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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
18 Weeks of Twoey - 111. Week Sixteen Saturday, December 20, 2014: Awakenings in Syracuse
Then the great hour struck, and every man showed himself in his true colors
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
***
I woke at five this morning. I had no nightmares and no dreams that I could remember. I was rested and content. After my session with Keating yesterday, I was worried about that. But after my session with Donny, I think that part of me might have gotten cured. I didn’t want to shower yet or make any noise to wake up my brother or anyone else, so I picked up Demian.
I resolved to finish Demian this morning. It had been soooo long! I had to re-read chapters 5 and 6. Then I read chapters 7 and 8 to finished the book, but I read them too fast. What were all those symbols in chapter 7? Jeez ...I should have written them down. I needed to make a list and try to understand each in light of the whole book. I actually read those two chapters again, more slowly. Knowing how the book ended did actually help the second time through. Sinclair was now free of needing Demian and could answer his problems by reaching inside himself. I think that was what this meant. Sinclair's journey to understand who he was had led him to that.
Then I suddenly got the idea that Frau Eva, Demian, Sinclair’s mother and all the other characters in the book represented facets of Sinclair himself. We all have these parts of ourselves that are difficult to understand ...unless we view them as separate people. We can then isolate them from the rest of ourselves, and extract what they mean to us. In the end, we can then see who we really are.
I might have been reading something into this that wasn’t what Hesse intended, but what is fiction if not what you read into it – what you bring to it from your own experiences. What I was bringing to my understanding of Demian comes in a large part from me. That was why I was so captivated by this 100 year old book in the first place.
I wondered if my helpers represented different parts of myself, like the characters in the book were reflections of parts of Demian.
I figured maybe Sunday I would write a report. The first half from my chapter-by-chapter notes, and then the second part would be my interpretation of the symbols and the meaning of the entire book, as it pertained to me. I'll save that report. I was sure there would be a class in the future where I would be happy to have that little sucker on tap. That is, assuming I won’t be sent away to some asylum by then. Anyway, I would return Demian to the school library after vacation, or have Tommy do it if I’m not here. Who knows, some other ‘David’ in the future might be helped.
More importantly for me, right now, I was beginning to understand Danny’s warning. I needed to solve this problem of mine by reaching inside myself. But I couldn’t do that until I understood myself better. Danny found locked doors and barrier walls inside my brain. He said they were starting to crack and open, but I needed to tear them down. I didn’t even know they were there until my sessions with Dr. Keating. I’d need to spend most of Sunday working this all out. I hoped the weather would allow me to spend at least some time at the lake. Things were always clearer to me down there.
I showered but decided not to eat. Donny and I would probably be grazing all day. I explained to Aunt Sarah and Tommy where I’d be today.
“Who?”
“Donny.”
“Who the hell is Donny?”
“A friend from school.”
“You have a friend named Donny? Since when?”
“Remember I told you I met Barbara Nelson? Donny is her brother. That’s how I met her.”
“Oh. Well then, be sure you mention how nice I am. Maybe he’ll tell his sister.”
“You’re on your own, brother. I’m not gonna lie for you.”
That earned me a smile and a soft shove.
He was already there when I arrived at the bus station. He also had our tickets already and a broad smile. Donny and I chatted most of the way. During one of the lulls, I realized Twoey and Erik might be meeting Mike at this same mall today. I decided I should look around at the crowd a bit more than usual. And what a crowd it was! When we arrived at ten, the place was already packed.
“Look, the old cone trick.”
Donny was pointing to a parking spot near the door with orange cones on it.
“What do you mean?”
“See how jammed the parking lot is? Someone put those cones there either last night or this morning before the mall opened. It guarantees them great parking no matter how hard it is to find a spot.”
“How do they get away with it?”
“Orange cones means authority. Nobody ever questions authority!”
Wow! Donny knew a lot about how people worked. Gary too. He always says stuff like ‘it’s how the world works.’ I must have led a clueless younger life.
Anyway, we had a ball. Donny was fun to be with and I think we visited every single store. We spent the entire day, taking breaks every couple of hours to rest my leg at the food court and munch on stuff. I couldn’t talk him out of Mountain Dew though. I think he was just drinking it on purpose anyway, to needle me. Donny has a sick sense of humor. I looked around a lot, but never noticed Twoey or Mike. The mall was really packed.
