dude! You're alive!”

We were on our way up to his room when he stopped me on the stairs. “Did you have supper?”

“Mmmm ...I don't think so.”

“What do you mean you don't think so? When was the last time you ate?”

“Mmmm ...it's hard to remember, but I think it was a hamburger at Twoey's.”

“Twoey's? When?”

I quietly said, “Last night.”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Go up to my room, I'll be right up.”

A couple minutes later Sam came up and started talking about school. In fact, he started with before school.

“Jesus, everybody was worried! Your phone was off and everybody tried to call you. None of the gang knew you weren't going to school until your brother came out and told us, and he was crying. Then Chuck meets us as we were walking into school with the same complaint, and everybody got about 2000 texts from Twoey all day long. To top it off, we get a visit at our lunch table from the fucking vice-principal!”

“Language Sam!” Sam's mom corrected him as she brought me a plate of sandwiches and a glass of milk. That made me chuckle.

When she left I asked, “What did Mr. Field want?”

“He wanted you, you dickwad!”

“Yeah, I think I'm gonna get suspended for telling Mr. Burch he was a fucking asshole.”

“You said that?”

I chuckled more. “No but it wouldn't have been hard for him to read between the lines, even someone as stupid as him.”

“So that's why you ditched school?”

“No, actually not. I had quite a shock last night from our surveillance cam.” I started to tear up.

“Oh shit! What did you see?”

I gave him the whole story, every fucking detail ...even to washing my quilt! ...even to hanging the dolls.

“Jeez David, that's heavy shit. No wonder you ditched. Do you want to go out back and have a hit?”

“Uh ...no. Thanks anyway. Someday you'll lure me into your evil ways, but not today.”

“It'll help with your outlook.”

“No ...but I do need your help.”

“You know ...anything you want.”

“Well I've been worried that this is gonna break up my family. And if they get a divorce, we kids will probably be awarded to her. What if she marries that asshole and he's my new father. I think I'd rather hit the third rail.”

“You remembered the song!”

“Yeah, I do. So anyway, it occurred to me I don't want everybody to know what they did and they sure as hell don't want everybody to know, so I sorta have a bargaining chip ...and if they bargain and win, then I win too ...I just can't let them realize it.”

“Bargaining chip? David, is that your euphemism for blackmail?”

“Well Sam ...which is the worse sin, adultery or blackmail?”

“Adultery is in a commandment.”

“Exactly.”

“So you’re gonna call them in like the fucking Godfather ...make them an offer they can't refuse?”

“Close. The offer they can't refuse is my silence for them keeping the fuck out of my life. Now they can't really refuse that, can they? I mean a pastor breaking such a big fucking commandment? He’d be toast around here, right? And all he has to do is forget about me ...and never again fuck. on. my. bed!”

Sam was cracking up now.

“We have to get you one of those Mafia hats and a white tie for your black shirt. Can you smoke a cigar?”

Now I was cracking up too.

“Actually what I want to do, and this is where I need your help, is figure a way for them to realize that I know, and then have them come to me for the deal. I think it'll actually work better that way, instead of me going to them. That's too much like blackmail. It’ll be like them selling me an idea, my silence, for a price that I pick. They'll probably be thinking of money or something. But this deal will seem so much easier for them to grant. It'll be the offer they really can't refuse! Now, how do I make them know I know?”

Sam began to throw out and then reject thought after thought. I like the way he works. Even ridiculous ideas were considered and then rejected. Sometimes he'd latch on to one little part of an idea and jot it down on a notepad. After he had spent a bunch of time doing this, he looked at his notepad and tried to fit together these little pieces into some kind of actual action that could be carried out. Then he did the same thing, tossing some away and grabbing parts of others. It was a real eye-opening experience for me to see his mind work in this free-form way. It's so much different from the way my mind works!

While he was doing this, that damn radio crackled behind me again, with some guy rattling off codes and directions for cars. I had almost jumped out of my skin again. Why does Sam have this stupid thing and why doesn’t it make him jump?

Finally he announced, “SIN!! ...sin is the way into this. You have to become suddenly uber-interested in sin. You have to be interested in the comparative worth of various sins. Always use adultery as one of the sins you compare to other ones. You're pretty damn smart ...you'll be able to come up with comparisons which will make adultery seem like the worst sin there is. I think you have to do this with your mother every single day. I know it's a chore to interact with her, but hey ...think of the endgame. I think you also have to do it with the pastor too, every chance you get. At church, in the stores ...even go to that fucking Teen Bible study, he'll be there! It'll give you another chance to keep up the drum beat: adultery, adultery, adultery, adultery, adultery, adultery!”

“Do you think it'll make them realize?”

