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    Headstall
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Headstall's Reflections - 58. Chapter 58 Lair of the Liar

Purging personal demons

Headstall’s Reflections

 

 

Chapter 58 Lair of the Liar

 

 

It’s right in front of you

Can’t you see it?

Open your reluctant eyes

And close your contaminated heart

It’s camouflaging the truth

Coloring your perceptions

With grey

Clouding your logic

Utilizing smoke and mirrors

With such practiced ease

Manipulating as it engulfs

Witness the folly of your prostration

Peek behind the veil

So skillfully wrought

Yes, you see now

You’ve been a fool

Deceived, damaged and delivered

Into the lair of the liar

It’s real

Though it shows no horns

Cloven hooves strike unseen

Just before the curtain falls

You have all your vision now

It played with you

While it desecrated your soul

What remains is defiled

Forever changed

Diminished

And you have naught to blame

But your blatant refusal

To face an uncomfortable truth

You let it in

Thanks for reading.

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Unfortunately, sometimes prentending not to see the truth is a preferable option for some... no matter how obvious that truth is.  Friends of a co-worker of mine saw the signs he was being cheated on by his wife (eg strange vehicle 'visiting' when he was at work).  They refused to see or acknowledge the uncomfortable truth until it all came out when she finally left him.  You're right though... they feel foolish for buying the obvious lies now.  

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3 minutes ago, LitLover said:

Unfortunately, sometimes prentending not to see the truth is a preferable option for some... no matter how obvious that truth is.  Friends of a co-worker of mine saw the signs he was being cheated on by his wife (eg strange vehicle 'visiting' when he was at work).  They refused to see or acknowledge the uncomfortable truth until it all came out when she finally left him.  You're right though... they feel foolish for buying the obvious lies now.  

Yeah, in hindsight, I was so blind. I still bear the scars of a horrendous betrayal. My brain couldn't handle the thought of being cheated on, and when that one moment of clarity hit, it damn near destroyed me. In that same hindsight, I have to take some responsibility for being so stupid. That stupidity made me an enabler. We all have our demons, our anxieties, and our depressions. And we have memories to relive, both good and bad. All we can do is let them out into the ether, hopefully quieting them and finding peace for a time. Thanks for the support, Lit xoxoxo

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Massive :hug:and :kiss: my dearest friend.  You know what the saddest thing is?  A lot of people just don't give betrayal a second thought--they see some benefit to themselves, and that's all that matters.  I never could understand that; friends, or even acquaintances deserve our best behavior--at least that's the way I've always felt about it...so the idea of doing that to someone--even my worst enemy--just doesn't enter my head.

You know what's worse still?  It's that it often happens more than once in your life, and not always by the same people...I can hardly count the time's it's happened to me.  That's why my number of long term friends is fairly small--they know they can trust me absolutely, and I can trust them.

I suppose one of the least damaging had a good outcome too: when I first moved into Columbus, I lived with a girl I knew and another guy I knew who needed a place for a while.  I liked him a lot, but we never were more than friends despite talking about the idea of trying to be lovers.  Anyway, we were shopping downtown and he urged me to ask one of the clerks out who I thought was cute, and the guy said yes...but when we met up a day or two later, he talked with me for a while, then hit on my friend big-time.  That hurt a lot, but what redeemed that moment was the outrage my friend showed toward this guy, cursing him and telling him to get lost and never try to contact either of us again.  He remained a good friend until he died two decades later.

The worst had to be my best friend removing his offer to be his Best Man at his wedding at his fiancee's urging, and he did it two weeks before the ceremony in favor of her brother he'd known less than two years.  He came from very honest parents and we spent a lot of time together from high school on through college...but I guess that weighed less on his scales than his desire to get laid regularly. 

Betrayal is all the more devastating since we don't see it coming, but I have to wonder if I'd appreciate a warning if someone else saw it and tried to warn me...in the light of day, I'd say 'Yes, I want to know,' but if I'm deep into a situation?  I don't know.  I'd like to think I'd believe the warnings, but the heart is often blindfolded when it comes to seeing clearly.

I thank the gods daily for steadfast friends--and you're at the top of my list.  :heart:

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Change and uncertainty can seem worse than accepting the truth. Clutching to what is known can seem safer than launching once more into the unknown. The fact that passing through hard truths might lead to a better you and a better life is understandably difficult. Frightening, almost. :hug: for you as you make that journey, my friend.

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Hi Gary,

 Great realistic poem. I hate that it is realistic. Soooo true… It can both be painful and stay embedded in our minds until we are consumed, or we can grieve and move on to better things. Of course, the hurt will still be there, and we have to be careful that when the next one comes along, we do not offend and hurt the way we were hurt. Wonderful as usual!

