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    Headstall
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Headstall's Reflections - 22. Chapter 22 Limbo

Something I need to express... or expunge... I don't know...

Headstall’s Reflections

 

 

Chapter 22 Limbo

 

 

Please, oh please, I’m asking you to leave

My heartache is badly in need of reprieve

I can’t handle the sorrow, and I can’t bear the pain

Or eyes that cry out through recurring sheets of rain

 

I beg you to depart, yet you’re not even here

Impossible to let go of the one I hold dear

So ironic I’m the culprit who drew the hard line

I was lying to myself when I said I’d be fine

 

The nights are the worst, when my sad world falls quiet

It starts with one memory and soon becomes a riot

It matters not that I know all about the grieving

I still hold on tight to what I demand to be leaving

 

Forgive me my lapses, and my emotional regret

I’m trying to face how I’m just not there yet

I’m stuck in this limbo that's of my own making

While the heart of my hearts is there for the taking

 

I say I’m a strong man, but really I’m not

Despite the time passing, I still miss you a lot

And sticking to my guns is a phrase I repeat

To prevent me from laying myself at your feet

 

It would only prolong this torture we live

Stifling our hearts from what they’re both meant to give

I’ll find my way, and you will find yours

But to have our best chance, we must close some doors

 

I’m not ready though, to give up your voice

But if things don’t get better, I may have no choice

I still want the balance we’re striving to seek

Maybe it’s time to accept I’m too weak

Thanks for reading.

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Gary,
I know you may be the only one that will get this, but I was in tears reading that. I swear sometimes you feel my pain too. That was awful and beautiful at the same time.

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This speaks of the difficulty and pain that oft accompanies doing what we think the best recourse.

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Aw geez, Gary. I have my own ideas about this and who. I just hope you have people there you can talk to about it. I hope you've made the right choice for you. Hugs my friend. tim xoxo

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Beautifully written, even as it describes to much pain and heartache. Sometimes the hardest stage is that state of limbo, where no one wants to let go, no matter how much your head tries to tell you otherwise. :hug:

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I know the pain. I know the desperate feeling of not to let go. I can feel that through the poem. I know you are hurting now, but as you said before 'Time will heal'. *Hugs* Gary... :)

 

~Emi.

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On 08/27/2016 04:03 AM, pzetts3 said:

Gary,

I know you may be the only one that will get this, but I was in tears reading that. I swear sometimes you feel my pain too. That was awful and beautiful at the same time.

Thank you, Pam. I do get it, and I know you do too :heart: ...much love... Gary...

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On 08/27/2016 04:43 AM, dughlas said:

This speaks of the difficulty and pain that oft accompanies doing what we think the best recourse.

We can never be certain what's right, dugh... we just forge ahead and hope we haven't made a big mistake... thanks for your support, my friend...

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On 08/27/2016 06:13 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Aw geez, Gary. I have my own ideas about this and who. I just hope you have people there you can talk to about it. I hope you've made the right choice for you. Hugs my friend. tim xoxo

So do I, tim... so do I... I feel so alone even though I'm not :heart:

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On 08/27/2016 06:43 AM, LitLover said:

Beautifully written, even as it describes to much pain and heartache. Sometimes the hardest stage is that state of limbo, where no one wants to let go, no matter how much your head tries to tell you otherwise. :hug:

:heart:

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On 08/27/2016 07:26 PM, Emi GS said:

I know the pain. I know the desperate feeling of not to let go. I can feel that through the poem. I know you are hurting now, but as you said before 'Time will heal'. *Hugs* Gary... :)

 

~Emi.

:heart:

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Oh Gary, you have such a gift for expressing the most painful emotions. This one is perhaps the most difficult one, since it falls between the love/hate spectrum. That seemingly endless stage where you teeter on the brink of one or the other, and it changes from second to second, not heeding what logic says you should do.
I've been there more than once, and no matter the circumstances which brought it about, it feels like you are stuck in that one spot, your life suspended until some external force nudges you on to a much needed distraction.
My last relationship with Kevin had a few rocky moments, and we always managed to get things settled,and that gave me the faculty to hope for the best as it's never too late to try again--until that final time we were together and external forces made him take his last fatal goodbye from me, and his life. What I wouldn't give for that Limbo where he could find his way back....
Another soul-wrenching Truth today, my dear friend.
xoxoxoxo

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On 08/28/2016 08:03 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

Oh Gary, you have such a gift for expressing the most painful emotions. This one is perhaps the most difficult one, since it falls between the love/hate spectrum. That seemingly endless stage where you teeter on the brink of one or the other, and it changes from second to second, not heeding what logic says you should do.

I've been there more than once, and no matter the circumstances which brought it about, it feels like you are stuck in that one spot, your life suspended until some external force nudges you on to a much needed distraction.

My last relationship with Kevin had a few rocky moments, and we always managed to get things settled,and that gave me the faculty to hope for the best as it's never too late to try again--until that final time we were together and external forces made him take his last fatal goodbye from me, and his life. What I wouldn't give for that Limbo where he could find his way back....

Another soul-wrenching Truth today, my dear friend.

xoxoxoxo

Thank you, my friend, but there is no hate here... only pain. I wish Kevin could find his way back to you too. Limbo sucks, but I will cope... :heart:

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On 09/01/2016 09:48 PM, Arazon said:

This was so heartfelt it brought a tear to my eye. Sending you a hug

Thank you, Arazon... :heart:

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On 09/23/2016 11:12 AM, Reader1810 said:

I hope that regardless of its name, it worked. :hug:

This one was tough, my friend... very tough... thanks for reading and reviewing... cheers... Gary....

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How hard it must have been to part ways, to accept the sorrow and hurt. I cannot know your choices or your hurt, but I can offer you hugs and the solace that your well crafted words ring out your cries to all who can hear.

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On 10/15/2016 08:25 AM, Parker Owens said:

How hard it must have been to part ways, to accept the sorrow and hurt. I cannot know your choices or your hurt, but I can offer you hugs and the solace that your well crafted words ring out your cries to all who can hear.

Thank you, Parker. Poetry, and my friends' support has helped me through a process that has been going on since March. It's been exhausting... :heart:

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