18 Weeks of Twoey - 63. Week Nine Sunday, November 2, 2014: Evil Plan

When in doubt, tell the truth

Mark Twain

***

During our run, Gary was still going on about what a neat guy Alan from Syracuse was, when I suddenly yelled, “FUCK!” He looked at me. I said, “I was with Twoey yesterday and completely forgot to tell him we went to see Mike in Syracuse! Shit, I hope Mike doesn't talk to him before I get over there today. He'll think I'm keeping stuff about his friend from him.”

“How could you just forget? Jesus you saw Twoey right after we got back!”

I explained to him all about the visit and Chuck and what a neat guy he was. Gary said, “You know, I have a lot of trouble with Chuck.”

“Huh? ...Why?”

“He reminds me too much of Danny, even looks younger like Danny did. I DON'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF DANNY!!!!!” He really yelled that last part at me!

“Aw come on! You can't hold that against the kid. He can't help it.”

“I know ...it's just...”

Later, during his ‘naked’ call this morning, I decided not to tell Twoey about the visit with Mike. I want to tell him about it face-to-face so he doesn't jump to any weird conclusions.

The Family Breakfast. I kept repeating Putin's warning in my head.

Don't let them know you know. Don't let them know you know. Don't let them know you know.

Give them enough rope. Plus Sam has some kickass surprise for them. I have to play along with the woman and then with him later in church. Be cool. Be fucking cool!!!

Thank Zeus Dad eats breakfast with us too! “So Dad, do you think the Broncos can beat the Patriots today?”

I don't know what the woman had planned for me this morning, but my question took care of the breakfast conversation right up to the minute we left and even in the car. Tommy must have figured out what I was trying to do, because he kept stirring the pot with little comments he knew would keep Dad going ...and it worked!

While we were driving to church I was able to text Sam, setting up a meeting at his house after my visit with Twoey. So, except for this little church-bound side-trip, where I can do some meditating, my day was pretty much scheduled nicely.

Or so I thought.

As we were entering the church, there he was at the door with an evil look on his face. He stopped us, greeting the woman and then grabbed my arm to push me toward the side stairs and told me to go down with the other high school kids for our teen centered worship. So there went any hopes for meditation this morning. When I sat down and looked around I saw every freak who went to the high school. Of course there was Josiah Fucking Coulton who, by the way, avoided even looking at me. Why was I here? Because that crazy woman makes me go to this church every Sunday, that's why. Any high school kid with half a brain wouldn't be caught within a mile of this shit hole!

Some very sweaty fat-assed greasy slimeball in a collar lumbered into the room. Crap! ...this was going to be Hell on Earth. He gave us his name as pastor somethingthefuckorother (I refused to remember it) and began talking about the Devil's plans for teenagers. I was humorously thinking to myself the only way Pastor Slime could know those plans was to be in a close personal relationship with the Devil. My smirk must have pissed him off because he chose to descend upon me. Either that or this was the plan all along. But I'm probably being paranoid ...it had to be my smirk because those other tools were certainly drinking his Kool-Aid.

“Let's talk about pre-marital sex,” he said to me.

“I think we covered it in Health.”

Nobody laughed.

“Well I know they indoctrinate you in those Godless schools, but we want to save your souls!”

The loserbeams were grunting in agreement. Thinking, ‘I have to sit through this shit for an hour and a half?’ all I could conjure up were the Morlocks from The Time Machine. These idiots were probably planning on eating me too.

But I wasn't gonna be deterred. I tried again.

“Oh? ...I didn't realize there was a sexual position that saved one's soul. I must have missed that part in the Bible. Although some of the Psalms are pretty explicit, I guess.”

Still nobody laughed.

Somehow my flippant comment set him off. At least he was talking in the usual religious babble, and to everyone in general. I guess he forgot his mission was to shit on me. But he did eventually return my way when the topic switched to homosexuality. I guess it figures. At least Pastor Slime didn't have that fake Oklahoma accent Johnson does, calling them homy-sexshalls.

