300 Letters - 19. Letter 18 (He Ain't Gettin' My Jumper)

23.10.2015

Dear C,

This is just a short letter today. I wasn’t planning on writing to you until Sunday, but I just had that strong need of telling you how much I love you. And I know that words cannot express how I really feel. Nothing can. And I know you don’t care.

Anyway, there is a guy here on my landing, who is attacking me verbally to give him my jumper – the one I got in the parcel from my mother. He is a big, black man and maybe he thinks that I am scared of him. I am so not. I am not scared of anybody anymore.

Before I let people abuse me, because I thought I had to survive all this for you. Now, I don’t care.

So I told him, that it would never happen, then he asked me how much I wanted for it? Like what? He got cash on him? And even if so, I can’t spend it here.

I got a letter from a guy called Andrew – he works in a prison system and he is my “offender supervisor” – whatever that means. I am supposed to see him on Monday.

Baby, it’s almost midnight now and I’m going to sleep.

I think I have lost some weight you know. My polo shirt that I used to wear at home started to look like a dress on me now. I think I am going to set myself a goal to lose a lot of weight here.

Time will tell.

I love you.

Forever Yours

Sebastian