We actually bought a lot of stuff and I figured my Christmas shopping was complete. Shopping with Donny brought a lot of fun back to it. We did all sorts of outrageous shit and I laughed a lot. I was a little bit of a drag on him because I couldn’t run with him through the crowds. I know this damn boot is coming off Monday, but my leg isn’t really one-hundred percent yet and the boot keeps everything from twisting. He never complained and was always waiting if I lagged behind. We rented a locker and then saw some sucky movie called Dracula Untold. But it was exactly bad enough to keep us entertained with whispered comments and jokes. The people around us were probably getting ready to drive stakes through our hearts by the time we were able to escape. We grabbed our stuff from the locker and ran for the last bus back home, laughing like idiots. Well, as good as I could run. We sat in the furthest seat back and stole some kisses on the dark ride home.
I’ll need to take Donny’s advice more often. This turned out to be the funnest day of my last few weeks.
Mike
I had texted Twoey not to meet at the fountain, but to call when they were near. I also told him to drive up to the Donkey Door, as we used to call it. Alan and I had come over here before the mall opened to put orange cones on the last parking space next to the handicapped ones. We figured that way, they would be able to park near the door. We knew this place would be mobbed, especially at noon. Twoey said they’d be in a black Mustang.
We were happy to see the cones still there when we arrived. When the Mustang approached, I went out to direct them into the space as Alan removed and stacked up the cones. He placed them behind the bushes, next to the building, as Twoey and the guy, who I figured was Erik, got out of the car.
Twoey was giggling. “Do you work for the city now?”
“Well, we knew it would be impossible to park around here today, so we sort of reserved a space for you.”
The guy smiled. Jesus, he looked way older than Twoey. I knew David said he was a year and a half older, but he looked way more mature than Twoey, and bigger, and stronger. But I decided to not make any snap judgments. Twoey introduced Erik to us. I suggested we sit out here for a bit, since the food court would be jammed at noon. I figured we could get to know each other a little better.
We did the usual shit and talked about our sports. David had told me Erik was a wrestler and Twoey was quick to explain he was on varsity, which came as no big shock considering how old he was. He was pretty well built too. Nothing bad was said, but I didn’t think I’d want Erik as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. Twoey could have done so much better with David. Erik seemed arrogant and didn’t bring much to the table in conversation. But to each his own, I guessed.
That was ...until he said, “So you’re the fake friend who shunned Twoey when he came out to you?”
I was sorta stunned for a minute. That was pretty hostile. Twoey looked uncomfortable too. I could actually feel the tension coming from Alan. But the asshole did sorta have me by the balls.
“Well, that wasn’t my finest hour ...I’ve gotta admit.”
But the fucker wouldn’t drop it. He even smirked.
“You bet your ass you gotta admit! I can’t imagine a real friend doing that.”
And then I saw what he was up to. Just like David said, he was shedding more of Twoey’s friend from him. So I looked at Twoey.
“Don’t you think I’m your real friend? Should we give the dollars back?”
Twoey gulped, then whispered.
“No Mike. You are my best friend. You’ve always been my best friend.”
So I said, “Well come on, you came here to do some Christmas shopping, let’s do some Christmas shopping. You come with me. Alan and Erik can go with each other. That way in case one or both of you find something for the other, it’ll be a surprise. You can help me find something for Maryellen and Erik can help Alan find something for Jenny.”
We started to get up when Erik stopped us.
“No, I don’t think I want to do that. I want to stay with Twoey. I don’t know what you’re going to try to pump into his head.”
Everybody stopped.
Everything stopped.
Finally, I asked, “Twoey, you came all this way to see me. What do you want to do?”
Suddenly Erik raised his voice.
“It doesn’t matter what he wants to do. We’re outta here!”
He got up, clicking his remote to unlock his doors, and pulled Twoey up from the bench, very roughly. He could have dislocated the poor guy’s shoulder. Twoey looked alarmed and tried to resist, but he started to shove Twoey away from us. That’s all it took. That physical shove is all it took. Alan and I were on that asshole like two flies on shit. He tried to pull away, but Alan is a monster. He just grabbed his arms from behind and clamped him there. I didn’t know what fancy wrestler moves Erik knew but nothing can move Alan. I knew that from experience.