He specifically asked me how would I try to persuade a homosexual student to repent and be saved. OK ...enough of this bullshit! But I needed to take him apart piece by piece and not get into any multifaceted religious argument.

“First, how would I even know a student was gay, unless I ...uh ...had sex with him? Then of course, I probably wouldn’t be in the position of persuading him to repent ...hehe.”

“Oh you don't have to worry about that. The ‘homosexual agenda’ makes them flaunt their sinfulness right in your face!” More murmurs of agreement.

So I changed tactics and looked at the troglodytes around me saying, “Nobody has done that to me. How about you? Anybody at school flaunt their sinfulness at you or your holy genitals?”

They were stony silent.

Jesus, does Jesus take away their sense of humor too?

I looked back at P. Slime and said, “Well it hasn't happened to me, so I guess I can't save their souls. But just out of curiosity, how would I go about doing it?” He bit.

“First you would tell them they can renounce their sinful ways and seek comfort in Jesus, who will forgive them their sin if they never sin like that again!”

“And if they don't believe me?”

“Then you must reflect the hatred Our Father has with these unclean sinners! Let them feel the wrath of that hatred!”

OMG this idiot was promoting violence, I think.

“Pastor, I don't think I can remember even one instance of Jesus showing hatred. Has my Bible been censored? Oh wait ...there was the one little scene at the temple where he threw over the moneychangers' tables. But I think it was more anger than hatred ...and it was directed at the men of the cloth, wasn't it? I think he only preached ‘love your neighbor’ to the flocks who followed him. Don't I have that right?”

I knew I didn't have to worry about the rest of the ‘teen service’ because he was off now parsing words and scripture in a grand attempt to justify himself. I guess it's what they teach you to do in Oklahoma, or wherever he became a pastor to promote hate and violence. I was able to basically tune him out by memorizing the face of every fucking kid in that room. I will avoid each and every one of them at school.

As I rejoined my family on the way to the car, the woman asked how my service was. I explained it was eye-opening. She smiled, until I clarified.

“Until I met the pastor downstairs, I never knew anyone could be worse than Pastor Johnson, but I had been wrong.”

I have a confession.

When we got home, I decided in favor of another shower to clean away any remnants of Pastor Slime. Under the hot water I got hard as I was soaping my dick, not an unusual occurrence. I normally just beat off. Usually I never have any fantasies, notwithstanding the little Matty embarrassment. I always thought it was strange when Gary would tell me he'd think about this girl or that one. I couldn't understand it. Sorta seemed useless, I would just beat off to feel good.

But not today.

Today I saw naked flesh in my mind and it intensified the whole process, which led to a fantastic orgasm and lots of cum splashed onto the shower wall. The only problem? It wasn't Kathy or Lanni or any other girl I knew or even an actress. In fact, it wasn't a girl at all. And no, it wasn't Twoey or, thank Eros, even Matty again.

To my shock and horror, it was Chuck! I have never seen Chuck even shirtless, let alone naked. But naked he was, in my little fantasy. He was lying on my bed, slowly jacking off, while I was standing in the shower doing likewise. I hope this episode doesn't make me weird around him.

First Matty and now Chuck!

I probably need to wash my brain out with soap.

Looking for something to wear, I figured with gaining back my weight, I'll probably only be able to wear these old clothes a few more days. I dressed in a faded, very worn pair of low-rise jeans and an old band tee. Slipping out my back exit, I headed over to Twoey's.

Fuck TV football.

When Ginny let me in I said, “I hope you don't mind me dropping in today. I want to chill with Twoey for a while. Things are a little ...ah ...tense ...at my house, if you know what I mean.”

She smiled and gave me a hug as I wandered up to Twoey's room. His door was shut like yesterday. So I softly rapped and said it was me. “I'm alone.”

“Come in David.”

I opened the door and walked in but he was sitting in his chair in sweats reading in his English book. “Oh, you have clothes on today,” I said as I gave him his kiss.

He got a little red, but said, “Hey, I can fix that in no time.”

