18 Weeks of Twoey - 50. Week Eight Monday, October 20, 2014: Anticipation

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”

- Catch-22

***

This promises to be a frantic week. The anticipation makes me unsure whether I’m impatient or petrified.

It will include the final XCountry race, Dr. Keating, Twoey coming home, finding two new meditation counselors to help me with problems, eradicating Kathy, letting down Greg, the dissolving relationship with Tommy’s mother, and probably a few surprises I can't even predict. I know ...I worry too much!

“Mel is coming to dinner next Sunday to meet my parents.”

“Am I gonna be best man?”

That earned me a soft punch, but he said, “Of course! Who else would I choose?”

We kept up the banter and ...our run times are still getting better!

After my shower, I was standing in my room, naked, trying to decide what to wear when my phone chirped. It was Twoey.

“What are you wearing right now?”

“Nothing you shit! You know this is when I shower after the run!”

He was giggling. “Quick, sext me so I can beat off!”

I remembered him complaining he wasn't springing wood and figured it was the heavy meds. “Just what are you gonna beat off?”

“Hey, they must have stopped those drugs because I woke up with morning wood! And I'm still hard now. So quick, take a selfie, while you're naked!”

“Sorry, nuh-uh. My pastor said I'll go to hell if I sext girls. I can't imagine where I'd go if I sext boys!” We laughed and he asked me to text him at lunch. Talking with Twoey is so comfortable and natural. What am I ever going to do?

On the walk to school I warned them Kathy and I were over, but I haven’t figured out how to do it yet because of Greg. I asked my pals to not mention anything. The absolute worst thing would be for her or him to hear it through gossip. I must talk with Greg first, that much is clear to me.

There was no Kathy waiting for me outside math. Thank Zeus! It solved a little problem which worried me. A PDA while I’m working on dumping her ...not nice, and not David. I'm going to work on a plan in meditation, after practice tonight. So, fiddling with my backpack until the bell was ready to sound, I rushed in as it rang, going straight to my seat. I had to squeeze around that irritating little kid, who was giving Elcher grief over something on the homework. I probably should have knocked him right on his annoying ass.

As I sat down, I noticed Terri appeared sad again. I whispered, “What's wrong?”

“Ron. We argue more and more. Every weekend there's some new drama. I'm starting to get sick of it!” Well it's good to know I haven’t cornered the market for troubled relationships! I looked over my shoulder, but Kathy was talking to the girl next to her. The instant the bell rang to end class, I bolted right out of there, heading to lunch.

Before I sat down, I took one look at Erik's sad face and sorta knew what to do. “Give me your phone.” He looked at me strangely, but gave it up. I checked his contacts, found Twoey, and brought up the texting screen. “Twoey's still in the hospital but has his phone back. Go ahead and text him. It'll do you both good.” I know I don’t like Erik anymore, but it’ll be good for Twoey.

He did, and after a few minutes I could see there was a conversation going back and forth and Erik's face was all smiles. Well, that was easy. While he was texting I told the rest of the guys about breaking the news to Twoey yesterday ...and the fact he has his phone. I encouraged them to text him whenever they could because he was getting bored. They were sort of stunned and started to quiz me, but I told them the open cafeteria was not the place to talk about it. I should have told them on the walk this morning, but this Kathy thing had all my attention. I can’t wait till she’s officially gone!

Again, Matty was more serious with me at lunch, asking about how I was doing. He seemed concerned I had to relive the death of my friend. I like this new Matty. I don’t think I ever gave him credit for having much depth before. I should stop judging people before I get to know them better. For example Erik, who I judged to be a good guy until I got to see him clearer. I now know he’s not to be trusted.

Toward the end of the period I left for my weigh in. I went a little early so I could call Twoey. Well, I've gained eight pounds back of the twenty I was down, so things are improving. The nurse wanted me to gain faster, but I told her I was happy at this pace. Then I called the boy I love. I like the sound of that.

“It’s good to hear your voice David. Have you weighed in yet?”

“Yes, good news. I’ve gained back eight pounds!”

