tim's Bits and Pieces - 9. Light

2 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

Angel? LOL !! Hardly!

Your halo is held up by devil horns. lol

11 minutes ago, BHopper2 said:

Your halo is held up by devil horns. lol

Lol, that works!

8 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

tim, my boy, you are so hard on yourself. you are no monster. Do stop and read the comments on your work. See what others say, be kinder to yourself.  This is a wonderful poem I'm surprised to see it rhyming. ..but it works. xo

yes Sir.  i'll try .. am trying.   yeah the rhyming wasn't a conscious choice, but once i'd realized i just decided to go for it. Thank You for reading it. xo

Great poem, tim. 

Im happy to hear your new therapy is working and you’re feeling hopeful. 

Hugs. 

You know what is inside you. But it is inside, not on the outside. You say evil is free to churn and twist  - motions that get it nowhere, evil in a confined space, too confined to move and act freely. It sounds rather angry and desperate to me, desperate to break free, but somehow it never gets to the surface, only inside you, not touching the outside, as if the offensive words and feelings stay inside, unuttered. poisoning you, yourself. Not others. Not him. Not those who love you. 

The vowels you use sound like a sequence of rage - dark - then too bright - like churning and twisting, like hideous broth, like heinous cloth turning on themselves,

but then the light comes in and the words become simple, quiet, soft and full of light indeed

the last stanza is even more beautiful after the first two...

a calm lake in the sunlight after a deep gorge full of rapids and whorls and vertigo after the boat has shot free

It took me more than a day to write this. Couldn't, wouldn't react before I had anything to say...

4 hours ago, Defiance19 said:

Great poem, tim. 

Im happy to hear your new therapy is working and you’re feeling hopeful. 

Hugs. 

thanks boss .. i'm feeling pretty good xoxo

2 hours ago, mayday said:

You know what is inside you. But it is inside, not on the outside. You say evil is free to churn and twist  - motions that get it nowhere, evil in a confined space, too confined to move and act freely. It sounds rather angry and desperate to me, desperate to break free, but somehow it never gets to the surface, only inside you, not touching the outside, as if the offensive words and feelings stay inside, unuttered. poisoning you, yourself. Not others. Not him. Not those who love you. 

The vowels you use sound like a sequence of rage - dark - then too bright - like churning and twisting, like hideous broth, like heinous cloth turning on themselves,

but then the light comes in and the words become simple, quiet, soft and full of light indeed

the last stanza is even more beautiful after the first two...

a calm lake in the sunlight after a deep gorge full of rapids and whorls and vertigo after the boat has shot free

 

It took me more than a day to write this. Couldn't, wouldn't react before I had anything to say...

it is inside that dark place. but some of it leaks out as envy which isn't pretty.  yeah, your comments are excellent.. hideous and heinous, in my head like a dark mass of cloth or snakes.  

i really appreciate your comments, and more, the effort you made to write them.  thank you xooxo