 

On a side note, I am reading other stories on here, but you still remain my favorite (LOL). I have not gotten Shawn to read any others; your stories are the only ones he is interested in right now. Thanks please continue to do what you do!:2thumbs:

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On 8/5/2017 at 3:10 PM, Parker Owens said:

This speaks directly and forcefully to me. I like it, though I am unsettled by it, too. 

Thanks, Parker. This clamored to get out. There is a lot of emotion in this one, and I was unsettled writing it. Depression and anxiety colors everything in a stark and devastating way... gray takes on a new ugliness and some memories and acts are impossible to totally leave behind. As always, I appreciate hearing your thoughts and having your support... hope you are well... cheers, my friend... Gary... :hug: 

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On 8/5/2017 at 8:42 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

Massive :hug:and :kiss: my dearest friend.  You know what the saddest thing is?  A lot of people just don't give betrayal a second thought--they see some benefit to themselves, and that's all that matters.  I never could understand that; friends, or even acquaintances deserve our best behavior--at least that's the way I've always felt about it...so the idea of doing that to someone--even my worst enemy--just doesn't enter my head.

You know what's worse still?  It's that it often happens more than once in your life, and not always by the same people...I can hardly count the time's it's happened to me.  That's why my number of long term friends is fairly small--they know they can trust me absolutely, and I can trust them.

I suppose one of the least damaging had a good outcome too: when I first moved into Columbus, I lived with a girl I knew and another guy I knew who needed a place for a while.  I liked him a lot, but we never were more than friends despite talking about the idea of trying to be lovers.  Anyway, we were shopping downtown and he urged me to ask one of the clerks out who I thought was cute, and the guy said yes...but when we met up a day or two later, he talked with me for a while, then hit on my friend big-time.  That hurt a lot, but what redeemed that moment was the outrage my friend showed toward this guy, cursing him and telling him to get lost and never try to contact either of us again.  He remained a good friend until he died two decades later.

The worst had to be my best friend removing his offer to be his Best Man at his wedding at his fiancee's urging, and he did it two weeks before the ceremony in favor of her brother he'd known less than two years.  He came from very honest parents and we spent a lot of time together from high school on through college...but I guess that weighed less on his scales than his desire to get laid regularly. 

Betrayal is all the more devastating since we don't see it coming, but I have to wonder if I'd appreciate a warning if someone else saw it and tried to warn me...in the light of day, I'd say 'Yes, I want to know,' but if I'm deep into a situation?  I don't know.  I'd like to think I'd believe the warnings, but the heart is often blindfolded when it comes to seeing clearly.

I thank the gods daily for steadfast friends--and you're at the top of my list.  :heart:

Warnings, even ones we 'see' ourselves, can fall on deaf ears when we care so much. Betrayal, such as you so eloquently illustrate, can last a lifetime. The scars fade, but if you look close, they are still there and always will be. This was a deeply personal poem for me... a reminder and a release... thank you for getting it and getting me, my dear friend... you are at the top of mine too :heart: ... cheers... Gary.... xoxoxoxoxo 

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On 8/6/2017 at 9:19 AM, northie said:

Change and uncertainty can seem worse than accepting the truth. Clutching to what is known can seem safer than launching once more into the unknown. The fact that passing through hard truths might lead to a better you and a better life is understandably difficult. Frightening, almost. :hug: for you as you make that journey, my friend.

So true, northie. Sometimes we just don't want to believe. Facing truths can be painful at times, but fooling ourselves can do almost as much damage as being fooled. Yes... frightening... thank you for getting it... cheers, my friend... Gary.... :hug: 

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On 8/6/2017 at 9:57 AM, Bucket1 said:

Cheating just hurts

Damn right, B. Betrayal of any kind is a hard thing to get over. Just when we think we've seen it all, more comes. Yet, I have great memories and great friends, so I turn my attention to that. It's just sometimes....  Thanks and cheers, buddy... you're the best :hug: Gary xoxoxo

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On 8/9/2017 at 9:04 AM, patrick1991 said:

Hi Gary,

 Great realistic poem. I hate that it is realistic. Soooo true… It can both be painful and stay embedded in our minds until we are consumed, or we can grieve and move on to better things. Of course, the hurt will still be there, and we have to be careful that when the next one comes along, we do not offend and hurt the way we were hurt. Wonderful as usual!

 

On a side note, I am reading other stories on here, but you still remain my favorite (LOL). I have not gotten Shawn to read any others; your stories are the only ones he is interested in right now. Thanks please continue to do what you do!:2thumbs:

Yeah, real life can suck. I am nothing if not resilient. This poem is for all of us who have spent time in the lair of the liar. We are blinded so easily by those who thrive on being clever... thinking life is a game to be won. Glad it meant something to you, buddy.

 

Of course you should read other atories on here... there are many great ones... thank you to Shawn :) ... he can stick with just mine if he wants ;) ... and yeah, I will continue to write as long as I possibly can... cheers to you both... Gary.... :hug: 

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