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- 01/22/2020
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Into the fields of Summer - 28. Broken Soul 3
Chris’ POV
Early evening, Dad was able to help me stand. My legs were a little bit shakey but I was able to walk around the room later on, the aches around my body were subsiding as well, I think my body’s on its way to repairing itself, I can only hope my mind and heart follow. Within an hour or two I actually felt like my legs were regaining most of its prior strength, guess I can still play soccer later on, if I ever feel like it.
Dad was able to convince Victor and Leo to go home late afternoon. They too needed rest. Not that I craved for their company at that point anyway, coz to be honest, I just wanted to ball up and be left alone.
Dad later informed me that only the police, Victor and his household and Leo’s family were aware of what happened to me. I dismissed the idea of sharing whatever happened to me to anybody else. I thought that whatever happened to me is only my business, certainly didn’t need to make a tabloid headline out of my ordeal.
After dinner two police officers who introduced themselves as Officer Quinn and Peters came in my room. They asked me for a statement. I answered their questions as best as I can. I pointed out to them that though there were 3 main attackers, that there was a fourth one, the drug dealer of the main suspects. I told them how the three guys sold me off for a discount for their daily high. At the moment dad’s facial expression was full of hate, his fists balled up as if he about to punch the hell out of someone. He wanted all of those guys dead.
“What will happen to the perpetrators?” dad asked the police officers.
“The three are already in custody, there will be no public trial as they were pretty much caught in the act, we’ll just wait for the sentencing in a few week’s time. They’ve been charged of rape, physical abuse, kidnapping, they’ll be in jail for a very long time.” Officer Peters said.
“As for the other suspect, we’ll look into you physical description of the man, we’ll scour for any video tape evidence of his presence in the area” Officer Quinn added.
The following day, Dr. Page gave me the all clear to go home in the afternoon. Much to the delight of Dad and Victor. Leo was at school then. Dad forced Leo to go to school, no point for him missing class now that I’m back.
I didn’t need any wheelchair assistance to get into the car when I was released early in the afternoon. I still had bruises on my neck and marks on my wrists and feet but the doctor gave me some ointment and painkillers, they should clear out in a week.
Arriving home, the place felt familiar yet different at the same time, I couldn’t figure out what I felt about it the moment I entered the living room. It was as if nothing ever happened. A few days ago I was being repeatedly raped and now I’m back home. The couch was still there, pictures of me and dad and my mom when I was still a child still in the small table near the living room. The smell of the house was even the same. Everything in the house seemed to stay put, nothing out of place, seemed like life moved on without me, life moved on not needing me.
The warm shower was more than welcomed by my body. My sore muscles relaxed as I tried to wash not only the hospital smell from my body but the dirt, shame, and disgust I felt as well. I applied shampoo and shower gel all over myself three times at least, as if it made me feel any less dirtier and used. But at least I hid the smell of disgust, no one needed to know, I’ll keep that to myself, only I will know and remember everything.
Victor was waiting for me in my room after I’ve taken my shower. He was seated on my bed. He watched me closely as I dried myself off and as I changed into my house clothes of a white shirt and shorts.
I slowly laid myself into the bed as I positioned myself in a fetal position, hugging one of my pillows tightly. Victor snuck behind me, hugging me tightly as well.
“Talk to me, talk to us... please, don’t shut us out” he said. His voice cracking as if holding back his own tears.
“I don’t know Victor, I don’t know what or how to feel, they’ve taken so much from me, I don’t know where and how to start fixing myself” I replied as I held back tears. My voice betraying me. “Before this... everything was just so right, so perfect actually, I had a caring father, a good best friend, and a loving boyfriend, now...” I sniffled “now... I don’t know, it’s as if my world came crashing around me in an instant, just because of a stupid trip to the mall, just because I wasn’t strong enough to fight, just because I’m pathetic..., maybe I don’t deserve happiness after all”
“Don’t say that Chris... the only thing you deserve in this world, is happiness and love, those guys... those guys that did this to you, they’ll pay for it, pay for it dearly, ...”
