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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
18 Weeks of Twoey - 98. Week Fourteen Sunday, December 7, 2014: Shimmering Reflections
in the glittery glare of the ice coated tree
did my soul now despair
for the ken of my love, be it she be it he
was now mine to declare
- David
***
I couldn’t find any time to meditate! I knew I needed to get back to Danny and see how Randy figures into all of this. But this morning, right after Tommy showered me, I barely had gotten dried off and into my boxers when Alex walked in. Tommy was still in his Speedo, so it was cute seeing him turn crimson and scoot off to his room.
“You realize he’ll be in therapy for the next ten years, right?”
That made Alex laugh pretty hard.
“Not that I’m complaining, but why are you here so early?”
“Ricky needed to leave early for college because of the storm.”
“What storm?”
“Haven’t you looked outside yet?”
“No, I just got up.”
We went to my window and raised the blinds. It was like a fairyland twinkling before us. There must have been an ice storm last night and the rising sun shone through the trees outside my room making them appear to be encased in jewels!
It was so peaceful and pleasant standing there, her arm around my waist. A small pressure-like pain fleetingly went through my head at the exact moment I had a rogue thought about this same scene, but with Twoey holding me from behind. My mind even asked the question of whom I would prefer to share the beauty before me. I internally sighed and pushed that thought right out of my naughty mind. I knew I dared not feed it the fuel to tear me apart inside any more than it already was.
Minerva, please grant Randy the wisdom to help me!
My evil mind allowed me to return to the present.
“Wow, that’s so beautiful! But it means I won’t be able to go out for a walk today.”
“Sure you will, it’s almost at freezing already and the forecast is for it to warm up. Everything will be melted in another hour.”
“So, why did Ricky – that’s your brother, right? – leave early?”
“He had to drive south into Pennsylvania and there are lots of hills. Things might not get melted there, so he’ll probably have to take it easy.”
We sat on the bed and held hands while talking about Ricky, school next week and other things. That’s when I said, “I had an interesting conversation with Randy yesterday.”
“Really? What did you talk about?”
“You.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, he told me all sorts of interesting stories about growing up with you as a friend.”
She leveled a steely look at me as I tried everything in my power to prevent a smile from forming.
“The book I’m reading has mentioned the necessity to embrace darkness along with light and evil along with goodness, because they are parts of God’s creation.”
Now she really narrowed her eyes at me.
“So you would have done harm to an innocent puppy dog?” I couldn’t hold it any longer and completely broke out laughing and then she did too, jumping on my right side and pretending to pound me.
“I can’t believe you were a 6 year old extortionist!”
“Just think how much more capable I can be at 15!” Then she attacked me again, and we were both laughing really hard as a now-dressed Tommy stuck his head in the door and told us breakfast was ready.
All throughout breakfast I was worried Alex would want sex when the family was at church, and I absolutely knew I was not ready yet. It wasn’t going to happen. When they did leave, she suggested we take a walk. I realized my scary smart girlfriend could read my mind. So I rewarded her with a hug, which slipped into our most passionate kiss to date. When we broke it, I was short of breath but just gasped.
“We should leave now before we do something I’m not quite ready for.” I simply had to tell her.
This time we walked in the opposite direction, around Twoey’s block. The sidewalks were wet and everything was dripping. The little fairyland had been claimed by the warming winter sun. When we got near his house, there was Erik’s Mustang in the driveway. I said, “Well, the ice didn’t keep him away. I’ll bet he’s sampling Ginny’s breakfast cooking.”
Alex looked at me. “Let’s stop in.”
And so we went up and knocked on the door. As soon as Twoey answered, a big smile spread over his face. He invited us in and into the kitchen. I crutched my way over to kiss Ginny and introduce her to Alex, because I couldn’t remember if they had met at the hospital. She invited us to join them for breakfast. I could see Erik tense up. He actually balled his fists which were near his lap. I think I was the only one who noticed that happen.
“Oh, no. We just ate, but we’ll sit here for a couple of minutes. Alex is helping with my exercise by walking me around the block. I’m not supposed to walk alone.”
Twoey broke in.
“Hey, David, if you ever need a walker, just ask me. I’d be happy to walk with you.”
Now Erik was really getting rigid. Asshole!
“Hehe ...nah, thank God the casts come off tomorrow. They’re going to give me some kind of boot and I’ll be able to manage with one crutch or maybe even none. But I’ll be able to walk alone anyway, that is, if I can find something to distract her.” As I said that, I pointed to Alex and she bopped me on the head.
We decided to only stay about ten minutes and then much to the relief of Alex, me and Erik, we left. As soon as we got outside Alex hissed.
“Did you see that Erik? What’s his problem? Doesn’t he want Twoey to see any of his friends?”
I looked at her, suddenly seeing the pattern, and smiled. Scary smart!
“Unfortunately, I think that’s exactly what he wants. Twoey doesn’t walk to school with the gang anymore and doesn’t even eat lunch with them. Erik has him off campus eating lunch. He’s isolating him.”
She stared at me with her mouth open. Then she put a determined look on her face.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?”
“Sam says I can’t do anything. So I’ll try to see him as much as Erik will allow, just to show Twoey he still has a friend.”
“To think, I used to be so jealous of him, and now I feel so sorry for him! David, simply watching this happen to your friend is not enough!”
“Hey ...I’m not going to do nothing! When I get a little more mobile, you and I are going to take a bus ride to Syracuse. There’s a guy there who just might be able to help. We need to do some Christmas shopping anyway.”
“OK, David. You better believe I’m going to hold you to that. You can not abandon your friend!”
