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    Headstall
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Headstall's Reflections - 7. Chapter 7- Prompt 15- Free Verse- Join Me

Turmoil... some free verse...

Life is just one step at a time.

Headstall’s Reflections

 

 

Chapter 7- Join Me

 

 

I wake up clamoring to reach what’s lost

Beneath ancient unforgotten ruins

Filtering through the life, the pain

The memories

Do you still exist?

Are you still afraid?

I can see—feel—the false bravado

As you face your fright,

Quivering

If I’m to find you, you must help

Cry out from the darkness

Like you do in my dreams

Reach out your hand

Open yourself to the light,

My light and yours

And I will take your hand in mine

All I want is for you to know you’re safe

Surrounded in peace

Loved in your self-imposed death

No more reason for your exile

It’s not for you to carry the shame of others

I would celebrate your courage

And thank you

For you became me

And you kept me safe

As you scrambled for us both

I owe you my life, young one

I wouldn’t be here if not for you

You are free—the weight is off your shoulders

And nothing can hurt you now

I promise you—I promise us

Merged, we are stronger

Join me—no need to be alone anymore

Are we ever truly free of the past... are we even supposed to be? I am trying to embrace mine.

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.

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No Likes!! :heart:
This is heartfelt, frightening, sad and hopeful. I feel for the lost boy you are looking for, he is a hand reaching in darkness, alone and afraid. But you can't be you until you embrace each other. I hope you find each other.

 

tim xo

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On 02/13/2016 03:26 PM, Mikiesboy said:

No Likes!! :heart:

This is heartfelt, frightening, sad and hopeful. I feel for the lost boy you are looking for, he is a hand reaching in darkness, alone and afraid. But you can't be you until you embrace each other. I hope you find each other.

 

tim xo

Thanks, tim. I wasn't keen on posting this at first, but it is part of my reflections. I feel the need to exorcise the shame the young me carried/carries. It is only recently I've delved into this part of me...

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So bittersweet. It is good to embrace your past. It is also okay to leave your past behind. Because in the end it won't matter - you are your past. You can remember it fondly, wish you could forget it, or dwell on the parts you want to rewrite. But done is done and regrets or acceptance will never change anything.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the poor boy you are seeking out to comfort is okay, because he's been with you every day.

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On 02/13/2016 03:35 PM, pzetts3 said:

So bittersweet. It is good to embrace your past. It is also okay to leave your past behind. Because in the end it won't matter - you are your past. You can remember it fondly, wish you could forget it, or dwell on the parts you want to rewrite. But done is done and regrets or acceptance will never change anything.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the poor boy you are seeking out to comfort is okay, because he's been with you every day.

Thanks, pzetts. I think back, and I love that little boy. Sometimes, I don't know how he made it. I put a lot of things away in a little box of sorts, and I would think of them, but only fleetingly... lately, it's been different... I wish I could go back in time and help him when he felt the fear and carried the weight he did. He was such a sensitive little boy... he still is... but he was strong...he had to be...

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A heart touching poem. I was reading too slow to mingle with those feelings and emotions. It was such a great poem.

 

And I know the feeling if someone left you behind and I wished for at least to be seen, to be understand, to be console and to be loved. This poem will have shown this all.

 

And in another sense it also showed that pulling self from the past. The only person you know undoubtedly is yourself. Your pain, misery only can understand by you. This poem will be hope for someone who left himself and was acting like someone else.

 

I Loved it, Gary... :)

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On 02/13/2016 04:22 PM, Emi GS said:

A heart touching poem. I was reading too slow to mingle with those feelings and emotions. It was such a great poem.

 

And I know the feeling if someone left you behind and I wished for at least to be seen, to be understand, to be console and to be loved. This poem will have shown this all.

 

And in another sense it also showed that pulling self from the past. The only person you know undoubtedly is yourself. Your pain, misery only can understand by you. This poem will be hope for someone who left himself and was acting like someone else.

 

I Loved it, Gary... :)

Thank you, Emi, for such a lovely review. I am only beginning to really take a good look at things from my past, and how they affected me, and I think I was very lucky it/they didn't drag me down... thanks again, my friend...

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Without that little man you wouldn't be the big man you're now, Gary. Without him you woulnd't have been able to write this touching poem. He doesn't need your help, he helped you to become what you are. Maybe you wish things could have been different -better- for him, but would that have resulted in the same Gary we know ?

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On 02/13/2016 04:45 PM, J.HunterDunn said:

Without that little man you wouldn't be the big man you're now, Gary. Without him you woulnd't have been able to write this touching poem. He doesn't need your help, he helped you to become what you are. Maybe you wish things could have been different -better- for him, but would that have resulted in the same Gary we know ?

That's a good question, Peter. I think I owe him a lot, and I need to start thinking of him as me. I'm getting closer, as I examine events I put away. I AM a sensitive individual, and I like that about me... I think the good outweighs the bad, but I wonder now if these traumas made me more so? I guess in the end it doesn't matter. Thanks for an evocative review, my friend...

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A bit lost for words...
That brave young boy broke the cycle, he became better than he should have been, offer him comfort but also pass on our thanks, without him there would be no you.

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As terrible as a past may have been, it makes us who we are. If you manage to merge the past with your stronger present and not get stuck on the negative, then the past helps us become true. Thr trick is to embrace, not suppress and not surrender. A beautiful poem!