I laughed and held up my hands. “That's alright! Stay as you are. I don't think I can take another shock today.” He lifted an eyebrow and then I explained the whole sordid church episode. Haha ...you didn’t think I was gonna tell him about Chuck, did you?

“You actually said all that to a Pastor?”

“Twoey, calling this guy a Pastor would be like calling Brock Lesnar, Miss Manners. I don't even remember his name because I kept referring to him as Pastor Slime ...to myself, of course.”

That got him laughing. I sat on his bed and we talked about friends and school and who was who, cuz he's still learning the locals. “Hey, what do you think of Chuck?”

“I like him! He's got a quick mind and doesn't seem afraid to say what's on it. I still can't believe he screwed up your quiz just so you'd notice him. That takes balls! But what I don't like is that he reminds me of Danny.”

“I know. That’s what Gary says too. I think we should try to see Chuck as Chuck and not a replacement for Danny. Agree?”

“Of course! Anyway, nobody could replace Danny.”

And then his eyes filled up.

And then he began to cry.

And then he was in my arms.

He sobbed for a long time. When he finished, I wiped his tears a bit, but did not kiss him. I was proud of my discipline. I sat Twoey back down.

“I have a confession.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I forgot to tell you this yesterday, with Chuck here and all. Gary and I went on a road trip to Syracuse yesterday morning to meet Mike!”

“Wait ...what??”

“It was my idea. You know, I only got to talk to him like for one minute last Sunday, so I wanted us to sorta get to know each other a little better. I asked Gary to go along to keep me company, but I also wanted those two guys to meet and get to know each other a little too. This way if, say next summer, we all meet up to hang out a little, they won't have to break the ice.”

“Oh. Well, how did it go?”

“Great! It was better than I expected. Gary even hit it off real well with his bodyguard.” I smiled.

“His what?” I really had Twoey going now. I had a hard time keeping it all in. At least it got his mind off Danny.

“Um ...I think Mike was worried we came up there to mess him up or something. I mean, he doesn't know what a peaceful guy I am or anything, so he had this Alan kid sorta watching us from a couple benches away. I saw right through it though, so we all got together in the food court and had a nice conversation.”

“Alan Belknap?”

“Yeah. Nice guy.”

“He is. They're both on the baseball team.”

“I know. Well anyway, he and Gary really hit it off, so everybody has everybody's number and we'll try to stay in touch.” Twoey was staring at me.

“What?”

“Angel, you're amazing. I feel like I want to give you another kiss.”

“Well, even though that sounds really nice to me, you know I can't. Twoey, I can't”

“I know. I'm sorry. But I'm a little jealous of Chuck.”

I was horrified. Twoey couldn’t know about my jack-off fantasy ...could he?

“Chuck? I didn't kiss Chuck! Why would I kiss Chuck?”

“Hehe ...No Dummy! But he has a huge crush on you. He can't keep his eyes off of you.”

I laughed. “Hey, either can Pastor Johnson, but you aren't jealous of him!” He threw a pillow at me. I don't think I'll ever mention today's jack-off fantasy to Twoey.

EVER.

“Hey! You never told me about why you were so upset on Wednesday night. Remember? You were supposed to tell me last night.”

“Oh right, you don’t know. Well I couldn’t say anything in front of Chuck anyway. But Sam showed me how to install some secret picture taking app in my computer when I told him someone was snooping in my room. Even though I knew who it had to be, I got my answer Wednesday night. Not only was that woman in my room, but fucking Enos Johnson was right with her. They snooped in all my drawers!”

“Oh God David! No wonder you were so freaked. What do you suppose they were looking for?”

“I have no idea. Maybe they think I’m hiding a Demon in my underwear drawer.”

“Drop your pants and I’ll check you out, just to be safe.”

“Nice try. Anyway I’ve got to shoot over to Sam’s. He’s working on some sort of surprise for them next time they invade.”

“Angel. Be careful.”