“It's got to. They fucked in your room! In fact, take that last pair of dolls and put them in various sex positions. Take his pants off if you want. Keep changing the positions. Keep your door wide open so even if she's only walking by, she'll see the dolls fucking. She already knows who the dolls stand for. This can't miss. One day they'll have to confront you and that's when you pull out a print of them fucking on your bed. Then the offer, and then you're free!”

“It's worth a try Sam. It sure beats the alternative. Thanks again for being you. ...Oh, you’re taking Lanni to the dance?”

“Yeah. Twoey asked me since you're taking Deena. Aren't you a little scared of her?”

“No! She comes off as all rough and tough, but once you get to know her you realize that's just her way of being honest. She is painfully honest! You'd like her ...Really.”

Haha ...you're making her sound interesting.”

“She is. Hey ...here's an idea. Why don't we double date for the dance. We'll take them to Kory's and then the dance. They're good friends anyway ...sorta like us. This way you'll get to talk to her. I'll bet you guys will become good friends too.”

“Why not? The dance is the 22nd so we'll plan for it.”

“You got it. Um ...thanks again Sam. For everything: The plan, the food, lifting my spirits and the friendship. I spent most of the day hiding under my blankets. I really needed you today. You're a special friend.” Then he gave me a warm hug, and I went home with more hope for actually staying alive than I did when I woke up this morning.

On my way in, I grabbed the last two dolls from the garage. I left my phone off tonight. I left the sign on my door. I left my door locked.

One more night of peace, then -- attack at dawn!

Chuck

David wasn't in school today and nobody can contact him! I need to ask for his advice ...it's IMPORTANT. I have serious questions to ask David about Matty. Would I be safe with him? Could Matty be gay? Is he expecting me to do sex stuff with him? I'm not sure I want to do that yet. On the other hand, I don't want to lose him as a friend, because he's really becoming a bigger part of my life at school. I'm sweating bullets over this and he chooses TODAY to ditch school! Why is the vice-principal looking for him? Is it because he ditched, or did he ditch because he knew the vice-principal was gonna be looking for him? This Jack kid is starting to talk to me at my locker now, and I'm scared. I need advice! And he's not here and won't answer his phone. What's going on with you David?

Matty

“Oh yes right there! A little harder, no not so fast, slower and deeper, yeah like that Mark! Oh God yes ...umm ...umm ...just like that. I'm getting close, here let me turn this way ...yes! Now go for it! agh ...agh ...agh ...I'm gonna ...OOOOOOO!!”

“Mmmmmm that was so good Mark, I could feel you throbbing inside me!”

“Any time brother. You're always my favorite.”

“Oh yeah, I've got a cute little redhead staying over Saturday night.”

“Do I know him?”

“I don't think so. He's a freshman. Unless you met him last year. He lives out in the country. His name is Chuck.”

“No, he doesn't sound familiar at all.”

“Well, maybe you should go stay with Curt, at least until about midnight, because I'm not too sure about this kid. I'm about 90% sure he's gay, but there's a small chance he's not. Even if he IS gay, I've got a feeling he hasn't done anything even as serious as a blowjob yet. I don't want to scare him off. He could be a hell of a lot of fun, for both of us, if we approach him right.”

“Sure Matty, I get it.”

“When you come home, peek in and play it by ear. You'll know how far to go, if at all.”

“How did you meet him?”

“That's a real funny story because he riled up David, if you can believe that. Then when he thought David was going to pound him, he curled up on the floor. So David picked him up and carried him at our lunch table for the rest of the year. But he's a neat guy and everybody, including David, likes him a lot.”

My brother Mark was laughing. “I'm trying to visualize this kid balled up on the floor in front of David!”

“Oh and listen to this ...David ditched today and the vice-principal was at our lunch table looking for him.”

Copyright © 2016 skinnydragon; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Oh the horror of horrors.. On his bed. Gross. Skin crawls. I have to admit that I never let myself run with that train of thought, simply because I believed the Pastor and Tommy's mother were too steeped in the rightness of their religion, they would never have pig fucker sex. They were too involved with David. Well, what the eff do I know.. Poor David needs his brain bleached..
I worry still that something could go terribly wrong with the blackmail plot.. Since I can't obviously put anything past them, they just might retaliate negatively. Try to put it all on David, make him look like the troubled kid. The voodoo dolls provide grounds for questioning David's mental state.. I won't suppose what happens, I'm trusting you SkinnyD..

 

Matty. Is. A. Pimp. That's all..

 

Twoey must be going nuts not being able to reach David! I'm having that Valium now, while I wait for the next chapter.. Thanks SkinnyD!

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Thank you SkinnyD! The fun just gets funner! (that's a word, no?)

 


It featured ten pictures of pig fucking!

I thought GA had rules about this sort of thing ....

 

RELIEF, I just knew PPF had kidnapped David. Sometimes, not very often, it's really good to be wrong. But with that white van looming, I doubt David is really safe.