The rest of the day went as usual. Alex and I worked on Adv. Prep together and then our other homework separately, since she had brought hers along. Dad and Tommy watched football. Alex stayed for supper and we all sat around and chatted until the adults’ TV shows came on. At that point, Alex’s ride arrived and Tommy and I disappeared upstairs to his room, where we played a rare video game together. Naturally, he demolished me. You simply can’t race cars with one hand in a cast! But I wasn’t going to pass up any bonding with Tommy, when I got the chance. Of course, all this meant no time to read Demian or meditate. Tomorrow is my appointment to get rid of these casts and Tuesday I’ll be in school. I knew I’d have to try fitting in some time for meditation tomorrow, if at all possible.
Danny must be getting real impatient!
Randy
I spent the morning in our breakfast nook because one side is all glassed in and has a sliding door which leads out onto the stone patio my parents are so proud of. But today I was here for the spectacular view of all the shimmering ice and also for some serious thinking.
I’ve got admit, I was totally confused. I think I mentioned before how certain I was that David was gay. At first, I wasn’t sure, but after I saw him with Twoey, there was no question at all in my mind. I was a little concerned because I could see Alex falling for him. I figured he’d either tell her or, if he wasn’t prepared to be ‘out,’ at least he’d figure a way to brush her off. When that wasn’t happening, I was worried she was going to be hurt really bad. You have no idea how close I came to outing the dude to Alex, just so she could get over him. I knew his secret wouldn’t go any further than her because she’s smart and, of course, she has a gay brother.
Just before I took that misguided step, they were suddenly boyfriend/girlfriend! That’s when I was rocked back on my heels. I couldn’t believe I had been so wrong. So my new conjecture was, he would be one of those dudes who went through life with a wife and kids and remained in denial. That is, until some scandal broke up everything, including their marriage. I’m smart enough to realize nothing I could say to Alex would stop it from happening, if she were, in fact, that poor wife-to-be. It’s just one of those things. You read about it all the time.
That was until yesterday. During our little walk, after I accidently outed myself to David, he subtly changed his demeanor. Now he wants to talk to me about personal issues. I could clearly sense how serious he was. And now I know. I know David is on the verge of being not-in-denial anymore.
This, of course, presented me with two huge problems, and they were what I was thinking about this morning. The first was, how can I help him? His earlier life has been so different from mine. While I’m not openly ‘out’ in this hick town, most of the gay guys know each other. We’re out to each other. I’ve hooked up and had sex. Not as much as Cory, who I wish would settle down a little. I think Cory and I would make a good couple, but he can’t seem to stay away from Matty’s little club. I’ve tried to hook up with a few others. Buddy from Dennis Center was my latest, but I keep being drawn back to Cory, and he seems to be drawn back to me, except I guess he’s got a scratch I can’t itch. And no, I do not want to get involved with Matty. I’m mostly a bottom anyway and that wouldn’t work. So my question was, how could I help David? I couldn’t even begin to understand how his mind works about his orientation. I mean, for me, there it was; I was gay. There wasn’t any denying it. So how does a brain block what should be so obvious? I like David a lot and I don’t want to be responsible for fucking him up.
The second problem was Alex. There was now zero doubt in my mind that David is gay. Alex is my best friend. I’m sure you can see my difficulty. While I conduct that personal little talk, exploring David’s gayness with him, there would sit Alex, thinking she had a future with him. And what will happen when she discovers that I knew and didn’t tell her? Let me just clarify something. You do not ever want to be on the dark side of Alex! So do I tell her and betray David or do I go along with David and betray Alex?
This was not an enviable spot to be in. That was what framed my thinking, while drinking in the beauty of the glistening view this morning. Did I come to a conclusion?
Yes.
I’ll remain ignorant until David and I have that personal discussion. Then I’ll give him an ultimatum. Tell her or I will. It’s really the only fair thing to do for both of them. She’s got to know and he’s got to tell her. The sooner the better, although I had the suspicion it was already too late to protect Alex from a world of hurt.
Twoey
Mom and I were transfixed early this morning with the view out the living room bay window. The sun, filtered through the ice on our front trees, formed a wonderland of sparkle. Mom came up behind me and gently enveloped my shoulders. I had a surprising, but pleasant, thought of David holding me as we looked at that same scene. I knew it was the kind of thing he would appreciate. While we were watching, a black Mustang appeared, carefully picking its way down the icy street to our house.
After I let Erik in, I brought him to the widow to share the scene with me.
“Look, isn’t it magnificent?”
“Are you crazy? I almost got killed trying to get here in that ice. I don’t even want to look at it.”
While that disappointed me, I could see his point. Although I couldn’t understand why he didn’t simply wait an hour for things to melt before he came. We went into the kitchen and talked with Mom as she began the preparation of a nice Sunday breakfast for us. It was probably an hour or so later, when we were beginning to dig in, that there was a knock on the door. I was pleasantly surprised to see David and Alex. Wow! How weird, I was just thinking of him.
David introduced Alex to Mom and we invited them to stay for breakfast, but they had already eaten and only stayed about 10 minutes. Gosh, it was really great seeing him. I really do miss my angel. After they left, Erik and I went to my room for a little making out before I changed. Then we spent the entire day with Mom watching football on TV. She needed a few things for supper, so Eric and I volunteered to shoot to the supermarket and pick them up. It was nice being really alone with him for 20 minutes or so.
When we returned, my boyfriend stayed for dinner, of course. Then we watched some shows with Mom, but he always kept me in his arms. He left late, before I went to bed. Naturally, he made his goodnight call. Reminding me to turn off my phone, he blew me a kiss. I almost disobeyed him to call David, just because it was so good seeing him, just to wish him goodnight. But I decided not to. Starting that all up again could lead to hard feelings down the line. I want this relationship with Erik to be long and smooth.
I really needed some stability in my life right now.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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