“Twoey, even if those two try anything, they’d be too inept for it to work. Anyway, don’t forget I’ve got Putin working for me. They don’t stand a chance. Hey, don’t mention this to anyone. I don’t want them to find out I know what they’re up to.”

“Angel. Be careful.”

It was time to shoot over to Sam's and see what he had for me. Twoey followed me out as I went to say goodbye to Ginny. She asked if I wanted to stay for supper.

“No, but thanks. I’m going over to Sam's house and lately I can't be in his house longer than 3 minutes before I have a pile of food on a plate in front of me to eat. I think Sam took this weight loss thing way harder than I did. He says he doesn't believe I eat anything unless he sees me eat it.” We all chuckled.

Right in front of Ginny I gave Twoey a long, gentle, goodbye kiss.

He whispered, “Please be careful.”

I texted Sam on my way over. He greeted me on his porch, but he was staring over my head. I turned around to see that long white van suddenly speed up and proceed down the street, disappearing around the corner. I said, “That’s weird, it looked like he was going to stop until we spotted him.”

Sam shrugged, but his mouth moved silently, like he was repeating something to himself. Anyway, when we went in, his mother met me with a plate of lasagna, which we brought up to his room. As I ate, he wrote something down. Before I forgot, I asked him a question which had been sort of tickling my brain, off and on, for the last two days.

“Sam. The girl you brought to the dance Friday. Who was she? I never saw her before.”

“Lisa?” Sam had a blank look on his face.

“If you say so. I mean you brought her, right?”

“Yes. For sure. Her name is Lisa.” He kept the same blank look.

“And?”

“And Brock. Her last name is Brock.” Same stoned look.

“C’mon Sam, knock it off! You know what I mean.” Finally he cracked a smile.

“Aw, that was so much fun.” He chuckled. “Lisa is a girl I’ve known for a while. We met at a concert over a year ago. We text a lot. I thought I’d expose her to the hicks I live with.”

“Where’s she from? She doesn’t go to school here.”

“God no. She goes to Nottingham.”

“Nottingham? Where the hell is that?”

“Syracuse.”

“Oh, that’s neat. Gary and I were just there yesterday.”

“Nottingham?”

“No dork. I don’t even know where it is. We were at a mall.”

“Oh, really? Gary shopping? That is news. Speaking of news, Lisa is on the school newspaper. She knows everything about everyone at Nottingham.”

“OK. Sam, don’t keep me waiting! Don’t you have something for me?”

“David! Finally!! I’m so proud of you!” He went over and pulled out a pipe.

“STOP! That’s not what I meant.”

“I guarantee you’ll appreciate what I’m gonna show you a lot more...”

“Sam! I’m not ready. C’mon, what are you gonna show me.”

“You’re no fun. OK here it is. Fasten your seat belt and hold your balls.”

He explained he had this kickass music video of some band I never heard of, who had ‘demon’ in their name. So he showed me the video and it's pretty hard core, showing this weird creature with an animal face and big black horns out of its head. There was lots of smoke and it was all lit up red and the band was really harsh ...but it all sorta went together and must have been totally ill in concert!

Sam said this was what he began with, but it was obviously just a band video and he needed to make it seem like a real sacrifice. I guess he's been editing this sucker for a couple days now. Then he showed me the result. I almost crapped my pants! He did something to the music track to make it sound deeper and more ominous by sliding up and down in pitch. I have no idea how the hell he does this shit. But that was just the sound! The video got much more menacing. Having seen the original, I could tell he edited together pieces from all over the video to make it seem like a completely different story. It really did look like some satanic rite! I was even looking around for the body to be sacrificed ...hehe.

Now to top it off, he wrote a little two line computer program which will launch this baby as soon as someone logs onto my computer. And he has the volume set at a zillion! So now those assholes are going to think I'm in a Satanic Cult!! I can't wait to see how they'll handle that. Of course, they can't ever say how they even know. That's the kicker. So we'll have a whole week's worth of laughs over this. Maybe a whole month's worth!!!

But Sam's wasn’t done yet!