“Only eight?”

“Jeez, you sound like the school nurse. I’m perfectly comfortable with it. I’m still gaining. I don’t want to become a blimp!!”

He chuckled, “Hardly likely with what you eat and how much you run.”

“I only have a minute before the bell rings. You might be getting more texts to help you fight boredom. I’ve told everyone you have your phone back. OK ...talk to ya later.”

“Call again when you can!”

Fifth period social tested my patience ...again! This time Bastich Burch stopped me before I could escape. He said, “I hope you will pray and learn the lesson from God’s punishment on you. You realize now he is not pleased with you!” He placed his creepy hand on my shoulder. I slipped away from him and walked out, trying not to let such an evil comment affect me ...but it did.

I now officially hate his guts. I hope he dies.

Sixth period is study hall which means the weight room and I punished myself. First, that fucker Burch had my pissed-off meter at nearly a 10. Second, there’s only one more race and, goddamn it, I'm gonna be ready!!! Biggy was in there, of course. “I see you’re inspired today.”

“Yeah, the final race is Friday!” He doesn’t hafta know about Burch. Jeez, I was so angry I almost forgot about his date!

“Hey, how did your little date go Friday night? Wendy seemed awfully happy to be with you.”

“Aw David, she’s such a wonderful girl, not superficial at all. We had really long conversations over our food and I even built up the courage to ask her to the movies Saturday.” He blushed and chuckled.

“Last Saturday?”

“Uh-huh! She said yes, and we had a great Saturday too! But I was cool and didn’t force anything. I took your advice. When we walked home, I could sorta tell she wanted a kiss, so I gave her a real gentle one, then left.”

“Biggy, I’m so happy for you.”

“This morning in class she smiled and told me what a wonderful weekend we had.”

“Well I think you’re safely on the road to a great relationship.” It made me hate mine all the more. I never even once had the giddiness he’s showing. It’s because I was shanghaied somehow.

More horse in gym and that little shit Matty is springing over on one hand! But it's a fun class. I never thought gymnastics would be so much fun, well at least the horse ...we haven't done anything else yet.

Coach Basuba knows there's only one race left too! What a workout! I was dragging as I staggered home. Gary was smirking all the way. “Hey, you’re the guy who wanted to make varsity a year early! I’m happy to take it in the natural order of things.”

Once I got home and after standing under the hot shower for a long time, I turned off my phone and took my meditation position, naked as I like to. I needed the phone off, because Twoey could call me at any time, and I didn't want to be disturbed.

I began to sink deeper into my mind and had counted down several times until I was at the healing place, with the screen. I realized I no longer had the problem with Danny and Twoey. Twoey pretty much told me about it. They were fooling around and naked. I don’t need a diagram. And so I didn't have to worry about Carl McCane's secret. Twoey can keep it to himself or do whatever he wants with it. It's his secret now, not mine! I don’t think the army people care anymore because it’s old news now and wouldn’t cause a media storm if it got out. No black helicopters to worry about. I was able to put all my considerable worry in a box and place it up on a mental shelf. I felt lighter, not having his secret eating away at me.

It only left Kathy and me. I need a helper and again I'm supposed to use the first person, living or dead, who pops into my mind. First I envisioned the map of our sick relationship on the big screen. Without actually putting it there or realizing how it got there, I saw the relationship was a triangle. Kathy, Me and ...Greg were the vertices of the triangle. It sorta surprised me with Greg appearing in the relationship. It was a little unexpected. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

Now I had the picture, I needed the helper. The person who came out of my mental elevator was ... Joseph Heller, the guy who wrote Catch-22. Talk about a surprise! But these helpers usually are, I guess. So Joe and I looked over the big screen. Hey, I can call him Joe, because he's my helper! He lives in my head. Jeez, don't make fun of me!

