18 Weeks of Twoey - 1. Week One Monday September 1, 2014: Labor Day

The tale you are about to read is true. Completely, Except some of the names were changed to protect the guilty; And the venue was changed to help obscure the identities of those involved; And the time period was shifted forward a few years also; Indeed, some characters were even added to help fill out the cast; Clearly, particular incidents were made-up and some were altered to help the dramatic flow; Certainly any allusions to abnormal intuition or accomplishments are obviously invented. In other words, this is a work of fiction, Completely.

First, there are a couple things to address. On occasion there may be some sex between teenage boys, or worse. The author does not condone or promote any activities these boys get into ...after all they're only 15 years old, or worse. Boys get into all kinds of shit. If you shouldn't read this, live in a very repressive country or Mississippi, or if you don't like this stuff, then stop here.

Actually, anybody should be able to predict the ending of this thing even after the very first chapter ...but it's the journey that I hope is interesting. If you're still with me, this story will take you through every day in the lives of these kids from 9/01/14 to 12/31/14. Exactly as I remember it. Eighteen weeks of the weirdest shit I ever eye-witnessed. I welcome any comments, reviews or PMs.

I do hope you enjoy the story.

- Skinny

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"Shit Gary ...I'm a hurting puppy! We shoulda been doing this all summer."

"I never want to say you're right, but..." He was gasping for breath too as we got to Plum street ...just one more to go. We had resumed our morning run today, before school starts on Wednesday and Cross-Country begins next week.

The end of summer drowned me in regret. Friends had rearranged my priorities. It was just too beautiful a summer ...so I went to the lake almost every day to swim. Hey! I'm 15 ...give me a break! I'll be back in shape soon, I'm sure of that. Baseball is my real passion anyway. Cross-Country just keeps me in shape in the fall.

"Holy Shit! The Turner house is sold." Mr. Turner was transferred to Chicago, so the house’s been for sale for two months, although they only moved a few weeks ago. They had a son and daughter, who were young, like 5 and 8. Gary continued, “Gee, I wonder who bought the house? I wonder if they have kids our age? I wonder if they have a cute daughter?” Did I tell you Gary talks non-stop? Well, he does.

"Jeez ...did you burn through every girl in the freshman class?" Last year Gary had a new gf every other day. I was wondering if he'd settle down a bit more in our upcoming sophomore year ...but I could see that look in his eyes ...hehe. Anyway, we approached the moving van and Gary ran right up to the cab.

He asked the driver: who was moving in? and did they have any kids? and how old were they? and could it please be a girl? (Even I gasped at that string of words!) The van driver chuckled. “Sorry kid, me and Art here just picked up the trailer at the terminal. I’m supposed to meet a Mrs. Messer this morning. That’s all I know except we're making double time for working today. I guess she's in a hurry.”

Gary turned to me. “Well, at least we know their name is Messer. If the van guy’s waiting for them, then we’ll probably find out the rest soon.”

"Hey Gary, I'm gonna go home to shower and I'll see you at your house later." I chuckled. “Maybe the Messers will be moved in this afternoon and you can have that new girl all broken in by the time we get back to school.” That got me a friendly punch in the shoulder. “Later dude!”

Both our families always get together for a Labor Day picnic. We only live 3 doors apart on Cherry St. Today it was going to be in the Galli’s back yard. My brother Tommy, Gary and I will probably spend the afternoon in the pool and our parents will solve the problems of the world or the NFL or whatever crap they like to talk about. My sister Liz always goes over to the Heven house cuz Suzie is her best friend and is also the sister of Nels who is one of our gang. Unfortunately, he has to stay there today, because they have other relatives coming who have kids - you know how that shit goes.

So after a few hours, the grill was fired up and we were all together but not in the pool yet. We were eating hot dogs and other crap first. Well they were eating crap. I don't eat crap. While we were eating is when my mother and his mother started talking about their high school boyfriends and that’s when I started to get uncomfortable, because they always end that frickin' conversation asking me when I’m gonna get a girlfriend! Talk about major awkward!

This is all worse because Gary was like The Romeo of 9^th grade. As I already explained, he must’ve dated every freshman girl in the whole damn school. And even my little brother Tommy had a few girlfriends in 7^th grade. My sister Liz has been dating the same guy since she was like 8. So what’s wrong with me? Nothing! I just haven’t been hit with the urge yet. I don’t know why. I like girls. Lots of them seem to like me for some strange reason--I’m mousy looking--but I just don’t get all hormoned-up like Gary. Maybe this year’s gonna be different. I mean I’m starting to worry too, but my mother keeps looking at me like I’m some kind of frickin' freak whenever the talk of girlfriends comes up. And it’s coming up TOO DAMNED MUCH!

By the way, our moms are old-fashioned “housewives” so they’re always home and gossiping about us kids. Our dads work in the same little manufacturing plant. They’re engineers or something. I don’t really keep track; it’s got nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t bug me, I don’t care if they manufacture Soylent Green! ...Yeah, I read books. Sorry.

I’m glad the Dads don’t seem to be concerned about me. They’re more upset with Syracuse football, since they both went to college there.

We live in Daleville, a little town in Central New York State on a Finger Lake; actually, not far from Syracuse. It's so small that you can walk everywhere. That’s great when you’re 15 and can’t drive yet. The lake isn’t far from our neighborhood. We live on Cherry and the rest of the gang lives one street over on Peach. BTW Plum is one street over the other way. We walked down to the lake nearly every day in the summer to swim. There’s also a falls nearby we can hike to. The rest of the area beyond Daleville is just farms, some lake cottages and lots of grapes. Wineries everywhere, which means NOTHING to me. I don’t like wine. Yuck!

Well, I just turned my back on the moms and jumped in the pool. I was SO not in the mood for their snide comments today! Hell, it's a holiday. Can't they give it a rest? Soon Gary and Tommy were with me and we horsed around the rest of the afternoon, only getting out for drinks and shit. So that was Labor Day for David: about as plain and boring as I am.

Nothing ever happens to me.