Erik started to yell some shit and told Twoey to get in the car. Twoey started to say something but I swung around and looked at him dead in the eye.
“Stop. Erik is going to leave now. He’s going to get in his car and drive back to Daleville without you. Don’t argue. Sit back down. We’ll get you home. Just sit right there and don’t move.”
Erik started cursing and told Twoey that he had better get in the car if he knew what was good for him. But Twoey sat down.
Alan and I escorted Erik back to his car. Thank God he had unlocked it. He never stopped cursing and threatening until Alan pushed him in and slammed his door. We both stood there, daring him, with our hands on our hips, as he pulled out and squealed away. Then we returned to a frightened Twoey.
“Can’t you see what he’s doing? Where are all your friends in Daleville? Where are they, Twoey?! He’s isolating you. Has he hit you yet?”
Twoey blushed.
Alan yelled, “Jesus Christ!!!
“Twoey, what happened to you? You’ve got me, your best friend. You’ve got that David kid who seems like the best friend anybody could have. You’ve got his gang of really fantastic guys. Why are you letting this creep drive all those friends away? Turn on your fucking phone! Don’t ever turn it off again. I’m straight and even I know you’re a good looking guy! You don’t have to bottom feed!”
I think I might have been a little hard on my friend, but he needed some tough love right then. He started to sob but good ol' Alan was right there to hug him and comfort him. While he was doing that, I called my mom. I told her we had a situation there and Twoey needed a ride back home. She always liked him best anyway ...hehe. She was there in a few minutes. We all piled into the car and I sat in the back with my best friend. I asked Mom to take us home first, so Twoey could compose himself.
When we got there, Alan and I took him to my room as Mom called Ginny. I wanted her to know what had happened, and that we’d be down there in a couple of hours. I wasn’t sure if Erik might not try to go there to poison her mind with lies. We spent about a half-hour trying to calm him down and talk sense to him. Alan was good at this kind of stuff. Better than me, because I always let my emotions get away. He was usually calm and under control.
I think we got through to him. Anyway, we made him wash his face and he settled down a lot before we went back to see Mom. Alan came along with us on the ride to Daleville. Mom said she missed both Twoey and Ginny and wouldn’t mind a visit with her old friend today. My mom’s an angel. I never ask her for much, but when I do, she never fails me.
We got Twoey home and I went up to his room with him while he changed. Meanwhile, Alan explained to everyone downstairs about what happened and what’s been going on. While Ginny and my mom caught up with each other, Alan and I took Twoey for a walk over to see David. I told mom to call me when she was ready to go home.
We got to David’s house, but he wasn’t home. His Aunt said he and a friend had gone shopping in Syracuse.
UN. FUCKING. BELIEVABLE.
So we walked a few houses over to Gary's. Thank goodness he was home. We spent the rest of the afternoon there and when he found out what had happened, Gary was furious. He talked some good sense into Twoey. It was funny when Twoey tried to come out to him.
“Twoey, did you think I didn’t know you were gay? Did you thing the whole gang didn’t know? Did you think it would make any difference to us? Jesus, you’re one of us. You’re part of our gang. We back each other up. We’re there for each other. If you have a problem, you just call and someone will be there. That’s what it means to be part of our gang!”
“Thanks Gary.” Poor Twoey looked like a kid whose teacher just chewed him out. Gary wasn’t done yet.
“Now, I know Erik is going to be at you house tonight or tomorrow morning to put some kind of spin on it. But remember, he was rough with you at the mall and he fucking slapped you last week. There’s no room in love for that kind of abuse. Keep that in mind. I can’t tell you to break up with him when he shows up, but you’re a smart guy. Use your head and not emotions. Make sure he doesn’t get you away from your mother either! Whatever he says, make sure she witnesses it. She’s a damn psychologist! My uncle always tells me to use the best weapons at your disposal, and she’s your best weapon for his spin.”
“OK.”
“And whenever this happens, I want you to call and tell me exactly what happened. Right away. I want to know right away.”
“OK, Gary.”
At that point my mother called to say she was ready to take us home.
Gary looked at Twoey. “Now give me a hug and let these two take you home. You’ve got a couple real friends there. Never forget that.”
Mission Accomplished ...I think.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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