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    Headstall
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Headstall's Reflections - 80. Chapter 80 Sea of Candles

A little bit of venting, and reflection. This pandemic is a difficult thing to maneuver.

                                                                                                                                                                                         ***

 

Sea of Candles

 

I used to see a sea of candles

Spread out, flames flickering high

Lighting darkness and giving hope

But now I am watching them die

 

Options, chances, and mysteries

Spread out for me to explore

Love and purpose abounded

But alas, abundance no more

 

My old senses squint to find them

These weak, tiny beacons of light

Led by the hiss as they sputter

Their light no longer white

 

I used to see a sea of dreams

Never considering their expiration

For blind youth cloaks our limitations

Imposed by time’s duration

 

The path forward becomes a maze

Where mistakes are oft compounded

Each regret snuffs out a marker

Leaving this traveler confounded

 

Yet, I’m a determined man by nature

And as long as a single flare burns

I’ll eke my way through this spotty veil

And search for what my heart yearns

 

 

 

Too Much Time

 

Alone with my own thoughts

Was always a treasured gift

Walking in peaceful solitude

A way for mood to lift

 

Alas, not so anymore

As I writhe in a state of strife

Wishing for squealing chaos

To disrupt my lonely life

 

My brain gets lost in circles

Alighting on things morose

Like living out my ‘Golden Years’

With no option to be verbose

 

Early March was my last hug

And yes I know I’m whining

But at least I have my dog

Guess that’s my ‘Silver Lining’

 

A message to all leaders

Who have wasted TOO MUCH TIME

Get off your big fat asses

What you’re doing is a CRIME

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Share your thoughts and experience if you wish. Ups and downs are a part of life. I can handle the aging, but coupled with the pandemic, I admit my bad days are more numerous. Stay safe and be well... cheers!
Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Well yes BUT the rest of the world does not have a half-assed, narcissistic, yellow buffoon as their supposed leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I just had to put that out there!  I also agree your poem captured the mood of many of us Gary!  It is a strange feeling - almost like feeling empty or even worse but I do have faith that most of us are heading in the same direction!

Please Stay Safe. 😘

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34 minutes ago, KayDeeMac said:

Well yes BUT the rest of the world does not have a half-assed, narcissistic, yellow buffoon as their supposed leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I just had to put that out there!  I also agree your poem captured the mood of many of us Gary!  It is a strange feeling - almost like feeling empty or even worse but I do have faith that most of us are heading in the same direction!

Please Stay Safe. 😘

Lol. I'll leave that alone... but yeah... I hear you. :( 

It is a strange feeling... knowing the world is going on around you but you can't participate. I miss my kids and grandkids, and sometimes I get angry... and feel sorry for myself. It doesn't help that all of us are going through the same things. These are supposed to be my 'golden years' and it's only been four months, but it's starting to seem like it will never end. For the most part, I'm okay... but it takes effort. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and for making me smile, my friend. :hug: 

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Gary,

I like many many others have been through some tough times, rough issues and bleak futures......but the present state of the country and the entire planet seems overwhelming for my mind to make sense of it.....A feeling of hopelessness is something that I have fought throughout my life; I think hopelessness is winning....AND, I for once don't have a backup plan.....can't even come up with something...anything that will make a difference.............

I've always liked the lyric......."better to burn out than fade away"............It now is so more special to me...........Mike

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51 minutes ago, flamingo136 said:

Gary,

I like many many others have been through some tough times, rough issues and bleak futures......but the present state of the country and the entire planet seems overwhelming for my mind to make sense of it.....A feeling of hopelessness is something that I have fought throughout my life; I think hopelessness is winning....AND, I for once don't have a backup plan.....can't even come up with something...anything that will make a difference.............

I've always liked the lyric......."better to burn out than fade away"............It now is so more special to me...........Mike

I like that lyric too, Mike. It does seem like we are fading away some days, doesn't it? My days have become indistinguishable from each other, and that is worse than disconcerting. I feel my age at a time I need to feel alive, and like you, it's hard to maintain hope. But, as I said in my poem, I am a determined man by nature... we have to remember that about ourselves, and we have to ride this out. We can't let this defeat us. Thanks for sharing with me... stay strong and stay safe, my friend... Gary.... :hug: 

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1 minute ago, JeffreyL said:

Thanks for putting into words what so many of us are thinking and feeling. 

It's so hard not to be angry about the pandemic. A lot of this was so unnecessary, if we'd just had smart and caring leadership throughout the world. Now it's become a political football... how is that possible. As far as aging, I can deal with disappearing options, but I can't deal with outright callous stupidity. Thanks, Jeff! :hug: 

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1 hour ago, Parker Owens said:

I like your metaphor in Sea of Candles. It really works for me. Perhaps there are fewer candles now; but maybe the ones we carry burn brighter, enough to be part of another’s sea. Thank you. 

Thanks, Parker. Maybe so... but lately they've been harder to see. I guess there are more behind me than there are in front of me. :hug: 

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I love your imagery, my dear friend.  Think of it linked to birthdays also...there will always be more ahead than behind, we just have to wait for them....
Times are rough right now, and politics have hindered the cooperation needed to combat this virus more effectively, but we have more knowledge now and just have to rely on sanity and facts rather than fear and division.
On a side note: this isn't the worst pandemic we've had--the Influenza outbreak of 1918 killed tens of millions worldwide and while not much could have been done, the government at that time issued no guidelines or bulletins on it at all, though the military knew about it in 1917 when it began.  It impacted the war in Europe on both sides, and here at home mass graves had to be dug for the dead.  It had such an impact that there was even a children's rhyme about it.
All that in a time with less people and fewer modes of quick transport, so I think we're not doing too bad in comparison.....
Coincidentally, my late father was born in late March of 1918, and I think it's a wonder that he lived through the epidemic.  I saw the grave of his older brother who died in 1914 of diphtheria at age three.

Hugs and much love, my dear Gary.

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On 7/8/2020 at 6:06 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

I love your imagery, my dear friend.  Think of it linked to birthdays also...there will always be more ahead than behind, we just have to wait for them....
Times are rough right now, and politics have hindered the cooperation needed to combat this virus more effectively, but we have more knowledge now and just have to rely on sanity and facts rather than fear and division.
On a side note: this isn't the worst pandemic we've had--the Influenza outbreak of 1918 killed tens of millions worldwide and while not much could have been done, the government at that time issued no guidelines or bulletins on it at all, though the military knew about it in 1917 when it began.  It impacted the war in Europe on both sides, and here at home mass graves had to be dug for the dead.  It had such an impact that there was even a children's rhyme about it.
All that in a time with less people and fewer modes of quick transport, so I think we're not doing too bad in comparison.....
Coincidentally, my late father was born in late March of 1918, and I think it's a wonder that he lived through the epidemic.  I saw the grave of his older brother who died in 1914 of diphtheria at age three.

Hugs and much love, my dear Gary.

Sorry I missed this, buddy. Unfortunately, I'm in the same place I was when I wrote these poems. I'm still lost and still angry. As far as this not being our worst pandemic, I'm beginning to wonder, because it isn't over yet, and the mistakes keep being repeated. It seems to a lot of people in power, some lives are considered negligible and I find that callousness abhorrent. I still have faith in people, but not in the societies we have built. Wearing a mask is still an issue up for discussion for god's sake. How utterly ridiculous is that? 

Anyway... I am trying really hard to stay positive... stay safe, my dear friend... cheers... G-man. xoxoxoxo

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