Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
18 Weeks of Twoey - 100. Week Fifteen Tuesday, December 9, 2014: Locked Boxes
It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
-Sally Kempton
***
Tommy came in to wake me up, but I was already awake. I told him I wouldn’t need him for a shower or shaving anymore, but thanked him for his heroic efforts to make my life a little easier these last weeks.
I texted Mike, figuring he’d probably get a chance to answer me sometime today. I only told him Alex and I would be in Syracuse on Saturday to shop and that it would be nice to meet him at that same mall if he could. Also, if he has a girlfriend, bring her too, since I’d be there with Alex. I also added there was something I wanted to discuss with him about Twoey. I figured that last part would seal the deal.
Walking to school with the gang was unbelievably therapeutic. Even though I slowed them down a bit, they were lively and seemed really happy to have me back. Sam tried to carry my backpack but I made him leave it on me. I had to get used to this thing now. I'd be stopping at the hospital after school tomorrow for rehab anyway.
In bio, I got a real nice greeting from Martin. He even gave me a small hug.
“Hey, by the way, David, do you know Ben Dolson?”
“Sure. I know Benny real well. We were in a few classes last year, but I know him mostly because he plays lacrosse with my buddy Gary. We met up all the time after the games. What’s up with Benny?”
“Well, he told me yesterday that he took Lanni Dorso on a couple dates over the weekend and now they’re going together. I remembered you took her to the Halloween Dance and I didn’t know what to make of what he said.”
“No, no, Martin, I was never going with Lanni. I was only pinch-hitting for Twoey, who was supposed to take her. That’s when he was in the hospital. Really? Benny and Lanni? I think they would be perfect for each other. They’re both a little shy, but Lanni has a devilish streak in her and Benny is one of the nicest, most regular guys I know.”
“Oh good. I was worried for a bit. So, you’re not going with anyone?”
“I am; with Alex Reich.”
“That’s Randy Foels’ friend, right? The girl he’s always with?”
“Yeah, but they weren’t going with each other.”
“Haha ...I knew that! Well, it’s good to have you back!”
I thought that was a weird exchange. Anyway, I handed in my back homework and only have to make up a few labs.
In math, I was greeted by Chuck, got a kiss from Terri and even a smile from Elcher, especially when he received my stack of homework. I was in my seat and it was just before the bell rang when I saw Erik and Twoey at the door. Twoey came rushing in to grab his seat and threw me a smile. Elcher bellowed, “Almost late again Mr. Messer! One more time and it’s detention.”
Holy fuck! What was going on with Twoey? Detention? I couldn’t even talk to him about it because Erik was at the door to collect him as soon as the bell rang to end the class. Does that fucker live in the hallway or something?
The gang plus Matty and Chuck, but minus, Twoey was at lunch. Matty gave me a big hug to welcome me back. Randy had me second guessing poor Matty now, but I tried to avoid giving off a strange vibe to him, and even hugged him back a little. Chuck and Matty are really cute and talk with their eyes a lot. They are having sex. I know it! Gary was talking about his upcoming first swim meet, Wednesday. I’m going to hit Kory’s after rehab and then wander back to school for the meet. I’ll get to watch how well Gary and Mel swim. A couple guys I knew, including Biggy, stopped by to asked how I was doing. It actually started to get a little embarrassing.
If I thought my reception was good in math, I was overwhelmed in Adv. Prep! Every single classmate came up to welcome me back. Of course, there was a nice kiss from Alex, but I expected that. I asked Randy if Thursday night after supper would be a good time to have our little talk. He said his schedule was clear that night. I only vaguely knew where he lived, so he gave me his address.
I decided to actually go to the weight room again Period 6. I figured Biggy would show me what I could do that wouldn’t compromise my mending bones. He gave me a big hug to welcome me back to ‘his’ room. As I was asking him about possible exercises, Jack Jacobs came in and rushed right over too. Biggy was afraid for me trying to stretch anything, so I told him I’d check with the rehab people tomorrow. I decided to sit and shoot the shit with them while they worked out. I found out that Biggy and Wendy were still going strong. That made me happy.
PhysEd was a loss too. I just sat on the side and watched guys play basketball. It’s when I noticed the text from Mike. He was looking forward to getting together Saturday and he has a girlfriend now. I was tickled to see it was indeed Maryellen O'Connell, the girl he was so nervous about, the first time we met in Syracuse. Saturday at 10:00 ought to be an interesting time.
Erik and Twoey are getting pretty obvious if you ask me. Alex was right. Pretty soon they aren’t going to have to come out because everybody’s already gonna know! I got a few smiles from Twoey, none from Erik and then they vanished upstairs to the wrestling room right after PhysEd.
