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    Headstall
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Headstall's Reflections - 68. Chapter 68 Variations on a Theme

My first writing since shoulder surgery and painkillers... snippets of thoughts I humbly share. :) 

*****

 

Variations on a Theme

 

 

I walk my path

With no intentions

Feet in fog

And head in the clouds

 

Just keep moving

Has been my life

Makes me wonder

What I’ve missed

 

Never feeling truly safe

Was my companion

The raven

Or the dove?

 

Here I sit

Both wise and stupid

With wavering confidence

In me and others

 

Has it all

Been smoke and mirrors

My trust a lie I’ve told myself

Feebly built on illusion?

 

Do we all hold back

A piece we guard

Was I ever treasured

Or was I just warmth?

 

Do I walk towards life

Or am I walking away

Survival instinct

Or do I cling to hope?

 

I know what I know

But then again

I wasn’t always the best judge

When my heart was open

 

Have lessons been learned

While clouds cloud

Or is it cowardice

That traps me in fog?

 

Do I look for excuses

To turn away

Is my course charted

By an insistent past?

 

The air becomes thinner

And my steps grow heavy

Yet still I proceed

Unsure of anything

 

Here’s the thing

Life is hard

And all I can do

Is keep looking for answers

 

Until my mind quiets

And I’m able to see vistas again

Comfortable with being me

Once more

 

 

*

Thanks for reading. Cheers!

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter Comments

Thanks, Albert. Each verse stands alone in my opinion, until the last two, when random thoughts finally coalesce. I appreciate your support, buddy. :hug: 

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18 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

Self reflection and questioning thoughts helps us grow, I think. :hug:

And in my case, it centers me. Writing poetry often moves me out of the frame of mind i'm in. Thanks, Def, for reading and commenting. :hug: 

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Once more a fantastic journey into your essential being...much treasured by us as they often distill our own mixtures into richer brews.
I found it telling that you juxtaposed the Dove and Raven...the usual contrary image would be the Hawk in politics, but for internal mixings, this is most apt.  In Norse and Germanic mythos, the Raven is the source of knowledge and examination, hence Hugin and Munin were Odin All-Father's eyes on Midgard and the other realms from Asgard to Jotunheim.  He gave one of his eyes for the gift of learning that could be passed on to humans, so this extra help was more than useful.
Now, you just need to find a Thor's Hammer pendant for protection and you're set.  I got mine at a small shop south of OSU where you could buy all sorts of magical things.  I bought a set of runes for fortune-telling as well as a couple packs of Tarot cards.  :) Got several books on various spiritual paths too.

Edited by ColumbusGuy
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Marty

Posted (edited)

Love the sentiments, Gary! Some nice reflections on life. :thumbup:

If I had to make one small criticism, it would just be that the use of a capital letter at the start of every line, accompanied by a complete lack of punctuation (except for the occasional question mark, and the final full stop) actually made it difficult for me to get the rhythm of the verses correct in my head at times. For example, in the third verse I initially heard in my head that never feeling safe was your companion. It was only when I read the next two lines that I realised that Never feeling safe was a sentence to itself, and that Was my companion actually belonged to the next two lines.

I hope that makes sense. And once I had read the poem through once, I found that I didn't stumble in making sense of the sentence structures the second time.

Edited by Marty
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56 minutes ago, ColumbusGuy said:

Once more a fantastic journey into your essential being...much treasured by us as they often distill our own mixtures into richer brews.
I found it telling that you juxtaposed the Dove and Raven...the usual contrary image would be the Hawk in politics, but for internal mixings, this is most apt.  In Norse and Germanic mythos, the Raven is the source of knowledge and examination, hence Hugin and Munin were Odin All-Father's eyes on Midgard and the other realms from Asgard to Jotunheim.  He gave one of his eyes for the gift of learning that could be passed on to humans, so this extra help was more than useful.
Now, you just need to find a Thor's Hammer pendant for protection and you're set.  I got mine at a small shop south of OSU where you could buy all sorts of magical things.  I bought a set of runes for fortune-telling as well as a couple packs of Tarot cards.  :) Got several books on various spiritual paths too.

Thanks, CG!  Yeah, I liked the imagery of the raven in varied lore... the at-times pernicious king of mischief, playing his games and wreaking havoc with our lives... as opposed to the dove, who is about true love and inner peace. Sometimes I wonder which one guides me. :) 

After I got my DNA results, and learned of my Viking ancestry, I did get a Norse pendant signifying good fortune. Don't know if it works or not, but it looks good. :P  I always love your comments, and this one is no exception.... cheers... Gary xoxoxoxo

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9 minutes ago, Marty said:

Love the sentiments, Gary! Some nice reflections on life. :thumbup:

If I had to make one small criticism, it would just be that the use of a capital letter at the start of every line, accompanied by a complete lack of punctuation (except for the occasional question mark,and the final full stop) actually made it difficult for me to get the rhythm of the verses correct in my head at times. For example, in the third verse I initially heard in my head that never feeling safe was your companion. It was only when I read the next two lines that I realised that Never feeling safe was a sentence to itself, and that Was my companion actually belonged to the next two lines.

I hope that makes sense. And once I had read the poem through once, I found that I didn't stumble in making sense of the sentence structures the second time.

Thanks, Marty, and I appreciate your thoughts. In my poetry, I try to avoid punctuation altogether,  although it is almost impossible... and capitalization of each line is something I play with. There are times I won't use it, as is often the case in free or blank verse, where a sentence might involve three or four lines, but in structured verse, I tend to keep that style. It's a choice I make at the time for each poem.

I actually had used a lot of question marks, but removed all but those at the end of the verse... and I'm pleased you gave it a second read. I almost always do that when I read poetry. I'm pleased too that you liked the sentiments of this one... this is the first thing I've written since the surgery, and it felt good to let out some of my thoughts. Cheers, buddy... Gary.... :hug:  

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Nice look inside Gary's head. Introspection is not what I would expect from a Viking, but what do I know? I only know one, and Hagar the Horrible is scarcely a good model for the line! :)

Very elegant portrayal of some complex and difficult ideas. Bravo.

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10 hours ago, Geron Kees said:

Nice look inside Gary's head. Introspection is not what I would expect from a Viking, but what do I know? I only know one, and Hagar the Horrible is scarcely a good model for the line! :)

Very elegant portrayal of some complex and difficult ideas. Bravo.

It can be scary inside Gary's head. :)  Only three percent of me is Viking,  so I'm no Thor... or Hagar... just a confused, mostly Scot. :P  Thanks, Geron, for reading and  finding elegance here. Cheers... Gary.... :hug: 

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Looking for things means being curious, at least to me. Being curious means being alive and with your head in the clouds: Are you a dreamer?

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2 hours ago, aditus said:

Looking for things means being curious, at least to me. Being curious means being alive and with your head in the clouds: Are you a dreamer?

Yeah, absolutely, I'm a dreamer. As a kid I always had this fantasy world in my head, constantly changing, but where I was safe. It helped with the bad times. And I've always been curious... I was a voracious reader. I've been going through a tough period, but I've always been resilient... having my head in the clouds is not such a bad thing. :)  Thanks, Adi, for your support. :hug: 

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