Headstall's Reflections - 9. Chapter 9 Hidden Echoes

Headstall's Reflections

Chapter 9 Hidden Echoes

Unbidden, why do my tears strike from nowhere?

Blurring my vision, and iron resolve

Turning resilience tenuous, uncertain

Memories intrude and faces flicker by

Stinging softly, insidiously… regretfully?

Why do I care about the past, said and done?

Life is good… is it not?

I have so much… to ask more would be greedy

Yet, still I yearn… for what? Absolution? For me… or others?

What is it I want… why stirs my pain?

Am I even in control… have I ever truly been?

Scalding drops brings release, yes, but no relief

For I cannot grasp their reason even though I search

Answers elude and the need for questions frustrate

Do I not know myself? Does my past rule me? Own me?

Inside is a repeating, raging cry no one hears

Because I choose to keep it to myself

Hidden echoes hint at something I cannot grasp

I must stay on my safer path, determined

It’s what I have to do… breaking apart is no option

Push my insistent queries aside and pray they relent

Too many count on me to be strong and sure

And therein lies my strength, my worth, my escape

These are only quick tears after all, shed in secret

They, at least, leave no bruises to be seen

A brush of my sleeve and they’re gone

And only I know they were ever there