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Your poem gives hope, Gary. Hope that whatever is holding us back, it's not stronger than ourselves. That it is possible to move on, to let things go for good, and to try to live once again. Thanks for sharing that piece of your mind, heart and soul.

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The sad irony of this is, the little boy had to go through this so you would be who you are now. If he wasn't brave enough, strong enough? Who or where might you be? If you listen, I bet you'd hear him thank you for not letting him down. I think he would be immensely proud of you. You should be proud of you. It's a great, brave thing to embrace him and your past, as he will always be part of you..

 

You're a good, good man Gary, I'm glad you're never giving up.... Thank you you for sharing..

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On 02/13/2016 06:55 PM, Bucket1 said:

A bit lost for words...

That brave young boy broke the cycle, he became better than he should have been, offer him comfort but also pass on our thanks, without him there would be no you.

Thanks, Bucket. It's weird I know, but when I have these dreams, I see him as someone else... yeah, I feel what he does, but I am detached. It's hard to explain, but maybe it's what helped me deal all these years. I want to thank him too. Wonderful review... thanks, my friend... cheers... Gary...

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On 02/13/2016 08:35 PM, Puppilull said:

As terrible as a past may have been, it makes us who we are. If you manage to merge the past with your stronger present and not get stuck on the negative, then the past helps us become true. Thr trick is to embrace, not suppress and not surrender. A beautiful poem!

Thanks, Puppi! That is exactly what I believe I am trying to do. I'm not locking him away anymore. I am getting to know him in increments I can handle. It may be weird to say, but he was an amazing little boy, who was able to figure out when to call the police, when to go get neighbors, and when to hide his little brother. He was a gutsy little kid, but he kept himself safe, and at times that was not easy... so yeah, I'm embracing him. Goad you liked the poem... cheers... Gary...

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On 02/14/2016 12:20 AM, bignick said:

Your poem gives hope, Gary. Hope that whatever is holding us back, it's not stronger than ourselves. That it is possible to move on, to let things go for good, and to try to live once again. Thanks for sharing that piece of your mind, heart and soul.

I've had a good life overall, Nick, but that younger me didn't. He had a good mother who had her own tremendous burden... her beauty was a goddam curse. Anyway, it is finally getting easier to share. I love your thoughts in this review. I sense you understand. Thank you, my friend... cheers... Gary...

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On 02/14/2016 02:39 AM, dughlas said:

I'm out of likes :heart:

Remembering past love, remembering past self ... just remembering ...

Thanks, dugh. I've avoided remembering a lot of things from the past, but no longer. Unfortunately, everyone is gone who could answer some questions of 'why' but that's okay. I'm getting there. I cried like a baby when I wrote this, and then after I got up the nerve to post it... the young me conquered his fears because he had to... and so do I... I am becoming more whole, I believe... much appreciation, dugh... Gary...

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On 02/14/2016 04:18 AM, Defiance19 said:

The sad irony of this is, the little boy had to go through this so you would be who you are now. If he wasn't brave enough, strong enough? Who or where might you be? If you listen, I bet you'd hear him thank you for not letting him down. I think he would be immensely proud of you. You should be proud of you. It's a great, brave thing to embrace him and your past, as he will always be part of you..

 

You're a good, good man Gary, I'm glad you're never giving up.... Thank you you for sharing..

Thank you, Def. I just realized that this site, and the wonderful people I've become friends with have allowed me to let some old guards down. There are numerous people out there that have to exist with the demons of their youth.... I am one of those... and I am one of the lucky ones, I know. Thank you for the message you send me... it makes baring myself easier... cheers, my good and dear friend... cheers... Gary...

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:hug:

 

I cannot find the words to describe this poem, but if I could choose, I think, if your younger self was to see you today, he'd be proud of you and would have hope for the future :)
Gary, you make us better men and women for not only reading your stories and poems, but also for knowing you, thank you so much!

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The past never seems far behind some days, does it? This one made me tear up and wish I could help the boy who still carries that pain. :hug:

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On 02/14/2016 11:29 AM, Drew Espinosa said:

:hug:

 

I cannot find the words to describe this poem, but if I could choose, I think, if your younger self was to see you today, he'd be proud of you and would have hope for the future :)

Gary, you make us better men and women for not only reading your stories and poems, but also for knowing you, thank you so much!

Thank you, Drew. I think my younger self had other things on his mind. But yeah, I'd like to think he'd be proud of me. I'm certainly proud of him. He handled some pretty difficult and terrifying stuff. Your words are too king, my friend, but thank you...

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On 02/14/2016 12:52 PM, AC Benus said:

It's a really beautiful poem, and I feel we are lucky you posted it here. Thanks for sharing it, Gary

Thanks, AC... it was a difficult one to let see the light of day. Glad you see worth in it... cheers... Gary...

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On 02/14/2016 02:57 PM, LitLover said:

The past never seems far behind some days, does it? This one made me tear up and wish I could help the boy who still carries that pain. :hug:

Thanks, Lit. That little boy may never be truly okay, but he was strong... and I'm okay... I survived because of him... he never folded up, even though the temptation was great... Gary...

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zjudy onr motr--ehsy voulf iy hut? On top of the last one which stirred up my emotions, this put the cap on them...I'm done for the night before I start crying over what should have been a happy future together with the fondness of long joyful times already shared.
These things are incredibly powerful though innocuous enough at first sight.

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