As we studied the triangle I could imagine the sides of it as emotional connections. This is really unlike anything I have ever envisioned here before! Completely unique! Where does this stuff come from? Is it already sitting in my subconscious mind, or does it come from some place outside my being? I have absolutely no fucking idea, maybe it’s The Force …hehehe. Anyway, I could actually see these emotional connections, like they were alive. And one thing was quite obvious. The connection between me and Greg is different, and much stronger, from the one between me and Kathy.

Joe told me it meant I worried more about his relationship than the one with Kathy. He explained I needed to talk with Greg, which I already knew. He said he would work subconsciously to make me think of the right way to approach Greg. He also knew I didn't want to hurt Kathy, but said she was definitely second to Greg for my emotional health. I left him to the task and returned to my conscious mind.

That was enlightening! Maybe I should mention the Kathy-conflict to Keating on Wednesday ...but not my meditation! I don't know how these doctors feel about stuff like meditation. It's gotta be like non-union workers or something!

My evening run is actually turning into something I enjoy because, being alone, I get to think things through. Morning is my social run and evening is my cerebral run. Plus it gets me out of my room, the only place in my house I'm comfortable anymore, sad to say.

It was dark as I got back to my street. I saw a figure on the sidewalk in front of my house, so I stopped at about Gary’s house. He was bathed by the light of our large living room window. I knew he wasn’t any of the gang. He was tall, like Nels, but this guy had dark hair. He was looking at my house.

I remained motionless, observing him. I wanted to see what he was up to. I couldn’t figure him out. He wasn’t doing anything. In the dark and at this distance, it was difficult to make him out, but I’d have sworn his mouth was moving. I squinted and checked all around him, but couldn’t make out anyone he could be talking to.

I quietly approached, still hidden from view, until I saw him more clearly. Would you believe it was Josiah Fucking Coulton! A car came by, suddenly bathing him in light. He took off like a scared rabbit. I watched as he reached the end of our block, turning right, toward Peach and his new home.

Immediately running to the front of my house, to make sure he was alone, I found no one else present. Who the fuck was he talking to …himself? What the fuck was he looking at? There wasn’t even anybody in the living room! I better check with Sam to see if he can get me a pair of brass knuckles. If I find that fucking freak in front of my house again, I’m going to beat him bloody. Then he can get the opportunity to have Jesus heal him!

After my shower, I escaped to Twoey’s house. I was still a little worked up over Coulton. While bragging to Ginny about my weight gain, she mentioned Twoey was upset he couldn't contact me. OMG my phone was still off! I turned it on and called him right away to explain. I couldn't remember if I told Ginny about my meditations, so I told Twoey I was tired from a grueling practice and needed a nap ...that's why I turned the phone off. No sense getting into the non-union shit if she overheard me.

When we disconnected, Ginny taught me how to prepare veal! There are these thin-thin-thin pieces and I had to take this special hammer and pound them even thinner! I let them soak in a beaten egg while I sliced a couple potatoes, sorta thinly too. I started frying the potatoes in some butter and oil. Meanwhile she had me cut off some broccoli florets and wash them, placing them in a small Corningware container with just the rinse water still on them. We put them in the microwave and set it for only three minutes, but didn't start it. When I turned the potatoes over and they were starting to soften a bit inside, I got another pan real hot and melted butter in it. Then I dipped the veal into some breadcrumbs, coating them on both sides. She told me to press the start button on the microwave and then to sauté the veal for only one minute on each side. BANG! Everything was ready at the same time! The veal was a little rare and melted in my mouth. The broccoli was perfectly done, still bright green and with just a little bite. It didn't have to be covered in sauce to make it edible. I was a perfect vegetable! And I think I can remember every step of this whole meal, in case it's my next test ...or in case I want to prepare it for Twoey!

Later, as I neared my house, I found myself furtively looking around. Now, on top of everything else, I’m becoming paranoid! Kathy called before I went to bed. I did not answer. I’ll have the solution within a day, so no sense saying the wrong thing. She’s such a manipulator; she’d have me locked into another dance or something, before I can get rid of her. I’m lots more careful now I’ve been exposed to how she operates!