Alex and Sam walked me home today. Sam asked me if I contacted Dr. Keating yet. Alex was suddenly all ears. Then Sam told her about my little breakdown yesterday.
Every fucking detail!
Jesus Sam, can’t you keep one secret?
So now I was going to have Alex bugging me to make an appointment! After he finished doing his damage, Sam smiled at me as he left us. He smiled! The fucker did that on purpose!
Naturally, she asked when I was going to call Dr. Keating. I told her that I would do it pretty soon. Then we discussed plans for shopping Saturday in Syracuse, but she kept looking at me like she thought I was going to become rabid and fall on the floor or something.
“The last time I was there with Mike, he was taking Maryellen out that same night for the first time. He was so shy and worried, but his buddy Alan thought Maryellen was crushing on Mike too. Well, now they are boyfriend and girlfriend! We’ll meet them at the mall up there and talk a little about Twoey. I figure, since he’s known Twoey all his life, maybe he’ll have some insight. We can split up and do some shopping. Maybe you can help Maryellen find something for Mike. While we shop, Mike and I can come up with a plan.”
Alex and I worked on homework and also made out a little until dinner time. This time, at least, it didn’t appear she was worried I would break.
“I’m sorry, but it’s time for dinner.” That was Tommy’s bashful interruption of one of our heavier lip-locks. He’s so precious. At dinner, I made an announcement.
“I won’t be home for dinner the next couple of nights. Tomorrow I’ll be eating at Kory’s because I’m going to attend the swim meet after rehab. I’ll probably eat out on Thursday too because I’m meeting with someone that night about a special project.”
Alex gave me a strange look, but said, “Why don’t you come home with me Thursday, do your homework at my house and have dinner with my family? Then you can go to your meeting.” She emphasized that last word with, idk ...suspicion?
But that actually worked out pretty well for me because she lives much closer to Randy that I do. I knew she would try to make me tell her about this ‘special project’ and find out where I was going. I knew I would have to be strong. What Randy and I were going to talk about was definitely off-limits for Alex.
Then the horror hit me. I was going to meet Alex’s parents for the very first time! But it wasn’t the real horror at the dinner table tonight. That happened when Alex made her little announcement.
“Mr. Megal, David is going to kill me for saying this, but he needs an appointment with his head doctor. Sam told me he had a big breakdown yesterday at his house. Don’t you think he already should have been getting counseling for what he went through?”
Ouch! She threw a dart right at my father!
He suddenly looked up at me, concerned. “What happened, David?”
“Oh, nothing really. With everything that happened, I guess I got a little emotional for a minute or two.”
Alex wasn’t done stabbing me.
“A little emotional? You collapsed. Sam and his mother had to put you on his bed. She was ready to call 911.”
Shit.
I caught a glimpse of Tommy, who had an agonizing look on his face. That alone made me mega-pissed-off at her.
Anyway, my father was apologetic and tried to claim so much had been going on that he never even thought about it. I’ll bet he was probably embarrassed his son was seeing a shrink in the first place, so didn’t want to deal with it again. I suppose I shouldn’t be mad at him. Every once in a while I probably don’t deal with stuff either.
But when he returned from driving Alex home, he told me he would call Dr. Keating tomorrow. Sigh
I can only guess at the conversation in that car.
I went to my room, still pissed-off. I really only had time for meditation OR Demian chapter 6. I figured meditation was long overdue, even though I was itchy to see what was in chapter 6. Shit! I won't be able to get to Demian until Friday! I’ll probably have to read chapter 5 all over again first. But Randy is involved somehow in my problem, and this was my last chance to meditate before I meet with him, so it had to be meditation tonight!
I needed several countdowns to even get near my healing place. All the adrenalin Alex had released into my body with her dinner detonation had to be tamed first. Finally, I was able to approach the windows that overlook the beautiful crashing ocean scene at the top of the stairway leading to my healing place. As I walked through the intricate door, Danny was waiting for me on a small sofa I had never seen before. I sat down next to him and just drank in the vision of my friend who was no longer on Earth with me.
Danny sat on my lap, then gently asked, “What do you know about Randy?”
“I only met him a couple of weeks ago. He’s a close friend of Alex, my girlfriend. He accidentally came out to me Saturday, so I know he likes boys. He told me he likes me but promised not to try anything with me. I’m going to talk to him Thursday night about Twoey and some of these confused feelings I've been having.”
“Are you in love with Alex?”
“I don’t know. I like her a lot, and we get along well, and she’s sexy as hell, and I know she wants to be intimate with me, but I don’t know if I love her. In fact, I know I don’t love her yet. But I’m thinking maybe I will grow to love her. I mean, what’s not to love?”
“No, David. The saying is, ‘what’s not to like’ not ‘what’s not to love.’ You know when you’re in love. There is a magnetic attraction between you and the person you love. You cannot control it.”
