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    Headstall
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Headstall's Reflections - 32. Chapter 32 Pulling Away

Just some venting... lessons learned...

Headstall’s Reflections

 

 

Chapter 32 Pulling Away

 

 

There’s a kind of hit you don’t see coming

It can slam your face down in the dirt

Not only lovers have the power

To steal your breath and cause you hurt

 

Under the guise of offered friendship

Loyalty built brick by brick over time

The rug gets pulled when you least expect it

Can’t hear a warning when a friend plays mime

 

How do you choose one friend over another

With no easily discernible reason to do so

I don’t ask much for what I give freely

I ponder, but suspect I shouldn’t want to know

 

Choosing sides has never been my style

And I refuse to condemn or change my convictions

Lessons learned late, but it’s never easy

Friendship shouldn’t come with imposed restrictions

 

There is no reward in holding onto grudges

When proven mistaken about perceived loyalties

Like anything else we hurdle our minds over

We must soon admit there were no guarantees

 

I’ll turn to those things that offer true peace

Simple things, like when bright sun is shining

Or wind that delivers sublime scents of spring

And accept there’s naught to be won from whining

 

There comes a time to give up the ruse

And accept my perceptions were all quite wrong

I’ll put my nose to the proverbial grindstone

Concentrate on bonds that have always proved strong

 

No longer will I suffer resentful fools gladly

Play games where I’m not aware of the rules

If it’s fun for you then by all means carry on

But pick someone else to engage in your duels

 

Life is too short, thus it limits my patience

So I won’t point out how you’ve made me feel

You may wonder briefly why I’ve pulled away

I might hazard hope you can learn to stay real

I'm so thankful to have poetry to help me deal with disappointments, and just the detritus of life in general... thanks for reading.

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.

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This poem is terribly real, full of the power of anger and hurt. You express it fluidly and firmly. Your delivery - civil, reasoned, utterly convincing - makes it carry all the more weight. You convey this with both emotion and dignity.

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On 11/12/2016 09:34 AM, Parker Owens said:

This poem is terribly real, full of the power of anger and hurt. You express it fluidly and firmly. Your delivery - civil, reasoned, utterly convincing - makes it carry all the more weight. You convey this with both emotion and dignity.

Thanks, Parker. I appreciate you reading and letting me know your thoughts. Yeah, these feelings are real, and needed to be spoken. Thanks for your support... cheers... Gary....

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Wow, G-Man, you've hit the nail on the head with how I've felt when supposed friends turn against you. It's happened more than once, and the hardest was when it was my best friend from high school. He chose his fiancee's brother as his best man over me, who he'd already asked several weeks earlier. Someone he'd known nearly eight years had less meaning than a boy who was a stranger one year earlier.
The next hardest was a friend from college who dropped me when I came out to him.
Sigh...it doesn't help to dwell on these people, but it's an awful blow to the heart when it happens.
xoxoxo

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On 11/12/2016 09:59 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

Wow, G-Man, you've hit the nail on the head with how I've felt when supposed friends turn against you. It's happened more than once, and the hardest was when it was my best friend from high school. He chose his fiancee's brother as his best man over me, who he'd already asked several weeks earlier. Someone he'd known nearly eight years had less meaning than a boy who was a stranger one year earlier.

The next hardest was a friend from college who dropped me when I came out to him.

Sigh...it doesn't help to dwell on these people, but it's an awful blow to the heart when it happens.

xoxoxo

Thanks, CG. It shouldn't hurt so much maybe, but it does. The things that make us feel deeply are probably the things that make us good friends to others. I don't like being disappointed in someone I care about, but how long do you let them do it for? You're the best, my dear friend... cheers... Gary... xoxoxo

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I'm so sorry to read this Gary. I mean it's good but such a sad topic, made worse that it's real and has happened to you.
You are a good man Gary. Caring, helpful and kind and I hate that someone has played games with you. But thankfully there is an outlet and of course support from so many on GA. hugz xo

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Raw and real. It's one of those times where it's hard to say job well done because the words of said job hurt so much. I've had to deal with a number of 'choices' that I didn't want to have to make over the past, and it takes a lot of time and resilience for the faith to be restored. It's hard enough to keep in touch with the friends who don't put you in bad spots or stick you with needles you never knew they had in their handbag as it is... :(

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Friendship shouldn’t come with imposed restrictions

 

And there it is. The one line from your deeply moving poem that gets right to the heart of it.

 

The very heart of what friendship is all about. So sometimes it isn't that we're shedding a friend, but realizing whatever we have isn't friendship.

 

Very strong, but clearly expressed, Gary.

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On 11/12/2016 12:27 PM, Mikiesboy said:

I'm so sorry to read this Gary. I mean it's good but such a sad topic, made worse that it's real and has happened to you.

You are a good man Gary. Caring, helpful and kind and I hate that someone has played games with you. But thankfully there is an outlet and of course support from so many on GA. hugz xo

Thanks, tim. I do pride myself on being a good and loyal friend. Most people do... and those are the ones who deserve our time and support... thanks for understanding... Gary xo

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On 11/12/2016 07:14 PM, Lux Apollo said:

Raw and real. It's one of those times where it's hard to say job well done because the words of said job hurt so much. I've had to deal with a number of 'choices' that I didn't want to have to make over the past, and it takes a lot of time and resilience for the faith to be restored. It's hard enough to keep in touch with the friends who don't put you in bad spots or stick you with needles you never knew they had in their handbag as it is... :(

Well said, buddy. You have it exactly. Friendship requires work, but it shouldn't be a chore... and there should be give and take, and genuine loyalty and respect... I appreciate your support... cheers... Gary...

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On 11/13/2016 03:42 AM, skinnydragon said:

Friendship shouldn’t come with imposed restrictions

 

And there it is. The one line from your deeply moving poem that gets right to the heart of it.

 

The very heart of what friendship is all about. So sometimes it isn't that we're shedding a friend, but realizing whatever we have isn't friendship.

 

Very strong, but clearly expressed, Gary.

Thanks, skinny. Yeah, there's nothing worse than realizing a friendship is make-believe... I don't understand that at all... I see we've all been there... cheers, buddy... Gary...

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On 11/13/2016 10:34 AM, dughlas said:

The detritus of life can be composted to become the loam in which grows the fruits of living ...

That was both amusing and beautiful, dugh. Like my mom used to say, you can always take something good away from your trials. You're right :) . Thanks for bringing her to mind, buddy... hope you are well... cheers... Gary....

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It can be life altering to find out someone you put so much trust in isn't who you thought they were... whether it be a friend or a lover. Trust after betrayal can be difficult to recover. Your poem shows how difficult this can be. :hug:

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On 11/13/2016 11:27 AM, LitLover said:

It can be life altering to find out someone you put so much trust in isn't who you thought they were... whether it be a friend or a lover. Trust after betrayal can be difficult to recover. Your poem shows how difficult this can be. :hug:

Thanks, Lit. Trust only gets you so far, and becomes easier to accept it is never going to be what was presented... thanks for the :hug: Cheers... Gary....

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