Victor hugged me tighter, both our tears now soaking each other.
“We’re here for you. We’ll always be here for you. Chris... we all love you so much” he said in between sniffles.
“I know... I know... it’s just that... I feel empty... I don’t know why... but I just do” I replied. My tears were streaming by this point.
“Promise me though, please promise me you won’t hurt yourself or blame yourself, Chris, the thought of losing you, of losing us, it’s just so... it’s unbearable, I love you Chris, please, I hope you’ll forgive me, this is my fault, I should have known better, I should have been there okay?, this is not your fault, this is mine, I’m the vampire here, I’m the fucking Governor for Christ’s sake, and I’ve let you down, the only person that matters to me, I’m so so sorry, I’ve disappointed you, no, I’ve hurt you” Victor sobbed into my neck.
”Victor... hush... come on, I know you love me, you’ve made that pretty clear, it’s really just so overwhelming for me you know? One day I have this seemingly perfect life and now, what? What do I have?” I said sniffling.
”You have us” Victor assured me.
Dad knocked on my door a few minutes later and checked on us.
“Dinner in 20 minutes” he said. He looked like he wanted to say more and come near me but he gave me and Victor our time.
Leo joined us for dinner, it was more quiet than usual, eerily quiet, but no one expected it to be otherwise, what we had was a quiet dinner for what usually four guys would have. Gone were our banters and sudden outbursts of laughter. Leo and Dad tried to distract me and hit me with a few jokes every now and then, just the right amount, and very shallow actually, most were dad jokes, I indulged them both with a small smile and a forced giggle every now and then, but Victor saw right through it, he knew I was I no shape or form capable of being happy at that point. I mean how could I really be happy? I feel empty. All I feel is this darkness surrounding me, I’m more than tempted to actually indulge this emptiness, but I’m trying to hold out, there has to be some spark, some hope somewhere right? I know the people around me love me, but knowing and feeling are entirely different things, I just can’t feel anything at this point.
Leo stayed for a few more minutes, spending time with Victor and I. We watched tv for several minutes but I was totally out of it. I was spacing o. every now and then, and I knew both Victor and Leo noticed. They’d exchange glances every now and then but I really didn’t care, I was confused, no, more than that actually, I had trouble, trouble understanding what I was actually feeling, if you can even call it as ‘feeling’ anyway. Every second I breathe I feel like crying but my eyes won’t give.
Victor spent the night with me. Dad gave me a good night kiss before sleeping, something he hasn’t done in years.
Victor snuggled behind me and hugged me as we went to bed.
His warmth and his smell made me feel safe at that point. Something I thought I’ve forgotten the feeling of. Something I thought I’d never enjoy again.
My dream that night was of the tower again. I was back in the ground floor atrium where all the other empty reading tables surrounded me. A large black book in front of me. The atrium was darker the usual, the air felt colder.
The black book had a different symbol in front of it, inscribed in Gold etchings was a symbol of a horned creature. The book was thick, it’s pages worn out, the inscriptions were all still visible though. I skimmed through the book and after “reading” it, I felt more calm, in a different way, calm as if I’ve resigned myself to what I have to do. I felt empty, I felt numb, if this emptiness does not go away anytime soon, then maybe, I must go away as well, go away and leave everything behind... to just disappear, from this world. It’s not as if I deserved better.
Emptiness... no, Darkness was calling out to me, and I might just answer it’s call.
This book was different from the rest, it’s warmth, it’s energy, the air around it heavy and dense, making my skin tingle as I flip its pages, I may not understand what I’m glossing over but somehow I feel it’s important, but something feels off, this one, this book, it feels forbidden. It’s like I’m doing something wrong by even just touching it, ignored those feelings, it’s just different I thought, this book somehow calls out to me, it feels me, it feels my anger, it feels my pain, it understands me.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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