“A magnetic attraction?” I knew where I had used that term before.
“Yes, a feeling in the center of your gut. You can’t mistake it.”
That, of course, was familiar too. But this couldn’t be right.
“What should I do?”
“You have to be true to yourself. Maybe this is what you should talk to Randy about.”
Then Danny put his hands on my face and turned it toward his.
“This is very important David. This is the crux of your problem. You must be honest with yourself. I’ve been exploring your brain a bit and, well, take a look.”
He pointed to the screen which showed a scene similar to the inside of a safe-deposit vault at a bank.
“This is your brain. Inside each of those locked drawers is a problem that you’ve hidden instead of dealing with. The person you’re hiding them from is you. Everyone does this with a few issues, but look at the sheer size of your falseness. Falseness to yourself. The real David is the person who confronts these problems. The false David doesn’t. He just creates more little boxes. I’ve found locked doors and strong shields all over your brain. David, you are hiding from yourself. You must resolve this or the results will be catastrophic.”
A very worried look came over my friend.
“Get closer to Randy. Strengthen your bond. Don’t bail on Twoey. He’s in trouble. Strengthen your bond. Don’t underestimate Alex. Even if you break up with her, strengthen your bond. That’s what you have to do right now. That’s all you should be doing right now. You will have a complete breakdown if you don’t unlock these doors and lower those shields. I’ve always loved you and I will try to protect you. Please come here often. We’ll work your way out of this mess together.”
Then Danny spoke to me carefully and slowly, as one would to a child.
“I can’t emphasize this strongly enough. Your time is short! It is very short and your chances of not joining me are swiftly diminishing. You must act. Much as I love you, I want you to stay alive and enjoy a full life. Take it from me, it is horrible for your life to be cut short.”
He gently kissed me and then I was awake again. A prickly feeling rolled over my skin.
It was 11:00. I called Twoey but it went to VM. I called Alex and asked her to meet me at Kory’s for dinner tomorrow. I guess I need to talk to Alex. We did talk tonight for a while. Alex didn’t apologize for what she did to me at dinner, revealing my scene at Sam’s. Instead she was happy to learn my father would make an appointment for me.
I did not sleep well. I woke up and had trouble falling back asleep several times. At least I didn’t dream of fishes, but tomorrow, in school, I’m gonna feel like shit!
Twoey
I knew I needed to get over him. But his call last night was ...I don’t know, it just touched something inside me. He sounded so vulnerable and hurt. And he needed to hear my voice. What kind of sense can you make of that? Good God, all the stuff he had been through, and then his mother dead on top of it. And a breakdown at Sam’s house? But he wanted to hear my voice! I slept fitfully and woke early. I needed to tell Mom. I had a talk with her before Erik arrived. I told her about David’s call last night.
“Did you say he had shooting pains in his head?”
“Yes. He thought it was overload from all the stuff happening to him and with his mom being dead.”
“Did he tell you how she died?”
“No.”
“Shooting pains in the head aren’t so much a symptom of being overloaded, as they are of information trying to come out. Things his subconscious mind may be suppressing.”
“Could it also be just a headache?”
“Yes, but has he ever complained of migraines or any kind of headaches before?”
“No, never. In fact, he said this was the first time ever he had head pains.”
“Is he still seeing Dr. Keating?”
“I don’t know.”
“OK, I’ll check. Try to notice if he does anything unusual and let me know right away.”
“Unusual?”
“Like showing signs of anger, or fighting with his friends or even isolating himself. Those are all signs of serious depression and can be related to those sudden head pains. If you see anything like that, let me know right away. I mean RIGHT AWAY! Call, if you have to.”
“Jeez, really?”
“Yes, really.”
Erik arrived and I didn’t want to talk about David in front of him, so I changed the subject. Later, on our ride to school, I explained David would be back in school today. I suggested we have lunch at the gang’s table.
“You don’t want to do that today. Everyone is just going to be asking him about is injuries and stuff. You won’t even be able to talk to him. We’ll do it in a couple of days, after all the newness wears off. He’ll appreciate it more then, believe me.”
I wasn’t completely convinced, but he made some sense. It wasn’t worth a fight with my boyfriend to delay it for a day or two.
I did see him in math, but we didn’t get a chance to talk or anything.
Then in gym, David watched us play basketball but, after my shower, Erik hustled me upstairs to the wrestling gym pretty fast.
I would have preferred being with David a little on his first day back. Then tonight, I was going to leave my phone on, in case he called, but sometimes Erik checks by calling me back and I didn’t want to upset him. So I turned it off after Erik’s call.
Well, at least tomorrow is Wednesday, which will give me something to look forward to.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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