He handed me this paper grocery-store bag. I looked in it and saw a bunch of little rag dolls.

“What? Am I supposed to start playing with dolls?”

“Those are Voodoo dolls, idiot!”

“Voodoo dolls??? You don't believe in that shit, do you Sam?”

“Hehe ...David, David. The way Voodoo works is to make the victim think it works. Their own mind does the rest. You don't have to lift a finger ...just a doll and some pins.” That's when I looked at the dolls more carefully. Suddenly I flew right out of my skin!

There was a loud crackling noise right behind me! “WTF!” I yelled. I jumped up, then turned around.

Sam was giggling again. He pointed to a thing on the desk next to him. It looked like a radio. Suddenly a voice blurted out some code.

“It’s a police scanner I picked up yesterday. I went shopping too.”

“Why the hell do you need a police scanner? I don’t think Daleville police do pot raids.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

So back to my dolls. There were three dolls that had clerical collars and three in dresses.

“First, you hide these where no one will find them, like in your garage or something. Then you place a pair, one of each, sitting on a shelf in your room where they won't be noticed at first. Have them sitting back a bit and put a pin like in the shoulder from the back. That way it won't be seen unless they pick it up.”

He demonstrated by placing two on a shelf in his room and put one pin in the back of each shoulder. Sure enough, if I had just walked into Sam's room without looking at the very spot, they would only be part of the general clutter of things on the shelf. By being back in the shadows, you couldn't really tell there was a pin in each.

“Now after seeing the video, they will certainly search your room again and they definitely won't miss these two guys.”

“And... ??”

“David, after that video and then finding these dolls, they will think you've put a curse on them.”

“And... ??”

“And you will have!! That's how Voodoo works. They'll have a pain in their shoulders within a day, I bet. Pay attention to that! If you find out it's happened ...and I'm sure it will ...then follow up with another doll and pretty soon those guys will back off you ...like you're RADIOACTIVE!”

“Sam, this seems bizarre. Are you certain it will work?”

“David, I'm 95% certain something will happen, and about 75% certain it will happen like we want.”

“Only 75%?”

“Here's the flash drive. Now go home and install the program like I showed you. Hide the bag of dolls, but remove one of each and two pins. Put them sitting on a shelf. Now about that verse, I've been thinking. Maybe you shouldn’t put a Bible in your room. It looks too much like a set-up. Just be sure they see the verse next to the computer. These pastors know the Bible pretty well, so he'll recognize it as a Psalm right away. He probably has a Bible with him anyway or at least in his car. He'll have to look up the exact verse to get the number. Let them work for this and fail a few times, then when they do get it, and it's so plain they have to be dumber than a stone to miss it ...when they do get it, they'll believe they’ve outsmarted you. Hehe ...until they get hit with that video and the Voodoo dolls. I'm glad you'll get a picture of them! I can't wait to see it. Maybe you should set the camera for every 30 seconds instead of one a minute. We'll be able to see more shit.”

Sam fell into spasms of giggles and laughter, and it drew me in too! But I think Sam was a bit day hazed. No, I know he was cuz of what he did next!

“I have a confession.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Well it starts with Lisa. First let me show you something.”

Sam started to drop his pants. I started to get worried. Then Sam dropped his boxers! But it wasn’t what you might be thinking. I know it wasn’t, because he had my full attention now. At least his thighs did. They were decorated with small scars. I got closer and went to touch one, but looked up for his permission. I mean, after all, I was right next to his junk!

He nodded. I gently touched a scar. I stood and he pulled his clothes back on. I simply couldn’t understand, until he spoke.

“David, everyone has problems. Everybody’s fucked up. We have to help each other. It’s the only way we can survive. Lisa helped me. She still does. Somebody helps her. I hope I’m helping you. Without help, we don’t survive. You think I’m strong, but I’m only strong for you, not for me. We can’t be strong for ourselves. We can only be strong for someone else.”

I nodded. Shortly after, I left. The walk home was very sad. I couldn’t believe I never knew this about Sam. I mean we swam every day this summer in the lake. But Sam always wore board shorts. His thighs were always covered.

