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    Headstall
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Headstall's Reflections - 86. Chapter 86 Unbalanced

After a rather scary hospital stay, I wrote a poem but never posted it because I didn't like it. I decided to try my hand at the 'Skyscraper' form, and brought this one out again for that purpose. Following it is the unedited original I first wrote.

Unbalanced

 

 

What do we do

When the light dims

And bright yellows fade to greys

When cherished songs become daggers

Striking deep in a tired heart that does remember

The distant pain and beauty of lost love

Pray what is this man to do

When rain doesn’t ease

My hidden sorrows

 

What do we do

When the freshest wind

No longer fills our lungs with power

Instead causing us to huddle from its cold

Like a decrepit creature no longer in sync with life

As it slides over numb skin quick to hide

And forces us from our sanctum

Like a beaten cur

 

What do we do

As our light shutters

And old calloused fingers

No longer discern between leather and lace

And our mind finds it challenging to travel straight paths

When our heart is reduced to mechanics

For the pulse of tepid blood

To keep us alive

Another day

 

What do we do

When the pit of our stomach

Feels bigger than yon harvest moon

And our mortal fears become all consuming

Wreaking havoc as we struggle with our newest reality

The end may indeed be drawing ever closer

But as long as our body draws breath

We can discover good purpose

So we cling and we adapt

 

  

 

 

“Unbalanced” original- Unedited

 

 

What do we do

When the light dims

When yellows become grays

And songs become daggers

To a heart remembering only vaguely

 

What do we do

When rain doesn’t wash away pain

Like it used to

When fresh wind now slides off numb skin

And all we feel is… nothing

 

What do we do

When the clouds won’t disperse

To give the sun a chance

And the fog of the world

Seeps within

 

What do we do

When the light dims

And tough fingers

Can’t tell the difference

Between leather and Lace

 

When straight paths

evade the mind

And we recognize our hearts

Have become simply pumps

For lazy, tepid blood

 

What do we do

When the pit in our stomach

Is bigger than the moon

A moon that doesn’t swallow the dark

Or ignite new passion

 

What do we do besides hold on… and hope

This 'Skyscraper' form was fun. Not sure if I will use it again, but we'll see. It feels good to write some poetry, and that's what matters to me. Any thoughts on the same poem done two different ways? It's the first time I've published an unedited work, but I thought it would be interesting to compare something very raw to something more finished. Cheers!
Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Chapter Comments

2 hours ago, JeffreyL said:

I enjoyed both poems. The revised one seemed more finished and complete to me. As a person getting on in life (I turned 70 in December) I have to say I liked the way you captured those changes and how they feel. Thanks. 

Thanks, Jeffrey. I appreciate hearing your thoughts on the two poems... and I agree the revised one feels more finished. Getting on in life means a lot of changes for us. :)  :hug: 

  • Like 1

Wow, G-Man, when you come back into sight you do it with a bang!  Hee hee.

The changes age brings about are a mixed blessing and curse...Okay, I'm an inch shorter than I used to be, but then, I'm also almost forty pounds lighter than I was in college now being 205#.  Also on the minus is the diabetes I inherited from my mother that showed up when I was 41, though it's managed with meds, yet has caused vision problems which are only partially corrected, leaving me with about half the vision I had before.

On the plus, no neart or respiratory problems, no ulcers or allergies, no mental aberrations though I do have a bit of arthritis in my knees from accidents rather than age.

Sigh...what's that old saw?  You can't win for losing?

On the whole, I'm not bad, got reasonable health, a few good friends both in real life and online, and my house is paid off...of course inflation and utilities see that I don't need to worry about having any savings....

Working on a chapter for you, my friend!

  • Love 1
1 hour ago, ColumbusGuy said:

Wow, G-Man, when you come back into sight you do it with a bang!  Hee hee.

The changes age brings about are a mixed blessing and curse...Okay, I'm an inch shorter than I used to be, but then, I'm also almost forty pounds lighter than I was in college now being 205#.  Also on the minus is the diabetes I inherited from my mother that showed up when I was 41, though it's managed with meds, yet has caused vision problems which are only partially corrected, leaving me with about half the vision I had before.

On the plus, no neart or respiratory problems, no ulcers or allergies, no mental aberrations though I do have a bit of arthritis in my knees from accidents rather than age.

Sigh...what's that old saw?  You can't win for losing?

On the whole, I'm not bad, got reasonable health, a few good friends both in real life and online, and my house is paid off...of course inflation and utilities see that I don't need to worry about having any savings....

Working on a chapter for you, my friend!

Glad you are doing well for an old guy, CG. I never used to think about my mortality... and then a switch flipped. What can we do but accept and hope our end will be a good one. I have my kids and grandkids, and they make me want to hang around as long as I can. :)  Cheers, and glad to hear you are writing, my friend. :hug: 

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