300 Letters - 70. Letter 69 (Big Jamaican Guy)

Letter 69

22 March 2016

Dear C,

Tonight for the very first time since I've been here I saw the sky full of stars. It was amazing! I had to press my head really hard against my tiny window, but I saw it. I took a picture of it in my head.

Gym was hectic today. We had various exercises and we had to repeat them with shorter breaks in between. Tony, one of the guys there is really funny. He has been in prison for some time, but is looking to his parole soon. They brought a new guy here too. He participates in our exercises, but he is not here to lose weight. I think he is exercising to fight his addiction to drugs. He is a huge guy from Jamaica. I think I have seen him a few times in my music production classes. I sometimes forget that the so called "Weight loss" program is also designed for people with other issues - drugs, anger etc.

This new guy looks like a proper gangster though and I am sure I will not be making friends with him.

Whilst in the gym, they played "A thousand years" song on the radio. I froze. It brought all the memories. I was so angry. Why do they have to do this to me? I want to heal already! I hate that song now. The only good thing about it was that it gave me that weird energy to push myself even harder during the last set of exercises.

I keep painting in my cell. Luckily I took lots of watercolour paper from my art classes (more than I should have), so I have some spare to be creative. My art is good for nothing, but it kills time. I told you many times before that when I mix colours I am being transported into a different universe. I can't even describe it. All I know is that I feel safe there.

My latest painting is the head of an elephant. I mixed as many colours as I could. It was crazy. My whole wall was covered with rainbow dots. Good these walls are washable. Today was also the first day I was able to walk outside without my jacket. Spring sign? Let's hope. But it also means that there will be more jogging outside involved. And I am sure that DJ will not let me get away with this.

The guy at the end of the corridor is banging his music so loud now. His name is Olley (I think this is how you spell it). He looks very aggressive, but I did speak to him a few times and surprisingly he is a very intelligent person. You can tell we will never be friends, but I like people like him. Minding his own business. Just this loud music! All I am getting here in my cell is this disturbing base vibrations without even hearing the actual music. And he loves hip-hop. Especially Tupac - that I can hear.

Anyway, I will wrap up here for now.

I shall continue staring at the night starry sky, before the clouds ruin the view.

Hope you are just fine.

Forever yours,

Sebastian