What an unbelievably brave thing to do. Could I ever share my deepest, darkest secrets so boldly? Sam must have incredible trust in me. But my hero has profound problems too. That was very sobering. What goes on inside a person to make him cut? I’m glad he found Lisa. I wonder if he’s stopped. I should have asked. Maybe Sam should visit Dr. Keating too.

When I arrived home, I stashed the dolls in my father's golf bag, because the season's over. I removed two dolls and two pins, stuffing them in the pocket of my hoodie. I went to my room, downloaded the video, installed the startup program, placed the dolls on a shelf, but decided to put a pin in the left shoulder of the woman. I'll let her be the Guinea pig. I wanted to try out the startup, but I knew it would blare too loudly. I plugged my phones in, so the laptop speakers wouldn't go on, but I didn't want to blow out my Beats. I disconnected them from the cable, so there would be no sound at all ...I already heard it anyway. I logged in and BLAM there was that scary video and I could just imagine the sound in my head. Those assholes are gonna have to change their underwear! I signed off, removed the cable, closed the laptop and made sure the strip of paper with the verse stuck out about half way from under the laptop. Now I just wait ...probably till Wednesday. I'll have to remember to put that dead cable in each time I start up my computer!

I slipped into bed wondering which one of us was gonna make the call tonight when my phone chirped.

“Angel, did I ever tell you how amazing you are? I am so in love with you.”

I started to get a little emotional. “Twoey you know how things are. You know I love you too. You know my head is fucked up. Thank God I have therapy tomorrow!” I was sobbing by the time I got to the last phrase.

“I thought you didn't believe in God?” Hehe ...he sure knows how to bring me back!!

“Hey, I didn't say which God, now did I? I was actually thinking more along the lines of Minerva, cuz she's so wise, so yeah ...thank Minerva I have therapy tomorrow!”

That brought us both back to conversation level and we talked for about an hour when we each started to yawn. “Goodnight Twoey, see you after therapy tomorrow.” And we disconnected. I was just starting to get comfy when my phone chirped again.

I clicked it on and said, “Did you forget to say you loved me?”

“Um ...David?”

“Chuck?”

“Hehe ...yeah. I didn't know I was supposed to say I loved you. Does everybody have to say that when they call you?”

“No you little shit! Obviously I thought you were someone else. What's up?”

“No no no! ...I've got to figure out who this secret lover is. I know you and Kathy aren't going out any more.”

“It's not for freshmen to know. Now what makes you call me while I'm in bed?”

“Do you sleep naked?”

“Chuck ...you really should try to stay on my good side. I beat up football players, remember?”

He giggled and said, “I wanted to call and thank you for just being who you are, and taking me in with all those awesome friends of yours, and most of all ...with you.”

“Chuck, you're a great guy too. Everybody really likes you but there's one little problem that you should know about.”

“Yeah, I already know what it is. I told you I've been watching you all year. I watched your lunch table too, ya know. I saw Danny. He could have been my older brother. I understand if some of the guys get a little weird. I understand.”

“Why doesn't that surprise me? Hey I can hardly keep my eyes open, see you tomorrow in school. Goodnight Chuck.”

“Goodnight David.”

Chuck

I was thinking about David all day today. I kept picking up my phone to call him and then putting it back down. He's going to hate me if I keep stalking him! We were together at Twoey's only yesterday for God sake!

It went on like that all day until I was in bed. I had the phone in my hand and finally I pushed the button. He answered right away but he thought I was some girl, who must have just hung up, because he thought she called back to say she loved him. So I had a little fun with him and ball-busted, as I stroked my meat. He was tired and we soon disconnected. It was wonderful just hearing his voice and then I exploded. I always have David jack-off fantasies, but to be able to actually hear his voice at the same time! Too intense! He's so handsome and has such a beautiful body. I need to work on mine. Even if he was gay, he'd never give me a second look, I'm too scrawny.

I love you David.