 

Vova gave David some sage advice, even if he watered down his explanation of the nuclear option. Back when Putin was hanging out in Prague, when the KGB was still the KGB, and the red army was REALLY RED, the collective set of polices around nuclear deterrence were know as MAD - "Mutually Assured Destruction".

 

Be very careful David, check with Vladimir often, playing with nukes is dangerous business.

 

"Prick and Pricka"? Another demotion?

 


Poor Twoey, 2000 texts, no naked call, no kisses ...

 

And poor Chuck. His questions are great, but he needs to ask Twoey, not Our Patron Saint of Clueless! Chuck, put your seat belt on little bro, you may just be going for a hell of a ride.

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Okay, I am officially and completely grossed out by Pastor Ugh and David's mother. David's plan to blackmail the pair will get them off his case (probably, though the pair's own nuclear retaliation cannot be ruled out), but in any case the descending silence may not restore parental relations in the household for the better.

 

I really feel for David's father; he loves his sons, one of whom is going through a tough time grasping his own identity; probably loves his wife (despite her infatuation with fundamentalism) and appears to be a supportive and kind person. Can't imagine he knows much joy in getting silence and stonewall treatment from David or his wife. Doubt he'll put up with it for long, which could be a real wild card David isn't counting on.

 

Sam is a great ally for David, true. Twoey is probably worried out of his mind, and Ginny is possibly annoyed. Not good.

 

Matty is getting less and less attractive; Chuck needs friends and acceptance, not an abrupt introduction to gay sex ed., at least if Chuck's thoughts are any indicator.

 

This marvelous chapter is a splendid thought-generator! Any chance we might get another chapter in about 24...minutes?

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Gaaah!! *flushes eyeballs with Lysol* How'm I gonna get that vision out of my head?! Prick and Pricka on *David's bed* - *gapes, open mouthed* Words fail me. How can David keep this from the rest of the family? Even if Putin's blackmail plan actually works I don't see how David could go for very long without telling Tommy and his Dad what he knows. Or Grandpa and his aunt. It's just too much to keep bottled up in his head for any length of time, surely.

 

Matt is reeling Chuck in slowly, and he's about to use the net. Poor Chuck is about to get a sudden education in gay sex, methinks! Well, maybe he'll be totally into what Matt's selling, who knows? Might be Matt who needs a break once Chuck gets up to speed! This story is certainly full of surprises! Thanks, Skinny!

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On 02/17/2016 02:48 PM, Defiance19 said:

Oh the horror of horrors.. On his bed. Gross. Skin crawls. I have to admit that I never let myself run with that train of thought, simply because I believed the Pastor and Tommy's mother were too steeped in the rightness of their religion, they would never have pig fucker sex. They were too involved with David. Well, what the eff do I know.. Poor David needs his brain bleached..

I worry still that something could go terribly wrong with the blackmail plot.. Since I can't obviously put anything past them, they just might retaliate negatively. Try to put it all on David, make him look like the troubled kid. The voodoo dolls provide grounds for questioning David's mental state.. I won't suppose what happens, I'm trusting you SkinnyD..

 

Matty. Is. A. Pimp. That's all..

 

Twoey must be going nuts not being able to reach David! I'm having that Valium now, while I wait for the next chapter.. Thanks SkinnyD!

Thanks for your comments Def!

 

Sorry for tempting you to lose your lunch. That WAS something severe for David to witness - what the eff did he know either!

 

You're right with one thing, we can't put anything past them.

 

I don't know if I'd call Matty a pimp, but he does have a one track mind, which has nothing to do with wrestling, although...

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On 02/18/2016 12:10 AM, said:

Thank you SkinnyD! The fun just gets funner! (that's a word, no?)

 

It featured ten pictures of pig fucking!

I thought GA had rules about this sort of thing ....

 

RELIEF, I just knew PPF had kidnapped David. Sometimes, not very often, it's really good to be wrong. But with that white van looming, I doubt David is really safe.

 

Vova gave David some sage advice, even if he watered down his explanation of the nuclear option. Back when Putin was hanging out in Prague, when the KGB was still the KGB, and the red army was REALLY RED, the collective set of polices around nuclear deterrence were know as MAD - "Mutually Assured Destruction".

 

Be very careful David, check with Vladimir often, playing with nukes is dangerous business.

 

"Prick and Pricka"? Another demotion?

 

 

Poor Twoey, 2000 texts, no naked call, no kisses ...

 

And poor Chuck. His questions are great, but he needs to ask Twoey, not Our Patron Saint of Clueless! Chuck, put your seat belt on little bro, you may just be going for a hell of a ride.

Thank YOU oxala for an entertaining review - you've certainly caught the spirit of 18 weeks!

 

MAD kidnapping bestiality, orbiting the Patron Saint of Clueless. I guess that pretty much sums it up for Nov. 6!