I called Twoey to say goodnight. We talked for two hours! He wanted to know everything about my day, all about the practice, what was the meal I learned, on and on. He asked about Erik and Matty and Nels and Sam and Gary. He told me he came out to Lanni and apologized to her for not explaining before he asked her to the dance. Even though the guys all texted him today, he wanted me to tell him how they were really doing. How did they each handle the death of Danny? He was so interested in every aspect of my life today, the time flew right by until he said the nurse was giving him dirty looks and finally we ended for the night with “I love you so much” as the last words I heard.

Janus!!! What a contrast to those endless calls from Kathy, where she only talked about herself.

Twoey

I knew I'd catch him naked when I called this morning! I timed it just right. He was sooo cute when I told him to sext me so I could jack-off! After that hot little conversation, I went into the bathroom and did jack-off! My dick is finally working again!

I was surprised at lunch to get a text from Erik, and we had a nice little conversation going when David called after the nurse weighed him. He's still too thin!! Mom got here after lunch and we walked the halls a lot. I'm feeling stronger all the time, my voice is too! I guess David told everybody to text me cuz I got lots of texts, even one from Lanni! She said she was coming after school to see me.

I told Mom about the text and asked her to please clear it with the nurse to let Lanni visit me. I explained what I was about to do and begged her to go home before Lanni arrived. She winked and agreed. It’s time to come clean with Lanni.

She appeared right after school. Thank God she was all alone! After reading her text earlier, I decided to come out to Lanni today. I actually would have done it in front of Deena, but it was lots easier with her alone. She smiled that cute smile.

“How are you feeling today Twoey?”

“I might not look too hot, but I’m feeling stronger every day.”

She pulled the chair closer to my bed and sat down. I reached out my hand and she put both hers around it. I took the smile off my face and looked directly into her beautiful eyes.

“I have something to tell you. I feel terrible for leading you on, but I was going to tell you early in the week after I asked you to the dance. This little accident got in the way.” She chuckled but then got sober too.

“You don’t like me?”

“Actually I do like you Lanni. I like you a lot. But . . .” I had to pause for a second to build up my courage. “It’s only ...I like boys Lanni, I’m gay. You’re the only person from Daleville to know.” (A little white lie, but she doesn’t need to know about the boys.)

“Oh! I never expected that Twoey.”

I had no idea how she was going to react. What she did astonished me. She didn’t let go of my hand. In fact, she tightened her grip. Then she half stood and bent over, kissing me on the lips. It was a gentle and friendly kiss. Then she sat back down, still holding my hand.

“It explains your curious comment at Timmy’s. You mean none of David’s gang knows?”

“Only you know.”

“Don’t be worried Twoey. Your secret is safe with me. I won’t even tell Deena, although she’d stay quiet too. I think you ought to reconsider David’s friends though. Maybe not now, but sooner rather than later. None of them strikes me as bigots.”

“I’ve been seriously thinking about it too. Um ...Lanni, I want to stay your friend. Maybe I could get to know Deena a little. When I get sprung from all this, I want to hang out with you guys a bit. Are you up for that?”

“Yes, for sure. Don’t worry, Deena doesn’t bite. It’s just a mask she wears to keep from being hurt, but she’s really sweet under all that gruffness.”

“I’ve never met her, but have heard a few stories ...hehe. Anyway, it makes me happy and gives me something to look forward to.”

We talked for a while and she tenderly kissed me again before she left. I felt good. I felt clean. I felt honest.

I think I need to do some serious soul-searching. I don’t ever again want to be placed in a situation like I was with Lanni. She’s probably correct about the gang too.

Later in the day I tried calling David because I knew he'd be home from practice, but his phone went straight to VM. It continued that way for hours. Finally, at about 8:30 he called and said he turned off his phone after practice to take a nap and forgot it off ...Hmmm!

He had to hang up and learn to cook a new meal from Mom. Then he called back later to say goodnight and we talked for hours until the nurse threatened me with a sleeping pill! I even told him I came out to Lanni. It's sooo wonderful hearing his voice more often than only on Sundays!

I love him so much!