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    Mikiesboy
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

tim's Bits and Pieces - 11. Tethers

what holds me here, and other miserable musings

1.

Makes me sad you’ve gone away

You no longer catch me when i fall

Wish you’d just come out and say

Truth i can deal with

Silence leaves me to my own thoughts

Which are rarely filled with truth

 

2.

Death i want to embrace you, feel your cool breath on my face

Will you tell me there is nothing to fear?

Or will I suffer for the things that i’ve done

Sin upon sin sit in my soul; i fear my final judgement

But there is no choice but to pay the cost

There will be no rest until reparations are made

Only then will you cut the tether to my worldly anchor

 

3.

To her:

It shouldn’t matter why you hate me

But it does

I will never ask why, only wonder

What i did

You are superior in your mind

That won’t change

I can only wonder what and why

 

4.

I grow more insular each day

Choosing to keep away from here

Maybe it’s time i got up to go

Time to move on, to walk away

 

Maybe there'd be memories left

But it doesn’t really matter

No one cares to remember for long

That is just the stuff—the facts—of life

 

Things have been so hard lately

I’m tired and i just want to go

I understand why people give up

It is easier to just say no

 

But it is the thought of being nothing

Will i know the emptiness of the void?

That keeps me here in this life i hate

It’s fear of the unknown that holds me

 

 

                          _____

thank you for reading and i'm sorry but i write where i am. lately it's not been a pretty or happy place
Copyright © 2018 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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On 7/24/2018 at 12:03 AM, JeffreyL said:

Writing where you are can put some perspective to your feelings. And maybe help sort things out. Both are good things. Your poems are well written and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing them. I am hoping you are going to find a better place soon. Hugs to you my friend.

thank you very much Jeffrey.  i appreciate your thoughts on them very much xo

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All poems are terrifyingly intense. But except for number 3 (which seems to address a very unpleasant and aloof woman you encountered), they speak of the fears that lie hidden in every human being and come to the surface in various forms; some poeple try to bury and ignore them, others reflect on them from time to time, but they are there for sure. Only they erupt and feel so all-encompassing in these poems; it's frightening to read your words but it would be wrong not to read them (or for you not to write them down) out of fear.

"No one cares to remember for long" you write, and it would be a lie to say that's never true - but it's also true that in our thoughts we (even involuntarily) recognize what's precious to us and yes, many people care to remember for as long as they live because that's also what life is about.

I hope you can let yourself be embraced by some equanimity and lean on your husband.

And I have to admit I find it hard to communicate here - now that I'm reading what I've written I'm not sure if it's adequate but anyway, your poems are always stirring up my thoughts.

Edited by Zenobia
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3 hours ago, Zenobia said:

equanimity and lean on your husband.

And I have to admit I find it hard to communicate here - now that I'm reading what I've written I'm not sure if it's adequate but anyway, your poems are always stirring up my thoughts.

My life feels so long...too long. I am tired...there is no joy or hope in it. Only talk and drugs...i look but i cant see it.

 

xo

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I suppose I have a vague idea what you're saying although I don't want to be so shallow as to just write that I understand what you're going through.

It's hard to carry some memories with you, that much I know, and one can't just bury them but one has to live with them - and it does get better with time. But then, there are still feelings that cannot be controlled (at least not all the time) and it requires much strength to live with them.

I'm so sorry to read that obviously the drugs you have to take contribute to this.

I've always found it horrible to feel alone and I can only tell you that you're absolutely not alone (I know it won't help much but nevertheless).

And whatever you feel, you are still loved.

Feel deeply hugged xoxo

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