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On 02/18/2016 03:25 AM, Parker Owens said:

Okay, I am officially and completely grossed out by Pastor Ugh and David's mother. David's plan to blackmail the pair will get them off his case (probably, though the pair's own nuclear retaliation cannot be ruled out), but in any case the descending silence may not restore parental relations in the household for the better.

 

I really feel for David's father; he loves his sons, one of whom is going through a tough time grasping his own identity; probably loves his wife (despite her infatuation with fundamentalism) and appears to be a supportive and kind person. Can't imagine he knows much joy in getting silence and stonewall treatment from David or his wife. Doubt he'll put up with it for long, which could be a real wild card David isn't counting on.

 

Sam is a great ally for David, true. Twoey is probably worried out of his mind, and Ginny is possibly annoyed. Not good.

 

Matty is getting less and less attractive; Chuck needs friends and acceptance, not an abrupt introduction to gay sex ed., at least if Chuck's thoughts are any indicator.

 

This marvelous chapter is a splendid thought-generator! Any chance we might get another chapter in about 24...minutes?

Hey Parker!

 

You weren't the only one grossed out. I almost puked as that scene ejaculated from my fingers.

 

 

Unfortunately, David isn't finished poking the viper nest just yet. :(

 

Matty DOES seem like a hedonist in a sex toy store! :P

 

Thanks, as always, for your great comments.

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On 02/18/2016 04:50 AM, Milos said:

To quote Jimmy Fallon in the Sara skit, "Like, seriously seriously. Ew!"

Milos!

 

You summed up the chapter perfectly!

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On 02/18/2016 09:52 AM, jess30519 said:

Gaaah!! *flushes eyeballs with Lysol* How'm I gonna get that vision out of my head?! Prick and Pricka on *David's bed* - *gapes, open mouthed* Words fail me. How can David keep this from the rest of the family? Even if Putin's blackmail plan actually works I don't see how David could go for very long without telling Tommy and his Dad what he knows. Or Grandpa and his aunt. It's just too much to keep bottled up in his head for any length of time, surely.

 

Matt is reeling Chuck in slowly, and he's about to use the net. Poor Chuck is about to get a sudden education in gay sex, methinks! Well, maybe he'll be totally into what Matt's selling, who knows? Might be Matt who needs a break once Chuck gets up to speed! This story is certainly full of surprises! Thanks, Skinny!

Hey jess, thanks for the great, if somewhat nauseous, comments ...hehe!

 

You're right about it being too much for our little hero's head. He's already admitted it (sorta) to himself.

 

I think you might be right about Chuck too. Everyone seems to be selling him short. He's gay, he's smart and he likes Matty and seems to be attracted to him. Matty's gaydar appears impeccable, but who knows what he's awakening :o

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Poor poor David. Tommy's mother and PF (wait, does this make Tommy's mother a pig?) are a match made in OMFGMYEYESMYEYESOHTHEHUMANITYWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????!!!!!
We're talking about little Chuck in Matty's deadly clutches, but wouldn't it beat all if Chuck wore him out and ruined him for other guys?
And, now it's time for the "Dayne's Really Reading Way Too Much Into This" show:
So, something I've been wondering...what if Jeter and Putin really were advising David, rather than being projections of his subconscious. Like out in the world, there is a former KGB operative with a penchant for going shirtless whilst riding horses who is personally giving advice to some American kid about his adulterous mother. 'Cause that would be funny. "Hold off on the Ukraine, I have to help this so-not-gay kid blackmail his mother and pastor."

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On 02/18/2016 01:45 PM, Dayne Mora said:

Poor poor David. Tommy's mother and PF (wait, does this make Tommy's mother a pig?) are a match made in OMFGMYEYESMYEYESOHTHEHUMANITYWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????!!!!!

We're talking about little Chuck in Matty's deadly clutches, but wouldn't it beat all if Chuck wore him out and ruined him for other guys?

And, now it's time for the "Dayne's Really Reading Way Too Much Into This" show:

So, something I've been wondering...what if Jeter and Putin really were advising David, rather than being projections of his subconscious. Like out in the world, there is a former KGB operative with a penchant for going shirtless whilst riding horses who is personally giving advice to some American kid about his adulterous mother. 'Cause that would be funny. "Hold off on the Ukraine, I have to help this so-not-gay kid blackmail his mother and pastor."

Thanks so much for this dayne!!

 

Tommy's mother a pig? Hmmmm ...David might have sorta said that: "That's some heavy sinning for a pastor who, at least, seems to have lived up to his nickname."

 

Yep, he seems to have given her that honor, besides Pricka that is.

 

Now about you last suggestion. Wow, what a thought!

OK. I guess I'll need to hole up and rewrite the next five chapters ;)

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David!  tell  Grandpa!  So someone will know what happened if Burch and Johnson murder you to keep you quiet.   

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